Well, here it is. After an eternal hiatus and many travels, a new story is out.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never could be mine; Kishimoto will always have Naruto
Can I See?
Sometimes, she wonders what would happen if she tried to look through her eyes when they were closed. Would she be able to? Would she see nothing? Maybe she would actually see the inside of her eyelids. She remembers children doing that. Closing their eyes and making up stories about what they could see.
She never tried. Even when she sleeps, she keeps her eyes open until she can't, but by that point she can't remember if she couldn't see, or if she still could.
She knows that those other children couldn't see anything. They were just making up stories. She knows this, and they knew this. There was nothing behind those eyes when they were closed.
She likes to think that a person can't see when they close their eyes because the eyes need to rest, because eyes can't possibly see all the time.
Of course, eyes don't normally see through everything anyways, but her eyes do.
That's why she's afraid to try. If she doesn't know, then she can continue to hope. Hope that somehow she can be without, hopes that for a short while she can be conscious of it without actually seeing anything.
It's the story of her life really. She never tries, so that she can continue to hope.
Because the one thing she does know is that her hopes always fail.
This hope though, she doesn't want to fail. She needs this hope, that someday she can just close her eyes for longer than a single blink, and will be able to see nothing. That for once, the blood that failed her will fail her in the one way that she wants.
If it's true, and her blood fails her in this one thing, then she won't complain. It would be a relief. Too many times have her eyes widened in fear at past events. But she doesn't fear those past events. She has long learned that fate is inescapable. She only fears not being able to block out the vision of that fate.
Yet, strangely, she still hopes. She still hopes that her fate is something she can change.
But really, she'll settle for not being able to see. She'll settle for being able to close her eyes and not being able to see anything.
She'll settle for not being able to see a sister's contempt, a father's disappointment, a cousin's scorn, and a mirror's shame.
But she won't try it. If she tried and failed (like she always does), then there will be nothing left.
It is on such fragile hopes that she rests her fate. As long as she is able to hope that something is possible, and as long as she never tries, then that hope will never be broken.
With that hope she will never be broken. But she already is.
Owari
What did you all think?