Genma's Report
by. homeostatis

Warning: Character bashing like most of my fics, OOCness I try, really I do, itsy-bitsy-teeny-tiny spoilers, and Genma being an overall badass yet, I still prefer Hayate. Also, beware of Genma's sudden literary prowess.

A/N: More crack. X )

-Don't own folks… Own don't folks… Folks don't own… Own folks don't… Naruto.

Before approaching Naruto Neji made sure to hide his embarrassing report at the back of the file. It wouldn't do to let the other Genin (Neji ground his teeth in frustration at that thought) see what was written about him… even if it wasn't, you know, true… ahem.

The Hyuuga stalked behind the blond haired boy before clearing his throat loudly. When the other boy didn't respond Neji settled for kicking the bottom of the stool. The loud slurping noise immediately stopped, only to be replaced by an equally loud voice.

Fox-like features whirled around and blue met white as the younger of them considered the rude new arrival, "OI! What do you want Hyuuga?"

Neji stared at him for a moment, trying to decide if he should lower himself to the other boy's standards by speaking. He decided to just shove the folder at Naruto and wait for the exclamation of protest that would eventually come.

Blue eyes eyed him suspiciously before setting its gaze on the folder. The boys' blonde eyebrows scrunched in concentration as he attempted to make sense of the writing. It took several minutes for the cover to make sense and when it did Naruto turned a skeptical gaze on the Hyuuga.

"What the hell do you want me to do with this?"

Neji sighed dramatically and massaged his mighty Hyuuga forehead. It seems he'd have to degrade himself after all, "Read it idiot."

Naruto grimaced and he looked ready to shout before the Hyuuga interrupted him.

"Yell at me later, just read it."

Angrily biting the inside of his cheek, the Kyuubi vessel squinted at the report and slowly ran his eyes over his page.

It read:

Genma's Report: Inter-village Chunnin Exam No.0755

The following participated in the recent Chunnin Exam and have been graded unbiased and accordingly:

Name: Uzumaki Naruto
Village: Konoha
Fighting Style: 8
Tactics: 7
Story: N/A
Overall Cool-ness: 7
Match Won

-Minus points for making rude noises during the preliminaries
-Plus points for not doing it in front of the sponsors
-Minus points for associating with bulls before a match (as seen in section7-a, paragraph 1-b of the Shinobi Handbook of Etiquette and Misplaced Sticks)

Judge's Notes: I wish they'd start putting these hyperactive kids on Ritalin. I even have a long list of nin they could (should) force-feed it to (Inuzuka Kiba, Rock Lee—and we should probably nail Gai with it too, God knows his poor heart needs the rest—, Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino, and quite possibly a little bit for Sharingan Hatake-san).

Needless to say, Naruto is loud. Very loud. His proclamations of becoming Hokage certainly put some of the spectator's teeth on edge but other than that I believe he handled Neji's inappropriate dialogue pretty well… I still wouldn't recommend any of them for Chunnin though.

Kudos to him for finally realizing he was a loser for the past 12 years of his life… and actually trying to do anything about it. Rock Lee doesn't count in this category as he still refuses to admit this to himself.

Naruto's chakra control surprised many of the judges but needless to say we finally believe Hatake-san when his excuse for being four hours late is, "Had to control the Kyuubi."

(who the ---- taught him Kage Bunshin?)

Fifteen minutes later and with Naruto's eyes still glued to the report Neji was beginning to re-think his decision to remain standing. Not only was his head starting to ache but he was beginning to feel the repercussions of his recent mission. It seemed that certain parts of his anatomy were now more beat up than the others.

The white-eyed boy sighed as his stomach began to complain. He promised to make it up to his mighty Hyuuga dignity (brother of the mighty Hyuuga forehead) later, but at the moment his hunger needed to be quelled. Just as he sat down, Naruto snapped out of his blissfully quiet state and slowly turned to look at him.

"Wha…" Was all that came out of the usually wide mouth.

Neji stared at him incredulously, as if unable to comprehend why anybody would attempt to speak to him (him! Neji, THE Hyuuga Neji, IMAGINE!) in such a broken, roundabout manner.

The silence that prevailed was eerie enough, but in the end it was the fact that there was peace while Uzumaki Naruto was sitting next to him that made Neji open his mouth (not in a nervous manner mind you), "What?"

A slight twitch told Neji that his question was about to be answered… at full volume.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP?"

Ah, the wonders of a childhood full of neglect and hate. Poor Naruto just had to develop a strong set of lungs didn't he? Idly, Neji wondered if the younger boy had been that loud the last time they met.

"It's a report from the Chunnin Exam," The Hyuuga deadpanned. He made sure to cut out the idiot from his sentence; he'd wanted a coherent conversation with the other boy after all, "I… found it and some of the reports said a few things I thought the rest of you should know about." He left out the part about his own and where he'd completely failed to read the other reports ahead of time.

"Damn it," Naruto cursed before tuning back to his ramen with a thoughtful expression. The blonde boy tasted the noodles before spitting them out, "Yuck! It's cold!"

Neji rolled his eyes before scanning the menu the waitress slipped in front of him. Next to him, Naruto was chattering on about the cold noodles as the said waitress attempted to pacify him. While he was speculating which of the items on the menu held the least amount of MSG ("Natural ramen like this holds no MSG!" came the cry from Naruto, but we digress… no, wait… nevermind) the Kyuubi vessel's mindless prattling dwindled until there was another uncomfortable hush.

Feeling slightly insecure in a suddenly quiet atmosphere (come on, he spent half his time with Gai and Lee) Neji put his menu down and turned to the unusually quiet boy. Startled to find that Naruto was actually staring at him and had only gone quiet because the waitress re-heated his ramen, the Hyuuga warily returned the younger boy's gaze.

"What do you want now?"

"Um… question," It sounded hesitant but Neji knew better. He'd heard that Naruto quickly changed tactics when it came to stupid requests.

"What?"

"… who's Genma?"

A/N: They've hit a road block! XD I would think that most of them don't remember Genma from the exams… Read and Review! …and come back!