In Conclusion

There comes a time in the life of every fanfic author when they must write an emotional fic. Not just some drama with a few tear-jerking chapters. Not your standard breakup and makeup story. But an epic. This is my epic. This fic will make or break me as a fanfic artist. This is the concluding fic in the first series I ever wrote. It started years ago with my alternate season 8. Ten episodes written in script form posted right here on fanfiction.net. The script form takes away from the storylines, which I thought were very good and creative. It is those storylines that lead us through "Friends - The Musical" and to here, at In Conclusion. This is the concluding story in the series that started it all for me.

This is a dark fic. It's written from the depths of my soul and it will either fade into oblivion and be known forever as a piece of angsty crap, or it will be remember as one of the classics. I guess only time will tell. I hope that if you haven't read my series, you still continue to read this fic. It should be fairly easy to pick up on what's going on in the story. Read and review.

His eyes made him look much older than he really was. They were dark and clouded and aged well beyond their years. They were the eyes of a man that was damaged, a man that had felt more pain and suffering than any one person should. Those eyes glanced out of a large glass window, taking in the town below. Rome was a wonderful place - it was classic, it was quiet, and it was beautiful, but it wasn't home. Home was in New York City. Home was with his friends. Home was with Monica.

"Shit…" He cursed as he turned away from the window. He had done it again…he had thought of her. It had been over four and a half months since he last saw her in person, back in his apartment, before he decided to run away. When he had decided to leave New York, he had thought he would be leaving with Joey and Rachel, two of his best friends, two people more than capable of being a steady support system. Instead, he left with only Joey, whose presence became almost non-existent once filming began, which left Chandler by himself for most of the day.

It only took a week of being by himself all day to inspire Chandler to find a job. He searched everyday for a week straight, but found that there was little need for part time American workers who only spoke English. But, as many things usually go, he found what he was looking for right when he was ready to give up searching. A small grocery store a block from the apartment he shared with Joey had a "Now hiring" sign on the door. Chandler went inside to acquire about the job, and found that it was a stock boy's position. Since he had spent several teenage years stocking goods at his own local grocery, the job seemed to be a perfect fit, and he took it.

He had spent eight hours a day, five days a week, for the last four and a half months shelving items, never talking to anyone, always keeping to himself. "The Angry American" was an interesting nickname he had been given from the other workers in the store. He knew about it, but he didn't care. He wasn't out to make friends with anyone, he was simply there because he had no where else to go. He was there because it was the farthest away from Monica he could think to be.

He stepped away from the window and into the living room of the apartment Joey and he shared. It was a nice place, big and comfortable, completely furnished. The two of them had come quite a way since their canoe and lawn chair days. Chandler sunk down into one of two recliners that were parked in front of the big screen TV and reached for the remote. He flipped through countless channels, not really paying attention to what was on the screen, his mind constantly wandering off to other things, wandering off to Monica.

It amazed him sometimes. Four and a half months without speaking a single word to the woman and he still couldn't get her off of his mind. He knew it wasn't love that did it to him. It couldn't be love. He hated her far too much for it to be love. She had caused him too much pain for it to be love. But still, Chandler knew of nothing else but love that made a person think of someone else as much as he thought of her. He knew that all emotions eventually fade away, even those as strong as hate, but love - it hung around forever. No matter how bad he wanted it to go away.

His clouded eyes moved quickly to the door of his apartment as his roommate stepped inside. It was nearing midnight, which was the usual time of Joey's arrival after a long day of filming. Joey looked tired and worn out as he closed the door behind him, but he also looked happy. Chandler knew his best friend loved his job. He was working with his idol on a sitcom that was expected to be a hit, he was getting paid a six figure salary, and he was adored and worshipped by all the young female soap fans who worked on the set. The only thing missing in Joey's life was Rachel Green.

"Hey Joe, how was work?" Chandler let the remote settle onto the arm of his chair as he turned to face his friend.

"It was good. Only one more week left." The show had been signed for thirteen episodes, and it was scheduled to be a mid-season replacement for one of the fall's failing shows. They had twelve episodes in the bag, and after next week, they'd be all done. After that, they'd have to sit around and wait for the show to air. If it was a success, which all signs indicated it would be, then the show would be signed on for a second, full-length season, and filming would begin in the fall. If the show was not well received, then they would not be re-signed, and that would be it. Either way, in a week, Joey got to go back to New York City and see his girlfriend. It looked as if he'd get back just before Phoebe was due to have her child.

"And then you're heading back home. I'm gonna miss you man." Chandler smiled and stood up. He walked toward the kitchen and toward the fridge, intending to fix himself a drink. He glanced back at Joey as he opened the fridge. "Do you want something?"

Joey ignored the question, choosing instead to restart the argument they had already had a million times before. "You really should come back with me Chandler. I know you're not happy here." Joey slid onto a barstool on the opposite side of the island that was placed in the middle of their kitchen.

"I wasn't happy in New York either Joe. At least here I'm far away from her." Chandler and Joey had argued the point countless times before, and every time they did, Chandler came out the winner. He didn't want to go home, but he didn't want to be in Rome either. It was pretty much a lose-lose situation, but he would learn to live with it. At least, he hoped he would.

"This is so stupid Chandler! Why don't you just go home and fix this thing?" Joey couldn't stand seeing Chandler so unhappy, and from what he heard from Rachel, Monica wasn't exactly on top of the world either. The two of them belonged together, it was clear to everyone. But what really frustrated Joey was that they knew they belonged together too. It wasn't as if the two of them were oblivious to the fact that they were meant for each other, they both knew that was true. But still, the two of them ignored it, and chose instead to be unhappy.

"I can't fix something when I don't know what part of it is broken. All I got was," Chandler rose his hands so that his fingers could angrily portray quotation marks, "irreconcilable differences. That's a little too broad of an excuse for me to work with." Chandler no longer bothered with the glass he had sat out for himself, deciding instead to simply drink from the bottle. If he was going to survive this conversation again, he was going to have to get a little drunk.

"So ask her Chandler. Go home to New York, knock on her door, and demand some answers. You deserve that." Joey was willing to try anything to get his friend home. He knew he couldn't leave Chandler by himself. He was sure that his presence in his life was the only thing holding him together.

Chandler slowly sat his bottle down in front of him and spent the next few moments staring at the ground in front of him. Then, in a voice so filled with pain and heartbreak that not even Chandler recognized it as his own, he said, "I don't want answers Joe. I just want the pain to go away."

*************

Monica stared down at the New York Post that was opened to the Foods page where a picture of herself inside Central Perk's kitchen was shown. The group's business was getting great reviews from all sorts of mediums and was building a great reputation throughout the city. Under her picture was a caption that read, "Monica Gellar, head chef at Central Perk, is the creator of all of the establishment's original items." However, for the first time in her life, it wasn't the praise that caught her attention.

It was the word Gellar. She had treasured the day when she became Monica Bing. The day when she married the man of her dreams, her best friend in the entire world, and left her days as the once fat, lonely, nerdy Monica Gellar way behind her. It occurred to her as her eyes read over the words that she was incredibly close to returning to her old form. She was lonely and she was nerdy. All she needed now was to get fat, and if she remained as depressed as she was, chances were she would.

She missed her husband. It was her fault that they weren't together, and now things were so scarred she was sure that they were impossible to fix. She had never explained why she divorced him, and he didn't make her. It wasn't that Chandler didn't want to know, she knew that he desperately did, but she also knew that he still loved her. And because he did, he honored her wish not to talk about it. He always gave her exactly what she wanted.

Monica discarded the newspaper and stretched out on her couch. Without looking, she reached her hand over to the center table and picked up a shiny silver picture frame. Inside the frame was a picture of Chandler and her at the zoo. They were standing outside the monkey's exhibit, staring at each other with looks of complete love and trust. Even with creatures slinging feces behind them, they still only saw each other.

She stared down at the picture as tears former in her eyes. She put herself through the same torture everyday of the week. She couldn't escape his ghost. It still haunted her. No matter how hard she tried, she could never quell the desire to stare at his face and remember all of the amazing times the two of them had together. The activity brought her some minute amount of joy, but in the end, the gut-wrenching pain that comes with realizing you screwed up the best thing that ever happened to you always overshadowed it.

She had destroyed Chandler Bing, she was sure of it. From what little information she got from Rachel, she could tell that the Chandler Bing she once knew and still loved was long gone. A bitter and confused man who lived his life in a daze of working, drinking, and heartache replaced him. She had turned Chandler Bing into a man that never smiled, and that fact made her feel worse than anything else did. Not only had she broken his heart, she had for all intents and purposes, killed Chandler.

The entrance of Phoebe and Ross into her apartment interrupted her ritual of self-inflicted pain. Phoebe was due to have her baby in less than two weeks and was showing in every possible way. Lucky for them, they now only lived right across the hall from Monica, so it wasn't much strain on Phoebe to frequently make the trip. A lot of moving had been done with their little group. Monica now lived in her apartment alone, and Ross and Phoebe lived across the hall. Rachel lived in the apartment Ross used to own in the building across from Monica. Joey would stay with Rachel when he returned from Rome and Chandler…well, no one had really discussed what would happen to Chandler. It was all too painful of a subject for any of them to bring up.

Phoebe slid down into a chair at the kitchen table, and Ross quickly rushed to her side to help her get comfortable. Monica took that opportunity to wipe the tears from her eyes and stuff the picture she was holding down in between some couch cushions. "Hey guys, what's up?" Monica rose from the couch and tried to appear as normal as possible. She pretty much knew that her crying was obvious, but she hoped that neither Ross nor Phoebe would mention it.

She got her wish, as Ross decided to skip that line of questioning, since he knew full well exactly what she was crying about. Instead, he just played it cool. "Not a lot. We just wanted to come over and hang. We're not sure how much hang out time we're gonna get once little Jennifer arrives."

"Regina." Phoebe spat out the name quickly. They were two weeks from the due date and they still had not agreed on a name for their daughter. Phoebe's choice remained constant for the entire nine months. She wanted to name her daughter Regina, after her alter ego. Ross switched names quite often, but this particular week he had been pushing for Jennifer. His choices were always traditional, standard names that really bothered Phoebe.

Monica smiled at the two of them. They were truly happy together. So much had changed within their group. The constant back and forth of Ross and Rachel was long gone, as was the comforting consistency of Monica and Chandler. Joey was no longer womanizing and Phoebe was no longer floating back and forth between boyfriends. Everything was different, and unfortunately for Monica, her different was bad. Her different was painful.

Ross ignored her comment, he had been hearing it for nine months and was now immune. He instead opened up the fridge and pulled out a can of coke. Usually he would grab a beer, but since Phoebe couldn't drink alcohol in her pregnant state, he had chose to temporarily avoid it. He stepped toward the couch and leaned against its back, casually popping open his drink. He glanced at the clock on the wall and then turned to Monica, "Rachel working late or something?" It was unusual for Rachel to arrive after six. She got off at five and she spent most of her other time after that at Monica's.

It was best for both Monica and Rachel that they hung out a lot. It helped them miss their men a little bit less. Plus, Monica had a great long distance calling plan, so calling Joey was much cheaper for Rachel, since she spent hours upon hours on the phone with him. She spent so much time there that Monica was beginning to think they were roommates again. She knew she would miss her once Joey got back, since he would take up the majority of her time.

"She called earlier and said she was on her way over, but before she hung up Joey called, so she clicked over to talk to him. Knowing them, they're probably still talking on the phone," Monica explained.

Ross simply nodded his understanding. He took a moment to acknowledge how odd it was for him to talk about Rachel's love life and not be jealous. They both had found people close to them that made them feel complete. If it weren't for his relationship with Phoebe, he probably would have been upset about Joey and Rachel getting together. But he had Phoebe, and he wasn't upset. Things were great, and if Monica and Chandler would just work out their problems, things would have been perfect.

Moments later, the door opened and Rachel Green came strolling into the apartment. She gave Ross and Phoebe a friendly smile as she sat her bag down on the table. She didn't notice Monica hidden by the back of the couch, and assumed she was out somewhere."Hey guys."

Phoebe smiled back and replied, "Hey, we were beginning to wonder where you were." Her hands were placed comfortably on the large bulge in her belly. She could tell by the rumblings inside her that she didn't have long left to go. She couldn't wait.

"Well Joey called. He had some pretty interesting news." Not seeing Monica, she continued with her news freely. "Chandler is coming home."

Monica's eyes shot opened as she heard the news. Chandler was coming back to New York City.

Her Chandler was coming home.

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