2005

GRAVEYARD SHIFT

CHAPTER NINE – Passion and Love–

"Our greatest inspiration comes from the firm belief that our passion

and love for funeral service will assist in delivering exceptional care

to each family we are privileged to serve."

Even though Lina hadn't nailed her driving test yet, she came to work with Xel, Zelgadiss, and Valgaav. She was curious about what went on behind the closed doors of the funeral home, and Xelloss was more than happy to have her close to him. Valgaav and Zelgadiss were less pleased.

She held her own as Zelgadiss, with step-by-step instructions by Valgaav, opened up his first cadaver.

"What's the note at the bottom of the work order?" Valgaav asked Xelloss.

"It says we are to perform an autopsy with ligament collection. Ligaments to be returned to the hospital."

"What do they do want with them?" Lina asked.

"Transplants," Valgaav answered. "What else, Xel? Prep for embalming?"

"No, says here that it's for cremation. I'll go see when then next burn is scheduled."

Xelloss trotted across the room to a wall chart. "Morning shift, as usual."

"Easy night, then," Valgaav sighed, then turned back to watch Zelgadiss' progress on the 'Y' cut. "Nice, Zelgadiss."

A few minutes later during the 'running of the gut', Lina stepped out for fresh air. She had been thinking about Nahga and Luna going out with Xel and Valgaav. A more mismatched foursome she couldn't imagine. Nahga was this tall, built, braggart with a drinking problem, but she was fun party girl. Lina had to give her that one. Valgaav, on the other hand, was tall. And that was where the similarities ended. He was quiet and serious, as far as Lina could tell, not to mention at least five years younger than Nahga. And was it possible that he liked Lina's best friend, and Nahga's sister, Amelia? Actually, Lina was afraid to know what Amelia really thought of him. So far, they had avoided discussing either Valgaav or Xel, thanks to Zelly's accident. That was far more diverting a conversation point.

Luna. Lina had avoided talking to her lately as well. Even thinking about her and Xelloss 'hanging' together gave her the creeps. Luna was so...hard-assed, bossy, and a know-it-all, and would she ever kill Lina for even getting to know Xel! So, that brought her back to wondering what it was that Xel ever saw in Luna?

When she returned, the worst of the malodorous work was over and Valgaav and Xelloss were taking specimen samples.

"So Val," Lina began. "I'll just call ya Val, okay? So, from what I can tell about'cha you're an introverted dude. Nothing wrong with that. It's just that, well, why Nahga? Why go out with a conceited, obnoxious woman like her?"

Xel snickered, "Like personality matters..."

"It didn't work out, but I guess I like outgoing girls. Takes the pressure off me for conversation." Valgaav answered simply then continued showing Zelgadiss how to remove leg ligaments.

Lina sat watching the three young men work in silence broken only by the wet sounds of flesh being cut. "You know, for three guys supposed to be related, you don't have a thing in common. Not looks, personality, or taste. Just how are you related?"

Xelloss looked over to Valgaav, and then said, "My mother, Zelas, and his father, Gaav–who you have met, are sister and brother. Zelgadiss? Now there is a mystery. Everyone's a bit closed-lip about it. Right, Zelly?"

"Yes, and that's just fine with me," he replied in such a way as to signal an end to the subject. "Ready for the next leg."

"Seems to me that someone's hiding something. A dark secret in Zelly's past," Lina pushed on.

"Why would the family do that?" Valgaav asked gruffly. "Now what are you up to?" he asked of Xel.

Xelloss was removing a foil-lined bag of ground coffee from his briefcase, the same case which enclosed his treasured 'bread knife'. "Oh, just messing with the morning guys' heads."

That interested Lina. "How's that? You use coffee for embalming?"

"Oh, no, no. Not dead heads, live ones, the kinds attached to living bodies. The morning shift people who work here." Xelloss giggled as absurd visions of filling brainless skulls with coffee grounds came to his mind..

Lina was still confused, "I don't get it. You're providing them fresh coffee? How not-weird. You are a devious player," she looked obliquely Xel's way and smiled.

"I think so. I've been supplying their coffee maker with straight, unadulterated decaf for the past three weeks. I think by now that everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, don't you think so?" Xel looked Zelgadiss' way. "You're the expert."

"It took me less time, the third or fourth times I quit," Zelgadiss answered him.

"Aren't you the sneaky nice guy?" Lina repeated with an indifferent shrug of her shoulders. That was an unexpectedly unspectacular practical joke, in her opinion.

Xelloss nodded seriously, "I see. Well, good. Tonight...however," he broke into a devilish smile, "we switch to espresso!"

"F#!" Valgaav barked out in a laugh. "They'll be higher than kites. Sheeee-it! I'd love to be a fly on the wall tomorrow."

Xelloss, knowing a perfect setup when one was laid on him, nearly choked on his tongue as he joked, "I'll bet you would! They got some fresh warm bodies rolling in early, you flesh-eating scum of a lowlife."

Valgaav responded with a good-natured, but solid punch to Xel's gut, which was blocked and met by a left to Valgaav's chest. They both landed a couple shots, then their acrimony fizzled out.

Lina and Zelgadiss were attempting to stay out of the way and ignore the two idiots. "Sounds like a lot of work and expense for what? He's not even around to see the results," Lina told Zelgadiss.

"Inexpensive entertainment. I wouldn't put it past him to stop in and see for himself how wired on caffeine they'll be. Xel is...unpredictable certainly."

"What's with you guys and flies, anyway?" Lina asked, sharing a hit or kick of her own to stop Xel and Val's antics.

"We...find a lotta flies and their...progeny in some of the bodies," Valgaav said.

"Putting it mildly," Zelgadiss muttered.

Lina appeared unconvinced. "So?"

"Insects can be used to solve cases. The rate of hatching of maggots, the stage of metamorphosis can help determine the time of death," Valgaav explained. "We usually have a rash of them in summer. Take it away, Xel..."

"Thank you, my dear cousin Valgaav," Xelloss smiled and bowed slightly. He cleared his throat and began, "Dr. Bergeret d'Arbois of Jura performed an autopsy of a child discovered by a plasterer who was repairing a mantelpiece. He found that the flesh-fly, Sarcophaga carnaria had deposited larvae in 1848 and mites had laid eggs on the corpse in 1849, and concluded that judicial suspicion should fall on the occupiers of the house in 1848."

"Now that we're doing pick ups," Valgaav spit out the words, "we'll see a lot more. Particularly if we have to drag them out of the woods after they've aged..."

"That's enough!" Lina shouted. "I'll deal with it when the time comes; don't give me any ideas ahead of time, okay? So, why do you think people have this big thing about preserving the dead and having funerals and all, ya know?"

"So we can have jobs?" Zelgadiss said flippantly.

"Eh! I'm not asking you. I mean, why not just burn 'em or box and bury them? Cut the funeral houses out of the loop?" Lina asked.

Xelloss stood and paced, "It all comes back to the brute fact of our own mortality and of our complicated and sometimes self-defeating attempts to come to terms with this fact."

"Shit, we got the professor tonight," Valgaav grumbled.

Xel made a face at his cousin and continued, "I feel that we must avoid the somber sanctimony that too often afflicts people talking about matters of life and death. Nothing like some dark and morbid humor, I say. For instance, I might speculate on how much money it would take to make my dotty Aunty Dolphinia's combination golf course/graveyard, which I named the Golfatorium, solvent again. Or I could describe my father, that's Phibrizzo, you might have heard of the man? Now there is one a true out-of-the-box thinker... Where was I? Oh, yes, his unsuccessful attempts to build a suicide cleanup empire. I mean, whaddya think about 1-800-SUICIDE? Too ghoulish?"

"Yes! I was serious here. I still feel there is something almost supernaturally creepy about attempts to tart up fresh corpses for open-casket funerals." Lina said.

"Different folks hold to different traditions," Valgaav said curtly. He didn't tell her that Xel was being serious. Those were true family stories he had related. And as much as he looked forward to doing something else one day, he was proud of his father's business and devoted to his father.

Zelgadiss could feel Valgaav's defensive measures setting in. He knew that Valgaav loved his father and would defend the funeral home. When he heard the name 'Dolphinia', though, Zelgadiss jumped. It was his mother's name, and although he knew they couldn't be the same person, the notion was disturbing. So, Zelgadiss deflected the subject a bit. "Not all funeral businesses are out for the money, Lina. This one serves to solve cases and do stuff like this ligament salvaging to help people."

"But how can you tell the good ones from the cheaters?" Lina asked.

Valgaav appreciated what Zelgadiss was doing and felt bad about feeling competitive over Amelia the other night. As a show of team spirit, he helped inject a little humor into the conversation. "When you go into a funeral home, the first thing you should ask is to use the restroom. Check the toilet paper - if it's single-ply industrial toilet paper, leave. If they're cutting corners there, they'll be cutting corners everywhere else, too. I'm dead serious." He said it seriously, but then he smiled a rare smile and blushed as Lina stared at him.

"Really? I'll have to check that one out to be sure. That's really...weirdly cool, Val."

Not to be out done, Xel began, "Oh that's just the first! There's a litany of tips everyone should know to avoid getting ripped-off by the undertaker: First, always avoid those fancy, expensive 'sealed' or 'protective' caskets - they don't protect anything. Bodies decay, regardless. Nines days and the soft tissue is mostly gone, unless the body is frozen."

"Really? Well, whatdya know?" Lina said.

Xel had her attention. He raised his hand to tick-off the points on each finger, then continued. "Second, avoid all those package deals which are usually padded with services you won't use, like 'access to a grief library.'

"Cripes! They really have those? That sounds like a shady business trick to me."

"Third, shop around and use the Internet. Product mark-ups can be incredible, even 3,000 percent. I know, I can even buy embalming solution at a discount. Lastly, the best buyers shop ahead for themselves."

"Right buy now, die later plans, sure..." Lina smiled.

"Yeah, sorta. Plan and buy when you are not under duress and can make logical decisions. The worst buyers are grieving men. Men who say just 'make it nice.' They should take someone with them. They really should."

"How do you know so much about this stuff?"

"Oh, my mother runs a slew of those disreputable places. Undoubtedly unethical at times. I learned from the best of the worst, you might say. Gaav, now his are the best of the best. I mean, he even has the Cepheid business!"

Valgaav handed Lina a pamphlet. "Read this."

Zelgadiss nodded sympathetically. "He gave me one, too."

Lina looked at the cover: WHY DO WE EMBALM? "Ah...geez..."

"Embalming is primarily done to disinfect and preserve the remains. Disinfection is important for all who have to handle the remains, and for the public safety of our communities. In the years gone by, deaths due to Typhoid Fever, Malaria and other highly contagious diseases, put funeral directors and others who came into contact with the remains at a very high risk of contracting the same disease."

Lina looked up from her reading, "That's nice to know."

"And not entirely true," Xel told everyone. "We wear protective gear at all times and if a particularly dangerous or potentially infectious body comes in it is labeled and stored separately in lockers. AIDS cases, for instance. We haven't had any so far this summer, but they take careful handling."

"I'll bet. You haveta avoid the blood, right?"

"Every tissue and, well...everything. There is one disease that no amount of cleaning, sterilization, in fact, nothing, even burning will kill the germs."

"What's that?" Zelgadiss and Lina asked together.

"Mad cow disease, the human form. If we get one of those cases we have to use special plastic sheets and tools, and then everything has to be destroyed when the autopsy is over."

"Even the knives?"

"Yep. You try to do it all with disposable blades. I've only done one of those and not in this town. Mother's place. I don't want another."

Lina shuddered at the thought, and then continued her reading aloud of the five page booklet. "Secondly, it has been a tradition to have a period of visitation of the remains. This is known as the wake, the visitation, or the 'calling hours'. Friends and family gather to view the remains and pay tribute to a family member or friend that has died. We gather to console the family on their loss, and to express sympathy to them. Without embalming, most remains become un-viewable within a short time."

Lina screwed up her face and muttered something inaudible, then went on. "There are constant changes going on chemically and physically within the remains that alters the looks and other qualities that we are accustomed to seeing. Embalming acts as a hindrance to this and gives us the time needed to pay respect and express our sympathies."

She closed up the pamphlet and shoved it down her coveralls. "Okay, okay, when it comes to convincing me that we need the legitimately operated funeral businesses, well, you are rather persuasive," Lina laughed, beaming a smile to Xelloss. Then she turned away and watched Zelgadiss close up the specimen boxes for delivery to the hospital while Valgaav flipped over to the next job on the night's work chart.

Xelloss was delighted. His spirits soared immediately. He had to stop himself from allowing it to show in his face. Lina shouldn't know how she affected him. How was it, he wondered, that Lina had that effect on him? Just a little smile and his heart was beating like crazy, his head was fuzzy, and it took every bit of control that he could muster not to grin like a madman.

He had to think of something, and then he did, a most sobering insightful thought. He had tasted the depths of loneliness in the knowledge that those who valued him did so only for his handsome face and the appetites of theirs he could satisfy. He was like a good meal: hungered for intensely, eaten, and then forgotten. It had all been meaningless, devoid of the things which last. And that did it. The smile was under complete control now. A dose of reality was all it took. He had rarely felt the need to control his urges towards a young lady of interest because it revealed his vulnerability.

"Oh, by the way...hold on a sec," Zelgadiss ran off to the changing room, then returned with a small box in his hand.

He gave the small box to Valgaav. "Do you think your dad will like it? It's for his birthday."

Valgaav was quite moved. Here he'd been thinking Zelgadiss was competition for Amelia, and the guy was not, and he'd been thinking about his dad. He opened the box and his eyes widened. "Cool cufflinks. Yeah, man, he'll love these. Where'dya get'em?"

"Lemme look!" Lina pushed her way to the front. "Wow! Are those really tombstone cufflinks? How cool is that? Yeah, where do you find things like that? Not the downtown jewelry store, I can tell ya!"

Valgaav passed the box over to Xel for him to see. "Did you see the engraving? 'RIP' on the front? Nice..."

"I won an auction bid on eBay," Zelgadiss told them.

Valgaav raised an eyebrow in question. "Is that so? I wonder what else is available. Show me how to use 'eBay', okay?"

Zelgadiss led him over to the computer and logged onto his internet account. "Welcome to the joys of eBay collecting."

Lina looked on at Zelgadiss' side with Valgaav looking over his shoulder and Xel close by Lina. Valgaav was tempted to buy everything he saw. There, to his delight, were the oddest assortment of collectibles, and all for sale. Valgaav imagined that soon their house would have them all! His cursor hovered over a bronze of a long-eared, resting dog, the Egyptian god of embalming. "Now there's a handsome statue of Anubis!" he said, his voice reflecting his feelings of admiration.

But then, here were the nesting coffin boxes– what he couldn't do with those! He pictured his climbing shoes and cramp-ons in the bottom one, ropes would fit in the middle box, pitons and hammer in the smallest top box. And then his eyes rested upon an extraordinary mortician's watch with skeletal 'hands' for hands and lightly buffed pewter case. Too bad it wasn't shock proof, he thought with disappointment. Still, Valgaav decided that the watch might make a good gift for someone who didn't bang their arms around on rocks for fun.

"I can think of a good place for that coffin wall clock," Xel smiled. "Right above the fireplace. Fires of hell– get it?"

"Not as great as that coffin purse, though," Lina said.

"Yeah," Valgaav shut off the program. "We'll do some bidding later. We got work to do."

"A lock-up?" Xel read over the work order. "We have a drug case in a locked vault," he explained mostly to Lina.

Valgaav located a distinctly unusual latch device from his heavy key ring, entered the cadaver keep, and called to Zelgadiss, "I need a hand here."

Valgaav was easily able to move the body, but what he meant was that it was Zelgadiss' job to do it. He gave Zelgadiss a few pointers, but let the smaller young man yank, grunt, pull, and roll the cadaver like a long bag of uncooperative potatoes. The soft tissue parts had already begun to decay.

"Cold, not stiff... Dead for more than 36 hours," Valgaav began reciting into the recorder. "Gunshot wound to the head enter center front forehead, exit left rear. Collecting fly egg samples from open wound and storing for incubation. Maggots...not present. Sand in hair and wound site. Microscopic examination can determine if it is ocean beach sand."

Xel explained to the others, "We have to record the data pending the court case. According to the notes here, blood was already drawn for testing, but they want a stomach contents check, yuck, and cause of death determination."

"I'd say...the bullet through the brain did it," Lina said grimacing at the appearance of the body.

Valgaav and Zelgadiss began the opening, Zel doing the cutting and Valgaav doing the observing. Xel took the samples and began the dissections. This time it was Lina who turned up the fan when Zelgadiss emptied the stomach contents over a strainer. "What's this?" he called out.

"Bingo!" Xel danced over and removed the small plastic bag from the sink with the 'pick ups'. "Shall we open it up and see what kind of dope we got here?" he asked.

They all clustered close to the dissection table and watched as Xel teased at the twine knot using surgical tools, and then, unable to release the tie, he slit the bag up the side. "Cannabis."

"What are those things wiggling around?" Lina asked.

"A different kind of maggot in the pupae stage," Valgaav scraped the creatures onto a paper and dumped them into an incubator. "I've never seen anything like those before, and they are about to hatch so we might be able to identify them."

"Identify what? The bugs? What for?" Lina was flummoxed now. "He got shot in the head by some guy wanting his drugs, but he didn't have them because he'd swallowed them."

Xel dumped the remainder of the dope in with the rest to wait and see what else might crawl out.

Zelgadiss was already on the computer. "You know this insect identifying site, Valgaav?"

"No. Interesting. We can cross check with this one I have book-marked for insects commonly found on corpses."

The two men hovered over the monitor. They quickly learned that they couldn't identify the eggs from the head. Those would have to be incubated separately. They did learn what to look for to tell one fly from another later. "Thirty-six hours and we ought to know," Zelgadiss noted. "But that thing from the bag could be a termite and not a pupae at all."

"We'll take home the two incubators and watch them. It can make a difference when they hatch out," Valgaav said. "Let's finish up the examination. So far, it's interesting."

Finding the insects and the package of cannabis turned out to be the only interesting occurrences that evening, although for Lina it was all new.

"What are you doing?" she asked Xel.

"Preparing tissue samples for pathological examination. Don't distract him," Valgaav said sternly. He might not be able to control his older cousin, but his position put him in charge of the shift.

Lina wasn't used to having someone tell her what to do. She never shied away from a challenge when there was something to be gained from it. Fights she had backed away from occasionallyLina had no desire to waste her youth and beauty for meaningless matters. "Okay, I was just curious what he was doing over there, that's all. I didn't know you did stuff like that here."

"We might be doing more, now that we have Zelgadiss working full time again. And if you start bringing in cases needing investigation, Xel might get down to what he's actually trained to do."

Lina cocked her head to see if Xel was going to add anything. After a pause and his continued silent dedication to his task at hand, she decided Xel wasn't going to say anything. Lina asked Valgaav, "And that's dissecting?"

"Pathology. He's a pathologist. He can figure out the course of diseases and, in particular, the cause of death."

"Like a doctor? Xel's a doctor?" Lina's interest in Xel took a whole new course. Sure, she remembered him saying he was a pathologist or some 'ologist', but it hadn't meant what it did now. Doctors were like princes of the real world, a source of wealth.

Valgaav may have noticed a stiffening of Xel's back indicating that Xel was listening to what he might say next. His reply to Lina was short and revealed his irritation. "Of a sort. If you want to know more, Xel'll have to explain it to you– but later. Zelgadiss? I'll close the body. I don't have time to teach you suturing tonight."

"Fine. I'll do the disinfecting and cleaning up." Zelgadiss wasn't sure he wanted to know what all was going on between his two cousins and all their furtiveness. While he worked, he kept an eye on Lina. He knew that Xel was attracted to her, and as much as he liked his cousin, he didn't think he was 'right' for Lina. Gourry was her boyfriend and Gourry was his friend and he owed him a certain amount of loyalty, but didn't Lina as well?

"So, Lina...you and Gourry finding time to do anything now that you'll be working nights here?" Zelgadiss asked.

Lina's flash of confusion, followed by the signal she cast as her eyes narrowed in warning, made him regret becoming involved. He had eliminated caring about relationships, hadn't he? Right. He hardened his features, and before Lina could answer, he added, "Not that it matters. I don't care one way or the other. I guess I was more wondering if you had thought about all the adjustments you would have to make to your activities, once you started working the graveyard shift regularly. It's perfect for my social life."

"I hadn't given it a thought at all," she said, leaving it open as to what it was she meant.

Lina had slept only six hours, had eaten nothing since seven the night before, and it was nearly one in the afternoon. This meant that she going to be grumpy when she opened the door.

"Who's here at this hour?" she grumbled as she kicked away the clothes she had ripped off and flung to the floor. She was glad she had this room in Amelia's house; it was secluded at the end of the hall, and it had its own private entrance.

When she opened the door, Gourry's tall frame filled the opening. "Where ya been? I haven't been able to get a hold of ya all day, or yesterday?"

"At work. I'm working night shift at the same place as Zelly, Val, and Xel." Not that she thought it was any of his business.

"Oh yeah?" Gourry's face darkened. "When did you start that?"

"Well, actually, I have to get my driver's license first and then I start, but I wanted to check out the place first." Lina yawned and checked the time. It was too late to go to the DMV today.

"Were you even going to tell me about it?" He sounded hurt.

"Well, I guess so, when there was anything to tell. It's nobody's business anyway."

That hit him like a slap to the face.

Lina didn't notice. "Wanna let me get in some driving practice?"

"With my car?"

"Yeah, I haven't got one."

"I don't have long. It's my lunch break."

"Hey, that's okay. I'll pickup something at the drive-thru."

Several days later, Valgaav, Xel, and Zelgadiss had two batches of very different insects to identify.

"Since the sand on the body's head turned out to be freshwater sand, I was expecting the eggs collected from the wound would hatch into some species of Ephydridae. According to the online insect identifier, the adults are found in moist places: marches, the shores of ponds and streams, and the seashore. But these are too large," Valgaav said. He flicked up more fly pictures on the computer.

"Nope. Just common Muscidae, the common house-fly, Musca domestica. It says here: 'These flies occur in houses, and are one of the most widely distributed species on this planet. In warm weather they can complete development in 14 days. Eggs are laid in decaying material, including, but not limited to, dead bodies'."

"That's all right, then, don't you see? That means, possibly, the man was killed indoors, remaining inside long enough to attract flies, then was moved outside to the beach," Zelgadiss deduced. "Which, if we are right means that we should alert the authorities to search the area where the body was found for a house or some outbuilding for more murder evidence."

Valgaav considered what he said a moment, and then shrugged. "It's possible. Xel said that the cannabis incubator hatched out things earlier. Let's see what he's come up with."

Xel walked into the room carrying his plastic bug-breeder. He was grinning with excitement. "Have you looked at this stuff?" He showed them the container teaming with life.

"On it," Valgaav said, eagerly shaking out an assortment of bugs.

"Okay, I see hatching and living in the dope... a Tachys species of weevil," Valgaav said to the others.

"Got it." Zelgadiss read off the important information he found. "The only one like that is normally found along the banks of streams or lakes. That goes along with what I was saying. What's that other one?"

"This little bug is an azarelius species which lives as a 'guest' in the nests of termites," Xel teased the creature with a toothpick after measuring and counting the rings on its tail.

"And this is a Hymenoptera wasp pollinator of the pear tree," Valgaav said. He looked up from the monitor. "That's everything. Now what can we make from all of this?"

"Where are there pear groves, water, and termites?" Xel wondered aloud. He had pulled out an area street map and smoothed it on the table top. "Okay, let's say we plot the distribution of these species... and study the degree of overlap, and see if it's possible that the cannabis was harvested near a stream or lake with pear trees and termites' nest nearby."

Zelgadiss nodded. "I get your point. The dead guy was growing marijuana and took this batch to sell or something and when things didn't work right, he swallowed his sample...but he got shot anyway."

"WE may never know, but with all this information, the case has lots more to go on." Valgaav picked up the phone. "The DA's office wanted our results as soon as possible."

It was a few days later that they heard back from the investigating team. The cannabis crop had been located– near an irrigation pond, a neglected pear orchard, and a termite-ridden cow pasture. The murdered man had a co-worker, who they found holed up in a ramshackle lean-to without electricity. In the shack, they also located the murder weapon and blood splatters matching the victim's. Following presentation of their evidence, the suspect in the case changed his plea from not guilty to guilty.

Xelloss was about to call Lina to give her the news. He hadn't seen her all week. She was determined to get her drivers license and start work as soon as possible. As he reached for the phone, in a preternatural moment, it rang.

"Hello? Lina!" He was unable to keep the delight out of his voice. "You did? Wonderful! You're coming to work tonight, then? You don't want to rest first? Sure, I'll pick you up. No trouble. I look forward to seeing you tonight. Okay, bye."

It was some minutes later that he remembered that he hadn't told her about the case resolution. Lina Inverse distracted him, which further perplexed him and left him wallowing in confusion.

"Damn," he grumbled. He had just opened a can of soup and the lid fell in. He used a spoon to fish it out and managed to flick tomato soup onto his clean shirt. "Damnit anyway!"

He was experienced enough to know that it would stain if he didn't clean it immediately. Since the laundry basket was overflowing, he grabbed an armful to complete the load, and tuned on the washing machine. He would have to do things differently than Gourry. No tame events. Something classy. Yeah. Xel did not hang out. Xel dated seriously, not that he took the relationships seriously, but he made dates count. He spent his money where the returns were guaranteed. Trouble was that with Lina he wasn't certain that there were any guarantees.

By the time he returned to the kitchen, the pot was seething, hissing, and bubbling over with frothy orange-red soup. "Noooo!"

Zelgadiss sauntered in. "I'll take care of that. I thought you said you were paying the bills?"

"I thought I could do two things at once," Xel said. "Or is it three? Now where did I put my pen? I had it in my hand a second ago!"

He spotted it on the floor under the table. "Great. How handy." Handier than that would be hearing back from Lina. He needed to get Lina alone again, but she was a hard one to catch at home and she never returned calls.

Xel got down on his hands and feet and retrieved the pen. "SHIT!" he hollered when he smashed his head on the way up.

"Having a bad day?" Zelgadiss squelched his smile with difficulty.

With a sigh, Xel answered, "I can't keep my mind on what I'm doing. That's all. OUCH! Damn. It. All! A paper cut? Shit!"

As he reached for his coffee mug, Zelgadiss turned to warn him, "Remember the cat's toy...?"

But Xel had not remembered the cat toy, if he had even noticed the cat flipping her mouse toy across the room, up over the table, and into the black mug with the words 'Die young and leave a good body' on it.

"Gleck! Eeegh! F# it all! Where did this come from? I'm gonna kill whichever cat it was..." Xel's voice drifted off into a mumble as he realized that he didn't know which cat it had been, would never know which cat it had been, and even if he did, he wouldn't kill it.

He signed the final check, and stacked the envelopes for someone else to lick. He wasn't taking the chance that he'd damage his tongue. There were better things to do with a tongue, and he let his mind play with that thought.

"Yeah?" He looked up when he noticed that Zelgadiss was standing nearby.

"Are you having this soup or cereal?" Zelgadiss asked.

"Soup!" Xel snapped. He thought that was obvious enough. What wasn't obvious were the answers to his pressing problems, like what was he going to do now that Lina would be near him five days, make that nights, a week?

"Fine. Here. You were staring at that box for a long time, that's all," Zelgadiss said, slightly hurt at his friend's hard tone.

Xel shook his head. "Thanks. Sorry."

At that point he realized that he had memorized the back of his cereal box. Lina. He could not get her out of his mind. Lina. He was certain that she would...and then again, he wasn't certain of anything Lina. He closed his mouth over his spoon and nearly gagged. The soup had gone cold. He wondered how long he had been sitting there. A buzz from the laundry room meant that he'd been sitting there at least forty minutes because the wash was done. He got up and opened the washer. What would Lina like to do, he wondered? What would capture her undivided attention? It was summer, so someplace where they could swim would be nice. It would certainly get her out of her clothes, if only to put on a bathing suit. Maybe as small one...

Xel stuffed the wet garments into the drier, cranked it up MED-HIGH, and wandered back into the kitchen.

"Gaav's birthday party at the Palace Resort!" he chortled in glee. Of course! It would be a wonderful time. She would know Zelgadiss and Valgaav and him. No distractions or competition. That was good. He happily busied himself with plans for the next hour– until the drier buzz broke his concentration and alerted him to attention.

Sadly, he discovered, and not for the first time, that if you wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket, the entire load of laundry comes out covered with lint. "Noooo!"

End Graveyard Shift, Chapter 9