Two Sided Mirror

Chapter 13 - Epilogue - Power of Goodbye

Two Months Later...

Speed woke up with a heaviness on his chest. It had been there for sometime now, every since the ordeal had gone down. Despite the fact that everyone was well ; Alexx, Eric and Prue were out of the hospital, and Calleigh had been returned to duty, Speed still felt the pressure of something weighing against him. He knew in part what that was, but by advice given, he decided that he would let time take care of it. It didn't make working with Eric Delko any better though.

In the months that had passed, Eric continued to hold on to his anger against him. As hard as he tried, he couldn't let go of the fact that his best friend had shot him. And Tim couldn't blame him, but he desperately wanted to put this behind him and work to save their friendship. Eric had some trust issues with him, but he still had all the trust in the world in his best friend.

Speed rolled over and pushed the covers off of him, careful not to disturb the sleeping form next to him. He glanced her way, feeling satisfied that she was there and leaned over to kiss her lightly. She stirred , and he pulled back, watching her beauty as she smiled lightly but continued sleeping. He wondered how he could've been so lucky to have her in his life. She had saved him from himself in more ways than one.

" I love you," he whispered in her ear. She stirred some and turned over, he smiled and got up.

He stood in front of his closet for almost ten minutes, lost in thought. As much as he said his choices were for Nia, he never felt like it was enough. She was still gone, and despite the attempts to let go of his grief, he never felt like it would decrease. Her death had left him empty, that space being unable to be occupied by any other. Sighing, he selected his clothes and headed to the shower. Another day, another way to figure how to live with his hurt.

When he finished his shower and dressed ,he could smell the beginnings of a breakfast and hear the rattling of the pans down in the kitchen. Walking down the stairs, the aroma overtook him and he all of a sudden felt ravenous. Usually , he didn't eat breakfast, but now with Prue in his life, he rarely had a choice in the matter, and it made no never mind to him. Turning into the kitchen ,he saw her over the stove, keeping her eyes on the eggs in the pan while she prepared the toast. The long brown curly hair had been pulled up into a messy ponytail , and she wore a long lose robe over her. Speed inwardly smiled to himself as he approached her, feeling the need to touch her. She lifted her head as he stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, eliciting a small laugh from her.

" Tim, I swear, you're going to scare the life out of me one day," she said as she felt his breath on her ear, it driving her wild with desire.

" I didn't want to disturb genius at work," he whispered lovingly. The close proximity was driving him insane, and he fought with the desire to take her back up to the bed room.

" You are too kind, wrong, but kind. You want some?"

" Anything from you," he replied seductively. She had that effect on him.

" Okay, Tim, step back before you find yourself late for work."

"They can do it without me," he replied as he nuzzled closer to her.

" Right, and you want someone in your lab, going over your things?" Prue asked as she finished with the eggs and turned the stove off. She then turned to face him, being greeted with those amazing brown eyes. Her heart skipped a beat when she looked into them, because she knew that the love she saw in them was for her.

" You make a good point, Agent Kruss. Can I at least get a kiss?" Speed asked as he smiled down at her.

" That I can do," she returned as she tilted her head up to receive his lips. They stood there for a moment , entangled in the softness of the kiss, parting only to gasp for air. When he pulled away, he saw her brilliant smile and felt the warmness creep back into him.

He held on to her for a moment longer before he turned to grab a plate. She grabbed one herself and followed him out to the breakfast nook. Placing her plate down, she glanced over to him as he began to eat, her heart swelling. In the months since her discharge from the hospital, she had once again fallen in love with him, and she was surprised to find that he felt the same about her . They made no mistake about their burgeoning relationship, and soon they were living together. In her time with him, she saw everything that made him; his happiness, his comfort, and his sadness. It hurt her to see him still contend with his grief, but she knew that in some ways , it would never leave him. He had lost the most important thing in his life so suddenly, without the opportunity to say goodbye. She knew that it was what haunted him the most.

" So , what's on tap today?" she asked as she placed her fork on the plate strategically.

"Work," Speed said with a glance to her, his brow knitted. He knew that she had something brewing under the surface. " Why?"

" I don't know, I thought that we could spend sometime together, maybe during lunch. Take a walk."

"A walk?"

" Yeah, you know the thing you do with your legs, one out in front of the other," Prue returned sarcastically. She had to speak his language sometimes to get through to him.

" Why do I have the feeling that I'm being set up?" he asked as he finished.

" Why does it have to be a set up? What's the harm in a walk?"

" One doesn't ask another for a walk without ulterior motives. There is something you want," Tim deduced.

"Always the CSI. I just wanted to talk is all."

"Talk? Like what we are doing here? Why do we need the walk?" he asked grinning , knowing that she was growing irritable with the conversation.

"Alright, alright, I thought that it would be a good time to go see Nia," Prue said slowly as she looked into his eyes to gage his feelings. And as she expected , she saw him draw away instantly.

" W-Why?"he asked , looking down at his plate, his appetite gone.

" Because , Tim, you need some closure. You need to say goodbye," Prue said as she got up. She approached him tenderly, feeling the sadness that came off of him. Her heart broke as she stood in front of him, reaching her hand out to him. " I think today, ...today is the day, Tim. You've carried this around for so long. It's time to say goodbye."

" I don't want to. I don't want to say goodbye to her, Prue. It hurts too much," Speed replied as the tears traced the edges of his eyes.

" It hurts to hold on. Tim, she wouldn't want you to live like this. She would want you to be happy."

" I can't be happy. She's not here. Her life,... her life was taken before she could do anything. I can't forget that."

"I'm not asking you to do that, Tim. What I'm asking is for you to let go, tell her goodbye. Tell her you miss her, tell her you love her and that you'll never forget her, but tell her," Prue returned emphatically. She sat next to him and held his hand to let him know that she was there for him.

They sat in silence for a moment then Speed spoke up softly, " I don't know if I can. I- I mean, I haven't been to see her since she died. I couldn't concede that she was no longer here."

" That's what I am here for, Tim. I can help you if you want me to . I'll stand by you. But this is something you have to do. For yourself," she said as she placed a hand on his cheek, lifting his head up to face her. The amount of pain that still swam in his eyes, still tugged on her, and now more than ever she wanted him to confront this. " Will you?"

Speed gazed at the woman before him, feeling a hint of relief that she was here. He knew that she was right, he had to confront what it was that still had him. He had to go to her and tell her all the things that he couldn't before. Giving her a small smile, he nodded his head . She placed another hand on his other cheek, cupping his face and gave him a soft kiss. When she pulled away, she gently wiped the tears that had burst forth.

" Meet you at twelve then?" Prue asked, still looking for any apprehension.

" Yes, twelve. If anything comes up, I'll call you."

"Sounds good to me. You going to be okay?"

" I think so, Prue," Speed said with a sigh. He wasn't looking forward to what he hadcommitted himself to do, but he knew it had to be done. He glanced down at his watch and then back to her, rising, " I gotta go. Thanks, ... for everything."

She watched him walk out of the door, sure that everything from this point was going to be better.

/ Power of Goodbye/

It had started fast.Speed was in the break room at the refrigerator when Eric had entered, and he looked up to see him, turning around to walk out. Speed closed the refrigerator , then moved to stop Eric from walking out. Whatever they had brewing between each other, Speed felt the need to get it out in the open and deal with it.

" Delko, it's been two months, don't you think we should talk about it?" Speed asked as he stood in front of the door. Delko had a irritable look about him as he tried to move past Tim, only for him to counter, keeping him from the door.

"What's there to talk about? You shot me. End of story," Eric returned plainly.

" You haven't listened to me yet. I have been trying to tell you why I did it..."

" You were undercover, I heard that excuse."

" That's right , but you don't know the real reason."

" There's a real reason for shooting your best friend?"

"Delko, if you'll just listen..."

"I'm not interested."

"Stop being thick headed and listen to me, Eric!" Speed said as he raised his voice slightly. He was thankful that it was only the two of them there. He could feel the enormous amount of anger wafting off of him and he steadied himself. " Would you just for one minute?"

Eric stood back and crossed his arms at his chest, "Alright , you got sixty seconds."

" Good. Eric , you know the reason why I took it don't you?"

" To avenge Nia."

" That was my main motivation, but it was something else. There were some rumblings that the lab was going to be ambushed because of the case that I worked and the case that you and Calleigh were working. They were connected."

" Okay..."

" So when I was approached about that , I took it, knowing that I would have to betray each of your trust in me. You gotta know that I didn't come to this decision lightly. It took a lot out of me.," Speed said looking into his friend's eyes. " There's nothing more precious to me than your friendship, Eric."

" It wasn't too precious when you pulled the trigger, Speed. I saw the look in your eyes. There was no hesitation. You meant it."

" I didn't! Can't you see that? Everything was a role. The attitude, the secrets,...It was done to save you."

" You have a funny way of saving someone. I'm through with this," Eric said as he moved to go. Tim stood in front of him, making Eric more and more angrier.

"Speed, move."

Speed had to think fast, knowing that if Delko left the break room, this would never get resolved. " It's not like the bullet hit you, Eric."

"What the hell did you just say to me?" Eric asked as he unfolded his arms.

" The bullet didn't come anywhere near your skin, Delko. The kelvar saved you."

In a matter of seconds, Eric was on him, tackling him to the floor. Speed saw the movement coming and braced himself against it, allowing himself to be taken down. Eric pulled back and landed a punch , hitting Speed in the eye. It was over as fast as it started and Speed saw through the pain of his eye as Horatio stood in between him and Eric. Speed glanced at Eric ,seeing the fury that had boiled to the surface as he stood patiently behind Horatio.

" Feel better now, Delko?" Speed asked as he held his eye. Calleigh had come in behind Horatio and looked at him, seeing the bruise as it started to form.

" I think, Speed, that you need to leave him alone," Horatio said as he held Eric back. " Eric come with me."

Eric glanced at Horatio then back at Speed as he was getting himself looked after from Alexx who had walked in a second after Calleigh. Horatio walked the fuming Cuban out of the break room, continuing to keep himself between Eric and Speed.

" I hope there was a point in that," Alexx said as she continued to look at the eye.

" Me too," Speed returned as he winced against the pain. All he had to do now is wait.

Eric walked into the trace lab with samples from the case they were working on, looking at Speed as he peered into the microscope. When he looked up , he saw the black ring around his eye and winced. Coming to the table, he put the samples down and stood silently next to him.

" So, Ali, are you feeling better?" Speed asked as he glanced from him to the microscope.

" You asked for it, Speed. I couldn't help it anymore."

" I know, but I had to do something."

"So taunting me was something? You know how much damage I could've done?"

" You mean try to do?"

" What? Have you taken a look at your eye?" Eric asked with a smile.

" I let you do that," Speed replied as he came up from the microscope once more. " So are we cool?"

" Yeah, we're cool. Just don't do it again. And you might need to get a steak for that eye. It's taking away from your furrowed brow look."

" Furrowed brow look? That's a new one," Speed said as he put his hands on the samples. " What do we have?"

" Samples found near the vic at the scene. It could tell us where he's been," Eric said easily.

Speed nodded his head and prepared the samples for analysis. The tension in the air had been deflated and it seemed as if the friendship had been salvaged. Speed felt the heaviness lift slightly, but knew what he still had to do.

/Power of Goodbye/

The breeze blew lightly as he walked hand in hand with her to the stone. He hadn't been there since the day that she was put to rest, and it hit him like a ton of bricks to come face to face with the cold stone that represented her. He stood silently as the tears flowed freely, not trying to mask his grief any longer. He wanted to reach out to touch the stone, but his hands felt as if they were stuck to his side. Prue held on to his arm as he stood there, and felt sadness come to her as well. Her time with Nia was short, but in that time, she had known the special way that the little girl had gotten to her father. She handed him the bouquet of flowers and he took it, moving from Prue slowly. He sat on his haunches and placed the bouquet by the stone. He sat there for a moment, lost in his own thoughts, and Prue took it as a time that he needed to be alone, so she stepped back and walked away, staying within reaching distance in case he needed her. She recognized his need to be alone, and she respected it.

Speed continued to gaze at the gray stone that held her birth date and the end of her life, feeling the need to say something, but it being choked by the ever present tears, so he sat there in silence.

When he did find his voice, it came out tiny and strained, " Nia... I'm sorry. Sorry for so many things."

The silence that returned to him was deafening , and he bent his head down , gathering his voice again. He had to do this.

" There have been so many times, Nia that I wished that you were still here. You left me before your time. You were supposed to be with me, we were supposed to do everything together. But now..." he said as the tears overwhelmed him. He wept harshly before he was able to begin again, unsure if he wanted to finish. It was tearing him apart to face the finality of this. " I- I miss you so much, Nia. I wished that it was me instead of you. You had so much to live for, a whole life ahead of you. Now , all I have of you are memories."

The wind picked up a little and he closed his eyes, feeling the peace starting to come. He knew that she understood. He opened them and reached out his hand to touch the stone, its cold hard feeling producing more tears. With his hand still there, he leaned over and kissed the stone lightly and then stood up. Looking down at the stone, he took in a deep breath and closed his eyes again as if burning her into his conscious.

"Daddy, push me on the swings..."

" Daddy,... What is DNA?..."

"Daddy, I love you..."

He opened his eyes and smiled before saying, " I love you, Nia. You'll always be in my heart."

The wind blew again, and Speed glanced at Prue who was standing patiently to the side, watching him.

He bent over the stone and spoke in a hush tone with a small grin, " Now , daddy needs a little help with this," as Prue started to walk over to him. She took in the sight of him, noticing that the debilitating pain that had taken residence up in his eyes, was gone. She put her hand on his arm as she came to his side, and glanced down at the stone.

" Are you okay?" she asked.

" Yeah, I think I'm going to be fine," he replied as he looked up at her. She winced again at the bruise around his eye and laughed lightly. " What's so funny?"

" I was just thinking, if that didn't work with Eric, what were you going to do?" Prue asked as she gestured towards the eye.

" That I was going to have to save all my strength. Eric may be lanky, but he's still a forced to be reckoned with."

"Well in that case, I'm glad that it worked out. Are you ready?"

He looked down at the stone and touched it one last time, nodding his head, " Yeah. Let's go."

Prue looked at the stone as well and then to him. She knew her part in his life now. As they walked to the road, Speed felt as if he was finally at one with himself. No longer did he have to look at himself through a two sided mirror.

The End.

A/N: Done! I would like to thank all of you who read and reviewed! It really makes a difference to me! And To Nikki and Deb, you guys are the greatest! Look for the sequel to come after the holidays!