To dmitchell: That's the exact reason I started this fic - after seeing AOTC, my friend and I stayed up the rest of the night plotting out a story that could have been much better. I hope you continue to like it! To Lord Fell: Don't worry! Anakin will get what he's got coming to him. But unfortunately, I knew poor Mace had to go at some point and I felt that his departure in ROTS did not do him enough justice. To the rest of my readers, I greatly appreciate all comments made. Enjoy the next chapter!
13
Padmé Amidala stood at her window in the Alderaanian royal palace. In the distance she could make out the faint outline of the mountains that were far off. No matter what she did, it seemed the twins inside her were discontent. More than any other day that she could remember, they were constantly kicking and twisting, sometimes violently, causing her pain. All day long her stomach had been ill at ease, making eating almost impossible.
She knew the end was near. If these two were not born soon, she would go insane if she had to endure another day like this. No amount of soothing – whether from herself or the Force – would calm the two babies. As if to make things worse, one of them struggled in response to the movement of the other, almost making a competition out of who could squirm most.
Giving up trying to calm them, Padmé decided that trying to calm herself was best. Perhaps if she were at ease then they would settle down. No matter how she tried, she could not quiet her mind.
Two days had passed since Mace Windu left. From what Obi-Wan told her, he went after Anakin.
For a brief flash, Padmé felt furious at the Jedi Master for not telling her where Anakin was. Of anyone, she deserved most to know where he was, if he was safe.
When she inquired as to why Mace suddenly left, the look Obi-Wan gave her did not make her feel better.
Something was wrong with Anakin.
She knew it.
He was alive, that much she was positive about. But even she could not ignore the increasing sense that something was wrong – and not in a dangerous sense. Something about Anakin had changed drastically. Padmé did not know what it was, but she knew that if she were allowed to see him just one more time she would be able to chase away whatever bothered him.
It was a simple matter, really. There were no great tricks of the Force needed. The Jedi were wrong, just as Anakin said. Right now, all he needed was one small thing, a four-letter word:
Love.
Padmé did not pretend to know much about love, having grown up in politics all her life. Falling in love was something she and Anakin discovered together. With his being a Jedi, he knew little. However naïve she was, Padmé knew that what she and Anakin had was, in fact, love.
That and she knew, even as a small child, that love made the galaxy bearable. It sounded corny, she knew.
Anakin…
The simple thought of his name ignited such a fury in her that she almost punched her fist through the window.
I should be there instead! But no, the Jedi make me stay here, they keep me from him…
She grasped the sill so tightly her knuckles went white. Her breath came fast and short.
They've always been against you.
Padmé's first instinct was to turn around and throttle Barriss Offee for – for –
She didn't know what. Gasping for breath, she sank forward, putting all her weight against the wall. Inside her, both of the twins were kicking desperately, trying to tell their mother to calm down – they were being drowned in pressure –
They've always been against you.
The thought ran through her mind again, almost stronger than the first. Another wave of pure fury hit Padmé, making her cry out.
"Padmé?" Barriss Offee called tentatively. Upon hearing no reply, she came into the bedroom. "Padmé? Are you alright?"
"Anakin…" Padmé managed to gasp. Something was very wrong with him. The anger, the fear she felt rolling through her belonged not to her, but to him.
"Anakin…please…"
"Padmé?" Barriss knelt down next to her, as she had sunk to the floor. To herself she muttered, when Padmé gave no answer, "Oh blazes…"
She turned to the entrance of the room, and gathering as much of the Force as she could, she screamed out into the sitting room, "OBI-WAN!"
Putting her attention back on Padmé she put one hand on her shoulder, the other on the Queen's back. Summoning all the calm she had, she urged it to Padmé, willing her to be still.
Padmé, on the other hand, noticed none of this. She was only conscious of the thoughts running through her head, feeling only the intense anxiety of the twins. Her mind felt like it was going to cave in, and her heart felt like it was going to explode. All the time she tried to keep one thought in her mind's eye.
And the pressure.
She had to protect the children from this; it was terrible to subject them to such raw anger at their age.
"Please…the children…Anakin…I love you…"
She let the words out with her last breath, and the world faded from view. Everything went black, and she could not even hear Barriss screaming at the top of her lungs for Obi-Wan to get in here, someone please get some medical droids here fast, did they not understand this was an emergency – !
The next few days passed in a haze for Padmé. She remembered nothing of it later, spending most of her time in a troubled, semi-conscious state. Whenever someone entered the room, she turned to glance at them, but recognized no one.
Medical droids bustled about her, trying to figure out what was wrong with her. After the first day, they gave up and settled for keeping an eye on her. To them, there was nothing wrong.
Obi-Wan knew better.
Droids just did not understand the subtleties of life – they were blind, deaf, and dumb to the Force.
Right now, he knew, they were watching a pregnant woman, carrying two very Force-sensitive children, react to a strong dose of the worst poison:
Anger.
Hate.
Fear.
They festered inside Anakin, and now it had leeched into Padmé. Obi-Wan had an idea of what might help her, but her current condition was dangerous for the twins. Once he tried to tell her that the medical droids might have to operate, bring the children into the world.
This was the one time that Padmé seemed fully aware of her surroundings.
In a freak moment of sudden clarity, she reached up and grabbed hold of the front of his robes with such ferocity it startled him. Jaw clenched, Padmé whispered through her teeth what he should name the twins if she were not able to do it herself. As soon as she said the two names she let go of him and sank back into her pillows, muttering Anakin's name.
Obi-Wan nearly burst out in tears watching her at that moment.
A couple days later, the twins were born. Everyone hoped that Padmé would be aware enough recognize her children. The cries of her healthy twins did not stir her from her delusioned state. Obi-Wan was present at their birth, and did as he was bidden. The two children were given the names that Padmé wished them to have.
The thrumming blue lightsaber instantly vanished. With a grim look, its owner clipped it to his belt and turned away from the scene. This was a nasty affair and at the rate he was going, it would take a long time to be finished. But it had to be done.
Of all the ten thousand Jedi in the galaxy, he was the one that understood.
He was the true Jedi – not afraid of the power that the Force provided. The Jedi would come after him if they knew the truth of him; they were too narrow-minded to understand the power he now had at his control. Only by starting anew would there be true knowledge of the Force.
Walking back to his starfighter, the Dark Jedi forced himself to forget the details of the recent duel. That was the easiest thing to do, and it kept the other part of him quiet. After all, the things he had done over the past week were not things that would do well to be remembered. Thinking about them wore away at the soul, put the mind in agony.
Not that his mind could have been in worse shape. Having two different identities rooted in two different ideologies did nothing for his mental health.
Sometimes, in the deep recesses of hyperspace, memories would come back to him, from Anakin. He could picture himself being happy with his mother on Tatooine. He could remember moments where Obi-Wan was the greatest, wisest Jedi and he was lucky to have him as his Master. There were times that he was in awe of the Jedi, and of all the progress he made studying under their guidance. Here and there, happy memories about Padmé taunted him.
So long now had he been drowning in this mental quagmire that everything else seemed to belong to a different Anakin. Ever since the duel with Mace, Anakin battled another – the Dark Jedi that was unleashed inside him. At first he had no name, no identity, and then in a moment of utter horror, it had one.
It pledged its allegiance to the Emperor, devoting his life to serving the New Order.
Anakin knew he had to keep the identity of this new Dark Jedi secret. This other side always whispered other thoughts in the corner of his mind, things with which Palpatine would agree very much.
And sometimes Anakin found it very hard not to listen to the reasoning of this other side. The suave arguments that came out of this part of him, justifying his actions, seemed so believable, proving almost impossible to refute.
No matter how desperate the situation got, Anakin still had one weapon against this other side, this Dark Jedi that took over him. It loathed memories of Padmé – for it lived off anger and hatred, and love was the one thing it could not stand. It tried to stamp out any semblance of love, only to be beaten back by Anakin's love for Padmé. As long as he had Padmé, he would love her, and as long as he loved her, Anakin could plague the Dark Jedi sharing his mind.
Sitting in his starfighter, he leaned forward. Anakin reached out to the Force, trying to find Padmé. It took him almost no time to sense her presence.
Padmé.
Her name rang as a single thought in his head. Just her simple name, the one thing that made everything seem alright in the galaxy –
Padmé.
Her name came to his mind again, this time with more intensity. Something was wrong with her. Without understanding why, Anakin knew that she was enduring something physically difficult. He reached out to the Force to find her, and suddenly she was right there, in a way she hadn't been for months.
In that single second, all the confusion cleared. Anakin gasped for breath, the shock of the revelation hitting him hard.
She was pregnant.
Never before in his life did Anakin feel as stupid as he did in this moment. All the questions, all the changes, all the suspicions. It all made sense. She did not tell him because she wanted to protect him.
Anakin tried to get his mind around the simple fact that he was now a father.
A father. Incredible.
His child would have chances that he never got, having been born where the Jedi would find him early in life. A world of opportunities opened up before Anakin. Not since he was told he was going with Qui-Gon to become a Jedi had he felt such pride and hope.
Hands shaking, and back in control of himself for the moment, Anakin powered up his starfighter. He now had one single goal. Whatever the cost, he had to find Padmé.
Reching out to the Force, he tried to find Padmé. All he could sense was a faint glimmer of her, nothing strong enough to tell him where she was. One thing Anakin picked up very easily: wherever Padmé was, Obi-Wan was with her. In the back of his mind, he could hear the dark one laughing at him.
Of course – it thought Padmé was a foolish notion. But one thing it understood very well was Obi-Wan.
He's the source of all your problems. You know it. By finding him, we can both get what we want…the dark spot thought.
Anakin shook his head to clear the voice.
No. Obi-Wan is with her. I have to find him, to find her. I'm doing this for what I want, not you, Anakin told himself, willing the darkness inside him to stay quiet. I have to find her. I love her.
The dark one laughed. You still have much to learn. I know more about you – us – than you do. We always get what we want in the end.
To be continued...