Disclaimer: Don't own Gilmore Girls, or the WB. Get it? Got it? Good!
Summary: Paris loved to fight mostly because she always won. But when someone pays a visit, well, lets just say this time was an exception. One Shot!
AN: Welcome to my little one shot. This is to get me back in the mood to write fanfiction because at first I was way to busy to write and now I'm just too lazy and not even that much of a fan of the show.
So to any of you who are reading Eccentric Vs. Eccentric...IT WILL BE UPDATED! I just don't know how soon! Gotta get the mojo going!
Well without further adieu...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Paris sat on the couch , channel surfing at an alarming rate. She was completely irritated. She finally stopped on a random channel, throwing the remote control down hard. Not because it looked interesting, Paris wasn't interested in watching T.V. in the first place, but because her wrist had begun to hurt badly. She satisfied herself by constantly sitting in different positions instead and alternating between finger combing her hair and pulling it.
'I can't believe this. Who does that idiot think he is? I can't believe he tried to kick me out of his class! Just because one time you stand up and tell a guy he's wrong and his little theory on renaissance literature is a load of bull, that could only look good against a giant pile of aging elephant poop, he gets all sensitive on you! Come on, he's got a PhD for crying out loud, which for the record I have no idea how! You'd think he would be able to handle a little criticism. So maybe the elephant poop was a little much and I should have gone with the original monkey poop, I was initially thinking of saying but sometimes things get out of hand and I can't control myself...but...giving me a...'
"F!" Paris shouted the last part out loud. "He gave me an F! Well I got a few F words for him too! and some F sign language too." she practically growled the last part out. "I can't take this, I need to, to, I need to scream at someone really badly. That's what. Why did I break up with Doyle again? Oh yeah, because he got annoying. Really annoying...almost as annoying as Professor Richardson-that big Dick. Well actually I'm sure it's probably small! Because he obviously didn't have the balls to say something to my face. Instead he gave me a F."
Paris was absolutely fuming. Anyone who looked into the room would see a crazy dishevelled looking blonde in her nightwear raging at no one. If they stayed a little longer they would notice the glazed homicidal expression cross her face.
Paris smiled evilly, as she hatched a plot to kill her imbecile of a so-called professor. "First I'll kidnap him, then I'll tie him up, after that I'll put cyanide in a glass , grab a funnel and shove it down his frig..."
Paris was cut off by a knock at the door. She glared at the door as if it was it's fault her scheming had been interrupted.
'What moron dares intrude on my fantasy? Well they're very well going to regret it-see if they don't!' she thought darkly. She basically stomped to the door and threw it open.
"Who has a death wish?" she asked .
Finn had just put his hand up to knock again and was startled to see Paris at the now opened door looking crazier than usual. Her comment didn't make Finn feel any braver either. He tried to hide his terror and instead put on his charming smile and opened his mouth to give some witty answer but before he could say anything...
"Oh it's you. The drunk foreign freak. Well Rory's not here so as they say in your country...bugger off. And don't come back!" Paris stated matter of factly, then slamming the door on a bemused Finn's face.
'My god, what's got that sheila's panties in a bunch?' Finn thought to himself. 'I know that girls off the rocker but if there were any doubts about the bird flying from the cuckoos nest this should clear them up!'
Now a normal person who valued life, would probably have chosen to head Paris' advice and leave and never come back, but when has our beloved Finn ever been normal? In fact Finn had always been slightly in awe and afraid of the woman who didn't throw herself at him. It was un natural to resist his charms.
So instead he got curious. 'What could have happened to rile her up like that? I think I should find out.'
He scratched his newly shaved chin and ran his other hand through his perfectly quaffed hair, and came to a decision.
Paris was just about to sit back down and resume her murderous plans, when there was another knock.
"For crying out loud!" She screamed. She got back up and opened the door, only to see the same dark haired guy from before.
"What do you not understand English?" she asked with venom, hands on her hips, "I told you. Rory. Is. Not. Home." Pausing after each word to clarify.
Finn gave her a lazy smile and took in her appearance, something he didn't have time to do before. His eyes almost went wide. Paris Gellar had a body! He continued roaming her scantily clad body completely dumbstruck.
Paris was eyeing him suspiciously and followed his gaze until she realized what he was staring at with his mouth wide open-Her. She had forgotten she hadn't changed in the morning, which meant she was wearing an open, undone bathrobe, showing a small black tank top that hung loosely to her curves and no pants-which gave a nice view of her neon green thong and long legs.
She blushed a little, she was secretly self-conscious about her body and very conservative. Unfortunately for Finn the blush only lasted a little while, because like most things with Paris Gellar, the moment turned to one of extreme annoyance and she decided to take all her frustration out on him.
"Well are you going to go or not. And stop drooling, please it's only a little skin-grow up hormonal twit."
However even as she said this she was tying up the bathrobe, she then gave him one of her patented glares.
Finn looked unfazed and simply pushed passed her and walked into the room. He was still in shock over seeing Paris so...
'HOT!' he thought. 'I used to feel sorry for Doyle for dating a psycho but damn he was hitting that! If anything I should have been congratulating him! If I had known...well then again I always thought she was gay before she started dating Doyle. Which is also hot.'
Paris was struck stupid. 'He just walked in!' She stood staring at the door with a look of alarm and only stepped out of it when she heard Finn laugh.
She turned around angrily. She was about to give Finn something to laugh about when he caught her off guard again.
"Neon Green eh? I always figured you more to be a granny type but who would have thought Paris Gellar had a wild side!" Finn said calmly, enjoying the blush that was creeping up Paris' neck.
'Nice long kissable neck.' Finn thought out of nowhere, shocking himself.
"Get the F#$ out." Paris said.
For the first time since Finn walked in he regretted it. It wasn't the words, but the tone that scared the living daylights out of him. If she had screamed, he would have been okay, but the fact she said that quietly with a hint of doom behind it made him wish he had brought a spare pair of underwear in case of accidents.
'Underwear! That's it Finn old boy. When in trouble crack a joke to charm the lovely ladies.'
"No need to feel embarrassed. Actually I rather liked your knickers. In fact I got the same ones at my place in the bubblegum pink colour. The material is to die for."
Paris just stared at him, and this time she had a look of fear.
'Is this guy for real?' she thought, believing without a doubt he was insane.
Coincidently Finn was thinking the same thing.
'Not even a smile? Maybe if I tell her I'm not lying.'
Finally Paris stepped out of it and said, "Why haven't you left yet and more importantly why haven't I killed you?"
Finn smirked, "Well because even you know it would be a waste to kill me before you have your naughty way with me." He raised his eyebrows suggestively.
'Please Lord, if she is going to kill me let her have her naughty way with me first!' Once again his brain betrayed him. He did NOT like Paris the neurotic mental patient Gellar-did he?
"That's disgusting." Paris shot back with no emotion, "And sexist."
'Ouch, right to the ego love!' Finn thought.
"You're right it is love, we live in a world of equality, if I'm going to be killed by you, I should get my naughty way too, you know as a last rights type of thing!" Finn's eyes shone with merriment.
Paris was less amused.
"Are you looking for a fight?" Paris stated, "Because I have never lost a battle-EVER! And I'm not above hitting below the belt if you know what I mean."
Finn gulped slightly, unconsciously shielding his pride and joy. "Well I'll have you know, I've never lost one either. That's the thing about being drunk-people give up saying whatever they have to say. And believe me kitten, you can hit me below the belt anytime." Wink.
Paris grimaced.
"Do you have to make everything sound sexual. God someone should get you neutered. And don't call me kitten."
"Alright then bird."
Paris growled. This was so not the time for this guy to be trying to pick a fight with her. She was pissed. She couldn't take it much longer.
"Would you just get the F#$ out already. I don't have time for this. I'm this far away from losing patience." she held her index and thumb closely together.
"Well love with hospitality like this I'm surprised you're here all alone." Finn remarked not at all phased. Instead he sat down on the couch.
'Who would have thought this would be so much fun! I've never met a girl who wasn't all over me in ten minutes and this is the first time I've talked to Paris. I should really do it more-especially if she's dressed like this.'
Paris practically screamed at him in irritation.
"GET OUT!" She grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him up, but due to her lack of athleticism, and his refusal to get up she ended up landing on him instead.
Finn smiled broadly as he got the perfect view down her top. Her robe coming undone.
"See love, I knew you wanted me."
Paris groaned and tried to get up.
Finn pulled her back down, smiling innocently at her glare.
"Don't touch me!" She seethed.
Finn raised his hands in mock surrender but smiled devilishly.
Paris got up again and turned around to find a sharp object. As she did Finn grabbed a hold of her robe which came following off.
His eyes went wide again as he saw a fairly large nautica star tattoo below her neck.
'NO WAY!' he thought. 'How hot is that?'
Paris whipped around in complete rage at his daring move.
"You little..." she was cut off by the physical evidence of Finn's attraction. She stared at his pants almost horrified.
Finn noticed and smiled cockily(!), "Like what you see pigeon?"
Paris couldn't even speak.
'This is so not happening!'
"Can you just leave." she almost sighed.
Finn grinned. He was alive, and more importantly Paris was hot and nearly naked in front of him, and oh yeah he was alive!
"Not until you admit you're secretly in love with me."
"Not until I what..." Paris spat out, "That's it. No more nice girl. If you don't leave in five seconds you egotistical retard I am going to make you wish you were never born."
'I can't believe he hasn't ran away scared yet. Am I loosing my touch. Why does he keep staring at me like that. With those big dark brown eyes...and oh my gosh stop right there Gellar.'
"Wow love, didn't think you were the kinky type but then again never thought of you as the tattoo type either."
Paris looked shocked.
"Who told you about my tattoo! Rory swore she'd never tell."
Finn was surprised at her reaction.
"Relax love, I saw it below your neck myself and might I say, have you ever thought of adding tube tops to your wardrobe."
Paris looked confused , "My neck? Oh. That tattoo, I thought you were talking about..." she trailed off at Finn's quizzical look.
"Never mind."
'She has another one! Somewhere she doesn't want mentioned.Dear Lord,why are you so cruel to me?.'
Finn looked up at her, "So you going to declare your undying love."
Paris didn't know why but instead of wanting to scream at Finn she decided to play along.
"Fine." She sighed dramatically.
Finn's mouth fell open.
"I admit it, I am hopelessly and utterly in love with...your friend Colin."
Finn nearly fell off the couch.
Paris enjoying his reaction , although not quite so sure why she did, decided to continue, "If you only knew what I really want to do to him. Two words, edible undies." She looked at him suggestively, while sliding her hands up and down her body.
Finn gulped and had a sudden urge to kill Colin the next time he saw him.
He looked at Paris in her thong, and got incredibly and unexplainably angry about the idea of her and Colin. So to change the subject back to him he said, "You said you always win fights. But you haven't won this one yet."
Paris looked confused.
"What ?"
"I haven't left yet"
"Oh."
"So you've haven't won."
Paris stared, surveying him. Somewhere along their little interaction she had got used to his not leaving and was surprised he brought it up.
"So you want me to kick you out."
"I never said that. I said you never won."
Paris felt herself getting annoyed. She always won.
"You're right get out."
"Um...No." Finn laughed.
Paris rolled her eyes.
Finn stopped laughing and seriously stated, "That is not until you kiss me."
Paris...rolled her eyes.
"Yeah like that's going to happen."
"Oh it will."
"Over my dead body."
"See now your getting it! but lets take out the word 'dead' and replace 'over' with 'on top of'."
Paris growled.
Finn smirked.
"You can't win love. Face it."
"Oh yeah watch me."
"Stop the denial..." Paris grabbed Finn and kissed him hard.
"There now leave."
Finn looked at Paris in wonder.
'I don't know why I'm still shocked over everything-this girl is clearly full of surprises .'
"Do you really want me too?" Finn asked hoping with all his might for a no.
Paris thought about it. He was cute. He smelt good. And he was incredibly annoying.
"Shut up." she said and this time nearly jumped on him.
Finn grinned happily.
Paris sighed, her perfect streak of undefeated-ness was gone but looking at the tall, dark,and handsome guy in front of her she thought, 'Well you can't win them all!'
"Hey love, can I see your other tattoo now?" SLAP. "Is that a no?"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Okay well, I don't know if I liked this but I don't care. So yeah let me know what you think I guess!