Brad, a Soccer Mom?
(A/N I don't own zoids or the characters, or the song " Mr. Mom" by Lonestar.)
Lost my job, came home mad
Got a hug and kiss and that's too bad
She said I can go to work until you find another job
I thought I like the sound of that
Watch TV and take long naps
Go from a hard working dad to being Mr. Mom
' I can't believe I lost my job. What is Naomi going to think?' thought Brad as he cautiously walked into the house.
" Hey honey," said Naomi cheerily as she was washing the baby's face off. " How was work?"
" Um, not too bad." Brad lied.
" Really?" questioned Naomi as she looked deep into Brad's eyes.
" No." was all Brad could say.
" So, what happened?" asked Naomi.
" I...I...um...I lost my job." said Brad.
Naomi kissed and hugged Brad," That's too bad. Oh well, I suppose I can go to work until you find yourself another job."
" Ok," said Brad. ' Man that went better than I thought it was going to go. How much easier could she have gone on me. Who wouldn't love to stay home with their kids all day, just watching TV and relaxing?" thought Brad.
Well,
Pampers melt in a Maytag dryer
Crayons go up one drawer higher
Rewind Barney for the fifteenth time
Breakfast, six naps at nine
There's bubble gum in the baby's hair
Sweet potatoes in my lazy chair
Been crazy all day long and it's only Monday
Mr. Mom
" Sasha, put down your brother." screamed Brad, as Sasha was holding the baby out over the edge of the window.
" No, I don't want to." said Sasha.
" I said put your brother down."
" Ok," said Sasha, loosening her grip on her brother outside of the window.
" Wait, bring him in the house and release him." said Brad hysterically.
" Yes daddy," said Sasha as she spotted the dog.
Sasha put down the baby in the house, and ran to play with the dog. Brad walked into the kitchen. ' Geez, look at all the things I have to do today. Go grocery shopping, take Sasha to school, take Michael to soccer practice, attend a PTA meeting, and take the dog to the vet.'
Football, soccer, and ballet
Squeeze in Scouts and PTA
And there's that shopping list she left
That's seven pages long
How much smoke can one stove mak
The kids won't eat my charcoal cake
It's more than any maid can take
Being Mr. Mom
Brad walked into the living room with the baby in his arms. There he spotted the reason why Sasha was so eager to put the baby back into the house. She had completely shaven the dog.
" SASHA!" screamed Brad as he put the baby down on the ground.
" Yes daddy?" said Sasha innocently.
" Why did you shave the dog?" demanded Brad.
" I wanted to make him look pretty." said Sasha sweetly.
" Come here Max, let's see if I can make you grow some hair before I take you to the vet today." said Brad examining the dog.
Well
Pampers melt in a Maytag dryer
Crayons go up one drawer higher
Remind Barney for the sixteenth time
Breakfast, six naps at nine
There's bubble gum in the baby's hair
Sweet potatoes in my lazy chair
Been crazy all day long, and it's only Monday
Mr. Mom
' When is Naomi coming home, I don't know how much longer I can take this.' thought Brad as he was chasing the baby around the house. " Come back here Jack. Michael, Sasha come help me catch Jack."
" We're busy dad." said the two older children in unison.
" Oh terrific, now what are those two up to?
Before I fall in bed tonight
If the dog didn't eat the classifieds
I'm gonna look just one more time
" Naomi please come home soon." said Brad as he turned on Barney for the children to watch. He went to sit in his lazy chair, but was stabbed with something before he made it all the way down. " OWWW!" screamed Brad as he pulled a tac out from underneath his bottom.
" Ha, ha," laughed Michael in Sasha. " Sorry daddy, but you have to admit that was funny.
Brad mumbled a few curse words under his mouth. But Sasha heard it, and ran upstairs to grab a bar of soap.
" Daddy, you always tell us not to use those words. You tell us that if we do, you will wash our mouths out with soap." said Sasha as she stuck the bar of soap in Brad's mouth.
'Cause
Pampers melt in a Maytag dryer
Crayons go up one drawer higher
Rewind Barney for the eighteenth time
Breakfast, six naps at nine
There's bubble gum in the baby's hair
Sweet potatoes in my lazy chair
Been crazy all day long
Oh been crazy all day long and it's only Monday
Mr. Mom
Naomi walked in and saw Brad sitting in a chair with soap in his mouth. " What in God's name is going on here?" she questioned looking form her children to her husband tied in the chair.
" We can explain mommy," said Michael in Sasha.
" No, I don't want you to explain. I want you two to go to your rooms and sit there and think about what you have done." said Naomi sternly.
" But mom-" the two started to say but were cut off.
" GO! Now!" yelled Naomi. The two ran upstairs.
Naomi walked over to Brad, and pulled the soap out of his mouth. Brad just looked at her like she was the greatest thing to walk this earth.
Balancin' checkbooks, juggling bills
Thought there was nothing to it
Baby, now I know how you feel
What I don't know is how you do it
" Naomi, I have no clue how you survive each day." Brad said, still trying to get the soapy taste out of his mouth.
" Well, let's just say I have my ways." said Naomi as she leaned in and kissed Brad.
" I'm getting a job tomorrow." said Brad and then they went to bed.
Honey,
You're my hero.