EPILOGUE
It's been fifty-two years to the day since we became a couple, and five years since you died. I still forget that you're gone, sometimes. A week ago I saw this school kid who looked exactly like Xander in the first year I met him, and I turned to point him out to you only to remember that you weren't beside me anymore. Those are the worst moments; when I believe you're still alive, only to lose you all over again when reality comes crashing back. I sometimes wonder whether my heart can take any more grief. I seem to feel a constant ache in my chest these days. The doctor says it's just old age, but I'm not so sure. Growing old has never slowed me down before.

I left the house this morning, as I have every day for the past four years, as the sun peered over the mountain. This time, however, my sore, stiff hip required me to employ the help of a walking-stick. I made my ways down the stone steps; walking-stick first, left foot next, and then my right. Shuffling down the pebbled pathway, I inhaled the fresh, tangy salt air and was glad of the sun's warm rays as they pushed away the crisp iciness of the morning. The garden comes next, and it seems a lot more difficult to pass through than I recall. The earth feels more uneven, the small hills steeper, the trees more compacted, and the approaching grove further away.

I am getting old. Maybe my doctor is right. The sun disappears as I enter the wood, but the forecast is a warm, humid day, and its accuracy is already evident. I find the path we made without even looking. I know that I could find it at night, or with my eyes closed. Memories flood back to me as I walk along the beaten path. I glance at the tree root you tripped over that time, and see the remains of the makeshift tree-house we used one night to evade an ambush. I can almost hear you laughing, almost feel your hand hovering just inches from mine.

It takes me thirty minutes to reach the spot we buried you. It's only twenty feet from the beach, a circle of ancient logs that we believed were trees felled by lighting. The strange burn marks on the fallen trunks are almost arrows to your grave. Hidden inside a triangle made by three logs, all touching one another, a slight mound of dirt can be seen. At the top of the mound, etched into the side of the log in perfect symmetry, reads: FAITH, NEVER TO BE FORGOTTEN. Beneath that, in smaller, rougher script, is: F4B.

I remember when you wrote the smaller message the first time we found this spot. It was barely a month after defeating the First. We came out here to escape the bustle of cleaning the cottage. Do you remember how horrified Giles seemed about the state of our home? His expression was priceless. I miss him. I always thought I would be lost without Giles' guidance and support; you were there, though, so I could always find my way.

I trace the etching with my finger tips, and lay the flowers I picked along the path onto your grave. I sit down in the dirt and rest my back against the log. I stay like this for a long time, thinking of you, and when I finally stir the sun has reached its pinnacle in the sky. Sunlight streams into your final resting place. I know that I haven't got much time left, and I think about seeing you again more often these days. So many times I've thought of ending it just to be with you, but I cannot. There's still too much to live for.

Dawn's first grandchild just started high-school this week. Little Jessie- who's not so little anymore- looked adorable in her oversized blazer and stiff uniform. Dawn's son just got promoted, which means he gets to travel and visit us more often. And Dawn's still being my annoying little sister, but I'm happy that she still lives with me. We actually fought over a horrid peach lipstick before realizing we both hated it anyway. David wants her to move closer to their daughter soon, but I think she's holding out until I go, and I'm grateful.

Xander's family continues to grow unbelievably fast; his second daughter just had her third child. Xander's wife tells me he's the same with all their grandchildren. He hugs and whispers to the newborn for hours, and his daughter had to kick him out of the baby's room so she could sleep. Willow hasn't been the same since her girlfriend Laura died last year. She seeks comfort in her magic, and Xander and I don't have the heart to remind her of the dangers of mixing grief and magic. She and Xander still visit me monthly; those times when it's just the three of us can make me almost believe we're still in high school. If I close my eyes and listen to the jokes, bantering and gossip I can almost feel young, naïve and invincible again.

I don't want to be alone anymore.

I know Dawn and David will soon begin to look out for me from the cottage, so I rise awkwardly to my feet. My hip is in agony from sitting in the same position for so long, but I wince once and ignore it. I'm still a Slayer, albeit a retired one, and pain will always be a factor in my life, just as death and grief and darkness have always been. But you showed me how to see the better side of the world. You showed me how to enjoy life, how to flow with it, how to face it with brazen courage and live it. That is why I cannot join you yet.

I'm still living.

As I walk away from you once again, I glance over my shoulder and smile.

F4B

… Never to be forgotten.

THE END
So that's it… The end of "Creed" has finally come and I'm feeling a bit nostalgic already. I just wanted to thank Rylee for her amazing beta work on this project; if it wasn't for her this story would have been receiving flames instead of the wonderful reviews you guys sent me. I also want to give a shout out to Vana for stepping in and beta-ing during Rylee's absence. Her hard work gave me the chance to post my chapters quickly instead of waiting months.

And finally, I'd like to thank every one of my wonderful readers who reviewed loyally each update. You rock! And just 'cuz I can, a little plugging for my other work… Keep an eye out for three new stories that are in progress at the moment. One's a Buffy/Harry Potter crossover, there's a Lord of the Rings fic and finally a Pirates of the Caribbean story.

That's it from me… Toodles!