Title: Will You Fall for Me?
Show: One Tree Hill
Pairing: Peyton/Jake
Chapter Nine: A Bad Fox Drama
"I think we need to talk."Those words were never followed by anything good. Peyton knew it. She had said it on several occasions to previous boyfriends. And now here Jake stood, pulling her aside to talk alone. Nope. Never a good sign. "Sure." She plastered on a cheery smile, waving goodbye to Danielle and Ashley.
Jake felt like he was going to throw up. He hated serious 'conversations' about relationships. He was mature. Yes, he could even handle being a father. But it certainly did not mean he could not hate these talks - or as it had been most recently labeled 'defining the relationship'.
"So what's up Jake?" Peyton asked casually, though her insides felt more like she was ready to have a nuclear meltdown. "Is something wrong." She held her breath after that last question.
"No." He was unsure how to explain it. What was he wanting to say? He couldn't just blurt out how terrified he was to get into another relationship with someone he was sure he could definitely...definitely....Oh heck he couldn't even say the word.
"Do you want me to drive us somewhere?"
"Uh, sure."
"Where to?"
"I don't know. The beach I guess?" Jake suggested distractedly. It would be quiet there. "Is that all right with you?"
"O-kay," she drawled slowly. Turning in the driver's seat, she smiled crookedly. "So what's the big secret?" Peyton thought if she played the situation with a little bit of humor somehow it would disarm the tension that was between them, beside them, above them....Oh just about everywhere.
But it didn't seem to work. He didn't even crack a smile.
"Jake what's wrong?"
"I think it'll be easier to talk if we're alone," Jake said uneasily.
"You're making it sound like we're in a suspense movie or something, Jagielski."
"Not a suspense movie," Jake said, pushing the numerous scenarios that kept popping up into his mind about how this conversation would go. "A bad Fox drama maybe."
Peyton raised a questioning brow at Jake, who seemed to want to leave it at that. Shaking her head, she acquiesced. Settling in her seat she started her car and turned off towards the beach.
-&-
"So talk." Peyton turned and looked up expectantly at Jake, who seemed to be lost in thought. "I don't like the creepy clone-Jake I've been hanging out with for the past ten minutes," she joked.
"You know that we're friends above all, right?"
Peyton nodded. "Yeah..." She imagined he was already dumping her before they had even really begun dating. Score one for Peyton. Zero for Brooke.
"I just want..." Jake shook his head. No, that wasn't the right word. "Need," he corrected himself, "to talk about where we're going with this."
Lowering her gaze, she began kicking at the sand, needing some kind of distraction. She had no idea how she was supposed to answer that. "Where do you think it's going?"
Jake had hoped she wouldn't throw it back into his court so fast. But that wasn't the case. "Uh," he hedged, running his fingers through the back of his hair. "I guess I think we're great friends and that we've grown a lot closer in the past few months."
"I really wasn't expecting it, but..."
"You and me both," Peyton blurted out without thinking.
Part of him felt relieved when he heard that. She always seemed so strong, so self-assured. But after the movie nights and late night chats he knew better. "And as much as this is about me liking you...being...being," he gestured to towards her, "a-attracted to you, there is a bigger picture."
"And what's that?" Her heart was racing now, as she heard for the first time, Jake admit he liked her - really liked her in that way. And it was then that she realized she had more at stake here than just a friendship. Somehow, someway, she had began to open her heart up to Jake and let him in - closer than any other guy, other than her father.
Sea salt was in the air and a cool ocean breeze was coming off the water. Jake watched as her curly blonde locks clung to her cheeks, as she turned towards the water. "Jenny." That was all that he managed to say, with a clutter of meaningless words swirling in his head.
"But I love Jenny," Peyton said, spinning around. "What does that have to do with us?"
"But she's not yours," he said slowly. "You don't have the responsibility or duty of raising her, Peyton."
"I don't understand what you're saying?" She was taken aback. It hurt to hear these words. She had grown an unexpected bond with the beautiful little girl that had come into her life only six months ago. If anything were to happen to her, she didn't know what she would do.
"I don't mean you aren't important to her," Jake said, closing the gap between them. "I just mean, you don't...you don't have her tying you down."
"She's not tying me down." Peyton frowned, backing away from Jake. It was like he didn't even know her at all. Couldn't he see how much Jenny had changed her life? She was this light in a dark place - and Jake had given that to her. "So you can stop saying that right now."
"This is not coming out right," he sighed, groaning silently.
"Well how is it supposed to sound?" Peyton asked darkly. "Is this supposed to make sense to me?"
"Peyton, I am not trying to hurt you with this." Jake reached out to grab her hand. It was if he felt like his touch would somehow explain to her, what his words were failing to do. "It's just the opposite," he breathed. "It's so neither of us get into something we will regret later."
"What could possibly happen?" She understood what it was to be afraid. She knew what it was like to hurt, but what Jake was saying rang hollow to her. "You bring up Jenny and act like somehow I'll be saddled with her," she scoffed. "And that's just crazy."
"Is it?" Jake could taste the salt in the air as he licked his lips. "What are your plans after high school, Peyton?" he asked. "Don't you want to go to college or university?"
"I don't know."
"You must have some idea."
"I don't know!" Peyton exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air. "Is it unheard of?"
"I don't know what I'm going to do after school. Maybe I'll keep working at the newspaper or maybe I'll go to art school. What does it matter?"
"Well I don't necessarily have those same options," Jake stated matter-of-factly. "I'm probably not going to college when I graduate."
"Jake..." Peyton was stunned at the bitterness in his voice. She knew he had made sacrifices for Jenny, but it hadn't hit home until now, just how hard it was for him.
"Don't feel sorry for me." Jake waved off what looked like the beginnings of a pity party. "I've known this for a long time," he said resignedly. "It's the consequence of my choices. But what I'm saying Peyton, is that you didn't choose it. And you don't understand what it is like signing that whole part of your life away. And that's what you'll be doing if we do this."
"So what, you're supposed to remain a monk while you work your way through college?" Peyton asked dryly, taking a step towards him. "Is it a martyr complex? Because I hate to tell you, you're no saint."
"No. I don't think anyone could call me that," Jake laughed.
Peyton reached out her hand, pressing it against his cheek, while the other rested on his arm. "You don't have to do this alone," she whispered. "I don't mind being there for you...or Jenny."
"I can't start something that's just going to end when the fall comes."
"Oh, but I was just thinking I'd have my way with you and then send you packing," she said mischievously. "I wasn't thinking long term."
"Funny," Jake replied drolly. Her nearness was clouding his judgment. He felt himself begin to buckle under her longing gaze and warm touch. "You're really funny, Peyt."
"You're the first to discover my secret," she whispered, leaning into him. "I'm really not morose or brooding. It's just a cover. But I'm going to have to swear you to secrecy."
"Hmmm?" Yes, his brain was definitely fogging up being so near to her.
Peyton placed her hands in his and squeezed, while her gaze remained locked with his. "I want this, if you want this."
Suddenly the fog lifted and Jake pulled away slightly, searching her face for any hint of hesitation. He saw none. And for the first time, he couldn't think of a reason to pull away.
She felt herself lifted off the soft sands and wrapped into his arms. Throwing her arms around his neck for leverage and support, she met his soft, searching kiss. And as the roar of the surf lapped against the beach, Peyton let the world fall away.
Because at that moment, it couldn't have been a more perfect moment.