Title: You Love Me But You Don't Know Who I Am
Author: alienangel19852003
Summary: Leo kills Gideon before Chris fades away and he manages to heal him. Chris is unable to return to his own time so he is stuck in the present. The Elders give him a new charge and Chris has to start over.
Rating: M
AN: This is an AU story. It is rated M for a reason and that is because it contains a substantial amount of swearing abuse physical violence and mention of rape and incest. Also guy on guy action.
Chapter 8
Two weeks had passed before Chris even knew it he had assimilated to life in Hart, Missouri faster than he expected. Chris had been working nearly every night at Abercrombie and Fitch through it was more like Abercrombie and Bitch. All anyone ever did there was bitch and his boss was the biggest bitch ever.
Jerry was grumpy and rude and he made Chris dress like one of the store front mannequins and flirt with every customer. He kept playing this annoying pop album over and over the PA system which also came directly through Chris' headset.
He spent a great deal of time with Jack though. They were getting closer than ever. Though not as close as Chris would like for them to have been but he was just terrified of taking that next step. They spent a lot of time together hanging out in his apartment until he had to work.
Chris saw his mother and his aunts every other day. He made it his business to orb over Wednesday nights to watch the River with Phoebe.
Chris checked his watch 9:20 he only had 15 minutes until close. It had been a slow but trying day. Dex had cornered him in the hall when Jack wasn't around. She was hella strong for a girl. He had squirmed away before she could do any real damage.
Then a female customer had been belligerent with him. It had been a struggle for him to make it through the day. But he had done it. He had finally gotten used to feeling everyone's emotions. He had just finished ringing up someone's purchase when he felt Jack near by.
Then he walked in Chris wondered if he was falling in love with Jack. If that was true he was he was more like his father than he thought.
"Hey." Chris said.
"Hey. When do you get off?" Jack asked.
"In a few minutes man. And I am so ready to go." Chris said.
"Do you want a ride? I've got my mom's car I could drop you off." Jack said.
"I'd like that." Chris said.
"Okay. I want to let you know this before someone else tells you. I'm having this thing at my house on Friday. A gathering. One would even call it a party. My mom is going to this thing at the University. Marcus and some other guys from the team talked me into it. There will be choice hotties there premium alcohol there." Jack rambled nervously.
"Are you asking me to the party? Or are you just letting me know of its existence?" Chris asked finally ready to stop beating around the bush.
"Well it depends on if you'll go." Jack said with a smile.
Chris smiled back.
"When you smile at me like that how can I not say yes?" Chris said.
Jack waited around until Chris got off from work. He was so excited about Friday. He wasn't sure if Chris said that he would go with him to the party as in be his date or did he just mean that he would be at the party. But Jack was pretty damn sure Chris was into him and he was even surer that they had just been flirting. One thing about being queer in a small town was that you had to flirt with subtext.
"So. What are you going to do with the rest of the evening?" Jack asked Chris once they were out in the parking lot.
"Try to read chapter 6 to get ahead in History what about you?" Chris asked.
"I was probably gonna go home and do the same thing." Jack said.
"Why don't you come back to my place? We could study and quiz each other." Chris said.
"That sounds like a plan. I don't have to get the Momobile back until 11." Jack said as he got into the driver's seat of his mother's Toyota.
Chris got in on the passenger side. Both boys diligently put on their seat belts.
"Jack?" Chris asked once they got halfway to his apartment.
"Yeah?" Jack asked.
"Do you like want to be at the party together, together? Or just two men hanging out in a non homosexual way?" Chris asked.
"Would it freak you out if I wanted the first one?" Jack asked.
"Not at all because I want it too." Chris said.
When they got to Chris' apartment Jack decided it was best he not come in. He walked Chris to his door and then kissed him lightly on the lips. For such a chaste kiss it had a surprising effect on both boys. Jack moaned and pulled away and saw that Chris was blushing and trying to hide his excitement with the hem of his shirt which consequently wasn't long enough and his jeans were to tight to really hide anything.
"I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who enjoyed that." Jack said with a smirk.
Chris tried to smile back but it didn't quite happen.
"What's wrong?" Jack asked reaching out to stroke Chris' face.
"Nothing. I'm just scared." Chris said.
"You don't have to be. I would never hurt you." Jack said.
"I know you wouldn't. I just don't have the best track record with… well anything. Before we start this there are some things you need to know." Chris said.
"Like what? You're really a woman?" Jack said.
Chris laughed, "No. I think it's best you come inside for this." Chris said.
Chris was really nervous by the time they got up to his apartment. He knew Jack was too.
"Your alarming seriousness is making me wonder should if I sit down for this." Jack asked.
"Maybe you should." Chris said motioning for him to sit on the sofa.
Jack sat down and looked at Chris with open curiosity.
"Okay. I told you that I was going to tell you about this." Chris said taking off his button up shirt and turning around so Jack could see the brand on his left shoulder.
"It's called a triquetra. A symbol most often used to represent the Holy Trinity by the Christian Celtic Church. And it is also a Wiccan symbol. But it also represents my Mom and my aunts. There were three of them and we come from an intense family. To get truly technical there were four of them." Chris said pacing trying to figure out how to explain to Jack about his family without magic.
"We were sort of like the Corleones. My mom's older sister was killed in a shoot out at our house. Years later my mom and my other aunt met their youngest sister. The daughter my grandmother put up for adoption to protect her from the crazy family lifestyle. Then the triquetra was whole again and things were good again. Later my mom had my brother Wyatt and then she had me." Chris explained.
"Are you with me so far?" Chris asked stopping his pacing just to ask.
Jack nodded looking very shocked.
"You're from a mob family that attends a Celtic Christian Wicca Church?" Jack asked.
Chris smiled for a second and wondered if he should continue he hated lying. But the truth would be even harder for Jack to believe.
"Aside from all the constant near death situations I maintained a normal existence until I was 13. That's when everything changed." Chris continued.
"Wyatt was always a jerk to me a considerable amount of time." Chris explained.
He stopped pacing and looked at Jack who was sitting on the black leather sofa watching him intently.
"I've never told anyone this." Chris admitted.
"If you don't feel comfortable talking about it with me it's cool." Jack said.
"I want to tell you. It's just really hard. I thought I was over what he did to me. But I guess I'm not." Chris said blinking back tears.
Just thinking about when it first started Chris felt like he did in when he was twelve helpless and scared. But Wyatt wasn't around to beat him into a bloody pulp for telling his story so he continued.
"He… he would touch me. I wanted to tell my mom, one of my aunts, a teacher anyone who would stop him. But I knew I couldn't. I didn't want them to know. I hated my body's response to what he was doing to me but I was 13 and I was right in the middle of puberty I was just discovering that I was interested in guys for more than companions to build Lego castles and everything seemed to turn me on." Chris explained pausing to sit on the matching leather love seat across from Jack.
Jack sat on the black leather sofa trying to control his anger. He had known for a while that Chris' brother had been abusing him.
"I bet you think that I'm some sick pervert." Chris said averting his eyes.
"I don't." Jack told him. Chris was up and pacing a moment later.
"But I just let it happen. I didn't stop him. I was afraid to stop him. Wyatt was two years older and taller and stronger and I had seen what he had done to people from rival families the way he had beat people and even shot some guy before. I knew what ever he would have done to me would have been plenty gruesome. Especially if I told anyone." Chris said.
"Why?" Jack wondered.
"Because Wyatt was like the golden boy with blonde hair and all. Great grades, star quarterback, the list goes on until infinity. Our parents, the aunts, the whole town worshipped the ground that he walked on. If I told anyone it would shatter the illusion." Chris revealed.
"He sounds like pretty sick person to me." Jack said.
"So I kept my mouth shut and I didn't fight back, it was just touching. I tried to reason with myself. But I still felt guilty. A year passed quickly and the day I was turning 14 and also the last day of middle school. I made some pretty snide comments to a member of a rival family and when I got home from school I found my mom and my aunts dead." Chris revealed.
"I'm sorry." Jack whispered.
"It's okay." Chris said trying to smile despite the tears that were rolling down his cheeks. Jack realized then that clearly it wasn't. He realized Chris had amazing strength. Not like Superman strength the kind people keep on the inside. He also realized that he was completely infatuated. He never would have guessed that Chris had been through so much.
"Our dad had left and Grandpa was in a convalescence home and we didn't have any relatives Wyatt managed to convince the social services that he could take care of us both. They agreed rather than making us go through the system right then. To maintain his perfect image to the outside world he got his GED sold our mother's night club and he got a job waiting tables." Chris said.
"The day before the funeral I was practicing the song that I was supposed to play on the piano the next day at the funeral when Wyatt slammed the fallboard down on my hands and he broke five of my fingers. He had already told me that he blamed me for what happened to them the day before. After that the beatings became his newer form of punishment. He gave me the brand to remind me of what I had destroyed."
"And I let him. I knew it was my fault. So I just took it. Sometimes he would beat me so bad I couldn't go to school. Then he started raping me. Not too long after he started whoring me out to all his friends in exchange for goods and or services. When I started missing to many days of school my social worker decided to review my file. I haven't seen him in over a year. Except for that one time when he sent some one to bring me back to him." Chris finished.
Jack sat there torn between wanting to go over and hug Chris and tell him that it wasn't his fault and wanting to run all the way to California and beat the shit out of Wyatt. Since the latter was ridiculous and probably suicide even if the running part was possible. (He had seen Forrest Gump) Jack settled for option one.
"It is not your fault." Jack said standing up.
"Don't you see it is my fault Jack?" Chris said his eyes were shining with new tears.
"If I hadn't been so stupid and arrogant they would have never attacked and my mom and her sisters would still be alive and Wyatt would have hurt me." Chris said.
"You made a few rude comments to some mob brat so what? It isn't like you killed them yourself. You didn't deserve to go through what Wyatt put you through and that's just that." Jack told him.
"I tried to tell myself that over and over again but I still feel guilty." Chris said through his tears.
"I know you do but feeling guilty doesn't make what happened to you your fault." Jack said pulling Chris close and hugging him.
He held Chris in his arms while he cried.
Jack had a feeling Chris hadn't really cried about this before. He hadn't really mourned for his mom and his aunts and he hadn't cried over the loss of his innocence either. Jack cried with him. He had no idea how long they stood there crying and holding each other. But he took notice when Chris pulled away.
Chris wondered how someone like Jack would want him. A miserable half breed. Twice cursed instead of twice blessed. His life had been one ordeal after another a testament to his parents' love. He didn't want to drag Jack into his whirlpool full of chaos.
"Chris." Jack said pleading with blue eyes.
"I know what you're thinking. I want to be with you even after what you told me. It doesn't change how I see you." Jack said.
Chris shook his head not wanting to believe what he was hearing.
"You're the nicest, most intelligent, handsomest guy I have ever met and you make me feel something I've never felt before." Jack told him.
Chris stood there listening with new tears in his eyes. He knew Jack was telling the truth. Jack was in love with him! In a second Chris crossed the small space threw his arms around Jack's neck and kissed him. Jack was kissing back and it was amazing. Their tongues dueled for a few seconds before succumbing to the passion building between both boys.
A/N: I'm sure you guys get what happened next if you wanna read the full version it can be found in the Charmed section of AFF. Thanks for the reviews keep them coming.