I know, I'm a lazy schlemiel. I apologize for the huge gap, but real life has a nasty way of interfering with one's authorial duties. On the bright side, with a snow day-supplanted three-day weekend, I can complete Weird Titans unhindered. But first, since some of my reviewers posted before the response system, I'm responding to you all here and now:
Silverchild of the winds: I'll be sure to update Mox Quest ASAP. Star took a break from blasting things through most of this fic.
Angela Scarlett: SO DO I! Glad you liked 'em. My other fics aren't as Yankovic-intensive, but I think you'll enjoy them as well.
realfanficts: Yeah, Bumblebee's song was not easy to pick. My hordes and n-dimensional sinuses stand ready. )
Wind Lane: Sorry, but my sledgehammer of wrongness will have to stay unused on this one. You win teh pie!
Now then, time for me to perform my first final chapter to a multichapter fic. (Sounds like an obscure Oscar, doesn't it?)
NICETRACKTWELVENICETRACKTWELVENICETRACKTWELVENICETRACKTWELVENICETRACKTWELVE
"Well," said Cyborg, "that should be about it, right?"
An unnecessarily loud buzzer rang through the transformed Tower. "WRONG-O!" cried Overactive Mind. Amidst the Titans' moaning, he elaborated. "Relax, there's only one song left. This one is conciliatory. You guys have been such good sports through this whole fanfi-I mean, experience, I'm letting you choose a song. It doesn't even have to be by Weird Al!"
Robin grinned. Finally, he could be in control again. "Titans, huddle!" he cried, easily slipping back into "hard-tuchus leader mode." The powered pentad conferred, argued, and eventually pleaded for assorted songs. They broke apart, and Robin looked up at the Jumbotron. "Overactive Mind," he said, "we've made our decision."
"And that would be?"
Robin grinned confidently. "Our theme song." The other Titans seemed surprised at their superior's selection.
"DUUDE!" cried Beast Boy, "You promised we'd do Mozart Symphony #40!"
A thought occurred to Raven. "How'd you even know any Mozart?"
"It's my ringtone," the shapeshifter replied, holding up a forest green flip phone that played a digitalized version of the symphony in question. Unfortunately, Beast Boy's revealing his alternate mode of portable communication made thousands of his fangirls in the audience storm the stage, adorned in green facepaint and imitation Doom Patrol uniforms.
"Oh my GAWD! BB's cell phone!"
"Get the number! GET THE NUMBER!"
"Stop clawing at my eyes!"
"Give me that phone!"
The infatuated feminine frenzy was only interrupted when a certain telekinetic's pitch black mental energy separated the rabid fangirls from their glomping object, who had thankfully suffered no injury other than a happy daze and a lust-induced nosebleed. "Step away from the shapeshifter," Raven growled, becoming progressively more demonic as the sentence continued, "HE'S MINE!"
Overactive Mind hastily brought the Beast Boy bacchanal back to their bleachers and alliteratively ameliorated the Azerathi's anger. "Well," he said, "even though the team didn't completely agree on this selection, why don't you guys perform it before anyone else decides to storm the stage?"
Everyone agreed this was a wise idea, and assumed their positions. Robin got lead guitar, Cyborg took up the bass, Beast Boy took the drum set (as an octopus, of course,) and Starfire and Raven stepped up to the stage with magically manifested mikes in hand. Huge LCD panels slid up, transitioning between the Titans' theme song footage and a Puffy AmiYumi music video as the song continued. But first, the music had to start:
When there's trouble, you know who to call (TEEN TITANS!)
From their tower, they can see it all (TEEN TITANS!)
When there's evil on the attack
You can rest knowing they got your back
'Cause when the world needs heroes on patrol
TEEN TITANS, GO!
With their super powers, they unite (TEEN TITANS!)
Never met a villain that they liked (TEEN TITANS!)
They got the bad guys on the run
They never stop until the job gets done
'Cause when the world is losing all control...
TEEN TITANS, GO!
TEEN TITANS, GO!
If your heart is black, you better watch out
You cannot escape the team
When they catch you, there won't be any doubt
You've been beaten by the team
beaten by the team...
T, E, E, N! T-I-T! A-N-S! TEEN TITANS! LET'S GO!
T, E, E, N! T-I-T! A-N-S! TEEN TITANS! LET'S GO!
T, E, E, N! T-I-T! A-N-S! TEEN TITANS! LET'S GO!
T, E, E, N! T-I-T! A-N-S! TEEN TITANS! LET'S GO!
When there's trouble, you know who to call (TEEN TITANS!)
From their tower, they can see it all (TEEN TITANS!)
When there's evil on the attack
You can rest knowing they got your back
'Cause when the world needs heroes on patrol...
TEEN TITANS, GO!
TEEN TITANS, GO!
One, two, three, four, GO!
TEEN TITANS!
The crowd erupted into cheers, The villains erupted into boos. In the South Pacific, a volcano erupted into lava. Overactive Mind applauded furiously, having enjoyed the finale as much as any other nonvillain in attendance, if not more. "Superb work, team! Again, I thank you all for participating-"
"Not like we had a choice," Raven muttered.
Overactive Mind pretended not to hear her. "-and I have but one thing to say:" Suddenly, the extradimensional emcee's voice changed to Cyborg's: "Yo, BB! Wake up man, it's 11:30!"
"Huh?" The shapeshifter was stunned. Suddenly, even though his eyes were open, their lids somehow passed in front of them again. He was apparently in his room, resplendent in putrefying laundry and sentient pizza boxes. The regular waves of the ocean against the Tower's island mixed with Cyborg's insistent pounding on his door.
"Beast Boy," the cyberteen continued, "if you don't get up now, I'm making ribs for lunch!"
"I'm up, I'm up!" The changeling called desperately, still half-asleep. As he pulled on his uniform, Beast Boy thought to himself, 'No more late-night Weird Al jam sessions after eating BBQ sauce and tofu pizza.' And in the background was the faintest sound of a keyboard, typing away.
ENDOFFANFICENDOFFANFICENDOFFANFICENDOFFANFICENDOFFANFICENDOFFANFICENDOFFANFIC
I know, cheesy ending, but it came to me as a great way to prevent any retribution: Make 'em all forget it ever happened! Yes, it did happen, BB's the only one who remembers it since he's the only one who's familiar with Weird Al. Well, that's it for Weird Titans. I hope everyone enjoyed it. Many thanks, props, kudos, and other assorted intangibles to everyone who read, and more to those who reviewed. For those of you eagerly awaiting an update on another of my stories, I'll try to work on Mox Quest ASAP. Thanks again, everyone!