Hiya! Seeing as I can't wait till next X-mas to update, savour the result of my insane mind at work- the Easter Special! A twisted song, and the exchange of Easter eggs. A jolly good read! (Not). Please review! Oh yeah- put the kiddies to bed, this fic shows the use of the 'F' word. Unless you are a kid, for which I don't give a… well, you now what I mean. Also, share your chocolate folks! Munches sweets in the corner
The music belongs to Green Day- because I love their lyrics! Characters belong to Capcom! Not me! I only own the idea. Do not sue- please! I have no money! Oh yeah, any cameo characters aren't mine either. Sue and be damned! Grrrr!
Capcom think that the characters have done so well in the games, they hand out little choco eggs to them. They also hire a band to play music, to stick with the story's theme. Chaos soon ensues.
'Don't want to be a Resident Idiot,'
Barry holds up a shiny strawberry-chocolate egg. 'I just hope it's not Chris's egg…'
'Don't want a nation under the new mania'Nemmy walks around dimly, calling out, 'EGGS. S.T.A.R.S. EGGS.' But Jill, as a new year's resolution, let Nemmy starve. (See last chapter)
'Can you hear the howls of hysteria?'Wesker knocks on Alexia's front door. 'You have my egg. I want it. NOW!' he yells like the maniac he is. Alexia holds out the egg. 'You want it? You are not worthy of it's power!' In her rage, her hand sets alight, melting the egg. Wesker brakes down in tears.
'The subliminal mind fuck Umbrella'Alfred decides to make his egg look pretty. He finds a golden wig, lipstick, mascara, blusher, and other freaky Ashford make-up in his bedroom. He has a happy time decorating it, and the result is…well…bloody freaky, actually.
'Welcome to a new kind of tension,
All across the alienation,
Where people's minds aren't at all ok…'
Solid Snake hides outside Leon's house, gazing through the window. 'Your mission objective is to gather evidence of a new Metal Gear, and to also confirm the rumour that Capcom are giving away free Easter eggs to their personnel.' says Otacon over the Codec. Snake lights a cigarette and stares at Leon throwing his egg around, playing 'Cops and Robbers' with it. 'Don't worry, it'll be a synch.' he laughs.
Leon shoots the egg, causing it to blow into tiny little pieces. One of these pieces hit Snake, knocking him out.
'Snake? SNAKE? Snnnnaaaaakkkkeeee!'
'Television dreams of tomorrow,We're not the ones that meant to follow
(Or you'll have your brains chewed up)
For that's enough to argue…
Steve has managed to steal loads of eggs from the less important characters and from the cast of 'Outbreak.' Claire looks really pissed off. 'Hey, I need those. Give them to meeee…' she purrs.
'No way! I found it, and I'm keeping it!' he replies, showing off his terrible grammar.
'Dammit! Why do the men always win?' Claire stares up at the sky. 'God help me…'
'Maybe I am the Easter Bunny of America'Billy's phone starts ringing. The voice on the other side says, 'You will die in seven dayyyysssss…''. Billy gets a confused look, then returns to the chocolate lockpick he's making. He never did like eggs.
'Another part of a made-up agenda'Kenneth is stumbling around the S.T.A.R.S office, but no one recognises him, seeing as he's in an Easter Bunny costume. Rebecca start's pointing behind him. 'Bunny! There's a zombie behind you!' she screams. 'Heh, I'm not falling for that one again- Ahhhh! My neck!'
'Now everybody do the propaganda!'Yuffie the ninja prances around Raccoon City before being stopped by Chris. 'What are you doing, girl-from-other-game?'
'I'm here to get an egg! And steal your materia'
'You can't have my egg!'
'Oh yes I can!' screeches Yuffie, and pokes Chris with her magic Shuriken. 'Now give me your eggs! All of it! Including the Summon, Magic, and Support eggs!'
'And celebrate the holiday of Easter!'Capcom Leader Guy:I think our little guys are having fun. No more eggs are left, well, until Easter actually comes, anyway. Snake got off with a minor head injury, and Yuffie ran away with Chris..ohgod, we don't want Konomi and Squaresoft sueing us. Bad characters! I shall deduct your pay from the next Resi game!'
Everyone: Awwwww!
'Don't want to be a Resident Idiot
One nation controlled by the media
Information age of hysteria,
Oh what the hell, have a great Easter!'
Enjoy your chocolate, everyone!