Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
December 12, 2005
Summary: Five gay men. One very straight Randy Orton. (One-Shot)
Characters: Randy Orton, Stacy Keibler, Jai Rodriguez (culture), Kyan Douglas (grooming), Ted Allen (food and wine), Thom Filicia (interior design), Carson Kressley (fashion) and a few other wrestlers (i.e. John Cena, Trish Stratus, etc.)
Author's Note: Hey guys! I'm baaack! Woah, it's been such a long time since I last updated OR wrote a story about Randy Orton and Stacy Keibler! For that, I apologize. So many things have been happening and I've been so busy. Junior year is hectic plus prom is coming up and I don't even have a date yet! Haha. Well anyway, I was just watching an episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and I suddenly thought of Randy Orton so yeah. I guess you could say I was inspired to write this. Hope you all like it! Hugs!
The credits rolled to a start as the entrance music of the 2004 Emmy Award winning show, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, played on screen.
All things just keep getting better…
"So today, we decided to do something a little different but still, all with the same theme of straightening up a guy," Carson spoke in his perky voice.
"For this whole week, we thought of doing a very special edition of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy by choosing quite some victims. Celebrities, might I add," Kyan continued.
"Our first victim comes from a very well-respected, high-ranking, sports entertainment show, the World Wrestling Entertainment, and is totally successful in his career," added Ted.
"Not only is this guy extremely hot and sexy, complete with the GQ looks and bod, but he is well-known to all of us here and to the whole world as well," Jai added.
"As a matter of fact, he was proclaimed the youngest World Heavyweight Champion, has won numerous matches and is currently acknowledged as the Legend Killer," Thom spoke with a huge grin.
"Now being a wrestler, he tends to travel a lot, along with his adorable colleague and girlfriend, Stacy Keibler," Carson began.
"They share a luxurious apartment here in New York City but never really had the time to fix it up," said Thom.
"Now another thing is that he has a problem with cooking and expressing his feelings into actions towards his girl but is very much determined to show her how much he really loves her," Jai continued.
From the backseat, all three men sighed.
"Lastly, he will be proposing to her tonight and one could only tell what will happen later," Kyan grinned.
Driving their Chevrolet around the busy streets of New York City, they finally stopped at what seemed to be a very classy-looking condominium, made of white marble and branded in gold details. They were cheerfully greeted by the doorman, who gladly welcomed them through the beautiful glass doors and led them inside the expensive dwelling. The five gay men rode the elevator to the highest floor and knocked on the door labeled 1013.
Immediately, the door was opened as Randy Orton and his long-time girlfriend, Stacy Keibler, greeted the men with cheery smiles.
"Oh my god, he looks hotter in person," Carson uttered.
This caused everyone to laugh.
"Hello, Randy. I'm Jai," Jai introduced himself before gesturing towards the others and commencing them one by one. Randy shook all their hands, his smile never leaving his perfectly chiseled face.
"I'm glad to have met you all," he said in his low voice before taking hold of Stacy's tiny waist and giving her a peck on the cheek. "This is my girlfriend, Stacy Keibler. I'm sure you've heard about her as well," he presented, admiring the beautiful, soft-spoken blonde.
"Of course we've heard so much about you! Come here, gorgeous!" Carson greeted, giving Stacy a feminine hug.
"She's beautiful," said Ted, all the more making Stacy blush while Randy answered, "I know."
"Thank you," she replied meekly, tucking some hair behind her ear.
"Come on in! I'll show you guys around," Randy then initiated, shutting the door to his and Stacy's apartment.
As expensive as it was, it was nothing extraordinary. The walls of the living room were painted in a bland color of beige but was complete with a matching brown couch, a flat screen, plasma TV, stereo, speakers, a DVD player, some DVD's, a few games and the latest edition of Xbox. The ceilings were high and the windows were plain, with only a pair of white curtains draping them. To the right was their kitchen, made of white tiles and marbles with a little hint of royal blue and to the left was the dining area, adjoined with the living room, containing only a small, wooden table and two matching chairs. It was clear that both Randy and Stacy had no time to decorate or further endow their living space due to their hectic schedules and never-ending travels.
The apartment only had one bedroom and bathroom but both were of fair-size. The bedroom was of a dark green and black color, with a four-poster, king-sized bed at the center, leaning on the wall. In front of the bed was a black, wooden armoire with four drawers, containing Randy and Stacy's under garments and other small belongings. To the left of the bed was a walk-in closet while to the right was a glass balcony, covered in drapes of black and green. Beside the balcony, to the right was the door to the bathroom, made of creamy tiles and marbles. There was a huge bathtub and shower area, as well as a dresser and a full length mirror, obviously beneficiary to the princess of the apartment.
Despite the plainness of their home, it still managed to be elegant and posh, leaving the five queers nothing but to spice it up just a little bit.
"So how did you guys meet? Or rather, fall in love?" Carson asked, while inspecting Randy's side of the closet.
"Well, I met her during my first few days in Smackdown and we sort of hated each other," Randy explained. "Actually, she hated me more 'coz I was quite the arrogant one back then."
"Back then?" Carson teased.
Randy grinned, shaking his head. "I had the biggest crush on her and no one knew, except for my best friend, John," he continued.
"Awww…it's a love story, right here!" Carson yelled for the others, Thom and Kyan, who came in and listened intently as well.
"So I tried asking her out once, in a really conceited kind of way and well, she did a pretty good job telling me off," Randy recalled, making all four of them laugh.
Meanwhile, back in the living room, Ted and Jai listened to Stacy's side of the story.
"Even though I hated him, I still couldn't help finding him hot," Stacy spoke, grinning madly.
"Well of course, hun! Anyone who doesn't see him the way we do is definitely blind," Jai answered, rolling his eyes.
"Well, yeah," Stacy agreed, giggling. "To cut the long story short, there was one night I went to a bar with my friends and this guy started really hitting on me. I was totally uninterested in him but he was being persistent, to the point that he kept giving me perverted stares. Finally, when he started to touch me all over, I slapped him. He was about to hit me back when Randy came to save the day."
Both Jai and Ted squealed.
"He asked me out the second time around after proving that he wasn't the type of guy I thought him to be. Then…everything was history," Stacy finished.
"That is so sweet! You were her knight in a shining armor!" Carson exclaimed.
Randy shrugged, smirking. "I couldn't help punching the guy. He was all over her."
"You must really like her," Thom spoke.
"I don't," Randy replied.
The three men gasped.
"I love her," Randy corrected with a grin. "She's my life."
Their gasps instantly turned into dreamy sighs.
"So what does Randy usually cook?" Ted asked Stacy, leading her to the kitchen.
"Randy can't cook at all!" Stacy laughed. "He can't even try!" she told him, opening the refrigerator to reveal only a few things. "One time I had a fever and I couldn't cook for us. Randy, at 8 in the morning, had pizza delivered. It was hilarious."
"Pizza for breakfast?" Ted repeated, cocking an eyebrow and making Stacy giggle.
"Yup,"
"And you would really love it if he tried to cook for you, at least once?"
Stacy nodded her head. "I definitely would. Especially Italian."
After talking a bit more with Ted, it was Carson's turn to inquire her about Randy's taste in clothing.
"He has really good fashion sense," Stacy commented. "But he always looks so formal; always clad in his dress shirts and suits. Sometimes, I wanna see him in preppy or casual, laid-back clothes. Like an emo boy. Especially when we're just hanging out or having a date in Central Park."
"He wears his suits and dress shirts to Central Park!" Carson exclaimed.
Stacy laughed. "No, no. We've only been there once, the night after Wrestlemania 20. That was the time he asked me to be his girlfriend," she reminisced, a smile playing on her beautiful features
Stacy's next stop was to bond with Thom, who asked her about the design and furnishings of their apartment. "Honestly, I get bored, just seeing the colors of the living room. Beige is just so plain. I wish it was more of royal blue or purple. A dim but strong color. Same goes with the furniture. I wanna add life to it. I seriously would if I had the time but that's just it. I don't. And I hate it that Randy's DVD's and games are always all over the place. I always tell him to fix it but he never listens. I guess it's also because of the lack of containers and drawers the TV stand has."
Thom nodded his head, agreeing with Stacy.
"What about the bedroom? What do you have to say about it?"
"I really don't like our bedroom," Stacy scrunched up her face. "It's too dark. The colors remind me too much of the Slytherin House, from the Harry Potter books. I wish it was more starry and fancy. Anything but a dark color combined with black."
"So you like stars?" Thom asked her.
Stacy grinned. "I love stars. They're cute."
Thom just nodded his head as lastly, Stacy was pulled by Jai so that they could have their one-on-one talk.
"As a person, how is Randy?"
"Randy, at first, gives off a very arrogant impression. But I think it's because of the character he portrays on TV. But really, he's an extremely sweet and funny guy. He loves to make people laugh. Him and John Cena, they're the jokers of the business. They love pulling pranks on people and making fun of the littlest things. He has good manners and he's a complete gentleman. He's also good in hiding his emotions. Sometimes, it's not such a good thing because I don't know how to approach him or make him feel better."
"What about as a boyfriend?"
"As a boyfriend, he's very protective and possessive. He used to have trouble when it came to commitment but I think when we got together, he got over that. He's very loyal and he's also the jealous type. He likes to cuddle a lot because I think by doing so, he gets to express his feelings for me, since he does have a hard time expressing them. That's just about the only thing he does to show me how much he loves me," Stacy giggled. "He needs to learn how to cook and keep his things neat and clean because that's just how I am." she finished with a grin.
Before the fab five started working on Randy, they made sure that Stacy left the building first, clueless to everything that they were about to do.
"Bye, baby. I'll see you tonight, okay?" Randy cooed, hugging her tight.
"Okay. You guys have fun now," she said, pinching Randy's nose.
"Will do. I love you," he spoke before cupping her face and pulling her in for a kiss.
"I love you, too," Stacy whispered, before grabbing her purse, heading out the door and taking a cab to go shopping with Trish the whole day.
"You guys are just too cute," Jai sighed. "I wish I found my soulmate."
"I know," Thom agreed.
Randy just grinned, feeling absolutely lucky to have Stacy. "I can't wait for tonight," he told them.
"I have nothing to complain about your looks because it seems like you know what you're doing," Kyan winked at Randy, who turned crimson red. "But I just want to give you a few tips on shaving and maintaining that good skin of yours. We want it to be spotless and evenly toned at all times."
Randy nodded his head, listening intently before Carson pulled him out of the bathroom to finalize his clothing.
"I've talked to Stacy and she is wonderful," Carson stated, placing both his hands on his chest.
"Yeah, she is," Randy agreed, smiling.
"She's very child-like. And she has this little thing going on with her nose," he continued, making Randy laugh. "Like when she doesn't like something, she wiggles it."
"Yeah, she does that too, when she lies. That's why she can never lie," Randy explained with a snicker.
"You guys are adorable!" the queer exclaimed before pulling out some of Randy's casual clothes. "Now she told me you have good taste in clothes but that you always tend to dress up in your Armani suits and VanHeusen dress shirts, never turning to your casual ones anymore. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna head to Abercrombie and Fitch and grab some clothes that Stacy would love to see you in."
And so, driving the Chevrolet, Carson and Randy were dropped off in the said shop while Thom was left to replenish their home.
"She mentioned something about you looking like an emo boy so that's the kind of style I'm aiming for," Carson spoke, grabbing a few sweatshirts, vests and collared tops from each shelf.
Randy laughed, shaking his head.
"What's with the emo boy anyway?" Carson asked him.
"Stacy's a rocker at heart. It sure doesn't look it, but she is." the Legend Killer explained.
"Ah…I see."
After trying on different kinds of clothes countless times, Carson finally decided on taking five before heading out of the store and driving Randy to meet Ted in a local Italian store.
"Stacy mentioned that she loves Italian food so here we are and we're going to get three kinds of cheese," he instructed.
"What for?" Randy raised an eyebrow.
"For tonight. You are going to be cooking ravioli."
Randy nodded his head. Ravioli sounded intimidating.
After meeting Ted, he then met with Thom, who still needed to finish his work on Randy and Stacy's apartment, at a well-known furnishing store in New York.
"Now she complained about how boring your living and dining room looked so I decided to put some colors. She also said that your room was too dark and so, I also made a few alterations. Now I know you said you wanted all of this to be about her."
"Yeah, I do. I just love her so much and I know I lack in expressing how much I do. I wanna make it up to her and I want her to know that she's my future…and that she's my life."
"Exactly. That's why we're here to choose some furniture which will go well with your apartment and future home with your soon-to-be family so let's go!"
After shopping for the new furniture, Randy met up with Jai who made clear to him what was going to happen that night.
"She told us that you guys have only been to Central Park once so I'm sure that tonight, she won't be expecting you to bring her there."
Randy nodded. "Yeah, that's where I asked her to be my girlfriend."
"And that's where you're going to ask her to marry you."
Randy grinned. He liked that idea.
After listening more to Jai, they finally drove back to his apartment, where he was sure to be surprised.
Knock! Knock!
"We're here!" Carson spoke as all five of them waited for Thom to open the door. Jai made sure that Randy's eyes were covered as they led him inside his renewed apartment.
"Are you ready for this?" he asked him, anxious about his reaction.
"Hell yeah," Randy replied.
As soon as he answered, his eyes were uncovered and he was stunned to see the new look of his home. "Holy…"
The walls of their living and dining room were now painted a royal blue color, with the ceilings painted black. His TV, stereo, speakers, DVD player and Xbox were fixed on a new, black TV stand, where his games and DVD's were also neatly stacked inside its drawers. Beside the TV stand was a black, ceiling-high bookcase, complete with a ladder that could reach the top. They had new, black sofas made of pure leather and had throw pillows decorated in strips of pink, purple and orange. On either side of the sofas were matching, black side tables and on top of them were lava lamps in pink, purple and orange colors. Their dining room had a glass table with a black base as it matched the zebra-striped chairs and black plush carpet. The drapes of their window were no longer white but a sheer, black color that illuminated the lights of New York City.
"You guys! This is great! Stacy is going to love this! She always wanted our living room to look like this!" Randy exclaimed out of excitement, taking everything in. "She loves lava lamps! And she loves reading books!" he said, eyeing the bookcase.
"Yes, she did mention something about Harry Potter."
"This rocks! Stacy is so going to love this!" Randy exclaimed once again.
"Come on! You haven't seen the bedroom yet!"
Thom led Randy and everyone else to the bedroom where his shock was increased to a great extent. The walls of the room were now painted white and the ceiling black with shining, silver stars. The floor was covered in fluffy, black carpet and the furniture was rearranged so that the bed faced the balcony, the visible stars undoubtedly seen.
"She's gonna want to marry me when she sees this," Randy said, grinning at the whole room.
"She will, Randy. She will." Carson stated.
Soon, Randy started modeling all his new clothes as the fab five gave him a ten. After, they headed back to the living room where Randy got ready to say his thank-you speech.
"I really wanna thank you guys for everything you've done. Stacy and I were really lucky that you came and helped us out. Stacy, I love her more than anything else in this world and I'm ready to show her that. You guys taught me so much and I can't believe I learned all of it in a day. From the beginning, I really wanted all this to be about her and I'm glad that you guys made it happen. She really is my everything and I hope that when I propose tonight, she'd be more than happy to say yes."
"Awww, Randy!" Carson, Jai, Kyan, Thom and Ted hugged him. "You'll do well tonight! And we wish you the best of luck!"
As soon as the queers left his apartment to do everything on his own, Randy sighed. He was nervous.
"That guy is whacked!" John Cena, Randy Orton's best friend, spoke as he was being interviewed. "He comes to the arena, running after me in his Ralph Lauren slacks and Armani suits. Who the hell does that!" he laughed. "But I'm really happy for him. I really am. Randy, he's my man. And he's gonna do everything for his girl, Stacy Keibler."
"He's really dead crazy about Stace," Trish Stratus, Stacy Keibler's best friend, told the cameras. "He always walks around showing her off as if she was his whole world," she smiled. "And well, she is."
"I'm very happy and so proud of my son. He has everything he's ever wanted and I'm so glad he found Stacy. They are perfect for each other and I really can't wait until I become a grandfather," Cowboy Bob Orton, Randy's father, grinned.
"Randy Orton is one of the greatest superstars to ever come to the WWE. He's young, he's talented, he's successful and I know he is the future of the business. Knowing that he's planning to settle down everything with Stacy is no surprise for me because frankly, I myself am a big fan of the RKO and LEGS," Vince McMahon, Randy and Stacy's boss, was the last one interviewed.
Randy jogged towards the bathroom and washed his face with a product that Kyan gave him. After setting up a hot bubble bath, which Kyan told him would relax his muscles, he slowly got in and closed his eyes.
"Did you see that bod?" Carson spoke, covering his mouth. "No chest hair, no nothing! This guy is the perfect GQ model!"
Once Randy finished his bath, he styled his hair in its usual way and wore a pair of black briefs. He then brushed his teeth and put on the new clothes Carson had bought him. First was a pair of dark gray pants, followed by a white, collared, shirt. He then placed a brown vest made of wool over, making sure that the collar of his white shirt stuck out. After spraying his favorite perfume, Cool Waters, he jogged out of the bedroom to get dinner ready.
"He's nervous, I can tell, by the way he's moving." Kyan spoke.
Randy first cooked the sauce of the ravioli before making the pasta out of scratch. He first mixed flour and five eggs together, kneading them into dough before thinning it out on the pasta maker.
"He looks so cute with his new preppy attire," Jai stated. "He's like a little emo boy trying to cook dinner for his girlfriend."
"Oh no, the pasta's becoming too thin," Ted suddenly spoke, shaking his head.
"Shit!" Randy exclaimed, dropping the gadget used to turn the pasta maker. He picked it up and placed it back, turning until his pasta got even thinner. "Damn, this is not happening," he muttered, repeating the whole process.
Finally, after how many tries, he finished making his pasta as he began placing the mixed cheeses on the dough. After placing the other sheet of pasta on top, he cut them into pieces and dropped them into the boiling water. He stirred it lightly before getting the dinner table ready, complete with candle lights to generate the mood.
Ding dong!
The doorbell rang just as Randy finished doing everything. He sighed in relief, dashing towards the door to greet Stacy.
"Do you see how excited he is! He just ran to the door!" Ted uttered.
"Hey!" Stacy greeted, gasping the moment she saw Randy in his new clothes. She eyed him up and down while he turned around for her. "You look amazing!" she said in her shy voice, dropping her shopping bags to give him a hug.
"How was shopping today?" he asked, kissing her lips softly.
"It was fun. But I missed you," she said, giving him another hug.
"I missed you, too," Randy hugged her back, kissing her forehead and sighed.
"They are like, the epitome of a perfect couple!" Carson exclaimed.
"They fit each other just right," Thom agreed.
"Oh my gosh!" Stacy exclaimed, the moment she saw their living room. "Randy, it's wonderful! This is how I dreamed our apartment would look like!" she said, eyeing everything. "I love it! I love everything!"
Randy grinned, pulling her into his arms.
"Awww…guys! We made her dream come true!" Kyan said, literally touching his heart.
"Are you hungry?" Randy asked, taking Stacy's shopping bags and placing them in the living room.
"Uh-huh! What did you cook for me?" Stacy grinned, eyeing the dinner table.
"Your favorite! Ravioli!" Randy stated, kissing her cheek and opening a chair for her.
"Such a gentlemen," Jai sighed.
They ate their dinner together with Stacy enjoying her meal to the last bit. It was only then that Randy brought her to their bedroom where she was completely shocked and even broke down to tears of joy.
"Aw, baby. Don't cry," Randy cooed, kissing her tears away.
"I know," Stacy said, hugging Randy. "It's just that…you've made me so happy, Randy. Every time I'm with you, I feel like I'm the luckiest girl alive."
"Awww…" the fab five all squealed, tearing as well.
"Oh she is lucky," Carson said. "With a man like that, she is lucky."
Not long, Randy changed for their date in Central Park. He took off the vest and shirt and replaced it with a white, long-sleeved polo and a dark teal sweater over. Again, he made sure that the collar and the cufflinks stuck out and was neatly fixed, before greeting Stacy, who was already dressed in a pair of black pants, a white, long-sleeved top, black boots and a furry, white trench coat.
"Oh they look so hot together," Jai sighed, placing his head on his hand.
"Come on," Randy took her hand and led her downstairs where a carriage with a white horse was waiting for them. It took them all the way to Central Park where Randy had packed a jug of hot cocoa and Stacy's favorite oatmeal biscuits.
"I love you," he whispered into Stacy's ear, pulling her close and hugging her.
"He really is protective of her," Kyan noticed, taking a sip of his mudslide.
Suddenly, the carriage stopped.
"Oh my gosh, guys, here it is! He's going to propose!" Jai exclaimed.
"Hey Stace?"
"Yeah?"
"The stars look lovely tonight, don't they?" Randy said, pointing upwards.
Stacy looked up and smiled. "Yeah, they do."
Suddenly, a loud crackling explosion was heard as fireworks played up in the air, spelling the sentence, "Will you marry me?"
Stacy gasped in shock and looked at Randy with teary eyes. He was holding out a small, velvet box and inside was a silver ring with a huge, oval diamond in the center and little pearls on its sides.
"Yes!" Stacy exclaimed, throwing her arms at him.
Randy sighed. She was everything he needed. Thank you, fab five.