Father Aang is back with a Bang…with an all new attitude.

Yes ladies and gents, the young Avatar is having a baaaad day…too bad for his "clients."

(PS- SleepingDragon13, Zuko isn't dead, Zhao just thinks he is. Zhao is moron therefore, he's wrong.)

This chapter is dedicated to the "superior" element. As someone great once said:

The Fire nation Ownz You!

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A portly man squeezed into the confessional, out of breath. Aang guessed it was 'Meet the Fire benders Day.

The old General sighed forlornly. "Forgive me father but I can't quit."

'I hate my job' Aang sulked but pulled himself together said."Talk to me General"

"I think I might have a problem."

"Yeah?"

"I think I'm addicted."

"You think?"

"No matter what I do I can't seem to stop…"

Er…

"-chasing young women."

Er…

"-and drinking Ginseng.

"Er…"

"-and shopping till I'm dropping."

Aang scratched his head. "These are sins unfit for your old age General Iroh."

"I know." Iroh hung his head in shame, then he perked up. "But I have an excuse."

"Yeah?" Aang challenged. "Let's hear it then!"

"I have short term memory loss!" smiled Iroh happily.

"Oh?"

"Yeah you see I chase young women because I don't remember how old I am, I drink multiple cups of tea because I can't remember whether I had any earlier. You see, every cup is like the first!Same with shopping, can't recall what I've bought so I keep on buying…"

Aang grinned nastily. "You seem to have everything figured out General…"

Iroh bowed, "Thankyou."

"Does your nephew know about your…condition?"

"I don't know if you know this father…but my nephew isn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer. He suspects nothing…"

Aang leaned forward and lowered his voice, "So hypothetically speaking…let's just say if Zuko ever captured the Avatar and you "accidentally" helped him escape; your condition might override your memory and you wouldn't have any recollection of the incident, right?"

"Maybe…but only if my condition is severe enough" Iroh pretended to mull it over. "I've heard that Ginseng Tea and five hundred gold pieces might encourage short term memory loss."

"I've heard so too...that's why General I'd like to present two barrels of Tea and this money pouch with complements of the church."

"How kind of you"

"My pleasure…now if we are done?"

"Yes, good bye father…"

"Goodbye son"

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The man in fire nation armor loiters near the confessional.

"Who are you, and why should I care?" Aang barks.

The stranger speaks up nervously "Look, I need to talk to someone. I can really use a friend right now."

"Okay then," Aang turns away. "Well, good luck with that."

"I realize this is a confessional…I have no sins but I have enough problems to substitute. If I tell you my troubles will you promise not to laugh?"

Aang sighs. "I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings. So yeah! I promise."

I'm a random fire nation solider. I can't bend, my uniform isn't gold edged like Zuko's and I routinely disappear when fight scenes are over.

"Ooh how sad! Since I listened to your sob-story, you will listen to mine. I'm a random Avatar. I can bend only air. My uniform is a three piece crap suit and Zuko's on me like a baboon in heat!"

The man speaks up indignantly. "What the hell are you complaining about? I'd give anything for the Fire Price to chase me !"

"Sod off shit-head!" Aang stuck out his tongue.

"If you ask me Father I think you have some intimacy issues."

Aang pulls off his robes and stomps off. "That's it! I quit!"

The solider contemplates in silence…then, "Hey…That rhymes!"

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Aang is forced back to his job by a lawyer who points out the small print in his contract, which states that Priesthood is a lifetime's commitment unless Aang get's fired…or fried. With all the fire benders crawling around, Mr.Laywer says that the second option sounds promising. Aang air bends his conniving hide out the door.

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Zula

Aang grimaced as yet another fire national approached him.

The haughty teenager looked around and sniffed in disdain, "What a filthy hovel"

Aang gritted his teeth and stated politely, "If you have sinned please come and confess; otherwise… eat shit! He said in his head, but out loud he voiced… "… take the time to make a donation."

The arrogant Fire princess clicked her tongue, "Oh I'll donate my time to flatten this shack anyday"

"Why are all the fire benders I meet demented, twisted, obsessed or horny?"

The question took Zula by surprise. "Hmm…maybe all the inbreeding we do finally got to us?"

"What'dya mean?"

"For example, my mother was also my sister/cousin."

Aang threw up his breakfast.

Zula sneered. "That's pretty much the same reaction Zuko had when dad told him…believe me I'd throw a fit too if I was born with a tail."

"Zuko has a tail?" Aang croaked, breathless with laughter. I love this job!

"Had…" Zula corrected. "Pity father burnt it off."

"Are you sure? The way he's acting, I think that Zuko's tail is still stuck up his ass.

"I Know" Zula laughed meanly. "He's such an anal retentive, uptight prick isn't he?"

Aang snickered.."Hee hee…I'm not taking sides but I agree."

The princess surveyed the church critically "Well Baldie…Can't say I didn't enjoy our conversation…Too bad I've gotta burn down your "office".

"But, but…Why?"

"Like you said…Fire benders are sick twisted inbred freaks. Be that as it may, I'm just bored."

Aang fired up, "You're acting like a crazed psychopath!"


Zula snorted. "The voices in my head disagree."

She proceeds to set fire to everything and anything in her path, leaving Aang to sit behind a smoking confessional.

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Ozai-

Aang shivered as he saw who was approaching the burnt-up confessional. He had half a mind to take off but stayed anyway.

The Fire Lord's 'nails-on-chalkboard' voice issued commandingly. "Forgive me father or else."

"Confess your sins my…son." Aangsaid sarcastically. He decided to play with Ozai's mind.

"I hate Zuko"

"You can't say that! He's your son."

"So what? You gonna throw that in my face?"

"Er No... Why do you hate him?"

"He went A-WOL two years ago and he's now MIA."

"He went AWOL? Away with an outrageous lover?"

"No dumbass. He ran away. Abandoned. Deserted. Jumped ship. Kapish?"

"Sure. But why?"

"I can't remember."

"Seems to me memory loss runs in your family."

Ozai ears perked up. "What?"

"Nevermind! Don't you like kids?"

"No"

"So Zula was an accident?""


Ozai contemplated. "No, she a surprise."

"Oh. What's the difference?"


"Well, an accident is something that you wouldn't do over again if you had the chance. A surprise is something you didn't even know you wanted until you got it."


" Was Zuko an accident?"


"No. Zuko was a disaster."

Aang sighed. "You know what I think?"


"No. Do you?"

"No."

A ten minute silence follows which is broken by Ozai.

"Why do I get the feeling that some day you will be the death of me?"

Aang makes the shifty eyes. "Er what ever made you think THAT?"

No reason. I was bored.

Aang remembers what Zula did when she was bored and hurries to change the subject.

What would you say if you could start over again?

"I'd say there's a reason why some animals eat their young!"

Ok..aay. Anything else?

Yeah. Abstinence is the way to go. Or Castration if you're into pain.

A bell rings.

Aang jumps up and runs out the church. Gotta go. Lunch Break. For more information on abstinance Plz take the leaflets on the front bench;

Ozai stops to pick them up. "Oh good. I was out of toilet paper."

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Hee hee…This is what happens when nice boys go nasty. I miss the sweet innocent Aang so I'm bringing him back…unless you want this bad boy around.

BTW- How was the Finale? Just Wow! Wasn't it? Is Zhao really dead?