When Hermione woke up Draco was lying there, half asleep still stroking her hair. She sighed a happy sigh and closed her eyes. Her mind wandered for a while going to the past few weeks. Starting from the night she had learned Draco's musical secret and working slowly to that very day. When she thought of that day's events she started shaking. Filch had tried to rape her, but Draco had stormed the room before he could. Moments before he did. And he looked so valiant. Like a knight and shining armor. But he had knocked out a teacher- even if Filch wasn't technically a teacher, she was sure it was against the rules. But, he had tried to forcibly rape her, that had to count for something. No matter what she did though, she couldn't get the thought that she had almost been raped out of her head. She started shaking so badly that Draco woke up.
"What's the matter?" he asked, holding her closely, calming the shakes a little. When she couldn't answer, he guessed. "Don't worry. We'll go to Dumbledore, Filch will be removed." She just shook her head more. "He's not going anywhere. I stunned him. No one knows he's there and no one can find him. No one will go looking for him."
"I don't want to go to Dumbledore. Not now at least."
"But, Hermione-" She just shook her head. "Alright. Then what do you want?"
Hermione considered her answer for a moment. How would she describe what she wanted? But, because he was being so nice she decided to just say it. "You."
"What?" he said shocked.
"I want you. I want to be with you. Is that alright?"
"No. It's not alright." Hermione stared, tears filling her eyes. What did he mean it wasn't alright? He didn't want to be with her? After everything, he was just going to drop her, after saving her and the guitar... How could he say that? "It's not alright," he said. "Because it wouldn't be fair if you were with me, and I wasn't with you. I want you... more than you could ever imagine."
She looked up at him with her big brown eyes; big, sad, brown eyes. He couldn't take it anymore, he wanted to kiss away the sadness and never wanted to let it return. He swooped down on her, kissing her so passionately that they both felt it with every bone in their bodies. He trailed kisses down her neck, suckled the nape of her neck, nibbled on her earlobe and brought himself back towards her mouth. Hermione ran her hands through the thick, blonde hair that topped his head. They moved down, tracing his spine and drawing swirling patterns on the back of his neck. When he moved to the back of her neck a gasp escaped her lips; uncontrolled and of shear pleasure. She moved her lips across his lips twice more, savoring the taste. She swept up and kissed each of his eyelids, ran kisses down his spine and chest. She was going to move back down but Draco caught her chin in his hand and brought her back up to his mouth.
Hermione ran her hands back down his back and found the hem of his shirt. She began to lift it up over his head when he let out a chest rattling gasp. "Hermione," he tried. She took this as pleasure and continued to raise it. He pulled it back down. "Hermione," he said again. "We should wait."
Hermione began to pout. The sadness returning to her eyes. "Why?" she said in a hushed half-whisper.
"After what you've been through today," he said, his heart and breath rate returning to normal. "You don't know what you'll regret tomorrow morning."
"But don't you want me, Slytherin-Sex-God?" She didn't know what she was saying. She just wanted something that could take the pain away and Draco seemed like the best option. She didn't realize that she was beginning to sound like Pansy and starting to make Draco gag.
"More than you could ever imagine. It's the last thing I want to say or normally would say, but you're everything, Hermione. I've never turned down a girl before when she wanted to be sexed. But, I don't want you to hate me for doing something when you weren't ready. I don't want you to lose something that you care about in a moment of thoughtlessness."
"I've already done that thanks," she said spitefully.
"What?" he practically yelled.
"Nothing. I'm going to dinner." She got up and left the room, leaving Draco sitting there completely dumbfounded.
Hermione stormed out of the Common Room furious but some what relieved. That was the closest she had gotten to telling anyone what had happened. He didn't understand, but that didn't matter. What got to her though, was that he stopped it. He had been right, of course. She would have hated herself, even if it wasn't the reason he was thinking of. She liked him a lot, but she had been using him. Using him to make the pain go away and feel loved by someone other than a creepy old man. It was too soon. She shouldn't have even thought to try it that early. But, that was it: she wasn't thinking. She was feeling. Feeling sadness and hate and lust... Oh the lust was strong. But Draco had stopped her. He wanted her for more than her body. He wanted her for her.
She sat as far as she could from where her friends usually sat. Harry and Ron didn't notice, but Ginny did. "Hey, Hermione, what's the matter?"
She always picked up on Hermione's moods. "Nothing, just a lot on my mind, I think."
"You always have a lot on your mind. Have you ever considered investing in a pensieve like Dumbledore?" Hermione cracked a tiny smile. "I see that smile. You can't just have that on your mind. Did Harry or Ron do something? I'll hex them if they did."
Hermione laughed. "No, just a lot on my mind. I've got a lot of homework and... things are just complicated."
"Things, meaning Draco?" Ginny prodded. She always knew. So, after being sworn to secrecy, Hermione told Ginny everything. Ginny was a very good listener oohing and ahhing and gasping in all the right places. And she was even better at comforting Hermione at the end. "We should go to Dumbledore. At least Filch should be taken care of."
"No, you promised you wouldn't tell anyone." Ginny started to protest. "No, you promised. I can give you a face like Marietta's if you do. Anyway, knowing Draco he's already gone and told Dumbledore everything. Notice that neither are here."
Ginny conceded to keep her mouth closed, only at the threat of getting 'Sneak' written across her face. At the end of the meal Hermione left to go back to the Common Room and venture an apology to Draco. He wasn't in the Common Room when she got there, or the shared bathroom. He was either telling Dumbledore, in which case she wasn't sure what she'd do, or he was in his room. She considered knocking on the door to his room but decided he must have been hiding in there for a reason. So, she went to take a hot shower before trying to talk to him again.
A long hot shower was exactly what she needed after such a terrifying day. She felt like she was washing away the disgusting feeling of the near rape and then trying to use Draco for sex. The hot water took away all her thoughts of the day and instilled a fantasy that was more than enough to preoccupy her mind. She sighed at the thought: pure love, tinged with a little lust, a starry sky and a blanket by the lake. Oh what a night it could be. When the water started getting cold she snapped out of the dream like stupor and got out of the shower. She brushed her teeth and dried her hair quickly, holding up the towel she was wearing. She walked back into her own room and nearly dropped the towel, catching it only in time before it slipped completely past her chest.
Draco was standing, in front of her door, waiting for her. "What the..." He just stood there. "Have you been waiting here the entire time?" He didn't respond but she knew he had been.
"I heard you come in and take a shower. Listened for the running water and waited for it to stop. I knew you'd come out a couple minutes later."
Hermione moved a step closer. "I'm sorry... about... earlier. You were right, it was too soon. I was just so..."
"Hurt?" Draco supplied.
"Yes. And I needed to... block it out. I got caught up in the moment." Draco nodded gruffly. If she wasn't mistaken there were tears in the corners of his eyes. "I really do like you, Draco. I didn't want to hurt you. And I didn't mean to use you."
"Hermione, you have to understand. I have never in my life turned down a girl when she was begging for sex. You're the first I've ever said no to. You mean something. You mean everything. I'm not going to mess this one up. And I'm not going to let you, either." He closed the space between them in a few quick steps and pressed his body closely next to hers. "See now, this is as close as I will let you get to me. Any closer and I leave the room." He voice was hushed now. It was a tone deeper. She could feel his face next to her ear and the slight stubble on his chin was brushing her cheek. "So, how about you get some clothes on and come see me in the Common Room?" She nodded and he turned and left the room.
Hermione reappeared 5 minutes later wearing a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. Draco was lying on the couch reading a book, but once she entered the room he dropped the book on the table next to him. She walked silently over to him and sat down next to him. He pulled her in closer and she tilted her head back with a sigh. "I know it wasn't my fault. But I feel so vile... Like if I hadn't changed so much over the summer... I don't know."
He kissed her forehead, "Are you sure you don't want to go to Dumbledore? You could get something to dull the memory from Madam Pomfrey... He'll be gone..."
"No, I'll be alright. I don't need any of that, I'll just... I'll have Ginny teach me some hexes better and travel with her all the time or something. My memory will dull once I get back into classes on Monday and have to start concentrating on other things. It didn't actually happen, so it should dull soon- right?"
"I don't know, Hermione... Maybe you should at least let me look up something that can dull it and take the edges off. It might not have happened, but the memories will still be sharp and traumatic. I can at least find something to help. Please, Hermione... let me help you."
Hermione stood up and started pacing. "I just don't know. For once I don't have an answer to anything..."
"So let me help you. I'll make up a story and get a spell or potion to dull your memory. Or we can make something up and have Madame Pomfrey do it for you."
"No, no. Not yet. I'll head to the library or something and get a spell."
"Let me. Please? I want to help."
"Oh, alright. Make sure you're inconspicuous though, we don't need Madame Pince on our cases. You know she and... and... she and... Filch," she said with a final shudder that wracked her frame. "They're close. Maybe lovers."
"Right." He stood up and kissed her on the forehead before he left the Common Room. He strode down the corridors with his robes flowing behind him like a second shadow. When he reached the library Madame Pince looked up at him and nodded. He strode quickly into the back of the library and picked out his usual table and marked it by grabbing four or five large heavy books to cover the entire surface, even though they had absolutely nothing to do with what he was researching. He then moved to the Restricted Section and began searching. The only place he could find the right spell or potion would be there.
He pulled down book upon book of Healer's information. When he had about eight he walked back over to the table and wordlessly removed the books from the table. He sat and began pouring over books, searching for the right spell.
The door to the library opened and suddenly the library was filled with sounds of chatter. Draco looked around to see what it was and immediately regret it. Four girls followed as Pansy Parkinson strut over towards the table. "Oh, Draco, how funny it is to find you here."
"What do you want, Parkinson?" he snarled.
She casually picked up one of the books on the table and hefted it. "Still reading a lot. Drowning your sorrows?"
"Sorrows? Yes of course. I'm still upset that I didn't make it clear that I want nothing to do with you sooner. But if you don't mind I'm studying right now and need to get back to it."
"You don't want to be a Healer. Why would you be studying a Healing book if you're going into the ministry?"
"I'm not going into the ministry, not that it's any of your business. And maybe, since you never cared anyway, but maybe I do want to be a Healer and you just didn't care."
"Do you?"
"Does it matter?" He grabbed the books he was using, checked them out and started out of the library. No luck, she caught up.
"I know about you and Granger."
"What?" It hadn't even been a day yet and she knew. How was that possible? "I have no idea what your talking about, Parkinson. I wouldn't touch Granger with a ten foot pole."
"You and Granger are together. That's why you broke it off with me. But I have to warn you," she said her voice dropping to a low and deadly serious tone, "Stay with her, and Slytherin will kill you. Tear you apart bit by bit and then go after her."
"Yeah, uh huh. See you later, Pansy." He left her at the bottom of the staircase and walked back to the Common Room. Even as he brushed her off the threat stuck. There had been rumors running that Blaise was running Slytherin now and a revolt against Draco was imminent. 'It won't happen' he thought to himself. 'Even if I have to fuck every single girl in there from First Year to Seventh. There's no way that I'll let Blaise take over my position. And I'll be dead and buried if they touch Hermione.' He had reached the portrait-door and pushed himself up against the wall regaining composure. If Hermione saw him like that she would go off again, and having her break down was the last thing he needed.
He walked in and Hermione looked up from a book she was failing to read. Her eyes were a bit red and puffy and a vein in her temple was throbbing just the slightest bit that indicated she'd been thinking too much. But the real tip off was that she was shaking badly. A questioning look graced her face and Draco shook his head. "Nothing yet, but I brought back these though and thought that I could look up here."
"Parkinson again?" she asked. He just nodded. She sighed. "What'd she want this time?"
"The usual... sex, drinks, stature. It's like I can't get away from her."
Hermione just shrugged. "You didn't..." she half suggested.
"No! How... how could you think...!"
"Well... if you didn't want people to know... about us. It would... make sense for you to... you know."
Draco sat down next to her on the couch and kissed her gently. "Nothing, could force me to do that. Partly because she's an absolute cow... but mostly because you mean too much to lose like that." He kissed her again so very passionately.
When it broke, Hermione sat back and bit her lip. "You know... not that I really want it but... it might be a good idea to... find someone. Or many someones... You know throw suspicion off. It would make sense." A look of horror spread across his face. "Not necessarily Pansy. Pick a nice Forth Year or maybe that Fifth Year that's been after you for forever."
"Why are you suggesting this, Hermione? Do you honestly want that to happen?"
"No. But do you want Slytherin and Gryffindor to come after us? Do you want to be hunted and haunted for the entire year? If we really want to be together do you honestly think that they will let us?"
"No, you're right." He sighed, blowing the wisps of bangs that were hanging low over his forehead.
"You don't need to... have sex with her. Just, make it look like you would be. Pick the most virginal one you can find or something, who wants to wait. But make her be willing to say you are."
"But what about you?"
"Oh, everyone thinks I'm still with Victor anyway, so I'll just spend all my time writing him long letters or something."
"No, I meant how are you going to handle that?"
"Oh, I'll be alright. Don't worry about me." Another shake racked her frame.
"You will not. There has to be another way."
"No, stick with it. I'm fine... really."
Draco nodded and went back to looking through the books in front of him. It took days of searching, but he finally found the right spell. It was long and complicated and was going to require serious concentration. On both parts.