Sorry for the delay, I had to update my other fic AND recuperate from wounds caused by a certain perturbed demon slayer. Didn't even know my ears could bend that way...moving on, time for BB's performance! But before that, I've got some reviews to answer, whether ff. net likes it or not.

Purple Moonshine: I do, don't I? Thanks.

Fire and Ice equals Slush: Nothing's original. I'm sure this concept's been done at least dozens of times before. Glad I could expand your Al repetoire.

ILoveLock: OMGWTFBBQ THX SO MUHC!1!ONE! Seriously though, thanks for the review.

Aragorn501: Well, now you don't have to.

Darth Cruel: I'll do my best to incorporate more BBRae fluff. I think you'll be pleased.

realfanficts: Constant vigilance? Does the Endless Hordes Union know about this? I'm surprised your hordes haven't gone on strike.

Story of my Liff: Yeah, The Food Album is not one of his best...hey, I've reached chair-falling hilarity! Sweet!

Wind Lane: I've left that to your discretion. You can put your mind as deep into the gutter as you want...

Thanks and muffins to everyone who reviewed! Extra muffins to those of you who suggested BB's song. One thing left to do before we get to the chapter:

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Teen Titans, "Weird Al" Yankovic, any of his songs, or any of the intellectual property and copyrighted material mentioned in the below song lyrics. The odds of me ever owning any of the things mentioned below are equal to those of the average Rwandan.

POODLEHATTRACKONEPOODLEHATTRACKONEPOODLEHATTRACKONEPOODLEHATTRACKONE

As the other Titans present let out a sigh of relief, glad Star didn't learn what they really thought of her cooking, the emcee flickered back on. "Thank you, Starfire. Now then, our next performance tonight will be the only Titan who picked his own song, Beast Boy!"

"WHAT?" Starfire, Robin, and Cyborg all looked at the Jumbotron in shock. "You said you were the only one who could pick songs!" exclaimed Robin.

"Well, yeah, 'cause I assumed the rest of you didn't know any Weird Al songs! BB and I have been discussing it whenever he was backstage."

"Ahem." Raven cleared her throat as she and Beast Boy walked on stage, hand in hand. A keen observer would note Raven was missing her belt, Beast Boy had his gloves on the wrong hands, and both appeared very exhausted and had exceptionally disheveled hair.

Seeing the changeling and telepath with this rather compromising appearance, the BB/Rae shippers in the audience triumphantly cheered, waving banners featuring the two holding hands, hugging, kissing, and so forth. Meanwhile, numerous Rob/Rae, BB/Star, and other empirically incorrect shippers would've committed seppuku if it weren't for Overactive Mind's interference and the lack of swords with which they could impale themselves

The former reason the depressed shippers stayed alive genially amended his statement. "OK, we decided during Starfire's number. After that, well-"

"It's none of their business." Raven said matter-of-factly. Beast Boy enthusiastically nodded, still too stunned by the assorted banners and his earlier activity with Raven to verbally participate.

"Exactly," agreed the author. Resuming his emcee duties, he continued, "And now, ladies and gentlemen, the animal kingdom in one convenient package, the lean, green, Weird Al mmachine, Beast Boy, performing 'Couch Potato'!"

"HOLD IT!" shouted a voice from the back of the stands. Rushing to the front, the vociferous figure's pudge, numerous pimples, bloodshot eyes, and vaguely draconic remote proved it to be Control Freak. "This is my favorite Weird Al song of all time," pleaded the nerdy nogoodnik, "you just gotta let me do backup!"

Smiling, Overactive Mind nodded. "Of course. Let it never be said I don't help my fellow geek."

Yet again, the stage shifted. The refrigerators were replaced by plasma-screen TVs, which were programmed to display every TV show referenced by the song as it was mentioned. The stage all shifted to the same hieght, and Beast Boy and Control Freak stood side by side. Microphones popped up, and the two otaku didn't even need Overactive Mind's assistance as the music began

(A/N: BB (Control Freak) )

Look

If you had

One shot

To sit on your lazy butt

And watch all the TV you ever wanted

Until your brain turned to mush

Would you go for it

Or just let it slip?

Yo

Remote is ready

Eyes wide, palms are sweaty

There's Flintstones on the TV already

Wilma N' Betty

No virgin to channel surfin'

And I'm HD ready

So I flip, garbage is all I'm getting

There's Simon Cowell

Who folks wanna disembowel

He opens his mouth, always says something foul

They're dying, Wow!

Wannabes are crying now

He votes them out

Time to throw in the towel

Shows based on reality

Oh! The humanity!

Oh! Ozzy's family!

Sho' loves profanity!

Whoa! The insanity!

Oh! Dogs that crap and pee

Home of depravity?

No! They live happily

Yo! Plus "The Ali G Show"

And "Celebrity Mole"

Oh there's Anna Nicole

She's scaring me

"Look ma, no cavities!"

Oh! It's a station break

Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin TV"

They told me, they'd scold me

But I still tune in every show (show)

My cable gets C-SPAN, TV Land and HBO

The Travel Channel, Discovery, and Lifetime (yo)

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV"

They told me, cajoled me

"Turn off those music videos!" (no!)

I'm gonna watch C-SPAN TV Land and HBO

The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime (yo)

("You're Gonna...")

My butt is aching

As I watch NASCAR racing

That show about undertaking

Larry King to "24" to "Law and Order"

The Weather Channel's boring like 60 Minutes

Ancient reporters. Next up on "E! True Hollywood Story"

The rise and decline of twelve actors named Corey

Shows for next fall, they've already been naming

"CSI: Boise", and "Touched By An Uncle"

Both sound pretty lame and

so does "Everybody Tolerates Raymond"

and "King of Queens" jumped the shark the first minute

I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it.

I'll move right on to "8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenaged Daughter"

Then I bet I'll watch "The Bachelorette"

Followed by "Welcome Back, Kotter"

And "The Muppet Show" where they go "Mahna Mahna" (Mahna Mahna!)

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"

They told me, they'd scold me

But I still tune in every show (show)

My cable gets C-SPAN, TV Land and HBO

The Disney Channel, and A&E and Lifetime (yo!)

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"

They told me, cajoled me

But I still love Lisa Kudrow (drow)

I'm lookin' at C-SPAN, TV Land and HBO

The Playboy Channel and Court TV and Lifetime (yo)

Never missed "Melrose Place" or "Lost in Space"

I've seen each "Amazing Race" and "Without a Trace"

But I only watched "Will and Grace" one time one day

Wished I hadn't cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay

Oh, and "Fear Factor" I watched maybe a half hour

After that felt like I needed a long shower

Network execs with naked ambition

"Next week on FOX - watch lions eat Christians!"

Like to tie up those programming planners

Make 'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just like "Scanners"

Leech-covered grub-eating fools on "Survivor"

Look, there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of Mr. Rob Schneider

And there's Gilligan and SpongeBob, plus there's MacGyver

And Jay Leno has got Madonna and hey, there's Luke Perry

And a special all Pig Latin episode of "Drew Carey"

Wanna turn on ET cause I'm a gossip freak

And I gotta know who J. Lo is marryin' this week

A 30 second spot, then we come back to "Are You Hot?"

I was planning on recording "The Sopranos". I forgot!

I love shows with or without a plot

I stare 'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot

Because I only have got

one brain to rot

I'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"

They told me, they'd scold me

But I still tune into every show (show)

My cable's gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO

The Sci-Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime (yo!)

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"

They told me, cajoled me,

"Turn off that Oprah Winfrey show!" (no!)

I got it on C-SPAN, TV Land and HBO

The Learning Channel and MTV and Lifetime (yo!)

You can watch anything you want to, man.

As Beast Boy ended with the final spoken line, cheers rang out among shippers, fans of the shapeshifter (most of whom had fake protruding fangs, green facepaint, or both,) and pretty much everyone in general. Even Raven smiled and applauded. The giant robotic hand came out again, returning Control Freak to his seat, where his neighbors congratulated him. (They would have given him high-fives, but he was sitting next to the Source of Nufu and Malchior's book, so that was out of the question.)

"Superb work, BB!" praised Overactive Mind, "You were right, this was the best choice. Now then, I bet you all think I'm out of Titans, don't you?" Cautiously, everyone nodded. "WELL YOU'RE WRONG! I have a few more performances up my sleeve." With that, he typed frantically, and the Titans East were plunked right onto the stage.

"What the?"

"¿Que pasa?

"Yo no se. ¿Que crees, Flechito?"

"Are they talking to me or you?"

"You, obviously! Did that sound like 'Aqualad' to you?"

"Ahem." The author drew the disoriented team's attention. "Hi. My name is Overactive Mind. The Titans West can fill you in on what's going on. After that, you'll be singing, starting with..."

ENDCHAPTERSIXENDCHAPTERSIXENDCHAPTERSIXENDCHAPTERSIXENDCHAPTERSIXENDCHAPTERSIX

I bet you all thought this would be it, didn't you? How I laugh at your ignorance! Ha ha ha! Anyway, my other ideas for BB included "Dare to be Stupid," "Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters From a Planet Near Mars," and "Melanie." Still, I couldn't deny the perfection of "Couch Potato."

Moving on, I have plans for every member of Titans East except Bumblebee. Any recommendations for everyone's favorite insect-themed heroine? Please include that and/or if you're happy that this continuing in your review. No push the pretty button. PUSH IT!