Chapter I: Self Doubts
One Month Later
Twenty-year-old Ron Stoppable found himself lost.
Quite literally.
When he had started his journey almost a week ago he had a definite plan. He knew he was a loser. Monkey Fist proved that when he defeated him humiliatingly. It was bad enough that he was beaten up, it was another to fail to protect Kim Possible.
KP. Ron sighed as he thought of her. That fight was a shocking wake-up call to him. He was no hero. He did not strike fear in the hearts of his opponents. It took an army to scare off Monkey Fist. Not him. Not weakling Ron.
Before Monkey Fist could strike a deadly blow, Global Justice came in and scared him away. It would be better it they had caught him.
As for Kim? Kim was still in the hospital, recovering from her injuries. Kept under guard by GJ's finest, a precaution if ever Monkey Fist ever came to finish the job.
He offered to help but Dr. Director told him that he had helped enough. That if it wasn't for him, Kim wouldn't be in the hospital. He heard the snide remarks that where whispered behind his back.
What a loser. Can't even protect her.
He doesn't deserve to be her sidekick.
She just pities him, that's why she brings him along.
Hurtful words, but true.
What could he do? Not even Tai Shing Pek Kwar, Monkey Kung Fu, could help. Face it. He wasn't a master at it. He was a bumbling fool pretending to be great.
True, he wanted to be great but for a different reason.
He wanted her to see him as a man. Boyfriend material. Someone who would not embarrass her all the time.
Even Global Justice, who thought that Ron was the link to Kim's success, shunned him for his ineptness. They practically hated him for not protecting Kim.
The thing that made him realize that he was a failure were the looks of disappointment and hatred in the Possible clan's eyes when they saw him. Gone were the happy smiles that looked upon him with love. All that was left was contempt.
Seeing such contempt in their eyes was too much to bear. Seeing the disappointment in Mrs. Possible's face broke his soul. He had failed to protect her little baby. He had betrayed their trust.
He need not explain himself for there was no need. He was already condemned.
Looking at Kim, helpless and fragile did something more that what the Possibles contempt made.
Seeing her hurt broke his soul.
One night, Ron snuck into Kim's hospital room and kissed her goodbye.
That was one and a half weeks ago. It took him three days to figure out what he wanted to do. He really thought about it. Would death be a more appropriate alternative than living?
He threw out that option when he realized that it was not an answer. Besides, with the times Kim saved him, he owed it to her not to waste his life.
Ron chose instead to go on a trip. A 'walkabout' as the Australians called it. It was something he needed to do to search his shattered soul.
His parents understood it, though they were reluctant to let him go. He left Rufus with his parents, wanting to be alone in this trip, and set off.
He still had no idea where he was going.
Or what he was doing.
With a sigh, Ron looked around to figure out where he was.
As far as he could tell, he was in Canada. How did he end up there? He remembered seeing Niagara Falls, he must have crossed the border some time ago. With his mind all muddled, he didn't know which part of Canada he was. Sighing, he walked a bit more until he came across a park.
He sat on the first bench he could find to rest his tired feet. Looking up the sky, the sun was about to set, he watched it until it completely disappeared into the horizon. Then, the street lamps lit the park, giving light into the dark night.
Looking up into the starlit sky and took a deep breath. There were a few things that still made his day and the peacefulness of the night was one of them.
"Where the hell am I?" he asked to no one in particular.
"Ontario," someone answered in a slurred voice. Ron looked around but found no one. He was freaked. Was he beginning to imagine things?
"Down here, kid," Ron looked behind his bench and down to find a man, sitting casually on the grass.
But the stench of alcohol was strong. The man was obviously drunk. He wasn't a Wino but drunk. He was nursing a bottle that was wrapped in brown paper bag. The man looked like he didn't bathe for a long time. He was wearing a white shirt, stained probably with alcohol. His unkempt hair made him look like he had a majorly bad hair day.
"Ah sir, I think you should be on your way home," Ron said kindly to the man.
"Home is an empty place," the man said sleepily. "What is home without someone to share it with?" Ron felt the same way before. He always thought that he and Kim would end up together, get a place they would call home and share it with their young ones. But what are those except shattered dreams?
"But Sir, you're wasted,"
"Nah, not really," the man said, looking at Ron with amused eyes. "I can still stand. And if I can stand, I'm not hammered."
"They allow people here to drink in the streets?" Ron asked, looking at the man's state of being.
"Not really. But I don't create a ruckus and don't fall on my face when walking," the man said, standing up and sitting on the bench. "You, my friend, looked like you're doomed."
"Maybe," Ron sighed, looking back at the stars. "It's just, I don't have anything else to live for and I have nothing to lose."
"My friend, if someone has nothing to lose, he has all the reason to live," the man smiled as he took a swig on his bottle. "If not, he truly is doomed."
"Which is what I am," Ron sighed, slumping his head down.
"Come now, it's not all that bad, is it?" the man asked. Ron looked at him with soulless eyes that made the man cringe. "Ouch, maybe it is."
"It's just, how could you live with the scorn of your love one's family and all the people around you? They think I'm worthless. And they're right," Ron's gaze never left the ground.
"Keep saying that and you'd believe it," the man said. "What happened?" Deciding that there was no reason not to trust the man, Ron told him about Monkey Fist, about the fight and about the scene in the hospital. Despite being drunk, the man listened.
Ron didn't notice it but the man actually was listening to his problems. Ron didn't care, he just wanted to get it all out and this stranger was his best choice for the moment. After listening to Ron's problems, the man sighed and pocketed his drink.
"So? Just because you lost a fight, you think you don't deserve to live?" the man asked smirking. "Kid, I've used that reason a lot and I found myself ready for the next fight after." Ron looked at the man doubtfully and then looked at the pocket where he just kept his booze. Noticing the look, the man laughed sheepishly and waved it away.
"This is different," the man smiled. "I drink for medicinal purposes."
"I'm sorry," Ron's face fell in sympathy. "What's your sickness?"
"Alcoholism," the man laughed as if he had delivered a great joke. Ron just snorted, not believing that he had fallen for that trick.
"I had that coming, didn't I?" he just shook his head and sighed. The man sighed as well, he never thought to meet someone so down in the dumps before.
"So... what did this Kim say about your... abilities?" the man asked.
"The lack of them would be more specific," Ron said. "I don't know. She hasn't woken up yet when I left. I'd rather not see her expression when she found out that I failed her."
"You're jumping to conclusions," the man said. "Would she really do that to you?"
"No," Ron said after a thought. Kim wouldn't be mad at him for long. Sure, at first she may get a little bit angry but then, their friendship was strong. But now... "I'm a coward."
"Sure are," the man agreed without pause. "But the real question is would you want to give up?"
"I don't know," Ron finally admitted. "I really wanted to be known..."
"Stop right there," the man held out his palm, stopping him. "A great man does not need to show he is great but knows he is just a man doing his best. What makes us great is not what the people say but what you believe."
"What does that mean?" Ron, being Ron failed to grasp it.
"Believe in yourself and to hell with what others say," the man said as he chuckled. "That's what I did and look at me now."
"Not the greatest example," Ron smirked however the man laughed.
"This, my friend, is a disguise," he said. "When people think you're week, they'll underestimate you." Ron straightened up and looked at the man. He made sense. Usually, he was cast aside because he was weak. But a problem still remains.
"But what if you're truly weak?" Ron asked. The man rubbed his temples and sighed.
"You don't have the sense to grasp the obvious, do you?" he grumbled. "Then be strong."
"How?" Ron asked and once again the man sighed.
"That's your problem. But if I may make a suggestion..." when Ron nodded the man continued. "Develop your technique and beat the crap out of that Monkey Fist."
"I don't think I could beat him using the same style," Ron said. Suddenly, Ron was whacked at the back of the head and he turned to look at the man who was now holding a folded paper the size of a newspaper that was shaped like a fan.
"Ow! What's that for?" Ron asked.
"Think for yourself for once, boy. The answer's right in front of you! If you can't beat him using Monkey Kung Fu then don't!" the man sighed and got his bottle again and took a swig. "You could drive a man to drink."
"But you're already drinking," Ron said, rubbing his head.
"That's not the point," the man said. "Listen, return to Yamanuchi. See Master Sensei and figure out for yourself what to do. Don't wander around without a purpose. Even though they don't want you to be seen with Kim, that doesn't mean that you couldn't protect her."
The man stood and shook his head. "Go, but don't expect a warm welcome in Yamanuchi. They saw your defeat as dishonorable. It's safe to say that there're only two people there that'll welcome you."
Ron merely nodded as the man started to walk away. "Oh, by the way. The Sake there is exceptional." With that, the man left.
Ron pondered at the man's words. He was right, if he wanted to protect Kim he needed to be stronger.
And when he becomes stronger, he would protect Kim, despite their objections.
He would protect her with what remained of his soul.
Suddenly, Ron came to realize something. He never mentioned his time in Yamanuchi to the stranger. How did he know about it and how their reaction would be?
Who was he?
Whoever he was, he was right. Standing up, Ron had a determined expression on his face.
Despite the uncertainties and the unknowns, Ron was going to Japan.
And he was going to take his advice.
Maybe he'll try that Sake he talked about.
(end of 1)