Disclaimer—See Chapter One
A/N: It's my birthday! I had to update my profile to say late-twenties now. I'm getting old. :) I'm working on chapter nine at the moment, so am slowly making progress with this story. Still not sure how long this one will be yet, but I'm guessing around 15 chapters or so. Thank you to those sticking with me, I know interest in MX in general is dwindling and it doesn't help that this story is rather wordy and rambling. Sorry about that, I keep meaning to be more concise, but haven't quite accomplished that yet. Thank you to Tunder28, blackpanther, Mxfan214, Mayra, Rain, and Catjerica. I'm so glad you guys are still enjoying it! You make my day and give me the encouragement to keep going, thank you all so much! Angel35, thank you also for your comments! CatJerica, this chapter is for you, since you asked for more "later." :) Audrey, thank you so much for your beautiful gift for this story. You amaze me with your talent! Thank you so much! This is a heavily based B/S chapter, but the team action begins again in the next chapter. (Ana, I tried to give you at least a little J/E in this chapter!) There are again references to episodes 222 and 301 in here as well, although events are again rearranged or changed to fit my plot. I hope you enjoy. Thank you!
Traveling On—Chapter Seven
For the fourth time in as many minutes, Jesse sighed, fingers tapping impatiently against the table. He was tired, sore, and not in the mood to be sitting in front of a computer at the moment.
Emma cast an amused smile at him, easily knowing his thoughts. "Why don't you just admit you're still in pain and get some rest? I can keep working on the decoding sequence you showed me."
"I'm fine." Jesse shrugged, too stubborn to admit anything. "Besides, I'd rather be here with you." He shot her an enduring grin.
"Uh-huh," Emma quirked her brow, grinning back. "You just don't want to be in bed anymore."
"Well, there's that too."
Emma rolled her eyes, laughing; secretly glad he was staying with her. It was late; the rest of their team had already gone to bed.
"So do you really think Haines was telling the truth?" Jesse rubbed his left eyebrow, hand dropping back to the table. "That this list is of names of people and their medical records?"
"Adam seems to think so." Emma reached over, stilling his fingers as they began to drum again. "That's really annoying." She informed him when he looked at her askance.
Jesse turned his hand under hers so that their palms met, closing his fingers around hers, trapping them.
She paused in her work, throwing him a soft smile. She still wasn't quite used to the newness of being together. A simple touch and he had her weak in the knees. After a moment, she cleared her throat, gently disengaging her fingers from his to resume typing. "Without Dr. Haines to tell us more about this list, the decoded segment that Adam managed to download earlier is all we have to go off of." She paused, smiling, when Jesse stood up behind her, hands on her shoulders. "If this really is connected to Dr. Shaw's research, then we need to know who or what is on here."
"Hmm," Jesse wordlessly agreed, distracted by the softness of Emma's skin beneath his fingers as he rubbed them back and forth over the edge of her sleeveless shirt.
"And if this is somehow connected to those super mutants we ran into, then we really need to---oh." Emma paused, gasping softly as Jesse's lips began a slow trail down her neck. She arched into him, words forgotten.
"You were saying?" Jesse teased her after a moment, continuing his onslaught of kisses.
She squirmed slightly in her chair, chuckling breathlessly. "The list…we really…ah, need to know who's on here." She lifted her arms, turning in her chair to face him, pulling his face down to hers none too gently.
Jesse willingly complied, deepening the kiss when she would have pulled back. He smiled to himself when she didn't hesitate, arms rising to circle his neck as he pulled her up and out of the chair and lightly against his body, hiding the wince when his body screamed in painful reminder. He caught his breath, abruptly breaking the kiss, giving her lips another soft nudge before easing back, trying to hide his discomfort.
He should have known better.
Emma made a small distressed sound in the back of her throat, angry at herself for so carelessly forgetting. She helped him sit back down, shaking her head when he hunched over slightly, winded. "Jess—"
"Don't say it," He ground out, teeth clenched as he waited for the stabbing pain to subside. "I'm not going." He could be just as stubborn as the rest of them when he put his mind to something.
"Fine." She plopped back down in her own chair, arms crossed.
"Fine." His shoulders relaxed as the stabbing eased into a slow burn.
Brennan was tired of waiting.
There hadn't been any more bright lights; he hadn't woken up to find himself still in bed.
Fear wrapped itself around his stomach, misty fingers threatening to choke him as it clawed up into his throat. He had found himself in Shalimar's room, Emma's photo album on his knees as he waited.
Nothing was happening.
This was a dream, wasn't it? Impatiently, nervously, he turned the page, sucking in a startled breath when he found it blank, mind flashing back.
Adam.
Emma.
Fallen.
Missing from this world.
He swallowed thickly, shoving the album away from him. If this was a dream, why the hell wasn't he waking up? Was this the future? He groaned, bending low, bracing a hand against the desk. This couldn't be happening. Another groan sounded, and it took him a moment to realize it hadn't come from him. Footsteps, hurried and obscure, pounded past, and he recognized the clicking of Shalimar's boots. She was back. He stuck his head out the door in time to see her disappearing into Emma's room, coat falling heedlessly from her shoulders as she focused on whatever was inside. He waited a moment to see if she would come back, following after her when she didn't.
He reached the open doorway in time to see Shalimar come up behind Jesse. The molecular had his back to them, staring at Emma's neatly made bed. It looked like the psionic had just stepped out for a minute, and he half expected to hear her voice. He did not expect to see Jesse double over and fall to his knees, arms clutching his stomach and a half-strangled groan tearing itself from his throat. Shalimar collapsed beside him, arms wrapping around him, pulling him tight to her body, and he watched, frozen, helpless as they grieved for a death he could not even remember.
It's not real! He wanted to scream at them, fingers clutching hotly to the door frame as knees bowed beneath him. A locked tableau, he had no idea how long he stood there.
When Shalimar finally looked up, silent tears were running down her face. Why? Her expression begged him, why?
"What?" He licked his lips, not realizing he had whispered the word. He stepped forward, a hand on his wrist stopping him.
"They shouldn't have died in the Naxcon explosion."
It was the strange woman again, speaking quietly, holding him back.
As if he didn't have the right to share their grief.
Ignoring the unspoken warning in her eyes, Brennan yanked his wrist free and started forward, stumbling when Shalimar deliberately turned her face away, arms tightening protectively around the broken man in her arms.
Why? Her expression haunted him.
"Try to understand," The woman was speaking again, and the sound of her voice grated in his ears. "If you had just followed up like you should have…"
None of this would have happened.
The words filled his mind without her speaking them.
This time he did fall, knees giving away as he sank to the floor. Shalimar looked up, and her eyes glowed an unearthly light. It blinded him, surrounding him, and he gasped, hands blocking his eyes as the light grew stronger and stronger.
"Brennan."
A hand touched his shoulder, and he winced, shrugging it away.
"Brennan."
The hand persisted again, shaking him, and his eyes suddenly flew open, gasping when Shalimar's concerned face loomed in his vision.
The light was gone.
He sank back onto the pillow, shaking with sweat and relief, turning his face after a moment when Shalimar's hands framed his cheek, calling his name.
"Shal?"
"Yeah, it's ok, I'm here," Her hands soothed him, cool on his sweaty brow. "You were having a nightmare."
He nodded, eyes tightly closed, waiting for the tremors to cease, ashamed when they didn't. He groaned, turning his back to her and pushing himself into a sitting position, the floor mercifully cold beneath his feet. Her hands stubbornly followed him, gentle as she rolled with him, rising on her knees, arms wrapping around him from behind.
"Shh, it's ok."
The sweat cooled on his skin, bringing instead shivers as she pressed into him, softly kissing his bare shoulder. "Shalimar," He growled her name, abruptly turning, clutching fistfuls of her hair with one hand as he brought her face up to his, kissing her with desperation. The kiss quickly turned into something not quite wild, yet not quite tame either. She felt the neediness in him, and responded without hesitation.
"Is this real…are we really here?"
She didn't understand his whispered words, but she understood the pain behind them. She remembered her dreams, glimpses into some of what haunted him. He needed to feel, needed someone to help bring him out of the darkness. She could give him that much. Her mind shut down, and she focused on just the tactile feel of him.
But Brennan suddenly pulled back.
"What?" Her voice was breathless. "What is it?"
"You're not ready for this, Shalimar." His voice was husky, his head inclined towards hers, fingers relaxing their grip on her hair, pushing it behind her ears.
"What?" She could see the blatant hunger in his eyes, could sense the barely controlled need building within. She kissed him again, felt him kiss her back, suddenly angry when he again pulled away. "I didn't see you hesitating all those other times." She leaned up on her knees, towering over his sitting frame. It wasn't often she could use height to an advantage with him. She braced her hand on his shoulder, eyes flashing down at his.
He watched her a moment before seemingly coming to a decision.
She felt his hand press flat against her stomach and took in her breath sharply, suddenly aware of how close together they were.
He stayed silent, his hand moving up the middle of her abdomen.
She felt the unspoken challenge and swallowed, lifting her chin, keeping her eyes focused on his intense stare, growing breathless as she felt him unfasten the top few buttons of her shirt. Her heart pounded madly, and she trembled when his finger slipped gently inside. A sliver of fear swept over her, and the moment it struck, Brennan's hand dropped abruptly.
This time she was the one who pulled away, embarrassed, ashamed.
He had made his point.
The beeping of the computer got Emma's attention, and she spun around in her chair, glancing at the screen. Her face paled slightly, but she quickly pasted on a neutral expression when Jesse peered over the terminal at her screen.
"Did something come up?"
"It's finished decoding." Emma spoke slowly, glancing up as Adam entered the room, discreetly turning the monitor away from Jesse when his head gravitated toward the older man. "Dr. Haines was telling us the truth; it is a list of names."
Adam's shoulders stiffened imperceptibly, pausing mid-step as he glanced over at them.
"So, what does it say?" Jesse leaned back in his chair, trying to suppress a cough.
Emma lifted her head, staring intently at Adam as he walked closer to them. "There are only two names on the list."
Adam met her gaze, nodding slightly.
Emma closed out the file, face ducked to hide the expression of pain as she felt the blankness hurtling from within. But when she next raised her face a mere second later, she hid it all. She was getting used to hiding.
Shalimar desperately needed some air.
She pushed off the bed with a half-strangled sound, walking stiffly across the room. She heard Brennan call her name, but she ignored him, leaving without another word. She could feel the walls closing in tight, and increased her steps, silently slipping through the halls past the members of her team still working despite the late hour. As soon as she was outside, she ran. The pine trees, the fog, everything blurred together until she finally slowed to a walk. She found herself at the furthest edge of the beach and dropped down on her stomach into the sand. Surrounded by her own private cocoon of fog, she put her head down on her arms, refusing the tears that wanted to come.
Concentrate.
Think of something….anything else.
The smell of the damp sand.
Breathe it in.
What was wrong with her?
The wet chill of the evening air.
Feel it on your skin.
Why couldn't she just let Brennan love her?
Damn it.
Concentrate.
All at once she sensed him.
He didn't make a sound or touch her, but he was there.
She could feel him, stronger than the fog's clamminess on her skin.
She pressed her forehead against her wrists and didn't move.
Breathe.
Breathe.
His scent was there too, mixed with the salty smell of the ocean and the wet sand.
She heard a little sigh and then a faint rustle as he settled down close beside her in the sand. She could hear his breathing now, hard. She smirked. He had run a long way to find her and was out of breath.
Good.
She continued to ignore him.
Brennan watched her from the corner of his eye. In the dim moonlight, her hair was mussed, and from the part that was visible in the curtain of blonde tresses and shadowy darkness, her face was flushed with desire…fear. Her lips were pouty, swollen. She looked like she'd been kissed and kissed well, and he felt a new surge of desire and frustration to know that he had put that look on her. He forced himself to glance away. "You ok?" He finally broke the silence.
She sighed, running her fingers through the damp sand. "Ever notice, we're constantly asking each other that?" She looked at him sideways under the cover of her hair, unintentionally catching his gaze.
So much for ignoring him.
He was lying on his stomach in the sand beside her, resting his chin on his hands, staring out at the few yards of gray ocean visible in the fog. Her gaze searched his face. His lashes, his cheeks, his mouth. His forehead was furrowed, and he was trying to hide it in his voice, but he was upset too.
"I couldn't find you, you scared me." His voice was hoarse, breathing heavy as he turned his head to fully look at her. She was looking intensely at him, and he matched her with his own gaze.
She could smell his fear, taste it on the roof of her mouth. It brought back a dash of reality, and she realized he didn't really know what she was feeling. He was on the verge of jumping to the wrong conclusion. She didn't know how to make him understand, could barely explain it to herself, so tried to make him see with her eyes instead.
But he failed to understand, dropping his eyes from the intensity of her stare, rubbing his thumb against his ring. "So what now?" The warm skin of his elbow brushed hers for a second.
She realized she would have to be more direct. "Brennan, there's a…natural hesitancy, an urge for everything to stay the same. But that's not going to happen." She watched his thumb stop moving. He was making the worst assumptions.
He went straight into the next question. "I need to know what you want."
"My hesitancy does not mean I don't want this." She smiled, one corner of her mouth lifting ruefully. "Sometimes I think I want this too much."
That made him look up.
Something in her needed to touch him, and she reached out, softly putting her hand on his cheek. "I'm not afraid of being with you, Brennan. I'm afraid of not being strong enough if I am."
He shook his head, trying to understand.
She made a curious, helpless gesture with one hand. "Sometimes I'm afraid of being too vulnerable, because then someone could get hurt." She looked away, blinking rapidly. "I couldn't live with myself if I let someone get hurt. And even though you keep telling me that it's not my fault when something happens, I can't help but feel that way. It's my job, and when I'm distracted…"
It was a feral's instinct to protect, to guard the pack. He understood that feeling better than she realized. His heart ached for her fear.
"Jesse told me being vulnerable to one person means being stronger when facing the rest of the world." She turned back towards him. "I never thought of it that way before."
"Neither have I." He confessed thickly.
"I'd like to give it a try though." She spoke slowly, meaningfully, meeting his gaze anew.
He could see so much love in her eyes that it instantly sobered him. "Are you sure you're ready for this?" He whispered, studying her face for any signs of apprehension.
She had caught the serious mood too, and her eyes were glittering pools of amber as she told him without words that she was touched by his concern. She curled a hand around the back of his neck and slowly nodded. "I'm ready."
His eyes dropped to her lips briefly before returning to her loving gaze. "You know how I feel about you, don't you?"
She graced him with that tender smile she seemed to reserve only for him, smoothing the hair back from his forehead in a tender gesture before resting her hand against the side of his face, gently stroking his eyebrow with her thumb. 'I know, Brennan," She whispered. "I know."
He smiled almost shyly, lowering his lips to hers in the most tender of kisses, his heart nearly bursting as he wordlessly professed his love for her. She responded, opening herself like he had never felt before from her.
"Don't give up on me, Brennan," She whispered when he broke away.
"Never," He rasped, eyes boring into hers. "Never."
She inched closer to him, pushing herself to her knees as his arms wrapped around her waist, kissing him on his neck where the muscle began at his shoulder, placing her hands on each side of his face and bringing his lips to hers for a kiss that was both apology and forgiveness.
He greedily drank every drop of emotion she poured into him through her kiss. Being almost here isn't good enough, Brennan. A flash of remembrance of her broken words hit him, and he fiercely vowed never to let her down. No matter what happened. He trembled slightly at the thought, and she felt it go all through his body, pulling back and recognizing the haunted look in his eyes.
"Tell me about your dream."
He wordlessly shook his head, unable to forget the way she had looked at him with deep agony and grief. Why? He couldn't bear to see that look in her eyes again.
She licked her lips. "I think I know." She hadn't meant to tell him. It was something he had chosen not to share with her, as she had childhood secrets of her own she had chosen not to share. But at her whispered words, his head shot up, eyes locking on hers.
She knew something. His hands gripped her shoulders. "What do you mean?"
"Nothing, I just—"
"Tell me."
They stared at each other for a moment.
"I'm having nightmares." She met his eyes steadily. "And I know you are too."
He drew his breath in slightly, looking away.
"I'm having your nightmare, Brennan."
His face changed subtly, eyes widening in shock. His grip on her shoulders loosened, fingers trembling. "Are you sure?"
She shifted, eyes lowering. "I see you as a little boy, Brennan. I see your mother before she died."
"What?" His voice reflected new shock. That wasn't what he was expecting.
"I see you with your friends, boosting a car."
He shook his head, struggling to follow. "Wait, how do you—"
"I saw her give you a pendant, I saw you begging for her to breathe when she lay dying." Unbidden tears began to slide down her cheeks, and she wiped them away impatiently. "I felt everything you felt, Brennan."
He broke the contact next, turning away, leaning his elbows on his knees. "Shalimar, I—" He wiped his face with a clammy hand. "I never told anyone that, not even Adam."
"I know, Brennan."
He looked utterly lost as he glanced at her, trying to fathom the meaning of it all. "How?"
"I don't know."
Brennan turned his face away again, covering his face with his hands. Shalimar living his past, himself seeing a horrible future. Sometimes it was just…too much.
"I'm sorry, Brennan." She sank back down next to him.
He sighed heavily, lifting his head. "I know." He paused, eyes searching a spot across the water. "I just want to know why this is happening."
"So do I."
A new thought occurred to him. "Do—do you think it could have anything to do with that psionic messing with you?"
"What do you mean?" She looked at him warily.
"I don't know, maybe it's more of his games."
"No," She shook her head after a moment.
"Why not, it makes sense—"
"Brennan, you never told me any of this," She gently reminded him. "That means he would have to have been in your head as well."
Oh.
He fell quiet.
"Anything strange happening to you lately?" She prompted him after a moment.
He closed his eyes, wincing.
"Brennan, tell me about your dream." She reached over, tangling their fingers together.
"It's nothing, Shal." He shook his head, determinedly tugging on her fingers, bringing them up to his lips, trying to distract her. "I have a lot of bad dreams about my childhood, about losing my mother…growing up on the streets. I have nightmares of other things too." He glanced at her askew. "Sometimes I dream of losing you."
She nodded, jaw tightening, knowing that fear all too well.
They fell quiet again.
"I'm sorry about your mother."
He swallowed quickly, jerkily. The old feelings of abandonment stung even now.
"She loved you, Brennan, more than anything." She leaned into his chest, eyes burning. "She didn't want to leave you."
He nodded again, pulling her into his arms, holding her gently. "No child should have to feel the way I did, Shal, to be left alone like that."
Her eyes closed. "I felt it too, Brennan."
She sensed his resignation. "Yeah, I'm sorry you had to experience it, dream it. I wouldn't—"
"No." She shook her head against his chest. "I meant with my own childhood. My father—I—" She fell silent, unable to say more.
"It's ok, Shal." He spoke up after a moment, sensing the heavy grief within her, wanting only to comfort her.
She felt his lips press against her eyelids, and again, softly and hesitantly against her cheek. This was the third time now recently she had thought about her own childhood abandonment. First when she was talking with Emma the morning she was sick and then when Brennan had told her about that little boy he helped put into the underground. She didn't want to think about it anymore. It was too painful. Between everything going on lately, she just wanted it all to go away, even if for one night. Brennan smoothed her hair with one hand, and she leaned into his touch, tracing the muscles of his back with her hands. Just make it go away, she pleaded silently, make it better. She burrowed her face into his neck, calming herself in his arms, suppressing all thoughts but the comfort she felt from being held so tenderly.
He felt her muscles relax, and gently pulled her to her feet, rubbing his hands up and down her arms as she shivered in the cool air. "I love you, Shal."
She smiled tenderly. "I love you too."
His expression didn't change, he didn't move a muscle, only his pupils moved, dilating in the near darkness as he searched her face.
She suddenly felt shy, smiling, watching the waves lapping near their feet, realizing with a start they were both barefoot. Her toes were numb. "Let's go home." She tilted her face back up to him, meeting his eyes.
He let out his breath, groaning softly, arm sliding around her shoulder and slipping her back into his warmth as they turned and walked back down the beach.
She tucked her arm around his waist and they walked without talking, the only sound the rush of the surf. The fog had an unreal quality to it. Had it only been a few days since they had been here last? She wasn't feeling chilled any more, she was just floating along beside him, not really thinking about what they'd just said. She looked down at their feet. Funny how she'd never noticed how her stride was only a little more than half of his. She had to take an extra step for every few he took. She scanned the sand. There was only one their two sets of prints coming from the other direction, in places washed away by the tide. With each step they took, new prints overlapped and clashed with old, paths mixing, colliding. Something struck her about the symbolism, and she tightened her arm around him.
They entered quietly, slowly, back into Sanctuary. Their home was dark and still, their family asleep as they made their way down the hallway and into Brennan's room. He closed the door with his foot as she turned in his arms. She smiled, shaking her head in wonder, reaching up to touch his face, gently stroking his ear with her fingertip, at a loss for words, struck by the enormity of the moment. He seemed to understand, tilting his forehead so that it came to rest against hers, the tip of his nose brushing hers. She stood still and shut her eyes. Her blood felt like it had rushed through her one way, and then turned around and was sizzling back through her veins the other way. Every place her skin touched his felt simultaneously singed and caressed. Foreheads, hands, noses, thighs. Their tightly clasped hands. Even her toes against his bare feet.
His eyes.
The color had changed from chocolate brown to black, the pupils big and deep. "I love you." His voice was rough with emotion and his face so serious. He smiled suddenly, a bright, hopeful look as he cleared his throat. "I love you, Shal." He repeated the words, his voice still raw, eyes just the tiniest bit shy.
She leaned forward and kissed him hard. His arms went back around her, and she slid her hands under his back and kissed him harder. Things had changed. The rules of their world had subtly, utterly shifted, and she wasn't sure at all she knew what she was doing.
But she was sure of one thing.
"I love you too." She cupped his face, tracing her finger over his cheeks. His skin, his eyelashes, his nose…she loved him all.
He hadn't heard the words often in his lifetime. He blinked quickly at the tears that stung his eyes now at hearing them.
But she knew, and she pushed gently, laying him down, raising herself up, smiling tenderly down at him. "And I'll tell you the same again tomorrow, when you wake up and think this was a dream," She whispered softly, kissing the sensitive skin in front of his ear. "I'll tell you ten years from now when you're still amazed that I'm with you," She whispered fiercely, teasingly.
His brow quirked, the bravado not quite hiding the tremble of his lips as she kissed him. He felt her hands smooth down his shoulders, and he opened his eyes. She looked so beautiful, so sensual, so loving, it left him in awe. He rolled her gently under him, linking the fingers of both his hands with hers, bringing their joined hands up to rest beside her face.
There was so much unknown.
But for now, none of it mattered.
For now, it was enough to touch each other in the darkness of his bedroom with soft lips and exploring fingers.
It was more than enough.
It was everything.
Fire glowed in her eyes as she stared at him.
He stared back.
Claiming each other.
Now. Tomorrow. Forever.
There are a lot of things that go by and are forgotten in life, she thought as she searched deeper into his eyes and drowned, but never the first time you're with someone you love. She opened her senses to the night, printing it all in her mind.
His eyes.
She watched him watch her and felt something like amazement overtake her. She couldn't help but smile, and he paused, smiling back.
It was about time.
She had thought it before, their first night back from the underground caves, but understood it more fully this time. Whatever had been keeping them apart all this time had disappeared into the night. She could tell by his eyes he felt it too.
We both get it now. I love you. It's as simple as that.
His smile widened, hearing her though she didn't speak it aloud, and the look in his eyes sent a wave of warmth crashing through her, breaking down the last of the walls of separation.
And then it was just them.
All coherent thoughts left her as she lost herself in him, with him, and together, they slid over the edge and fell into the night.
In his lab, Adam worked feverishly alone, swearing under his breath as he learned that he was too late, that finally learning the names on the list was meaningless.
They had already been killed.
He frowned, knowing what Emma hadn't voiced aloud.
That there had been three names on the list.
And that his was the third.
He groaned, laying his head into his palms. He didn't know how much longer Emma would respect the boundaries they had wordlessly established.
Illusion.
Misdirection.
Truth inside a lie, masking truth.
It was because of duty he had deceived them in the past, and it was because of love he continued to do so now.
He had thought when he brought his team home from this last great mission that the past had been reburied; he had thought he could breathe again, even if it was a short reprieve.
He had been wrong.
The groan that escaped him was low and desperate.
He was getting tired of holding his breath.
Shalimar stirred slowly, waking from her restless doze, staring up at the blue-gray light in the room. It was at least an hour before dawn. A heavy leg rested across hers, warm arms cradling her close. She smiled, turning her head slightly and tasting his skin. Just the salt at the edge of his sideburn with the tip of her tongue. Then she kissed his ear lightly.
"Hey," She whispered into his ear.
No answer.
"Brennan." She whispered again. Her tongue darted out to tease the line of his jaw.
Still no response.
He was dead to the world.
She grinned softly, kissing him one final time. "I'll be back." She wanted so badly to stay nestled in Brennan's arms and fall back asleep, but something wouldn't let her. She had been awake for the past hour, and from his breathing, Brennan would be asleep for quite some time yet. She reluctantly slipped out from under the warmth of his body; pulling on the t-shirt Brennan had been wearing earlier, then padding over to the bathroom in the dark.
Love.
Unbelievable.
She knew she was glowing with it. It was unlike her. She didn't let it happen very often. It was dangerous now. With him.
Him.
She washed her hands, splashing water on her face before walking back into the bedroom. He slept crookedly on the bed, having sculpted his body around hers.
No nightmares.
She smiled, wanting to take credit for it, but knowing better.
The nightmares would return for both of them.
But not now.
She contented herself for a moment watching him, biting her lip in tender remembrance. She was tired, but felt too restless to sleep. She thought about waking him, a gleam in her eye, but decided against it, tracing the line of his bare chest with possessive eyes, unable to resist touching him one more time. She lifted her hand and placed it on top of his, fingers sliding of their own accord around to his inner wrist, pressing against his veins, feeling his blood flow warm through him. The simple contact was electric, the current flowing from her body to his and back again. She concentrated on the sensation, absorbing it, feeling his heart beating in her fingers, her hands, her arms, and her chest, smiling tenderly when she realized their hearts were beating together.
Perfectly in time.
The hair on her arms stood on end as she listened with her fingers, watching him, loving him.
Restless energy finally drove her from the room, the feral needing to move, and she kissed him gently, closing the door quietly behind her, stopping off in her own room and pulling on jeans and a shirt before padding down the hallway. It was early, morning not far off, and the others would be waking soon. Even as she tiptoed silently down the hall, Emma's door opened, a bright red, disheveled head peeking out.
"Oh, hey Shal." Emma greeted tiredly, yawning hugely. "I was just going to sit by the fount—" She suddenly stopped, eyes widening, lips curling into a grin.
"What?" Shalimar raised her brows defensively at Emma's look.
"Nothing." Emma discreetly ducked her head as the feral walked past. "It's about time," She whispered, smiling to the room at large when Shalimar disappeared.
Yeah, yeah, you know we'll talk later.
Emma laughed aloud when Shalimar purposely sent her her thoughts, knowing full well she would hear her, and she laughed louder, knowing full well the feral could hear her laughter in return.
Shalimar shook her head at her friend's laughter, smiling as she padded into the kitchen for a quick breakfast. Whatever had woken her up still had her feeling restless, and she wandered, finding herself by one of the terminals, staring blankly at the computer screen. She couldn't stop thinking about her last dream for some reason. Brennan had been way too young to be stealing cars. The faces of his friends loomed in her memory, and she frowned. They had all been older than him, except one, and they had obviously been using him.
He had just been too little to know it.
She thought of her own childhood, of the recent reminders. Of their own volition, her hands began to move over the keyboard, and for reasons she couldn't explain, she had the urge to call Dave.
The burly molecular didn't answer.
She frowned, thinking some more, typing a few quick strokes into the computer, freezing when a grainy picture of a dark-haired little boy popped up.
He was small for his age, eyes owlishly large behind wire-rimmed glasses.
She swallowed, fingers trembling as she covered her mouth.
She knew that face.
It was one of the boys from her dream, one of Brennan's friends.
The one who had been his age.
Something was wrong.
The feeling haunted her even as she raised her ring to lips, about to call for help, freezing when she realized the absurdity of it all. How would she even begin to explain it? Dave, find Dave. The mantra stuck in her mind even as she numbly dropped her hand, legs shaking slightly as she slipped back into Brennan's room. Still he slept, soundly, and she knew that if she woke him, he would demand an explanation. Or insist on going with her.
She couldn't explain it to herself, let alone anyone else.
It was just a silly dream.
She shook her head, deciding to leave him a note.
"Went to Dave's. Call me."
She slipped out just as he began to stir.
When Brennan awoke alone, he didn't know what to think. When he found her obscure note, he felt even more confused. He stared at her scribbled handwriting with furrowed brows, lips about to form her name when Adam's voice suddenly interrupted.
Another meeting.
Brennan sighed as he made his way into Adam's lab, finding Jesse and Emma already there. He sank into the nearest chair, staring distractedly at the screen saver shifting a double helix across the screen in front of him. Adam was speaking, but he didn't hear a word.
He had woken up alone.
She had left him.
No, he chastised his wandering thoughts. Last night had been…amazing. She had left him a note. Suddenly he couldn't wait to see her again. Dave's. His fingers brought the computer to life, pausing when the screen saver dissipated to show a grainy picture of a little boy.
Danny Haines.
His name was listed under his picture.
"This mission is imperative…"
Adam's voice droned on in his head as he stared at the large eyes, realizing he had never followed up on him as he promised he would. In the midst of the mission and the psionic and Adam's secrets and Jesse being injured and his nightmares, and things with Shalimar, he had completely forgotten.
"…And so, we must go to Naxcon."
Naxcon.
Brennan's head shot up at the word.
He had heard that name only one other time.
In his nightmare.
They shouldn't have died in the Naxcon explosion…
His eyes narrowed, breath coming in shallow puffs.
If you had just followed up like you should have...
"None of this would have happened."
He spoke the words out loud without realizing it, barely noticing when Adam stopped speaking to stare at him, heart pounding as his eyes bore into the large ones in the grainy picture of Danny.
Shalimar had been the one struggling with fear and guilt all this time.
But yet in the end, it would be his fault.
He killed Adam and Emma.
Followed up.
Danny, Danny was somehow the key.
With trembling fingers, he typed in the single word.
Naxcon.
It pulled up an overwhelming load of information. Nicholas Fox. His eyes locked on the President and CEO's name.
Shalimar's father.
With trembling fingers he pulled up the family that was taking in Danny.
They had left him a message three days ago.
Dave and Danny never arrived.
It was then he knew fear.
Shalimar had gone after them.