Two Sided Mirror
Chapter 12 -Rebuilding
Speed poised his hand over the door, unsure if he needed to be here. The feeling he had at the moment was one of happiness, but as he stood there in front of his door, he felt less than worthy to even see him. He had betrayed their friendship, although it had been for a good reason, but none the less , it was still betrayal.
Gathering his senses, he knocked sharply at the door and waited for him to answer. When he didn't hear anything, he knocked again.
"Come in."
Speed opened the door and slowly entered the room, keeping his eyes adverted. There was no way that he could face him with the guilt he had on his heart. As the door closed, he felt his best friend's eyes bore into him, and he shifted his weight uneasily. This was not going to be easy.
" What the hell are you doing here?" Eric asked as he looked away from him. " Come to finish the job?"
"Delko, you got to know that I didn't mean..."
" You didn't mean to shoot me? Well you did, you asshole," Eric returned ,his anger very apparent. Speed continued to stand in his one spot, not moving. How could he apologize if he wasn't going to listen?
" It was a undercover thing, Delko. I couldn't tell anyone, not Horatio , Calleigh, Alexx, or you."
" Why? Why did you shoot me?"
" I had to. There was nothing else that I could do. You had me trapped with a gun to my head," Speed tried to explain. He knew that this was falling on deaf ears.
" You could've told me."
" I couldn't."
" Yes you could've. We were your friends , Speed. We trusted you."
" I know, and for that I'm sorry," Speed replied as he hung his head down. This was tearing him up inside; he wasn't used to his best friend being like this. " It was something I had to do."
" Well , I hope it was worth it, because our friendship is shot to shit," Eric responded hatefully.
"Delko..."
" Get out," Eric growled.
"Eric.., I ..."
"Speed, I said get the hell out!"
Speed glanced up at him, seeing the hatred in his expression, and turned reaching for the door. He hesitated for a moment then swung the door open. The door closed silently as he made his way to the elevators, knowing that his friendship with Eric Delko was officially done.
/Rebuilding/
Alexx laid on her side as she tried to rest, feeling the achiness in her bones. This ordeal had tested her, and she felt relieved that she had made it out alive. A part of her wanted to blame Speed for this, but then she knew that he had done this for Nia. In order for him to live again, he had to find justice for Nia. She was content to know that this had helped him find that peace.
She turned slowly to see him sitting in a chair next to her, with a sad smile on his face. His eyes told the story of a man who was weary and ready to let go of the pain that he was holding on to. Turning, she put a hand on his cheek and gave him her best smile, hoping that it would help.
" I didn't hear you come in, Timmy," Alexx said as she placed her hand in his.
" I thought that you were sleep. I didn't want to disturb you."
" You could never do that," she returned as she looked at him, " I see there's still something bothering you. If you are worried about me..."
" I just went to see Eric. He basically told me to piss off," Speed sighed. The weight of his choices hung off of him.
" You've got to give him time, Timmy. He's got to process this."
" I tried to apologize to him, Alexx. He didn't want to hear it."
" He'll understand," Alexx returned softly.
" Meanwhile , I have to wait until hell freezes over to get a word in edgewise. God, I hate what I have done to you. All of you," Speed said as he dropped his head. This had all been too much for him.
" I understand, Timmy. It was something that you thought you had to do. Don't beat yourself up about this."
" But... You... Eric... you guys could've been killed."
" True," Alexx said as she raised an eyebrow, " but we weren't. Don't hold this in, Tim. Got it?"
Speed looked at her and smiled, she returning it before wincing in pain. He moved to help her and she gave him another small smile, shaking her head.
" Are you okay?" he asked as he touched her wrist. The bond between her and him was stronger, and he felt a sense of peace in her prescence. No matter what was going on with him, he could always trust Alexx.
" I'm fine. Just need the rest."
" I'll go..."
" Timmy,... you don't..." Alexx said before he put a finger to his lips and shook his head.
" I'll go, so you can rest. No arguments, okay?"
Alexx nodded and gave his hand a squeeze as he stood. She was content knowing that her boy was fine. All of the other stuff would come naturally.
/Rebuilding/
He pushed the door open slowly, noticing immediately the atmosphere in this room. It was as if a breath was being held until being told to let go. He walked quietly to her side, taking in the IV that snaked from the bag to her hand, and the paddles that were adhered to her chest. Despite this and possibly the pain, she looked peaceful. He sat down next to her and grabbed her hand, feeling the warmness of it, letting a broad smile come to his face. If it was warm, it stood as a testament that she was still with him.
"Prue, I'm glad that you are okay. I thought I lost you there for a moment," he said with a tiny smile. " You have no idea what losing you had done to me."
He pushed her hair out of her eyes, noticing for the first time , how pale she was, and his heart pulled at him. Once again, his choices had put someone he loved in danger. Hanging his head ,he let the tears come, feeling the heaviness of the moment. How could he had justified this? True, his need to find peace for Nia was strong, but was it worth losing those who were still with him?
As if she heard his thoughts, Prue spoke softly, " You didn't lose us ,Tim."
Speed glanced up to see her looking weakly at him, giving him a brilliant smile. She squeezed his hand lightly as she closed her eyes slightly.
"Prue?" he asked fearfully.
" You aren't going to get rid of me that easily, Speed," She returned slowly with a hint of sarcasm. Tim laughed, instantly feeling the weight being lifted off of his shoulders as he kissed her cheek , then caressed it with his hand. There was no way he could bottle in what he was feeling at this moment.
" I would never think of it, Prue. I love you too much," he replied as he grasped at her hand more, the need to have contact with her coursing through him.
" I must be delusional," Prue said , drowsily, " because I thought you just said that you loved me."
" It's not the anesthesia, Prue. I love you. Always have , just took some time to see it."
" Thick headed," Prue responded as she fought to keep her eyes open.
Tim snickered slightly as he noticed her battle, " You rest."
" Tim,..."
" Prue, I'll be here. Don't worry."
Prue nodded as she drifted back into a slumber, saying almost in a whisper, " I love you, Tim."
Tim kissed her on the lips softly then sat back in the chair, watching her chest rose with each breath. She was okay, they all were okay. Now he had to start to heal.
TBC...