Part IV. Past Life
"You are still beautiful. And more importantly, you will soon be well." Shannon swung around surprised, a lock of damp hair clinging to the side of her face, and instinctively hitched the towel higher at the sound of his deep accented voice. She furrowed her brow and regarded him suspiciously, preparing to snap at him for lying to her, but she stopped herself.
"I need to tell you something. It's important."
"Shannon, you should rest now. You need your strength."
She gathered her clean clothes and they walked back to her bed, but she was determined to be completely honest with him. "I'm okay. It's important. Please just listen, okay?"
Her voice seemed to take on strength this time, as she reinforced her point. "I want you to know how much it means to me that you believe in me."
She swallowed and then smiled weakly before continuing. "My dad used to believe in me, but he was the only one. My mom died of cancer when I was a baby, so it was just us two for a long time. Before Boone and his mom…Sabrina…. I told you, remember?" she asked, remembering that romantic night by the campfire when she last revealed her past to him, neither of them knowing it was to be Boone's last night.
Sayid tenderly kissed her hand. "I remember," he replied, not quite understanding the direction her story was taking, but remembering that night all too well. "I remember everything you tell me." He smiled warmly.
She returned the smile, flashing even white teeth, and continued. "We had money, or Dad did, but I didn't know we were rich when I was little. I didn't care. He liked to buy me things. He looked so proud when he made me happy, and I was happy. He loved me. I think I reminded him of her… Mom; he looked at me sometimes, like really happy, and said she would've loved me too, because we were so much alike.
"One time he bought me this dress. A tutu. I was only like, five. It twirled when I spun around, and I liked it, so I wore it all the time. I decided to be a dancer then. I knew all my life what I'd be – I'm stubborn like that," she smiled warmly, her eyes crinkling and shining at the memory.
"I got this internship to teach at this really prestigious dance school. There was a one in three thousand chance, but I worked so hard and I finally got it…." Her lips trembled with the suppression of tears. "But Dad died. Sabrina hated me. She knew how much he loved me, and I think maybe because I reminded him of my mom, she resented me, and cut me off when it hurt the most" she explained slowly, softly. "I suddenly didn't have any money, or anyone who believed in me, or any way to do what was so important… and I was so close."
Cold tears coursed down Shannon's clammy cheeks. Sayid pressed her tightly into his shoulder, cupping her neck with one hand and stroking her back soothingly with the other. He hated that he could feel her anguish so acutely. He was not sure when that had happened, but he found that he always could lately.