Disclaimer: We do not own Avatar the Last Air Bender, the stock market, the universe and er…when you put it that way I guess all we own is our selves.

Baal- "Sorry La Femme I sold you for a dollar ninety-five on e-bay as an oddity."

La Femme- speechless

Forgive me Father…I'm going Insane

Guess What? Aang has a day job as a … priest.

Watch as the last Air bender listens to the sacrilegious sins of the Avatarians and offers his expert advice.

Did I say advice? This kid has no idea what he's doing!

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It's a slow day for Father Aang, for he has had no visitors at all. The ex- Avatar was bored out of his mind when he hears the sharp clicks of metal boots coming up the aisle.

Curious, Aang peaks through the partition of his booth.

An armored figure stands before the confessional… Prince Zuko.

Aang is sick and tired of his ever-present stalker and decides to tell the Fire bender to beat it or be beaten; but the exhausted look on Zuko's face makes Aang change his mind.

Zuko lets out a deep breath. "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

Ooh this is too good to be true Aang snickers quietly and suppressing his giggles forces out, "Confess your sins my son."

"Father… I've had inappropriate thoughts about the Avatar."

A gagging noise is heard behind the wall and finally the priest's chocked voice is heard.

"Like w.. what my prince?"

"Well…When I'm alone at night…

Gagging noise resumes

" I yearn to wring his neck." Zuko finishes guiltily.

"Thank god!"

"Excuse me?"

"Er… nothing. Why do you think you harbor these violent thoughts?"

"How am I supposed to know? You're the expert!" snaps Zuko in annoyance.

"Er…Tell me about your childhood" The priest's voice issues uncertainly.

"Leave my childhood out of this! My childhood was fine!" Zuko shouts defensively.

Aang racks his brain for guidelines to fend off unstable benders.

"Calm your self my child, let's go back further in to your past. Tell me about your infancy."

"Huh?"

"Your suppressed anger might stem from an infant situation."

"Like what?"

"Were you… er…Breast fed enough?" Aang trails off, fearing a royal explosion.

Zuko remains silent, trying to absorb the new information. Wordlessly, he makes his way to the door leaving Aang staring at his back.

Overcome with curiosity the Avatar calls out,

"Hey Zuko, Am I right?"

Zuko's muffled voice is heard from the doorway. "NOT MY FAULT! I was lactose intolerant!"

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Admiral Zhao swaggers into the confessional and drawls arrogantly,

"Forgive me father or you'll be killed."

Behind the partition, Aang rolls his eyes.

"What troubles you Admiral."

"Oh nothing troubling Priest, I seem to have killed off Prince Zuko."

Aang yawns. "And how does this make you feel."

"Pretty good actually."

"If you don't repent your sins, what should I forgive you for?"

Zhao waves his hand airily, "Oh that! Forgive the mess my rhino made on your doorstep."

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The beautiful bounty hunter struts up to the confessional.

Propping her feet up Jun starts filing her nails.

Aang is annoyed "Hey lady, you can do that elsewhere you know?"

Jun starts talking as if she didn't hear him. "My lousy therapist says confessing is good for my anger management issues…so confess Father, I'm listening."

Aang sighs in frustration. "Look hear ma'am, you're supposed confess and I'm expected to listen (unfortunately). So go on ahead."

Jun thinks hard. "Nope. Nothing to confess."

You sure? Any misgivings about say…your career choice."

"Nope, don't you know my motto? No Pity, More Money, No Regrets."

"So basically you're wasting my time…?"

"No wait…I'm married."

"Since when was marriage a sin?"

"Er…when you're married to three men?"

"Hee hee. Good one Jun." Aang remembers his job and becomes serious. "No that's bad! Bad girl! Aren't you satisfied with one?"

Jun shrugs casually, "I have a short attention span."

Aang is speechless.How was he supposed to deal with this? He was no marriage councilor. The young Avatar wonders if she will go away if he says nothing.

Ten minutes later.

"So Father…Are you married?"

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Aang shuddered in fear as he saw Avatar Roku glide into the church. It seemed to Aang that his past life only brought him bad news and grief. First Roku told him he has to work his butt off this summer then he blew up a temple with Aang still inside it and to top it off Roku went all mafia on Jeong Jeong and forced him to teach Aang. That was the last straw, Aang wanted Jeong to like him for who he was not because an old guy double crossed him.

Avatar Roku's tranquil voice floated over to Aang

"Forgive me Son, for I have…"

"Sinned! Yes I know. (Just get it over with and go before you come up with another dark omen.) What is your sin?"

"I have sinned. That's enough. You don't have security-clearance to know any more." (Looks around conspiratorially) "I have something very important to tell you Aang, that is why when I heard that you have come here I came here to tell you this."

"Okay…I'm listening."

"What do you want? The good news or the bad news."

Aang sighed.At least there was good news this time. "The Bad news please."

"Solzen's comet will return, but not in the summer as I told it would but in spring."

"But…but… you said I would have time until summer to defeat the fire lord!"

"I LIED!" Roku did a superb Arnold schwarzanager impression.

"You sneaky bastard! How could you?"

Avatar Roku holds up his palm and deadpanned. "Talk to the hand"

Several minutes passed while Aang hyperventilated, threw up, ate all his comfort food, cancelled his appointments for the next month and cried on the phone to his shrink.

"Ok Roku…(deep breath) tell me the good news."

"Oh Aang you'll be so happy for me. I'm marrying Kyoshi in the after life; you're invited too."

Aang exploded. "You THINK? The way that I'm going, Ozai will send me to the after life with a first class ticket!"

"Now Now Aang, this is not the time for your random outbursts. No one likes angsty boys…"

"Oh yeah? Look at Zuko. He's the Master of Teenage angst and he still has girls crawling over him."

"Well Aang that's got nothing to do with his pouting sessions and more to do with a Greek god physique. And just look at that scar… it's downright sexy and the story behind it? Child abuse? Exile? no wonder the girls are crawling. What about that seductive ponytail? And face it, fire IS hotter than air. Ha ha ha, figuratively speaking of course."

"Avatar Roku" Aang yelled covering his ears with his hands, "are you sure you want to marry Kyoshi not Zuko?"

"Impertinent child! I'm leaving now, don't call me for the next four weeks. I'll be on my honeymoon."

Aang gave him the finger.

Roku pointed one back. "Likewise"

Aang stared gloomily as Avatar Roku's robes trailed out of sight.

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This fic is dedicated to all the reviwers of Top Ten Questions We'd Ask the Cast of Avatar. You guys are the greatest.

How did you like this one? Want this madness to continue?

Plz review.

Thanx,

La Femme & Baal