Silent Eyes

By Hikari Tsuki Chi

Companion to Silent Watcher, Silent Witness, and Silent Voice.

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.

Summary: What was Battousai thinking before, during, and after the fight with Saitou? More of a first person narrative than a poem.

Notes: Starts before the fight with Prelude to the Impending Fight, Shadow of the Wolf Draws Near.

Silent Eyes

He's a fool.

I don't mean that in a negative way, since that would merely be belittling myself, but the Rurouni can be so dense at times. He sees everything, but I am the one who understands completely the hidden messages behind each action. Megumi flirting with Kenshin? One would think that she was interested with him, but the real motive is to make Sanosuke jealous. There are other actions with even more revealing actions, but I'm getting off topic.

The dreams.

At least our scar didn't bleed this time, like it did in the past, but those dreams were of HER, and of HER death. A dream about our last encounter with the Miburo, leader of the Three Squad of the Shinsengumi, our no MY greatest rivals, couldn't have been a coincidence. While it could be possible, it wasn't.

How I am sure, I do not know, because for the majority of these ten long years, I have slept, deep within Kenshin's mind, behind the mental shields he erected to keep me at bay, drawing on my strength from time to time in battle.

But the fight with Jin-e, with Kaoru's kidnapping his anger roused me. Jin-e had guessed correctly that his anger would awaken me. And it did, for I too held Kaoru in high regard, her burning ki blazing bright, bringing me to a state of awareness. The Rurouni was willing to release me for her safety, to allow me to kill again just to free her.

…But she stopped me. Us. At the sound of her voice, I was suddenly thrown back into the dark void that had been all too familiar these ten long years.

I am still getting off topic. If only the Rurouni wasn't so dense! Too dense to read the writing in the wind. Something has resurrected the Miburo's need to settle the score, a score I would be more than happy to help settle. After all, it was never decided who wielded the better sword. Me, with my battoujutsu. Or him, with his Gatotsu.

Looking through his eyes, our eyes, seeing the creek filled with floating sakura petals change into a river streaked with blood. Holding a sword, blood running down the blood grove, the blade facing the correct way, as it should be, I was aware of Kaoru's ki curious and questioning, drawing closer. Just because the Rurouni is too scared to say her name without the 'dono' doesn't mean I have to. He'll probably still use it when they're married.

…She's asking why he's so preoccupied. He tells her more of his past, OUR past in those few moments than he had shared with her before that day. And she's surprised by it. And rightfully so. Both the Rurouni and myself are very private. She had no need to know before now, no need to know of the rivalry. One that has been left unresolved.

…I saw it coming, I suppose. But the Rurouni didn't. Didn't suspect at all that the Miburo would go after someone close to him. I don't know why I suspected that he might, but then again, he seems to have thrown the old rules out the window and replaced them with new ones. And as he seems to have done, so will I.

Yatta! Finally! The Rurouni is beginning to put it all together. But even I cannot figure out why the Miburo would change the rules. He understands the Rurouni's mindset. He KNEW that if he sent out a challenge to us, then the Rurouni could NEVER refuse, even if he sent someone else in his place. The Rurouni should have been more cautious. But he feared that if he did not answer the challenge, then the Miburo would drag his grudge onto the dojo's front gate.

…Why would he have bothered sending a dog in his place? Wonders the Rurouni. While I know the answer, the Rurouni spends more time chaining me down than talking to me. He thinks I'm a monster. Maybe I am. Maybe I enjoy killing and the smell of blood. Maybe he doesn't realize how much HER death, by our hands, no mine, affected me. He places all of the self-blame and loathing on his own shoulders. If Kaoru knew that, he would be a higher soprano than he is now. But once again, I am off topic. Maybe I'm insane now. Or maybe I have always been so. Who knows?

Ten years. He, the leader of the 3rd squad of the Shinsengumi, Saitou Hajime, is right. While they are only two little words when spoken, it is a very long time to live through. I should know. I've spent most of it staring at darkness and taunting my mou hitori no ore, taunting him, to try and loosen the chains even when I know he won't, but will only pull them tighter. Saitou is also right when he calls the Rurouni weak. He knows. Knows that the person he sees before him is not the same person he fought with on the streets of Kyoto. He knows that the person he fought is chained away, watching with silent eyes as the Rurouni struggles to hold that person down.

Suddenly the reason is laid before me. He works for the government, acting as Aku Soku Zan in this new era, cutting down all who would dare endanger his Nihon. Something has risen, something that the government wants Hitokiri Battousai to take care of. They want to test and see if I am still the person I once was. Well, I am. The Rurouni's not. But Saitou, and the government, doesn't want him. They want ME.

How dare he? How dare the Rurouni to allow Saitou first blood? But I relax. The longer he fights him, the more he draws upon my skill and speed, the more the chains weaken. It's almost gone after he sends me flying into the wall near Kaoru. She's scared about that. After all, she is the only one who has seen me unleashed.

We charge him. He didn't expect our speed. We come up behind, and-

He kicked us. Thankfully, I had enough control to flip us, so we were spared the pain of hitting another wall. Hitting a wall is not fun. It's less fun when you're injured. But as he, we, I, I'm not sure which, breathes heavily, he tried, desperately, to keep control. As we raise our head, eyes closed, I push him back into the place he chained me for ten years. He'll try and fight it, but I am the stronger one, for the moment. I open my eyes, no longer the Silent Eyes. And the fun begins.

I had forgotten the relish of fighting to the death, especially when up against an equally matched opponent. I try not to think of Kaoru's tears, so painfully similar to both me and the Rurouni of HER blood, Tomoe's blood.

We face each other, breathing heavily. Sanosuke is correct when he says we are fighting in the past, for once. He is also correct on the fact that this will be the final attack, the one that will decide it. Kaoru tries to stop me, but I moved out of her reach. While I love her, I cannot leave the score unsettled.

I hate that man. He stopped our fight, and now that the mood of battle has past, we cannot bring ourselves to finish it. He has no reason to stay, as I have no reason to stay in control. I let the Rurouni have a small window of control, enough for him to punch us, his preferred method of forcing me back into the darkness. He doesn't even realize that I go willingly. The only reason I want control during fights (and a little longer, to take care of a few things that the Rurouni refused to do) is to feel the thrill of it, of toying with my opponent. In short, I want to feel.

But that is something I am denied when I am in the darkness. Something I am denied so long as I am the Silent Eyes.

Mou hitori no ore- other me (used in Yu-Gi-Oh! fanfics by Yami Yuugi)

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