Disclaimer: Power Rangers... Disney. Story... mine.
Ashley Hammond/Astro Yellow: Yeah, you actually had to read it. :P Isn't Andros just so sweet?
Jenny: I love writing Andros as so incredibly sweet and perfect. :P Yay, you've got no school. That means you can write. :P
Chapter 16
"Ash?"
"Andros, don't," she whispered, the tone of his voice telling her that she didn't want to hear whatever it was he had to say. She tried to burrow her face deeper into his neck to block out his words completely, but he refused to let her, and stepped back.
"I won't make you do anything," he assured her quietly, settling himself on the ground and motioning for her to do the same. She did; hesitantly, watching him warily. "Just listen to me for a minute, all right?"
"Okay," she muttered, her eyes dropping away from his. "What are you not going to make me do?"
"Last night, I was talking to your brother," he told her softly, his eyes never leaving her. "He knows that whatever you haven't told him, you've told me. He wanted to know-"
"You didn't tell him?" she cried. "Please, say you didn't!"
If Andros felt any annoyance at her accusation, he kept it bottled up inside of himself, and simply shook his head. "I promised you I'd never tell anyone, and I never will," he said calmly, the evenness of his tone warring with the sadness upon his face. He exhaled slowly before adding, "Even if I regret making that promise more than anything I've ever done."
"Andros, I-"
He shook his head and she fell silent, not knowing what she had been about to say. "I can't force you to go to the police, Ash. I just think that you need to, and your brother does too. Jeff wanted me to ask you what you would do if this happened to someone else."
Ashley bit her lip anxiously. "I thought of that," she admitted. "But it was just me... and after Tawny was born, he never... he never touched me again. He doesn't know that I can't have more children... he wouldn't have stopped if he did."
"Then he still needs to pay for what he did to you," he told her quietly. "I want you here, Ash, but you can't keep yourself and Tawny prisoner."
Ashley sighed. "There were so many times when I almost told Jeff, but I just... I'd already lost my mother. I didn't want to lose my brother too."
"You won't," Andros said, giving her fingers a gentle squeeze. "I talked to him last night, Ash, and I promise you, he'll believe whatever you tell him. He loves both of you."
Ashley nodded. "I know I need to tell him. I know I should have told someone a long time ago, but it was so much easier just to pretend that everything was all right."
"I know it was," Andros said. "But you can't keep yourself a prisoner here forever. He's the one who should be locked up, Ash, not you and your daughter."
She sighed. "I've just started to understand that."
"As long as you understand it," Andros said gently. "You didn't do anything wrong, and neither did Tawny."
Ashley smiled faintly. "I don't think Tawny's done anything wrong in her life."
He laughed softly at that. "She's like her mother, then."
"I'm not perfect, Andros," she said sharply.
"No," Andros agreed. "You're not. You're just sweet and caring and understanding enough that you don't have to be."
"I love you," she whispered suddenly, her arms locking around his neck in a death grip.
"And I love you," he assured her, raising one hand to brush his fingers slowly over her cheek, praying she wouldn't shrink away. When she didn't flinch, he began to stroke her hair gently, savoring the sensation of the silky strands beneath his calloused fingers.
Ashley allowed herself to nuzzle a bit closer to him, the sense of safety that accompanied just being held in his arms overwhelming, and downright frightening. As if sensing her silent fear, Andros loosened the hold he had on her just a smidgen and he stopped playing with her hair.
"Andros?" she said. "I'll go, as soon as I talk to Jeff."
He exhaled slowly with relief. "I was hoping you'd say that."
"Would you... come with me?" she whispered suddenly. His body stiffened against hers, and she was quick to add, "Only if you want to, I mean. I know you don't want to hear all that again."
"No more than you want to tell it again," he said softly, pressing his lips to the top of her head, inhaling the familiar sweet scent of her hair with a trace of guilt. "If you want me there, I won't leave you."
"Thank you," she mumbled, groaning softly as she suddenly realized that there was something she had so far avoided mentioning. "Um, Andros?"
"What's wrong?" he asked gently, recognizing her tone of voice, although he really, really wished that he hadn't. He sighed. "Just tell me, Ash."
"It's nothing bad," Ashley was quick to assure him, although he never would have guessed it from the look on her face. "There's just something you need to understand."
He nodded slowly, unable to take his eyes off of her, though he felt that he should. "What is it, Ash?"
"I put a lot of effort into pretending that nothing was wrong," Ashley said slowly, watching his face anxiously to see if he saw where she was going, but he only stared back at her calmly. "When I came home again, I made myself do everything that I had always done... and I'd always had lots of boyfriends, so I..."
"Oh," Andros said, his eyes widening with understanding. Then the full meaning behind her words hit home, and his face filled with hurt. "Even me?"
"Yes," she admitted, wanting nothing more than to just wipe that sad look off of his face. He looked away, and she sighed, continuing in a much softer tone. "But by the time I met you, I was almost used to it all, the pretending, I mean, and you... you were different, Andros."
Her voice had suddenly become plaintive, and Andros shot her a sharp glance. Her eyes were wide and earnest, leaving him unable to doubt that she was telling him the truth... but it still hurt.
"Was I?"
Ashley nodded instantly, a small smile forming on her lips. "Maybe it was because I knew I was safe here, or maybe it was because you didn't want anything to do with me at first, but... I knew that you weren't like anyone I'd ever met before, or anyone I was ever going to meet."
"Are you still pretending?"
He couldn't keep himself from asking, but when the expression on Ashley's face suddenly matched his own, Andros wished that he'd kept his mouth shut. Ashley shook her head, slowly reaching for his hands as she raised her face to meet his eyes.
"I tried to ask you out," she said, her voice no louder than a whisper. "I was the one who kissed you first. The time I spent with you, it was because I wanted to spend time with you."
Andros sighed, and nodded, knowing in his heart that what she told him was true, and besides that, there was absolutely nothing that he couldn't forgive her for. "When?"
"When what?"
"When did you stop pretending?"
She hesitated, toying with the ends of her hair anxiously as she contemplated what answer to give. "Do you really want to know?"
Andros nodded his head. "I really want to know."
"When I realized I loved you," she whispered.
"When was that?" he asked softly, briefly squeezing the fingers still resting on his. Ashley looked extremely reluctant to answer his question and he added quietly, "Please?"
"All right," she muttered, looking away as she began to speak, but a small smile had formed on her face.
"Andros?" she called softly, her voice carrying through the darkness that threatened to entomb the both of them in his room.
"Go away," he answered dully. The instant his voice reached her ears, she only became even more determined to remain with him until she knew what was bothering him.
"You've been in here all day," she remarked, carefully working her way across the floor to his bed. Settling herself down beside him, she groped about blindly for his hand. He practically yanked his fingers out of hers and rolled over, facing away from her completely. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing you need to know about," he said cooly. "Ashley, please, just leave me alone."
His voice had softened, becoming more pleading, more desperate, and she sighed. If he truly wanted to be alone in this awful darkness, she supposed she had no right to intrude into his private space, however wrong it felt to leave his side when he was so obviously hurting.
"Do you really want me to go?" she asked, her heart aching for him. Before she could think better of it, she'd reached out to him, laying her hand on his shoulder. He tensed noticably, but before she could apologize, his fingers were gripping hers painfully.
"No," he whispered hoarsely, trembling. Without a second throught, she scooted forward, laying down beside him. He rolled over again to face her and in the few seconds before he pulled her into a bone crushing hug, she thought she heard him stifle a sob.
"What's wrong?" she asked again, silently pleading with him to stop pushing her away. It had only been two weeks ago that he'd worked up the courage to ask her out on a date, but she wasn't sure that she could live without him any longer.
"Karone," he mumbled. "She... she's Astronema."
Shocked beyond words, she could only hold him close as he continued to shake, always on the verge of tears, but refusing to let go enough to allow himself to cry.
"Does she know?" she managed to ask once she had recovered her voice.
"I don't know," he whispered, clinging to her as if she were a lifeline, and just maybe she was. "If she does, she doesn't care."
"I think she does," she told him. "Just give her some time, Andros. She'll remember."
"What if she never does?" He sounded lost, and for that she couldn't blame him. "I can't fight her anymore, Ash. She's my little sister now, not Astronema."
"She will remember," she said firmly. "You're her brother. She'll never forget you."
"What if I'd killed her?" he wondered, her words not registering. "What if I'd hurt her? If I'd hurt Karone-"
"But you didn't," she interrupted before he had the chance to go any further. "And you're not going to. Just trust me, Andros. Everything will be okay."
"No," he cried. "This was my fault! I shouldn't have left her!"
"You were six years old," she began, attempting in vain to convince him that he wasn't responsible for the loss of his sister, but Andros wasn't listening.
"It was my fault," he repeated. "I was twenty feet away. I should have saved her."
"Darkonda would have killed you," she protested, alarmed by the anger in his tone. "Andros, you couldn't have done anything."
"There had to have been something I could have done," he insisted weakly. "They told me so."
"Who told you so?" she demanded.
"My- my parents," he whispered, his voice breaking. "They blamed me."
"Andros..."
"They did," he cried out desperately. "Don't tell me that they didn't because you don't know!"
"Then let me in," she pleaded softly. "Please, Andros, let me help you."
"I can't," he whispered, sounding absolutely terrified.
"And why not?" she demanded gently, stroking his hair in an attempt to comfort him. His hair was surprisingly soft, and the strands slid smoothly through her fingers. Andros had stiffened at her touch, but Ashley didn't pull her hand away, and gradually, his body relaxed against hers.
"I'll lose you if I do," he mumbled quietly enough for her to wonder if she hadn't imagined his words. When he began trembling again, she knew that he had in fact spoken, and she tightened her embrace, wondering why her heart was aching so badly.
"You'll never lose me," she promised him softly. "Never."
"You don't mean that," he said uncertainly. "You can't mean that."
"And why not?" she challenged him.
"You just can't," he cried.
"But I do mean it," she told him evenly. "Andros, do you trust me?"
"Yes," he confessed quietly. "I do. But Ashley-"
He fell silent as her fingers suddenly pressed gently against his lips. "Andros, you don't have to tell me anything that you don't want to tell me," she began. "But if you do, just trust me when I say that I'll still... I'll still care about you. Always."
He hesitated, but she didn't notice over the furious thudding of her own heart. Love. She'd almost told him that she loved him. And what was more, she realized that she did.
How had this happened, she wondered, clinging to Andros instinctively as tears he had successfully kept in for years suddenly fought their way out. The force of his grip left her nearly unable to breathe, but when he began sobbing quietly, she found that she didn't care.
When had she let down her guard? How had she not realized that she'd done so? But more importantly, what was she going to do about it? There was no denying any longer that Andros had become one of the two most important people in her life practically the instant she'd first laid eyes on him. The more she was with him, the more she wanted to always be with him, no matter where that led her.
"Ashley?" he asked, his voice wavering up and down as he struggled to bring himself under control.
"It's all right," she murmured in his ear, feeling the neckline of her shirt dampened with his tears. "Just cry, Andros, if you need to. It'll make you feel better."
"Then why do I feel worse?" he countered, but his head was already lowered. He buried himself in her neck as she began to rub small circles in his back, not letting her hands still until his body had ceased shuddering with sobs.
"Andros?"
"I'm all right," he muttered, making no move to release her, and she didn't want him to.
"Do you feel like talking?" she asked gently, her fingers searching for his.
"No," he mumbled, but then his fingers clamped down over hers, and he began speaking timidly. "My family... we were happy, I think. But after Karone was kidnapped, I... it was my fault!"
"No, Andros," she said gently, startled by his angry outburst. "It wasn't."
"It was," he insisted. "It had to be. Or else why... why would they-"
He choked on his words, and she sighed, giving his fingers a gentle squeeze. "What did they do to you?"
"They... they beat me," he admitted, his shame clear in his voice as he began to shake again. "They said it was because of Karone."
"Andros..."
"No," he cried. "Don't you see? It was my fault! If it wasn't, they wouldn't have had to punish me for it."
"It wasn't your fault, Andros," she said firmly. "No matter what you've been told."
"Then why did they do it?"
"There isn't always a reason," she said darkly, suddenly wondering what would happen if she broke down and poured out her own story to him.
"But..."
"You wish that there had been, don't you?" she said knowingly. "It made it easier, thinking that you had done something to deserve what they were doing to you."
"Yes," he whispered. "How'd you know?"
"It's not important," she said hastily. Now was not the time to spill her own secrets, but somehow, she knew that the right time to do so was approaching more quickly than she realized.
"Would you..." He stopped and hesitated for several minutes before he managed to continue, spitting out the words in a rush. "If I told you what they did to me, would you listen?"
"Yes," she answered without hesitation. "Whenever you're ready."
"Not now," he muttered, sounding completely drained. "I can't."
"It's all right," she murmured soothingly. "Get some sleep, Andros."
"No," he pleaded, catching ahold of her arm. "Don't leave me here alone, please."
He had never sounded more vulnerable than he did now, and it was all she could do to keep herself from bursting into tears herself. He didn't know what he was asking of her, and with him begging her not to go, she didn't have it in her to refuse.
"All right," she agreed, laying back down beside him. "I won't leave you, Andros."
The only response she received was the tightening of Andros's arms around her waist. Eventually, he drifted off into a deep, peaceful sleep, but Ashley lay awake for hours, alarmed by the sense of security brought on by simply being in his arms, and even more alarmed to find that there was nowhere that she would rather be than here, with him, in his bed, in his arms.
"That's when you knew?" Andros asked quietly. Ashley nodded slowly, still pleading softly with him for forgiveness.
He sighed and stared at her for a moment before the faintest hint of a smile appeared on his face. "That's when I knew too," he admitted.
"Really?" He nodded, and Ashley looked at him hopefully. "Forgive me?"
He looked thoughtful for a moment and then he nodded. "On one condition."
"What do you want?" she asked, suddenly fearful of what he would ask from her.
"I want you to stop apologizing."
Ashley actually laughed, her face lighting up. She flung her arms around his neck with enough force to send Andros sprawling onto his back with her on top of him.
"I love you," she whispered fiercely, burying her face in his neck. "I love you so much."
"I love you, Ash," he muttered in her ear, the fingers of his right hand playing with her hair. He hesitated, unsure of whether or not he should sit up. He didn't mind their current positions in the least, and Ashley wasn't seeming to either, but he wasn't entirely sure how much she was aware of at the current moment.
"Ash?"
"Hmm?"
"Can I... can I kiss you?" he asked in a quiet whisper, holding his breath as he waited for her to reply. Ashley pulled back and stared down at him for a moment before slowly nodding her head.
Resisting the urge just to grab her and pull her down on top of him, Andros sat, and then stood, pulling Ashley to her feet as well before slowly leaning in to brush his lips over hers. After a moment, he felt Ashley deepen the kiss just the slightest bit, and he wrapped his arms around her midriff, trying to give her enough room to pull back should she want to. She didn't step away, and they both began to relax, all too happy to lose themselves in that sweet kiss.