3: Yin and Yang

By: Princess Sassafras

Notes: Quatre's POV again.

----------------------------

I remember the first time he said it to me: Quatre…you should not go out so much alone. I was perturbed, though later I realized it was concern that made him say it. I wanted to shout that I'm never alone, ever, or even alone with one other human being. People always surround me; they're there in droves. My sisters, my men, and the servants...Never alone, always making decisions, always giving advice, or taking it when I don't really need it. I want to escape.

But I love being alone with him.

I've never felt more at peace than when I stand with him. Our few quiet minutes on a morning balcony, before the chaos, are the new highlight of my day. He stares coolly into the distance, sipping his green tea. Sometimes we are silent, just like this. It's wonderful.

Other times I have something to rant about. At first he seemed a little bothered, or something else perhaps, but time passed and soon he seemed to enjoy giving me advice. And every once in a while he will give a rant of his own. They are always extensive and well organized, his spiels. They are always about the meaning of his life…or any life. Life itself interests him: why we are here. We have this in common.

But we have different answers. He seems to think we are here to unlock some great mystery. I think the joy is in the mystery. He asks why I don't have more questions. I reply that I do, but I think the questions are what is important and not the answers. We will never run out of questions.

He searches for his destination. He balks when I say there isn't one. I said one morning—when we'd begun this same talk again—that it is the journey that is most important. He was silent for some time, and then he turned his angled face to me, no longer impassive, and said, "Then death is the only end."

"No. No, it isn't. Death is the start of something new. Haven't you ever heard of the Circle of Life?"

"That damned movie with all those lions."

"No, you've watched too much Disney with Duo. I'm talking about something actual here." But I laughed. And he smiled. It made me warm all the way to my toes, his smile. It was like the melting of a great glacier, or the cracking grin of some imperious dragon.

I had known for some time, but began to wonder at it: my love for one so seemingly different from me. Oh, I know we're the same in at least one aspect: we are male. And obviously mutually attracted, though I did not know this until much deeper in. It is that our ethnicities, our backgrounds, religions, and lifestyles are so different. But that doesn't nullify the chemistry, it intensifies it. He is a mystery to me. I love a good mystery. Trust in Allah to make life more difficult.

Wufei would attribute our attraction to Yin and Yang no doubt. Where white is at the greatest concentration, there is black. And where black is its blackest, there is a piece of white.

----------------------