Story # 4

He felt her weight being lifted from the bedside as she moved to get up and leave, and it was then that his fifth realization hit him. It was time to face the truth. Or at least, now was as good a time as any.

Pretending to be just waking up he stirred a little and then slowly opened his eyes to find Teri looking at him. A little worried, a little concerned, a little smiling. Just like he had imagined. After all these years of marriage there wasn't an inch of her face he didn't know, not a single expression he hadn't seen yet. Unfortunately, the look she gave him now had become too much of a companion.

"Good morning," she said, holding the coffee mug with both hands in her lap.

"Is it still morning?" he asked.

"Barely. You slept like a stone."

"Yeah, I was really tired."

"But you're off today, right?"

"Yeah," he smiled weakly.

"Great," she seemed a bit happier at this. "Now, I made you breakfast. Maybe we could go somewhere later. You want to take a shower first?"

"No," he said, sitting up in bed. "Teri. There's something…we need to talk about." He had to tell her. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do about it, but there was no way he could keep it from her. Not if he wanted his marriage to work, and nor if he wanted to be with Nina. Right now he was just confused.

"Okay," she nodded, clearly trying not to seem worried.

He cleared his throat, insecure how to start. Just say how it is, tell her straight out. She wouldn't like it, not at all, and maybe she would kick him out again right away. And maybe that was just what he wanted. The least it would do was to take the burden of decision-making off his shoulders. But that wasn't who he was, was it? Just tell her, he barked at himself. She deserves to know the truth in any way.

"After you…" he started but corrected himself quickly. "When I had moved out - I…I was seeing someone."

She was hurt. It was obvious in her face as she just kept looking at him. But if he had expected her to be shocked he had clearly been mistaken. He didn't know how to go on.

"I can't say that surprises me," she sighed after a while. "I was afraid something like that was going to happen."

He swallowed.

"I was hoping it wouldn't," she added quickly, "but yeah, I knew it could happen."

Then why did you kick me out? he couldn't help but think.

"I'm so sorry, Teri. I never wanted any of this to happen."

"Me neither, Jack. It wasn't what I imagined when I married you or when we had Kim." She sighed, looking around the room while talking, her gaze brushing over photographs and pictures, neatly arranged on the nightstand and the commode. "I knew we were going to run into trouble eventually, every couple does. But I would never have thought it would come this far."

Neither had he. And he was surprised to see her smile the next moment when her eyes returned to him.

"But we pulled through, Jack. I mean, we're still here. Or again. We made it."

His heart felt heavier in his chest and he couldn't bear her smiling at him. Not with the thought of Nina on his mind and what he had to confess to Teri. That she wasn't just someone he had been seeing for a while. He had thought so long enough, but now the truth had caught up with him. And if he wanted to find out what to do about it, if he wanted to sort this whole mess out, he had to talk to both of them. Starting with Teri seemed only fair.

"Look, Teri," he struggled for the strength and the right words. "This person I was seeing…she…"

"Jack," she cut him off, shaking her head at him. "It's okay. I mean, I'm not thrilled about it, but I also realize that I was the one who asked you to leave. And whatever you did during that time – it doesn't matter now. It's in the past. The only thing that matters is what we do now, from this point on."

He stared at her. No…I mean, wait… He wanted to interrupt her, to tell her she was getting it all wrong, that it wasn't that simple. But he couldn't bring himself to say anything, his voice suddenly failing him completely.

"We're a family again now." Her smile widened with every word. "I can't tell you how miserable I was when you were gone, how many times I wanted to pick up the phone and ask you to come back."

Then why didn't you? Why hadn't she – before he had discovered his feelings for Nina.

"Or how happy I am now that you are." She lowered her eyes, staring at the coffee she was still clasping in her lap. "I know there's still a lot of stuff we need to deal with. Things I need to accept, things you need to reconsider. But, Jack, I know we can do it. I know it will work out. Because I won't let anything come between us again. I won't let anything split up this family again."

It felt like someone had tossed a sling around his chest and was pulling at the ends of the rope now, with such force it threatened to suffocate him. She seemed so happy.

"Kim's happy too," Teri smirked. "She sure has her own way of showing it but I know she is. She missed you, Jack."

He blinked, reliving the moment he had walked in with his bag over his shoulder. You're back! Kim really had been happy although she had quickly wiped the joy off her face and pretended she didn't care that much.

"Just like I missed you."

He stared down into his lap.

"Didn't you miss us too?"

Of course he had. How could he not have missed them. And he would have given anything to hear those words from Teri in the first few weeks, to have her ask him to come back. But then… He still couldn't really put his finger on when or how things had changed so quickly. He had been working with Nina for years, had seen her on a daily basis, found comfort in her company, confided in her regarding most things - but never in the way he did now. It was as if he one day had just met her again but at the same time for the very first time.

"Of course I did," he said, not daring to look up yet though. "Of course I missed you."

Nina. When he had met Teri for the first time, all those years ago, back when they were still so young, he had instantly felt that she was right for him. That they were somehow completing each other. And he had never expected to feel that way for anyone else. But what he felt for Nina – it was different, sure, but it wasn't less intense. It wasn't less real.

"Then what is it?" Teri asked, tilting her head and looking at him questioningly.

What is it? He sighed inwardly. It's not meant to be. He guessed it was just not meant to be. Teri was right. They were a family. They had made a commitment, he had made a commitment. He couldn't just squirm himself out of it now. Not with Kim being there, not with Teri obviously so happy about all of them being together again. He couldn't. And it would pass. His feelings for Nina would pass.

"It's…" he stammered, blinking once more, blinking the thought of Nina away. "I'm just not good at this."

She smiled.

"I'm happy too," he declared. "And you're right – it will work out. We will make it work."