Disclaimer—See Chapter One
A/N: I'm so sorry yet again for the long wait! I've been writing frantically the past few weekends as I won't have any more free weekends until the end of January after this coming one. But I'm finally almost done with this story, so hope to post the final chapters soon! There will be fifteen chapters total, so two more to go! I also wanted to let everyone know that this will most likely be my final story, at least for a while. I'm still having health problems and will be having surgery in February, so will unfortunately be busy for a while. But it's nothing too serious, so that is good news at least. Thank you all so much for your continued support! I can't tell you enough how much your encouragement and feedback means. My goal has been more character-based this time, so I'm thrilled to know you are still reading and enjoying it! Thank you Rain, Tunder28, Fiery Feral, Mayra, ShalBrenLove, CatJerica,Kitty Invictus. Your words touched me. Redhead2, so glad you were able to get caught up again! And you summarized exactly what I hoped to accomplish in this story; thank you! Anamalia-fear, thank you so much! Susie, you understand the love I hoped to convey for these characters, and I thank you so much for sharing that with me! There is some more character exploration in this chapter, as well as some action. A few more secrets revealed and more questions raised. I hope you enjoy! Thank you!
Traveling On—Chapter Thirteen
It was a quiet group that went back to Sanctuary, the helix flying low in the dark. A watery new moon, high in the sky, ducked in and out of fast-moving clouds. Shalimar eyed the sky. Another rainstorm was threatening.
The breeze had risen slightly; she swore she could still feel the current even within the cabin. The storm was nearly upon them. A sudden gust blew a handful of leaves across the dark curving road beneath them. She stared through the window, feeling her father's eyes boring into the back of her skull. Beside her, Brennan shifted, and the air inside the helix changed, a faint hint of electricity stirred and made the pores all over her body prickle.
"Storm's coming," She heard him murmur, his eyes bouncing between herself and her father. She nodded, distracted, just as the sprinkling rain changed to a sudden downpour and lightening flashed through the sky and struck nearby with an almost instantaneous crash. Ahead of them, in the pilot seat, Jesse pulled back on the controls, and the cabin tilted, the helix rising above the storm-laden clouds. She turned, pressing her nose into Brennan's shoulder, opening her mouth against his bare skin and breathing him in. The blood and sweat mingling with the fresh scent of the rain. She could hear his heart beating rapidly under her ear, drumming in unison with the drops on the roof as Jesse brought them through the clouds. For a second, the windows were covered in mist, and then the plane broke free, soaring beneath the clear moon. She turned back, staring out the window.
Sanctuary was bright and warm when they returned; familiar. Adam was still asleep, mumbling slightly. Shalimar paused to press a light kiss to his brow before brushing past her father as he stood silently in the doorway. He called after her, but she kept going. Her eyes met Jesse's, and he nodded, understanding, and she heard the molecular speak softly to her father as she walked away. There was a lot she needed to say to him, a lot the team needed to do yet that night, but she needed a moment.
She crawled into her high bed, curling her body tight, face pressed against soft, musky fur.
She was beginning to fear that there was no safe place anymore.
Her door squeaked open, but she didn't have to look to know it was Brennan.
He stood there, bone-weary, his muscular frame propped heavily against the door jamb. He didn't actually look at her, but she could see apprehension in the set of his shoulders, exhaustion in the lines of his face. She swallowed hard, not trusting herself to speak.
She didn't know what to say anyway.
With an effort he pushed himself from the door jamb and shut the door. Wrapping her arms around her ribs, she turned, looked at him, nostrils flaring at the sharp tang of blood in her home.
"It's not my blood," He reminded her, walking into the middle of the room.
"Whose blood is it?"
"I didn't get his name."
She winced, nodding, dragging herself out of bed as he walked past her and into her bathroom. She watched him as he leaned over the sink, washing his hands and arms. His white, naked chest and shoulders made him look strangely vulnerable. His heavy sigh broke her heart, and she stepped up behind him, resting her cheek against his back, arms circling around him. The muscles of his abdomen rolled beneath her hands as he straightened, turning to pull her tightly into his arms. His skin felt chilly, clammy, and she pressed hard against his ribs until she could feel his heart pulsing steadily against her fingertips. Not in shock, she realized with relief.
"Brennan—"
"I need to shower, Shal." He held her for a moment more before releasing her, stepping back. "We need to get back out there and find Danny…and Alex." His jaw flexed.
"But—"
He started to unbuckle his belt.
"We can talk more when I get out."
He was shivering slightly.
"Ok." She took his elbow and turned him toward the shower, reaching over and turning on the water. It would warm him up. "There's not much on your jeans." She noticed he was staring at a dried splotch on his knee. He had been through his own version of hell tonight. She pressed her lips together as he sluggishly toed off one boot, then the other. Steam from the shower was beginning to fill the room. She turned, wiping a hand across the rapidly fogging mirror, staring at her own tired reflection. A fine coat of grime from the smoke cast a gray pallor over her skin and hair, making her look old. She made a face, turning back around.
Brennan was just stepping out of his jeans.
Gray boxers.
She smiled faintly. Somewhere along the line, he had gotten to the point where he was comfortable stripping in front of her. She blushed at the memory of their last time together, only their second time. With everything going on, the newness of it all it had somehow gotten lost to them. He met her gaze and smiled tiredly, tenderly before climbing into the shower. The look in his eyes curling her toes. Finally. Warm delicious love. For so long she had hoped for normal, had comforted herself with the thought of it whenever she had drifted too close to the edge. It was only recently that she had discovered they existed in a universe where there were no defined levels, that they had already abandoned those traditional roles to create ones drawn loosely along lines from ages past. Roles and relationships forged in blood and dependence, in comradeship and battle. And so they watched each other. Some part of their brains constantly on the alert for sight, smell, touch. Constantly taking subconscious sideways glances to evaluate body language and position. No wonder she sometimes felt like half of her was missing. Sometimes, half of her was. Their path may have been unconventional, but then again, so were they.
They hadn't missed a thing.
She bent, gathering up his clothes, leaving the room for a brief moment to drop them in the washer, stopping at his room to get him clean things, and then returning to her own room. The shower was still running. She dug through her own drawers, pulling out fresh jeans, a black sweater for warmth against the chilly night air, best for stealth.
Black. Stealth.
She laughed soundlessly at how normal it all was to them.
She set the clothes down on her bed, stepping back into the bathroom. The mirror was completely fogged by now, and she had a flash of fear, staring at it in trepidation.
The sound of the water turning off startled her, and she shook her head, wiping a hand across the mirror.
"Shalimar?"
Brennan stepped out of the shower, one of her towels slung low around his hips, using another to rub his hair dry. She stared at him through the mirror. His chest was wet, droplets clinging to skin flushed red from hot water.
He didn't look vulnerable now.
She didn't turn at his inquiry, just watched him in the mirror as he came toward her.
He stopped just behind her and stared back at her reflection. His eyes slid slowly over her from head to toe. Every inch of her skin that his gaze caressed—her face, her neck, her arms—began to burn.
Their eyes met in the mirror.
She realized she was holding her breath. She let it out.
"You ok?" His head bent, kissing the top of her head. A drop of water landed on her shoulder, and she shivered.
"Yeah." Her eyes darted back to the mirror of their own regard. Nothing. She hated herself for even looking.
Brennan didn't notice, hands rubbing up and down her arms as he stared down at the top of her head. "I saw Alex tonight." He spoke suddenly, quietly.
Startled, she glanced sharply up at him, but his arms had gone around her, fitting her back against his hips. One arm crossed possessively over her chest, his warm palm cupping her shoulder.
"In my dream," He corrected, murmuring against her ear, "I saw Alex at the explosion. He spoke to me."
"What did he say?" She still watched him in the mirror.
"I am him. But I don't understand what that means."
Brennan shook his head, still talking, but a loud buzzing in her ears prevented her from hearing. I am him. It was the same thing she had seen written in large, shaky handwriting. It didn't mean anything. She whimpered, eyes boring fearfully into the mirror. Suddenly she realized she was shaking all over. Damned adrenaline. She pulled away, folding her arms over her chest to try to stop it, hoping Brennan wouldn't notice. He had stopped talking. She turned back to him. His eyes quickly darted down her body then back to her face.
"Shal?"
"I'm sure it's nothing." She tilted her head to meet his eyes, three inches from her own. This close, she could see into the depths. She smiled enigmatically to cover the unexpected emotion and gave him a brief soft kiss on the mouth.
He frowned slightly, recognizing she was holding something back, knowing better than to push. He sighed, stepping back. "We better hurry, the others will be waiting."
She nodded, hands moving woodenly, slowly unbuttoning her shirt as he left the small bathroom.
"I think he was trying to tell me something, Shal." Brennan's voice came back to her as she slipped the shirt from her shoulders. It fell to the cold tile with a soft plop. She nodded again, forgetting he couldn't see her. The mirror stayed blank, her mind strangely empty, but still he haunted her, locked in an illusive memory.
All along, all this time, you thought they wanted you…The prey, Shalimar, you forgot the prey.
The psionic had taunted her about hurting Jesse, as if he knew how it would affect her.
I know everything about you, Shalimar. The institution. Your time on the streets. I know how wild you can be.
He had known about her childhood, something no one else had known about except the one person who had spent time on those streets with her.
I am him.
The words scrawled across her mirror.
She didn't understand. Why—and how?
She was afraid to know the answer.
She trembled at the pain of such implications, forcing a smile as Brennan poked his head into the bathroom, lifting her face to his as he pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.
"I'll be right back; I'm going to check on the others. The more I think about it, the more I have a good feeling about tonight, Shal. The explosion happened, but Adam and Emma are still alive. Your father is innocent. Now we've just got to find Danny and prove that Alex has nothing to do with any of this."
"Brennan—"
His expression was so determined, so hopeful. "I think we're finally going to find the answers we're been looking for."
"Brennan." Her voice was so soft, so full of tears, she could barely say his name as the door swung shut behind him. It was all she could say. "Brennan."
When Shalimar had first shown up at his company that afternoon, Nicholas had used all his contacts to check into Mutant X and this Brennan Mulwray she so obviously adored. It had, he acknowledged now, been a superficial check at best. The secrets of Mutant X had been well hidden, and the only information on the man his daughter claimed to love showed a damned criminal. Brennan Mulwray was a car thief and petty con, a rather varied and colorful record before suddenly dropping off the radar a few years ago. And he was a mutant.
That was all Nicholas had needed to know.
It hadn't taken a genius to figure out what happened to him next. Adam Kane. Nicholas pressed his lips together, eyes roving the massive cavern he know found himself in. Sanctuary, they called it. They had made it fairly clear that maybe there were things hiding in the shadows that he had simply been too blind to see. Maybe. Maybe not. But he was open to the possibility that Brennan was not as cracked as he had originally thought. He had watched the man fight alongside his daughter when they thought they were in danger in the lobby. He had then watched the man laboring to rescue those same people he had beaten just hours before. He had saved many in the aftermath of the explosion, and then he had brought his daughter back from the brink of insanity. Criminal or not, he grudgingly gave the man his respect. Footsteps echoed in the hall, and he glanced up to see them approaching now, watching warily as they settled into the overstuffed chairs around him.
"How are you doing?" Shalimar sat on the edge of the couch closest to her father's chair. She still wasn't comfortable around him, but she was relieved he hadn't been too severely injured in the fire. Paramedics had bandaged him up on site and from the looks of it, Jesse had worked on him some more in the lab while she had showered.
"As well as can be expected." Her father looked exhausted, mentally and physically.
"Good." She nodded back to him, glancing around the room at Brennan as he sat supportively next to her and at Jesse and Emma as they entered the room, having quickly cleaned up as well. "We should get going then." She started to stand.
"I have some questions first." Nicholas crossed his arms, looking at Brennan.
Shalimar sighed, glancing again at the others as she sank back into her chair.
"What about?" Brennan answered for all of them.
"About Adam Kane, about this place and what you're all doing." He paused, dropping his gaze to his normally well-manicured hands. His thumbnail had broken off in a jagged line. "And about what the hell my company has to do with all this." He looked back up, cutting Shalimar off as she started to speak, making eye contact with Brennan. "You asked me questions earlier about Mason Eckhart, about my company. Now it's my turn to ask some questions."
"Fair enough." Brennan answered after a moment. "But we don't have much time."
"Alright." Nicholas leaned back in his chair. "You claim that Adam is working for good, that you're working with him to stop Mason Eckhart and these—these experiments he's creating, and that you think he needs materials from my company to do so." He paused for a moment.
Shalimar gritted her teeth at the derision in his tone. Experiments. Mutants he meant. She felt Brennan's hand on her knee, taking a deep breath.
Her father kept his eyes on Brennan, not even noticing her agitation. "So why destroy Naxcon? Why take away what he supposedly so desperately needed?"
"We don't know." Brennan met his gaze candidly. "We're still trying to figure it all out."
"You have no idea who the guy was that started the fire?" Shalimar watched him with furrowed brow.
"I've never seen him before." Nicholas barely spared her a glance, his face a study of stubborn anger as he looked back at Brennan. "But he was definitely one of them; he shot fire from his hands."
"Can you describe him?" Jesse crossed over to a computer. "We might have him in our database."
"I can try."
Shalimar heard their voices, but was no longer listening. Instead, she found herself dealing with a brutally efficient if painfully unexpected blow to her heart. She had thought she was prepared for anything from her father. If it had not hurt so much, she might have laughed when she realized just how wrong that assumption had been. Brennan was too used to being the lead in anything they did, even talking. Her father's begrudging deferral to him would not seem out of the ordinary. So she was not completely sure he noticed that Nicholas answered her questions with only a brief glance in her direction before quickly sliding his eyes back to Brennan. She told herself that she was just being over sensitive, that she was just reacting to old issues…until she asked a seemingly unrelated question and her father glanced at Brennan for confirmation of interest before answering. For a brief, endless second, Shalimar found that she felt nothing at all. No pain. No anger. No betrayal. Then something she did not even know she had kept alive, gave one tiny wail of anguish…and died.
It was, she thought numbly, extremely ironic. Through everything, she had somehow nursed the hope that she could show her father how to see the man that Brennan really was, not just the mutant that was living with his daughter as he had seen him as that afternoon. She had wanted him to see the man she admired, respected, and believed in with every fiber of her soul. And now, here he was, actually finding something worthy to respect Brennan for, not because he respected her judgment or her opinion, but because he needed him now that his company was destroyed. He needed Brennan to fight the monsters.
How…disappointing.
She should have known better than to have expectations. But there had been a tiny wish that something would happen. Something that would force her father to look at her and see that the past several years of her life had not been wasted. To realize that those years had value, that she had value. Her father had been proud of her while she was a little girl. She could still remember what that had felt like. But as she got older, he had simply not understood her. He had been embarrassed. And then he had abandoned her.
That had hurt.
For the first time in years, she allowed herself to pry the lid off the seething mass of shocked pain and confusion she had stuffed deep into the furthest corners of her heart.
Brennan had figured out that something was wrong. He was still talking, but some part of his brain was focusing on her. She tried to bring her attention back to where it belonged, on the mission. She refused to justify her father's opinion by allowing personal feelings to interfere with the case at hand.
She would deal with the pain later.
Much later.
The whisper at the base of his skull grew louder as Brennan watched Shalimar's father react first with astonishment, then with irritation as they explained to him about Mutant X, showed him the other mutants in the database. They were far from his familiar serene world of normal, that was for sure. The automatic way he dismissed Shalimar, the way he didn't seem to take her or anything from her world seriously was evident in the stiffness of his shoulders, the bluntness of his tone. He still didn't get it. Brennan's eyes closed briefly at the ocean of hurt he could hear in Shalimar's voice when she next spoke, answering a question from her father.
Jesse was still flipping through the list of fire elementals. Without Adam's expertise of the mutants on record, it was taking longer than normal.
"Is all of this necessary? We should call the police." Nicholas was starting to lose patience, the reality of his destroyed life's work starting to sink in.
"No," Shalimar raised her jaw and spoke the next words so calmly that no one else would have known the edges were bleeding. "We're the most qualified to handle this situation."
His face twisted with frustration, voice rising. "Half my employees are dead! I'm sure you mean well, but I'm calling the police."
Shalimar shook her head. "You have to trust me on this one."
Exhausted, impatient, Nicholas growled the first words that sprang to his tongue. "This isn't about you!" He knew that his own anger was being fed by the emotional nightmare of the past few hours, and he knew that he was stressed out. Instead of matching anger however, he was startled by an expression of weariness and exhaustion sweeping over his daughter's face. Brennan's left hand twitched and for a second, Shalimar met his eyes. For once, Nicholas felt left out of the conversation, not understanding as they communicated wordlessly. Neither moved until Shalimar turned her head back to him, honey brown eyes filled with inexplicable pain.
"That's where you're wrong. This has everything to do about me, about all of us. If you want us to have any chance of keeping everyone safe, I can't have you fighting me on everything just because you don't trust what I say."
Instinctively, he tried to reach out, to hold her back as she turned away and headed down the hallway. This was not how he had meant for things to go. Even with everything else, he had wanted… This was not a reaction he recognized or knew how to deal with. "Shalimar—"
"Not now."
The finality in her tone reawakened his earlier frustration.
"We better go, Jess." Emma spoke up after an awkward moment. "We can look through the database later."
"Alright," Jesse nodded, standing to his feet. "I just need to check on Adam again before we leave." He hesitated, eyes bouncing between Brennan and Nicholas.
"Wherever you're going, it involves my company, my daughter." Nicholas stubbornly crossed his arms. "I'm coming with."
"Hell of a time for family values." Jesse practically growled under his breath.
"It's ok," Emma whispered reassuringly to him, pulling him along with her.
Brennan promised himself grimly that Nicholas would not surprise him again. His attitude had been an unexpected shock. He had expected a certain amount of disdain for their work, but surely her own father knew her better than to think that Shalimar could ever be an ineffectual anything. He had acted like he didn't have a clue what she did for a living. He had only seen her moment of fear that evening, and had dismissed everything else. As Nicholas settled himself cautiously into the chair across from him, Brennan was surprised at the depth of pain and sadness filling his eyes. Resolute, Nicholas met his eyes squarely. "Whatever she needs…I'll pay for it."
Brennan couldn't keep the contempt from his voice. "She doesn't need anything from you."
The reply was biting. "She lost it when she couldn't find you. I shudder to think what she would have done if someone tried to stop her or if you—" He broke off, uncomfortable. "She's always been wild. She's a danger to herself and to others." His voice faltered. "It's not her fault, but she needs help."
Brennan tried to understand, he tried…and he failed. It did not take a genius to realize that Shalimar had scared her father tonight. But Nicholas did not even want to look beyond the symptoms to the cause. Did he honestly think they could fling themselves into the abyss and escape without injury? That they could see the things they saw over and over again and have normal lives in the process? He wanted his nice safe house, and his nice safe family, but God forbid he should ever have to recognize the cost of that safety. Brennan's voice was a low snarl, and he saw Nicholas recoil in shock as he let the man see the sliver of darkness he usually tried to hide from prying eyes.
"You want to catch monsters…this is the price."
Nicholas swallowed, but refused to back down. "Tell me that what happened to her was a one time thing. Tell me she wouldn't have actually snapped if something had happened! Tell me that she wouldn't have harmed anyone who got in her way!" Hurt and fear and anger almost made his voice unrecognizable.
"I can't."
Nicholas shrunk down into his seat, and Brenan realized that he had wanted him to protest. Convince him that he was wrong. He could not do that, but maybe the truth would do almost as well. "I'm sure you understand about dreams, nightmares. Dreams can have their own reality, but normally they're so far removed from tangible reality, it's easy to see the edges." Brennan grabbed at the air in a gesture of frustration when the man's brows rose into his hairline. "But when you do what we do, our dreams echo the intangible world of horrific reality. There are no edges anymore because the dreams are plausible, detailed, and do nothing to contradict reality. So sometimes, like tonight, we see the horrors of our dreams and it feels like that memory actually happened, complete with emotional context and all."
Nicholas was trying; every cell in his body was focused on what Brennan was saying. But he could not make the connection. It was too far removed from his own reality.
Brennan tried again. "In that moment, she thought her dream was real. She thought she was too late to save me, and that I had died."
Nicholas was silent as he absorbed Brennan's words. "You don't think that's crazy?"
The elemental gave a short laugh. "Welcome to our world."
Nicholas swallowed sharply, horrified at the casual callousness of it perhaps. Or the reality of their lives. But maybe he was figuring out that his daughter inhabited a world where his definition of normal had long ago ceased to exist.
Either way, his world would never be the same again.
None of their worlds would.
Brennan clamped his shoulder briefly as he stood up and left the room.
"Hey Shalimar, wait up!" Jesse trotted up to the feral as she paced back and forth in front of the helix. He stopped in front of her, reaching out a hand to catch her as she brushed past him, searching for words. "So…your father seems nice."
There was an almost soundless chuckle. "Nice try, Jesse." The laughter died as she sucked in a quick hard breath, and he knew that she was fighting back tears.
"Hey, I'm sorry." He pulled her into a warm hug, tucking her head under his chin.
"You want to know the crazy part?" She sniffed against his shirt. "Our enemies have never, NEVER tried to invalidate my worth as casually as he just did."
"You're not alone, Shalimar." He understood the real pain behind her words, wanting so badly to take it away. Her arms tightened around him, and they held each other in silence. "And regardless of what others may think," He continued after a long moment, lips curving teasingly against her hair, "We're fairly certain you're not crazy."
She snorted against his shirt, laughing despite herself, pulling back to smack him on the chest.
"Ow!" Jesse's protest was lost in his gentle smile. Her head turned at the sound of approaching footsteps, stepping onto the ramp of the helix. "Hey," Jesse caught her hand, brow furrowed. "It'll be ok."
"Yeah." She smiled back at him, disappearing into the plane.
It was the last thing Adam expected to see when he finally opened his eyes.
"Why?" The voice was filled with agony.
Adam blinked in confusion at the angry gray head standing in his direct line of vision. "Nicholas?" The last thing he remembered was talking to Jesse, filling him in on the explosion when they got back. He must have drifted off to sleep again. How long ago had that been?
"Why?" The other man demanded. "Why do you encourage them to do this? Haven't you done enough to them already?"
Adam's face shifted in tired surprise, the old ghosts immediately painful. "Unfortunately, it's not that simple."
Nicholas moved into the room and stared down at him with something like astonishment. "How can you still not understand after all these years? You've ruined my daughter's life!"
"Nicholas, I'm sorry, but I don't think you understand everything as well as you think you do."
The older man's mouth tightened stubbornly in mulish self-defense. It would help a hell of a lot more if people would just tell him what they thought he did not understand instead of bashing him over the head with his incomprehension. First Shalimar. Now Adam. His eyes narrowed thoughtfully as the scientist gestured weakly with one hand, as if trying to find the right combination of words, angrily interrupting Adam before he could speak. "I understand that all those years ago, you messed with something you had no business changing, and that you ruined a lot of lives, including my family's! I understand that your guilt or—or greed or whatever the hell you want to call it drives you now to continue to use those kids—my daughter—so that you can keep on playing god. Your need to satisfy your sick curiosity put them in danger back then and it's putting them in danger now! They're getting ready to go back out there, to risk their lives—for you!"
Adam just looked at the beaten man blankly. His sigh was sad. "That's what they do. They're a team, and that's where they stand, Nicholas. On a line. Protecting us from monsters we can't see."
Nicholas was not even aware that he had begun to shake his head in reflexive rejection. This was crazy. This was his daughter they were talking about.
Adam shifted slightly on the bed, trying to ease the pain burning up his left side. "It's not always someone else's family, Nicholas. Maybe it's time you stop seeing her as a little girl. She is a hero, and has saved countless lives. For my past mistakes perhaps, but never just for my curiosity. They're working to protect people. And if you can't respect that…you will lose her." Adam paused, craning his neck to look at the man who was Shalimar's father. It was then that he saw the tears. The man just stood mute, head down. Adam sighed, wishing their reality wasn't so painful. He had only confusion to offer. No answers.
He had never had them.
Only the illusion of them.
For the third time that night, the helix soared through dark clouds. The wind had shifted, the trees dotting Stormking Mountain bending to its sheer force. The water rolled and hissed, a black mass from the air. Confused, resentful, and hurt, Nicholas sunk into a sullen silence that left him mostly ignored by the others in the plane. Jesse had taken the controls again, so Brennan could sit in the back with Shalimar and her father. They didn't say it aloud, but Nicholas suspected it was to keep the tenuous peace. His daughter didn't say anything to him, but her silence screamed angrily at him, so loud that he winced in recognition. He had screwed up again. He sighed bitterly, not quite understanding how. He just wanted the best for his daughter. Why was that so damn hard? He glanced over, surprised to find that Brennan sat with his head tipped back, throat vulnerable, eyes closed. The uncharacteristic defenselessness caught him off guard until the glint of reflected light warned him that Brennan was watching him through lowered lashes. He's letting me see him like this, he thought abruptly. Why? Without a word, Nicholas shifted in his seat, moving carefully, never taking his eyes off the motionless man. That his pose was deliberate, he did not doubt. He cleared his throat, waiting until Brennan looked at him more fully. "Why do you do this?" The words were wondering, spoken before he could censure them.
Brennan just tilted his head in mute inquiry.
Nicholas lowered his voice even more, forgetting about Shalimar's feral hearing as he stared at Brennan. He remembered Emma's words at the fire as they had walked away together. "You don't...you don't expect her to save you?"
Shalimar showed no reaction to the question, heard turned as she stared out the window at the full moon, heavy in the sky. Below them, lightening flickered in dark clouds.
"Every day, in every way." The words were quiet, accepting. Shalimar didn't move, but Brennan saw her smile reflected through the dark glass.
Nicholas' brow furrowed at the response. It held none of the self-pity, embarrassment, or desperate need he would have expected. Meeting the elemental's calm gaze, he realized that for Brennan, they were nothing more than a statement of fact. A grim acceptance of very real dangers. Nicholas felt a chill as he finally admitted, if only to himself, that maybe it was a two way commitment.
"Nicholas," Emma interrupted gently, speaking up from the front of the helix, "If you could take another look at the terminal next to you, I've narrowed down a list of possible fire mutants."
"I didn't get a very good look at him, but I'll try." The older man nodded, the cabin falling silent as he clicked through the list.
"We'll be there in just a few minutes," Jesse announced finally, reaching above his head to push a few buttons, preparing for landing.
"Anything yet?" Emma craned her neck from the co-pilot seat to peek at Nicholas.
"I don't know, it's hard to tell—" Nicholas' voice broke off for a moment, pulling his cell phone from his pocket as it vibrated. "Nicholas Fox," He answered the phone, pausing as he listened for a brief moment. "I'm on my way to the harbor," He spoke into the phone, meeting Shalimar's eyes as she finally looked at him. "It's Damien, my assistant," He mouthed, frowning when she turned her glance away again. He had to talk to her, to try to explain. He half listened to the voice on the other end of his phone, continuing to click through the short list of mutants. He paused at one picture, staring into the eyes, feeling a sudden chill. "I have to go now," He abruptly hung up on his protesting assistant. "I found him," He announced just as the helix descending back to earth, sinking into the clouds, the cabin falling dark for a moment as the windows fell black. "This is the one." He clicked on the picture, enlarging it as they broke through the clouds again. Rain splattered viciously against the windows as all eyes turned to see.
It was Alex.
Brennan jumped out of the helix as soon as it touched ground, not even waiting for Jesse to power down the engines. He stalked toward the harbor, not feeling the storm as it lashed against him, agony burning in his veins. It's not him. Nicholas was wrong. He refused to even consider the possibility, ignoring Shalimar as she called his name, easily finding the same boat he had stolen the last time. Surprisingly, it hadn't sustained any real damage, and after getting Adam and Emma back to Sanctuary, he had briefly returned to the harbor to clean the boat and put it back. In that moment, it had seemed important to keep his promise to Adam. He stared now at the place where Adam had lain, remembering the blood that had been slick on the white fiberglass. He groaned, pushing the thought aside. Little had he known then that he would be stealing it again just a little over twenty-four hours later. Hell of a day, he wearily exhaled, pushing his dripping hair off his forehead as he started the engine.
"Why do I get the feeling he's done that before?" Nicholas arched an eyebrow as Brennan steered the boat toward them. He sighed at Shalimar's stony silence, turning suddenly toward her, hissing under his breath. "Do you really want this for your life, Shalimar?" His anger boiled over. "Don't you see what these people have reduced you to?"
Her wild snort was the last thing he expected to hear. He still doesn't see me. She stared into the face of his disbelief and could only wait for it to tear her loose from her moorings and carry her screaming into the abyss waiting behind her. He stared back at her, mouth open, anger rapidly being swallowed by fear until she could see the pulse beating wildly in his neck. She broke contact first, eyes closing in tired frustration. "The normal rules are over. Our enemies are coming out of the shadows, and we don't know their faces anymore. You look at Brennan and see a thief. I look at him and see a fighter."
Nicholas gave a bitter laugh that should have sliced his tongue bloody. "So in your world the thief becomes the hero."
She turned away. "Yeah, Dad, that's exactly what I've been trying to tell you." Black and white. He didn't understand the shades of gray in the middle. What they did wasn't always right, she was the first to admit that, but sometimes they were forced to fight in the shadows. Did the end ever justify the means? Not really. Even the question was gray. She kneaded her temple, watching Brennan as he stepped from the boat, holding out a hand to help Emma climb aboard, the craft slippery in the rain. He glanced over his shoulder, finding her in the darkness. She stepped forward, pausing, not looking back at her father as she spoke. "We are all going to have to take a stand. Someday, somewhere. We've already chosen our side. And someday soon, they may even come for you. You have to understand that. I can't quit and you can't live in ignorance."
She thought she had finally reached him. He swallowed sharply. Once. Twice. Then he shattered her hope of understanding with his next words.
"You're as crazy as the rest of them." The whisper was weighted with horror and disbelief.
She stared at him soberly.
He had the grace to flinch at her painful expression. His face twisted with his fear. His own desperation. "You can't keep doing this Shalimar. Leave. Come with me. Leave before they destroy you."
She turned fully around to look into earnest brown eyes, wondering how he could look at her, at everything that had been done to her…and not see the truth written across her face. Suddenly more exhausted than angry, she bit back a hundred things she could scream at him. A hundred monsters, a hundred tiny betrayals. Because he would not see them. Would never see them. Not until he had no choice. Until maybe it was too late.
Funny how the whole day seemed to be colored in shades of gray.
"I can't."
Denial. Of her word. Of what she had become. She watched as he tried to fit her answer into something familiar.
"Is it Adam? What hold does he have over you? Or is it because of Brennan? Is that it?"
Anyone else and she would have told them to go to hell. Because it was her father, she tried again. Maybe she didn't owe him anything, but it was all she had to offer. And maybe if he could be made to understand the truth, he might start looking for the answers. "You're asking the wrong questions."
Her father growled with frustration and his hand swept out in a gesture of rejection. "What am I supposed to be asking?"
Shalimar reached her hand up to press firmly on the bone at the bridge of her nose. Brennan called her name, and she held up a hand, indicating she needed a moment. A moment. A moment to explain something that had taken years to evolve and as long for her to accept. She could just tell her father something that he understood. Something that made sense in the context of his life, his world. But that devalued the reality of what she shared with her team.
And that was something she refused to do.
"I'm committed to Adam, to Brennan, to all of my team on so many levels I cannot even begin to explain them to you. I will stay with them because what we are doing is right." She heard her name called again, in, and almost smiled at the sharp concern, the hint of protectiveness. "And together, we are hell on wheels."
Nicholas just looked at her, lost even to the reasons she would try to laugh.
"We have to go," She walked to the boat without looking back.
They made it onto the island with surprising ease. Under the cover of darkness, they approached the backside of the hidden compound. Chilly rain seemed to keep the guards inside as one moment they were sneaking through muddy underbrush, and the next they were inside. It seemed too easy.
"Thanks, Jesse," Shalimar laid a hand on his chest as he phased her through, eyes glowing eerily as she stepped into the shrouded darkness of the building.
"Now what?" Nicholas' voice was too loud in the enclosed space.
Emma grimly exchanged glances with Shalimar, knowing the feral could sense the fear and anger in the building almost as well as she could. It was overwhelming, putrid, burning her nostrils with the smell, the feel. She fought the sudden urge to leave…to escape. The pain was almost unbearable, layers upon layers of ghostly emotion.
"Now we find Danny." Brennan stubbornly stepped forward. "Beat this psionic and prove Alex is not involved."
They spread out, slowly working their way through dark and dusty corridors. The building seemed empty, deserted. They found a stairwell, leading down into what appeared to be tunnels, like the overflow ones they had found earlier on the nearby islet. They kept going, the air growing staler, the floor dipping down until they were forced to bend their heads to avoid scraping against the rocky ceiling.
They were looking for answers.
But what they found was anything but.
In the lead, Brennan suddenly groaned as he came to an abrupt stop, leaning heavily forward against a rocky wall, palms flat against the wall, shoulders hunched.
Nicholas again found himself not understanding their reactions. It just looked like a dead end. He looked up and found Brennan's dark eyes fixed on Shalimar's. The hair on the back of his neck prickled, and he found himself absolutely certain that he never wanted to see that look in another man's eyes while looking at his daughter.
Shalimar made a strangled sound in the back of her throat, staring at the rough wall, at the words etched in a shaky scrawl, scratched into the face of the rock. It was familiar. Too familiar. Brennan pushed back from the wall abruptly, so hard, he rammed into the older man as he crowded against him, sending him staggering back against the opposite wall.
"So I have seen, so shall it be."
Tiny wisps of pale mist seeped from rough cracks, curling around the words.
"Oh no," Emma moaned softly, covering her mouth with a shaky hand.
Brennan staggered back, and everyone froze as the sounds of someone getting sick came clearly from the darkness. Then feet were pounding across rocky stones.
Nicholas looked at Shalimar who still had her gaze fixed on the wall. When she finally looked over, he was shocked to see silent tears running down her face. He would have grabbed her when she stepped back, except that Jesse suddenly had a hold of his wrist.
Ignoring the unspoken warning, Nicholas yanked his wrist free and followed his daughter as she ran down the hallway and around a roughly-hewn corner.
He turned the corner just in time to see Shalimar reach Brennan. He half expected the man to turn on her when she reached out and touched his shoulder. He did not expect Brennan to double over and fall to his knees, a half-strangled groan tearing itself from his throat. Nicholas had thought himself beyond shock after the events of the day, but found himself held spellbound as his daughter collapsed beside him and wrapped her arms around him. Brennan's arms pulled her tight to his body and both mutants buried their faces against the other. Brennan held her head tight to his chest even as he hid his tears against her hair.
For the first time, Nicholas felt his isolation, his failure to understand as he watched helplessly. No one else had followed them. He had no idea how long he stood there. All he knew was that one minute he was thinking that his feet were cold and the next he suddenly realized that Jesse had disappeared. It took him a moment to realize the molecular had phased behind the wall, coming back out a few minutes later, his white face as he stared at Emma telling him what they already knew.
They all knew.
Jesse roughly cleared his throat. "There's even more than last time."
Emma clutched his hands, face grimly pale.
And that was when Nicholas finally understood.
It had happened again.
Another cavern of hidden remains. Shalimar had told him about the events leading up to this compound, about their experience in another one of Mason Eckhart's underground compounds, but he hadn't really gotten it, not in the relatively safe reality he inhabited. And now there were more very real deaths just a few yards away. He gagged at the thought, seeing their grim acceptance. Despite all their efforts, more people had been butched. And there had not been a damn thing they could do about it.
Well, now he knew why Brennan had thrown up.
Jesse stepped up quietly beside him, eyes fixed on the two mutants still wrapped around each other. Both were connected to this case more deeply than they wanted to be, devastated by Alex's seeming involvement. He was Brennan's biological brother, Shalimar's adopted brother. She had known him longer than the rest of them. Heartsick, he swallowed, throat tight at the memory of all those bodies. Tortured souls. No wonder Shalimar's father couldn't understand. He could barely comprehend it all himself. He turned his head suddenly and Nicholas found himself looking into sympathetic eyes. "We weren't prepared to find more bodies. Guess this place is even more connected to that underground facility than we realized."
Nicholas looked back at his daughter who had her arms clenched around Brennan so tightly they would probably have to break her fingers to get her to let go.
"She told me. But I—I didn't know."
"Now you do." The molecular spoke softly. Then Nicholas caught the man looking at him, looking at his fallen teammates. "They'll be ok."
Nicholas didn't have enough energy left to protest. He was finally beginning to realize that he was talking to people with a warped definition of okay. They were using the same words, but they sure as hell were not speaking the same language.
"They go too deep, both of them. She needs someone who can call her back from the edge, and he needs someone who can call him back to the living. And they both need someone they can trust to break it down after it happens."
Nicholas just laughed bitterly. "And that makes it ok? You think this is healthy?"
Jesse was silent for a long moment. Then he answered quietly. "We do what we have to, to survive, to get the job done. No one ever said it was healthy."
Nicholas just shook his head. "When does it stop? When there's nothing left of her soul?"
When the younger man finally answered, his voice was clipped. "Do you honestly think that someone could ask your daughter for help and have her turn them down?"
Nicholas looked away. There was no answer to that question. Not the one he wanted to give anyway.
It was a silent, bedraggled group that finally began searching again, shuffling down the narrowing tunnels in a tired, staggered row. Shalimar brought up the back of the group, keeping her eye on Brennan as he lumbered wearily ahead of her. She was worried about him. Finding the bodies had effected on a level so deep within himself, she knew he was unfamiliar with it. It wasn't a place most people allowed themselves to go, but the last few weeks had pushed him especially hard. He had sensed the mist, those bodies, before even she had. He was exhausted, drained. Given the events of the past few days, they all were. Distracted, her eyes were on Brennan, and she didn't see the protruding lip of rock until she stubbed her toe against it. She grunted in pain, looking down at the offending stone, sucking in air when she saw it surrounded a metal, slated grate. She stared, in shock, bombarded with images, memories.
Ahead of her, Brennan glanced over his shoulder, noticing she had stopped walking. "Shal?" He scrubbed his face, looking down at the manhole she was staring at. "What is it?"
"I've seen this before." Shalimar's voice sounded dazed.
"Shalimar?" Brennan came back to her, touching her shoulder in concern.
"How did we know to come here?" She suddenly looked up at him. "That psionic, right? He claimed to know where Danny was and was holding him ransom for the list. We tracked him here, to this compound."
"Yeah," Brennan shook his head. "But what does any of this have to do with a grate?" Impatiently, he glanced over his shoulder. The others were almost gone from sight already.
"It's Danny." Shalimar stared at Brennan, suddenly realizing she had never told him the rest of her dreams. "Brennan," She grabbed his arm, mind whirling to put it all together. "My dreams of your childhood, they've been changing. When I saw that picture of Danny on the computer at Sanctuary, I recognized him. That's why I went to Dave's. I meant to tell you, but then so much happened at once…the marina, those tunnels…Adam getting shot…my father…" She shook her head. "I never told you."
He struggled to make sense of it all. "Told me what?"
"In my dreams, I saw Danny. He became one of your friends; it was his face I saw staring at me through a grate, this grate." She kicked at the rusted metal for emphasis. "Think about it. He's a psionic, right? What if he's been trying to tell us something?"
"Where he's being held." Brennan stared at Shalimar in growing recognition. "Our dreams, we didn't know why they were happening."
"Danny." Shalimar shook her head, trying to absorb it all. "But why send dreams, I don't understand."
"I don't know, but what if—what if Danny got inside my head when I met him?"
"What do you mean?"
Brennan's face twisted with further guilt. "I was so distracted that day…Alex had just left, you were sick…all I could think about was getting back to you. I told him I'd follow up with him, but he must have known I wasn't really paying attention." He groaned, eyes dark, bleak. "He was so scared, Shal, and I let him down."
"Brennan—" She reached a hand for him, but he shrugged it off, whirling and banging his fist against the wall in anger.
"Damn it! This is my fault. I have to find him." He broke off as his voice cracked, bending abruptly to pull on the grate.
"Hey, we will." She reached for him again, catching his arm, but he pulled loose. She knew he was thinking about the bodies they had just found. She pressed her lips together. Danny would not be one of them, she wouldn't let that happen. "Think about it, Brennan. He must have known you were the one who could help. Somehow he showed you a future possibility and somehow he got your memories from your head, sending me dreams as well. I think he was trying to tell us to check on him. You said it yourself, you wouldn't have followed up otherwise." She paused, eyes going back to the grate. "These dreams, Danny's story, all were recent reminders of my own painful childhood, of yours too. I think he somehow knew that. He was trying to tell us that he was in trouble, trying to show us where he was being held."
The jump of the muscle in his jaw was the only indication he heard. He pulled harder on the grate, muscles bulging, but it didn't move.
"Brennan," Shalimar rested a hand on his shoulder, but he ignored her, stubbornly pulling harder. "Let me help you." She knelt down, dipping her head to see his face. He finally lifted his eyes, startling her with their agony. Silently, she put her hands on either side of his. Together they pulled, groaning with the effort, until finally the rusted metal gave way with a loud scraping sound.
"Brennan! Shalimar!" Jesse's voice suddenly called from around the corner, their anxious footsteps sounding a few seconds later.
"Danny's down here." Brennan barked out the sparse explanation, already halfway through the small opening by the time the rest of the group returned.
"How do you know that?" Nicholas' face showed his skepticism.
"Long story." He dropped from sight without another word, Shalimar following him.
Jesse and Emma followed next without question, trusting their teammates. Nicholas stared at the small, rusted opening with utter disbelief and frustration, finally climbing down in tired resignation.
They ended up in yet another tunnel, much like all the others, save for ductwork that ran across the ceiling, piping in fresh air.
"Someone care to explain what we're doing down here?" Nicholas' voice was again too loud.
No one answered him.
Shalimar let the others pass her by, going through the tunnel more slowly. If Danny was really powerful enough to send them dreams, then he would know they were nearby now. She didn't understand why he didn't try to contact them now. Or why, for that matter, the psionic was letting them get inside so easily. He had to know by now they were here as well. She swallowed, throat tight.
Ahead of her, Emma understood and turned, meeting her eyes, softly shaking her head; nothing yet. "There's a lot of pain here." Her voice was tight.
Jesse brushed his fingers across the small of her back, supporting her as they kept going.
No one even considered anything else.
Brennan moved more slowly as well, running his fingers along the dim walls. Something sharp stabbed his finger, and Shalimar smelled the tang of blood even as he swore under his breath. She watched him, concerned. She knew better than anyone what kind of guilt and fear he must be feeling. Her eyes closed at the painful reminder. No wonder her father didn't understand them. Most people didn't have to live with the fear that daily distractions could cost someone else their life. They had to find Danny. She didn't know what Brennan would do if they didn't.
In the back, Shalimar was so absorbed on Brennan that she failed to sense what she should have.
The capture was swift and unexpected.
One moment she was moving, the next, her feet were dangling off the ground as the arms and head of a sole figure leaned down from a hiding place in the upper ductwork and dragged her up. Furious, she opened her mouth to holler, a hand clamping down over her mouth, body bent backwards against a muscular frame in a helpless pose, eyes wide as the rest of her team unknowingly made a right turn down another narrow corridor and left her behind.
She growled, biting down on the thick fingers shoved into her mouth, grimly smiling when she heard the painful grunt. Her booted foot rose, stomping down on the attacker's insole, knee rising to slam into his groin. A sharp gasp of air, and nerveless fingers released their hold, grasping, grappling, pulling her down with him as they fell in a silent tumble to the rocky floor.
She scrambled to her feet, ready to charge, chest heaving in outrage when she found suddenly unable to move, trapped in place by a powerful. desperate energy. She winced when the hiss of fire flaring to life on fingertips sounded behind her.
"Shalimar."
She trembled.
She knew that voice.
She knew it when he had befriended her in a cold alley years ago.
And she knew it when he had said good-bye just a few short days ago.
Unbidden, tears trickled down cheeks as the echoing footsteps of her teammates could no longer be heard, and she was left alone with the man she called brother.
The enemy.