Three cheers for sweet revenge! Here is the final chapter of Love Letters. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Not mine, no money, don't sue. Everything belongs to J.K.Rowling, who is a characterisation genius. I'm not. (cries)
Summary: Its April fool's day and Fred and George are on the warpath. And who should the poor defenceless targets be, other than our darlings Percy and Oliver? What follows is utter carnage, and some wonderful Fred and George moments, even if I do say so myself. Read and enjoy.
Warning: Um…I used semi-bad words, and hinted at Oliver and Percy kissing. Hinted.
Dedication: For Mel (aka – Veritas Indolentia Adamo), my partner in all things slashy!
Notes: Revenge. That it the theme of this chapter, and it is very coincidental with my feelings at this moment in time, although I shan't say why, because it's boring, and offensive towards Mel's boyfriend. Also, as I was feeling very homicidal when writing this, I feel some of the mischief may have drained out of the twins. Sorry. All criticism and general comments via reviews, please! I don't mind criticism, honest!
"Percy! Percy!" a voice called out through the corridor. As soon as Percy heard it he quickened his pace, desperate to lose Oliver round the next corner by ducking behind one of the statues. It wasn't even lunch yet; couldn't Oliver wait until the time specified for this discussion? Could he at least give Percy some time to God damn think about what he was going to say?
"Percy, would you slow down? You're not going to shake me off by the statue of the lady in the big hat, you know." Oliver persisted, instantly recognising Percy's attempts to flee. The Head Boy reluctantly came to a halt and let the brunette catch up with him. He didn't notice that as Oliver came closer he was slowly edging away, until he found himself backed up against a wall.
"Oh for Merlin's sake, Percy! I'm not going to jump you or anything!" Oliver snapped.
"I'll talk to you after lunch, Oliver, like you said in your…letter." Percy mumbled, already feeling the intense heat of a Weasley blush consume his face. Just the thought of what Oliver said in that letter made him want to squirm.
Oliver sighed. "Perce, that letter's why I'm here. I didn't send it. I didn't even write it."
"What?"
"It was the twins. It's April Fool's day, you dolt!"
"April Fool's day? The twins? What?"
"I got a matching one from you." Oliver waved a piece of parchment under Percy's nose, wearing an expression similar to that of an adult carefully explaining something to a young child. Percy suddenly felt very patronised and huffily snatched the letter out of Oliver's hand, his eyes violently darting across the words. Eventually he allowed himself to absorb them, and found himself repeating passages to Oliver out of pure disbelief,
"'I'm just Percy. Boring old Percy.' Why those little buggers! Hold on… 'the butterflies moved somewhere else entirely'! Merlin's beard! I can't believe this! I'm going to kill them! How dare they?"
He instinctively reached for his wand ready to hex his brothers into another dimension, but found he couldn't reach it due to Oliver's hand firmly gripping his arm.
"Hold on there Perce," he said. "Let's not get too hasty. I've got a better idea."
Percy felt like clobbering his roommate. "Like what? Because I'm not sure about you, but I've got a really nasty little jinx that ought to sort those two out for a good few years to come!"
"Patience, Percy. They've been hexed by you before, remember? Let's catch the little bastards at their own game instead and pull a small prank of our own." Percy stopped struggling, interested in what Oliver had planned.
"What kind of prank?"
Oliver grinned. "You'll see. But I need to read the letter they sent you first." Percy obediently held out his letter, neatly folded, though a little creased at the edges where he gripped it too hard during the second read through. Oliver quirked an eyebrow at the immaculate keeping of the letter before reading it himself. The eyebrow quirked even further.
"'It was either this letter or a surprise in the shower one day'?" he quoted. Percy blushed, now having the luxury of being able to let embarrassment replace horror. "Oh, this one I like! 'It's more than just physical attraction. If it was just that then Fred and George would be getting a letter each because, let's face it, they are two sex bombs just waiting to go off!' Those cheeky little gits!" Oliver chuckled, picturing the twins sitting down and writing all that drivel. He had to give them credit for their excellent imaginations, and some would even put the believability of the letters down to good empathetic skills, though somehow Oliver couldn't see the twins having an empathetic bone in their bodies.
"So, what's this prank you have planned?" Percy pressed, noticeably discomfited by the content of the letters. Oliver smirked, and after a final glance at both letters, he filled Percy in on his masterful plan of wonder…
It was after lunch that day when Fred and George Weasley excitedly settled themselves up a tree near the lake. There were hushed whispers telling the other to shut up, or politely requesting that could they please stop fidgeting with the video camera before they break it, both usually replied to with a thump on the head.
"This is going to be the best April Fool's day ever!" Fred giggled. George was keyed up beyond being capable of words, and merely nodded as his brother continued, "I can't wait to see their faces! This is going to be pure gold! I mean, can you imagine how they're going to react to each other! They're going to be so embarrassed! And then when we jump out and tell them it was all a joke, they're either going to kiss us or kill us! Personally, I opt for the killing, but that's beside the point. The point is…"
"The point is," George interrupted, having calmed down enough to speak again, "We are going to have enough embarrassment footage to last us till the end of Hogwarts, meaning either excellent potential for blackmail…"
"Or the power to shut Oliver and Percy up whenever they're going on at us about Quidditch practice or rule breaking or something." Fred finished. Both boys rubbed their hands together with glee, resulting in George almost dropping the camera.
"Idiot! Be careful with that!"
"Sorry, it's not like I intentionally dropped it or anything, is it? I mean…"
"Shut up! Percy's coming!"
"Where?"
"There!"
Sure enough, emerging from the castle was Percy, looking thoroughly miserable and flustered. He briskly walked over to the lake, conveniently picked the spot right under the tree that concealed the twins, and sat down in a huff. He obviously didn't want to be there, and kept glancing around him, presumably looking for Oliver. He didn't have to wait for more than five minutes before Oliver came trotting up to the lake, dressed in his Quidditch robes. Fred and George exchanged a look between them that simply said 'Oops'. They'd forgotten that they were due on the pitch in fifteen minutes for practice.
"Hullo Percy." said Oliver. He braved a weak smile.
"Hullo Ollie." Percy replied, provoking a flickering smirk from Oliver.
"I…er…I guess we need to talk some stuff over."
Percy sighed. "Yes. You said some very serious things in that letter, Oliver." Oliver opened his mouth to agree, but stopped as Percy's words registered. He instantly did a double take.
"Hold on, I sent you a letter? That's not right; I'm here to talk to you about the letter you sent me!"
"But I didn't send you a letter. You sent me one."
"No I didn't."
Percy looked ultimately crestfallen. "So, you don't love me?" he croaked. Oliver was bewildered,
"I…well…I mean…do you want me to?" Percy stared at Oliver with his mouth hanging open. For a gleeful second the twins thought he was going to hit him, but instead he looked at Oliver with hopeful eyes and gave the smallest, shyest of nods ever known.
"You don't seem so sure, Perce." Oliver said, gently cupping the boys chin in his hand.
"Yes." Percy whispered. "I do want you to love me."
"Well then I do. With all my heart."
Percy beamed and went to say something, but Oliver hushed him by placing a finger on his lips. He dragged Percy round the other side of the tree wearing the most mischievous of grins, oblivious to the twins scrabbling around above him, trying to keep him and Percy in their line of sight without falling out of the tree. To their dismay, they disappeared underneath a branch thick with view-obscuring leaves.
"I can't see them!" Fred hissed.
"Neither can I!" George hissed back. "What are they doing?"
Fred glared at his brother. "I'll give you three guesses, Einstein!" There was a moment's consideration before George cottoned on, triggering another Weasley blush. Then some very obvious sounds began floating upwards from underneath the branch.
"Mmmm…Oliver!"
"Oh God, Percy!"
George let out a small squeak of shock. "They actually…they're really…but it was just a wind-up!" he spluttered. Fred nodded, equally baffled. He had come here to watch Percy and Oliver duke it out, not make out! Still, his father always told him to play the hand you're dealt with, so he swung down from the tree as discreetly as he could and set the video camera to 'Record'. He was, naturally, closely followed by George, and the two inched around the tree until their victims were in sight. Unfortunately, Oliver and Percy appeared to be already waiting for them.
"Hello Fred." Percy sang, using his best Head Boy 'Gotcha!' voice.
"Hello George." Oliver sang, using a voice scarily identical to Percy's. "You look a little shocked. Were you expecting someone else?"
"Um…we thought…we thought it was Percy and Penelope!" Fred lied sheepishly, trying not to look as confused as he felt. He had definitely heard them kissing, but they hadn't been. They were far too calm and collected to have been snogging each other's faces off just a few seconds ago.
"Yeah, we heard noises." George added. "So we came to investigate. I mean, Penelope's a nice girl, and we wouldn't want Percy here taking advantage or anything." Oliver started laughing, causing Percy to glare ferociously at him. Penelope was a sensitive subject; even Oliver had to be careful.
"Well it wasn't Penelope, was it? As if I'd do that to her!" Percy snapped. Fred grinned,
"But you'd do it to Oliver?"
Oliver laughed again, throwing an arm around Percy's shoulder. "Of course he would!" Fred and George stared, this time beyond shocked. Percy managed a smirk, before joining Oliver in utter hysterics.
"Oh, you two! Can't you tell when you've been had?" Oliver wheezed. Next to him Percy had fallen over from laughing too hard. "Here, hand me that camera. I need this moment on tape!"
"Hold on," Fred said while absentmindedly handing over the camera, "I don't get the joke. How did this get turned on us?"
"Seriously Fred, did you think we wouldn't be a little suspicious of a letter like that on April Fool's day?" Oliver delightfully filmed the twins as they went over their plan in their heads.
"So you met up and decided to get revenge on us by pretending to really be in love with each other?" George asked. Percy nodded. "Oh, well then, you did a grand job. You had me fooled. What about you Fred?"
"Oh yes, completely hoodwinked. Nearly had a heart attack when you disappeared under the branch."
"And those kissing noises were very convincing. Back of the hand?"
"Yes, actually." said Percy. He watched as the twins slowly backed away, thinking that they had gotten off pretty lightly.
"Well, I'd love to stay and chat some more, but Fred and I are late for Quidditch practice, as are you, Mr Wood, so we'll be off now." George rambled.
"Yes, see you boys later. Cheerio!" Fred added, and then the twins all but sprinted back to the castle. Percy and Oliver watched them go.
"Still going to hex them?" Oliver asked.
"When they least expect it." Percy beamed. Oliver cheerfully turned the camera off and clapped Percy on the back.
"See you later, Perce."
"Bye Oliver. Work their socks off in practice, won't you?"
"Of course." Oliver grinned and set off for the Quidditch pitch. As he walked, he made a mental note never to let himself be sucked into an April Fool's prank like that again. He wasn't sure he'd survive it if he did.
END! Reviews, criticisms and general comments are very welcome. I reply to every one as best I can!