I couldn't keep myself away from the story.
I even played hooky today to finish:)
Thank you so much for your reviews!
It means the world to me to get feedback from you very talented writers out there! More, more, more, please tell me what you think)
With best regards,
Jellicos

Chapter two: Searching for a crack in the wall

As she returned to the Gryffindor common room she went straight to bed, ignoring the loud protests from Harry and Ron. She could not face anyone right now. But it seemed as though a dark and silent dormitory was the worst place of all. She kept running the events of the evening through her head. What in Merlins name had happened?
She'd kissed McGonagall.
And what a kiss it was. Just thinking back sent trembles down her spine. Never in her life had she felt such passion in just one kiss. Not that she'd had much experience in the matter. There had been Viktor Krum, her sort-of boyfriend from Durmstrang, and a few guys in school. But that had mainly been awkward. This had made her loose all sence of time and space. But that was not what kept her awake long after her roomates had fumbled around to dress for the night, long after she heard the soft snoring from the bed beside hers. No. What kept her up was the painful sight of McGonagall in tears.
Had she done something wrong?
Well, she knew kissing her professor was not in the rule book, but she'd kissed her back. Hermione had felt the longing in her kiss match her own. But then she pulled away. Why? And the tears. She'd never seen her professor cry. In all these years, through every miserable thing that had happened. Nothing had made her cry.
But she had. Hermione had. And she couldn't stand it!
There was no sleep at all that night. Just the image of a tear falling down a slightly wrinkled cheek.
Just before dawn she slid into a worried sleep.

The next few days slipped away in a hazy fog. The only time she was really present was during transfiguration. Her results in class where still the same, if not worse, since McGonagall refused to look at her. Even Ron seemed to notice that their transfiguration teacher was a bit out of it, but didn't seem to mind at all. On the contrary, the entire class seemed very relieved as their homework for the day had decreased quite a bit.
"Maybe she's just had a sudden struck of humanity?" Ron said without reflecting when in the mist of a discussion with Harry, Dean and Seamus after the class. Hermione had to use all her strenght not to slap him for that comment, but he seemed none the wiser so she merely burst out of there.
Not knowing where to go, she just roamed the hallways aimlessly, trying to rid herself of the anger burning within her.
"That bloody moron, where does he get of talking about humanity.." She muttered to herself so caught up in her own anger she didn't notice him until she'd almost tripped over his curled up legs.
"Neville?" She looked at the little sobbing creature that was her friend with a careful surprise gleaming in her eyes.
"Oh, hi." He quickly wiped his tears on the sleeve of his robes.
"What's the matter Neville?" she asked him as she sat down on the cold stone floor beside him.
"It's nothing" Neville was still sobbing and Hermione was not about to give in. After all, this would take her mind off the insufferable pain in her chest for a while. It took her a few moments of assurance and doubting looks before her fellow Gryffindor agreed to tell her what was bothering him so. This alone was a sure hint that whatever this was, it was not a light matter, since Neville always had confied in her without hesitation before.
"You must promise not to tell anyone." He said without even trying to hide the desperation in his voice.
"Of curse I won't tell anyone Neville." She said reassuringly.
"Well, something happened this summer." Neville started, his blank stare fixed on his shoes. "I got in a fight... with some muggles. I don't even know how it happened or why, but before I knew what I'd done, I'd cast a spell."
Hermione gasped but dared not scold him about what he'd just told her, affraid it might just break him completely.
"What happened? What did the ministry say?" She asked him, still in chock.
"That's the strangest thing." Neville hadn't looked up from his shoes once. "I don't think the ministry found out. I don't know how that's possible, I mean, they basically know everything that goes on. But there was no word from them. None." Finally he looked up at Hermione who by now was even more surprised. "The spell I cast... it backfired on me. I started getting dizzy and my legs cramped up. And the past months it's just become worse. It hits more often and with more force each time and I don't know what to do!" He started crying again and buried his face in his hands.
"Neville, you have to tell Madame Pomfry." She said, a hint of desperation had slid into her voice as well as her friend had told her the story.
"No!" Neville froze and looked at her with a terrified expression.
"Nev-"
"I said no!" he cut her off. "If anyone finds out about this I'll be expelled for sure!" The panic in his voice was undeniable. "I used magic outside of school, in front of muggles. There's no way they'd let me stay. And grandmother would kill me if I'd get expelled. I'm a big enough disappointment to her as it is..." He looked so utterly miserable, Hermione hadn't the heart to argue with him. Besides, he had a good reason to be scared. This was a serious matter and expullsion was not that far fetched. Not at all actually.
"Neville," she said carefully, placing a hand on his trembling shoulder. "What kind of spell was it?"
"That's the thing," he looked defeated. "I can't remember."
"Don't worry Neville, I'll help you." Neville looked up at her as if he couldn't believe his ears.
"You will? Really?" A slight thread of hope sounded from his words.
"Of curse I will. We just need to find the spell and a way to reverse it."
"Oh, thank you!" Neville threw himself around her neck to hug her but found his manners quite quick again and let her go with blushing cheeks. "Sorry."
She just smiled at him. She was happy to help him. Neville had always been a good friend and he'd do the same for her in a second if she needed it. And then there was the bonus of having other things on her mind, distractions from the evening in McGonagalls office. Oh, bugger! She stood up so quickly she almost knocked Neville over in the process.
"Neville, I'm so sorry, but I have to go. I have an appointment with professor McGonagall in ten minutes."
"You won't tell her anything will you?" He asked in a terrified voice.
"I told you I'd help you and I will. I'm not telling a soul." She promised, which earned her a smile from the boy, still sitting on the cold floor. "I've got to go, but we'll talk bout this later. I promise." she stressed the importance of her last words by patting him softly on the shoulder again. Then she rushed off, not knowing what to expect when she reached her destination. But she had to be there, she had to know.

She was early as she knocked on the heavy mahogony door for the second time this week. As the strict voice from her professor rang trough the door telling her to enter, she again took a beep breath before doing so. But what she saw was the last thing she'd expected.
If she hadn't known better, she would have thought nothing had happened. McGonagall was sitting as usual at her desk grading papers and looked up at her with a polite expression.
"Nice to see you again ms Granger." She said in a voice, a bit too casual. "Let's get right to work, shall we? I expect you've practised your wand movements for today." Hermione couldn't understand what was going on, or rather what wasn't going on. Last time she'd left her professor in tears and the days to follow McGonagall hadn't met her eye once. And now...
"I have professor, but I think maybe we should talk-" She tried but McGonagall played her authority card quite well and directed her to the task at hand, as if she hadn't noticed Hermiones try to work things through.
"Very good, ms Granger." She just replied. "Let's see if it will make a difference." And with a swift movement she'd condjured up the five copper chalices again and directed her pupil to the task.
Hermione didn't argue and got to work on turning the objects in front of her into parrots. Her efforts where damped by the confusion and hurt of her professors emotionless attitude towards her, but never the less, her wand movements had improved and a very strange looking parrot appeared, missing half of its feathers and it's feet where still copper. McGonagall effortlessly turned the sad looking bird into a chalice again.
"Much better ms Granger" she said with what Hermione couldn't interpret as anything else than a teachers encuragement. And she was less than encuraged. What the bloody hell was going on? Why was she acting like nothing had happened. Hermiones frustration grew by the second. Was she trying to hide something from her? Pretend nothing had happened as if it would all go away by itself? It didn't work that way. At least not for Hermione. She knew they'd both felt something. Hadn't they? Maybe it had just been her. But she knew something wasn't as it should be. McGonagall had kept her distance the entire time and they where at the end of their tutorial. After a while, Hermione had decided for herself that this was her professors way of telling her that by pretending nothing ever happened, they could go back to where they'd been just a few days ago. 'Stop delusioning yourself,' Hermione scolded herself angrily. 'You are just another annoying little student to her. How could you for a second think that there was any chance that this Goddess of a woman would ever find you attractive!' Her thoughts rang like soaring acid through her heart. She knew she was different from her fellow students. She'd allways been more mature, more of a grown up, and more now than ever, when she by wisardlaw soon would be titled as an adult, it did make a difference. But not a difference that would matter here. Not so much of a difference that her professor would ever see her as anything but a childish student. Yet there was no denying the tention rising between them. Though it was probably just a one way deal, Hermione tought. Her stomach clinching at the thought. How could she have been so stupid? Her professor was covering for Hermiones own stupid mistake. How could she have thought there was a slightest chance her feelings would ever be returned? At this moment she was so angry with herself that she could have burst at the seems. Not the best time to be doing transfiguration it turned out, when she with a bit too much force attacked her chalice. Before she knew what had happened, McGonagall had thrown Hermione to the floor There was no parrot to replace the missing chalice. It had exploded with such force that had her professor not knocked her to the floor, Hermione might have blown them both away.
"Are you hurt?" An uncharacteristic tremble in McGonagalls voice brought Hermione back to reality to find that she was laying on the floor, her face a mere inch away from McGonagalls. Unable to form any words, Hermione just shook her head. As she looked into those emerald eyes, all was lost. She knew there was no denying it anymore. There was something there that she'd seen just a few times before. The strict eyes of the deputy headmistress, the eyes that could pierce their way through any student, where gone. The gaze that met her made her tremble. It was the warm gaze of a passionate woman. Several strains of auburn hair had come loose from the blast, hanging down the sides of her face. The sight made Hermione gasp and in the same moment her heart ripped in half as the most painfull sadness had overcome her professors eyes. The next moment McGonagall was standing, brushing of her green robes and looking around her burnt office.
"That was quite an explosion ms Granger." Everything had happened in just seconds and Hermione was still on the floor, not quite grasping what had just happened. She wasn't even sure which explosion McGonagall was refering to, but as she stood up to look at the damage she was quite sure. The walls had turned black, the table where the chalices had been was just ashes, and the carpet on the floor was severely burned. But it just took McGonagall a few whippes of her wand, a few incantations, and the room was back in its original state.
"I think we best call it a day for now." McGonagall had resumed her reserved and emotionless attitude and Hermione was to confused to argue.
"Same time next week?"
"Yes, professor." It was no more than a whisper, but it was all Hermione could master. It seemed good enough for McGonagall though who simply gave her an approving nodd before opening the office door.
"Goodnight then ms Granger." She appearently did not expect an answer as she shut the door behind Hermione before she could turn to bid her professor goodnight.
Hermione leaned in against the massive door, her mind racing madly. Had she imagined it all? The warmth in her look, the sudden painfull sadness? Had it just been wishfull thinking on her part, or had she just knocked her head in the explosion?
For a split second it accured to her that maybe it had been a crack in the wall surrounding McGonagall at all times. That she for a brief moment had seen the true Minerva McGonagall. But she brushed the thought aside. 'Silly little girl' she told herself as she started to walk back to her common room. 'When are you going to stop fooling yourself?'
Hermione had been so caught up in her own thoughts she hadn't heard the desperate sobs coming from the other side of the door. And she was long gone when the sound of chattering glass echoed into the hallway.