Here's chapter three! Sorry for taking so long to update, but I accidentally erased my whole chapter, and I didn't have any copies, so I had to recall everything and retype the whole chapter again. I'll try to put up the next chapter as soon as possible. Sorry, but I'm not really going to do any pairings. Well, at least none that I know of yet. And no, I am not going to kill Mistress Jeanne off (just maybe put her out of commission for a while). Well, we'll see. For now, enjoy this chappie!
Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King.
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After the horrible mess had been cleaned up by (and only) Horohoro, since Anna had deemed it entirely his fault, and everyone had showered in the bathrooms upstairs, everyone sat in the tearoom again, still bored. Horohoro was still showering, and he'd been forced to go last. Anna even took the liberty to cut off the water heater, not caring whether said shaman would catch a chill.
Everyone sat in the tearoom…doing nothing, like before Horohoro caused the whole disaster. Just then, the screen door slid open, and said Ainu popped in, looking refreshed from the shower (even though it wasn't heated).
" Hi! How's it going?"
No one reacted. Or rather they did, by glaring at Horohoro, who winced internally.
" I believe I owe you something," Anna said ominously, holding the 1080.
Horohoro gulped. When the end (not, more like unconsciousness) came, he welcomed it.
4 hours later…
" Did you guys have to be so brutal? " Horohoro wailed, now sporting bandages and bruises in several areas, one arm in a sling, while the other arm could barely hold onto a crutch.
This was the aftermath after everyone had done their fair share of beating on the unfortunate Ainu.
Apparently, after Anna did a number on him with her shikigamis and her Legendary slaps, and getting assaulted multiple times by Ryu's Mountain Hydras Oversoul Form, Chocolove had set Mick on him, and chased him out to the streets. Horohoro had started screaming his head off on the streets, after a truck nearly hit him, with the jaguar guardian spirit hot on his heels. As the disturbed pedestrians were not shamans, they couldn't see Mick, so seeing some weird blue-haired guy screaming his head off for apparently no reason while running away from seemingly nothing, and nearly get squished by a truck in the process, they rang up the mental hospital, thinking that Horohoro was crazy. The hospital dispatched a unit that rather forcefully subdued Horohoro and brought him to the mental hospital, where he was forced to wear a straitjacket and got locked up in a padded room. It took the other shamans 2 hours to find him, and another hour to convince the hospital staff that Horohoro had just taken too much coffee, candy and an over dosage of cough medicine, and that caused him to hallucinate.
The explanation was rather feeble and unconvincing, but as Ren had put it, the hospital staff probably just didn't want to have to deal with Horohoro, and were only too glad to be rid of him (that comment earned Ren a glare from the unfortunate victim).
" That whole mess was all your fault, stupid," Ren glared at Horohoro.
" Why you-" Horohoro tried to stand, but yelped instead in pain and sat back down. You couldn't exactly walk very easily with a sprained ankle (he'd sprained it after tripping and falling on his face while trying to run away from the hospital staff who were very well armed with hypodermic needles).
Hao didn't look up or bother to add a comment to what he would have called a 'stupid and pointless' argument. He just continued glaring at the useless things that the stupid humans had created, and running through his mind what to do with stupid and troublesome idiots like a certain blue-haired Ainu in the room.
Ren continued. " I'd sooner rather that truck really hit you. Then we wouldn't have to deal with your lunacy anymore, baka."
" I'd pick paying for your hospital bill orthe casket company over having to practically baby-sit you and explain to everyone about your stupid behaviour any day." Chocolove didn't seem in a wisecracking mood today.
" Well, pardon me, but I believe that it was you who set Mick on me." Horohoro glared.
" Well, you didn't have to start screaming your head off. And you could've tried to perform your oversoul and subdue him," Chocolove countered.
" Plus Mick couldn't really do anything to you since he wasn't in his oversoul form, so basically, you were running for nothing. He'd probably only be able to growl very threateningly at you, and maybe try to claw you. You're so stupid." Ren added.
Horohoro made an attempt to stand, and somehow succeeded, and was about to limp his way to Chocolove and Ren to thrash them the best he could while being swathed in bandages and hobbling on a crutch, before he found himself on the floor, his face inches away from having a close encounter with a vase.
He could see Ren smirking.
Yoh stood over him, one foot stuck out where he'd evidently tripped Horohoro. Jun's eyebrows raised in slight surprise. Yoh, for one, was the last person who would probably try a nasty trick like that on his friends.
" Yoh! Why'd you trip Nii-chan! The broken vase could have hurt him! " Pirika didn't seem too happy.
"Who cares?" Hao shrugged nonchalantly and went back to sitting on the couch.
Hao's nonchalant reaction caused Pirika to get rather agitated and pop a vein, and to try to maim Hao in some way, had Ryu not restrained her.
Horohoro painfully got up from his position on the floor and glared at Hao, before trying to go over and inflict some harm on him instead. His progress was stopped rather rudely by his crutches, which he hadn't noticed in his anger. Everyone winced as yet another thump resonated throughout the whole of the Asakura residence.
Horohoro very painfully got up for the 100th time that day.
Manta sighed, while wincing at the pain at his head, where he sported an ice pack after smashing head-on with Horohoro's icicle. " 4 accidents already in less than half a day. Man, why are you so accident-prone? At least don't involve us in your stupidity."
Horohoro just decided to sulk on the floor, and perhaps, drown in his stupidity (As Ren put it rather nastily).
Hao went back to thinking about the whole body-switching experience. H'mm. If I'm stuck in my idiot other half's body, which means…OH SHIT! That moron is probably making a fool of himself and behaving like a lunatic in my body! No way-
Hao was jolted out of his reverie by something colourful and pink flying towards him.
He instinctively put Yoh's over-souled katana in front of him, and neatly sliced the flying object in two.
" YOH! HOW COULD YOU RUIN THIS COLLECTORS' EDITION OF CANDYLAND!" Horohoro wailed, picking up the two burnt halves of the board game.
Hao raised an eyebrow, " So? And that guy looks weird. " Motioning to a candy-decked character.
Horohoro glared at Hao menacingly, clutching his precious ruined board game.
" I SPENT 5 HOURS QUEUING UP FOR THIS COLLECTORS' EDITION YOU KNOW! I BOUGHT IT ONLY JUST LAST WEEK! I HAVEN'T EVEN PLAYED WITH IT ONCE! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! TEME! " Horohoro lunged at Hao, as well as he could lunge with a swollen ankle, and fell on his face yet again.
" So that's where you went last week, after you made Yoh and Ryu do all the lunch dishes and only came back at 3a.m the next day, " Tamao said.
" From lunch to 3AM? I thought you only queued up for 5 hours!" Chocolove said in shock.
" Well, the toy fair was in Kyoto, so I ran all the way there, but any way it was worth-"
"-the 40 degrees Celsius fever, swollen ankle, severe dehydration and pneumonia you got the next day! I think not! It was so troublesome. I had spoon feed you your food for 3 days. And why on earth did you go through all that for that stupid board game?" Ryu yelled in protest, remembering the horrifying experience.
" It's not my fault you drew the short straw (they'd drawn straws on who was going to take care of Horohoro since no one seemed particularly interested, and Ryu happened to be the unfortunate person who got stuck with the task)… but anyway…IT'S NOT STUPID!" Horohoro yelled, before Anna whacked him upside the head, temporarily knocking him out.
3 seconds later, the Ainu shot up and ran into the kitchen. Hao resumed thinking of ways to make Horohoro die a horrible and painful death. Pirika was frantically looking for medication to cure her brother's retardedness.
Hao was interrupted at his 190th way by yet another projectile being hurled at his head.
Hao fumed as he took out Yoh's katana and sliced the orange in two. It landed on the floor with a splat.
Horohoro was gaping in shock, his mouth stupidly flung open. Anna just raised an eyebrow.
" What's wrong with you, idiot?" Ren wanted to know.
" Yoh…he KILLED AN ORANGE!" The Ainu said.
" 'Killed'?" Hao looked questioningly at Horohoro.
" So?" Chocolove looked equally bewildered.
" YOH WOULD NEVER KILL AN ORANGE! HE LOVES THEM TOO MUCH! HE EVEN ATE A MOULDY ORANGE BEFORE AND GOT WARDED FOR FOOD POISONING IN THE HOSPITAL!" Horohoro said, before collapsing into a heap from saying everything in one breath.
Hao glared at the citrus fruit, before going over to try to kick Horohoro for the sheer fun of it. However, said shaman shot up and smiled lunatically.
" Hey Hao! " Hao froze for a moment, before Pirika came over and slapped Horohoro.
" That's Yoh! Not Hao! Stop hallucinating!"
" Oh right. Hey Yoh, you wanna play CandyLand?" He held out one half on the board game suggestively.
" No."
" Watch the Teletubbies?"
" No."
" Eat an orange? "
" No."
" Buy a milk bottle? "
" No."
" Play Peek-a-Boo? "
" No."
" What's wrong with you, Yoh! You're so moody! You won't even play CandyLand! "
" I will not touch that atrocity. Now shut up-" Hao was cut off by Horohoro flinging something onto his head.
Everyone stared in horror at the diaper sitting on top of the brunette's head, before they burst out laughing at the sight.
To make it worse, the diaper looked liked it had been, er, used (you know, like a baby has kind of worn it before?).
Hao calmly pulled the offending object from his head and held it as far away from himself as possible. " Where did you get this? "
" OH! At the toy fair, I saw a woman changing her baby's diaper in the toilet, so I took it! " Everyone's mouth hung open in shock. What kind of lunacy was this now?
Hao glared at the seemingly retarded Ainu.
" Um, Horohoro, I think you should-" Tamao began.
" What? I can take anything the Great Spirits throw at me! "
" Not that!"
" Are you done talking yet?"
Horohoro slowly turned around to see a very murderous-looking Yoh holding the Spirit of Sword in one hand.
" Hehe…" Was all Horohoro could muster, before he broke into a run.
" Celestial Slash! "
The loud boom that resonated throughout the whole of Tokyo was nothing compared to a certain shaman's screams of terror.
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With Yoh, Opacho and the Hana-gumi
" It will be too late to change your mind, Asakura Hao and your subordinates. " A feminine voice said.
-sacrificial music plays-
Yoh turned around… to see the X-LAWS, at the same time thinking oh crap.
Yoh smiled sheepishly as Marco rolled the Iron Maiden forward.
" Man, how stupid. Can't your oh-so-great-Mistress-Jeanne- walk? Or does that bitchy Iron Maiden think she needs to be wheeled around everywhere? " Macchi said rudely, glaring at the Iron Maiden.
Marco's face reddened in anger, and he shook his fist at the redhead. " You will not get away with insulting The Iron Maiden Mistress Jeanne!"
"Oh, now it's 'The Iron Maiden', right, Blondie? "
Marco popped a vein, and glared daggers at Macchi. He readied his gun, about to summon Michael.
" Marco, calm down. The X-laws will not tolerate any rash acts. Our mission is to eliminate Asakura Hao, before he can do any damage during this Shaman Fight. What will happen after he gets reincarnated 500 years from now will be up to our descendents. And besides, this is nothing compared to what I have endured trying to erase evil from the world."
Even Yoh had to snort in derision at the Iron Maiden's last comment.
" Hmph. If you really wanted to do that, you'd have to kill yourself too," Kanna said, as Ashcroft appeared beside her.
Yoh began to panic internally. Okay, what was he supposed to do now? As much as he disliked the X-laws, he had no intention of killing any of them. But if he didn't do anything, Mari, Macchi and Kanna would probably end maiming them. And if he didn't allow any of them to do anything, he'd get killed. And he'd never get back into his own body.
-I HATE YOU HAO! AND YOU GREAT SPIRITS! Okay, I take that back! It's wrong to hate people! Or spirits! Think peace! But that doesn't solve the problem at hand-
" WHAT TO DOOOOOOOO!" Yoh exclaimed, and started crying a puddle of tears.
" I see that you are overwhelmed by Mistress Jeanne's greatness, Hao!"
Yoh sat up. Wait…he knew that voice.
" Lyserg?"
" Hao! I will kill you and avenge my parents!" The British Shaman yelled.
" Lyserg-kun! Long time no see!" Yoh evidently hadn't heard Lyserg's previous declaration.
" Lyserg-kun? What are you up to now, Hao?"
" Hey! I'm not up to anything! Why would I?" Yoh protested, not realizing full well that since he was in Hao's body, any reassurance wasn't convincing, since any reassurance from Hao usually turned out to be a death trap.
"…AND BESIDES…I'M NOT HAO-" Yoh yelled, before the Hana-gumi all gasped.
Lyserg's and all the other X-laws faces' mirrored the same confusion. Not Hao? What did he mean?
" Hao-sama! No! This can't be happening!" Mari yelled, clutching Yoh in an overly, er, close hug.
Yoh didn't notice the disturbing hug, and proceeded to stand up, yelling," YES! YOU HEARD ME RIGHT! I'M NOT HAO, I'M-"
Mari clapped a hand over Yoh's mouth. " Eheh…Hao-sama…This is for your own good!"
Yoh glared at Mari, who yelped at the sight of the murderous glare, and removed her hand from his mouth.
Lyserg proceeded to glare at Hao, and took out his pistol, about to attack Yoh with his Archangel, Zeruel.
" Stop, Lyserg Diethel. I will handle this fiend." The Iron Maiden swung open a crack, giving off a blinding beam of bright light.
Yoh sweatdropped and shielded his eyes from the blinding light.
Marco was absolutely furious (because he just felt like it). His face was going from crimson red to blue from lack oxygen. He managed to let out a strangled 'MICHAEL!', fire his gun, summon the Archangel, which faded from existence due to its master losing consciousness, before he collapsed from bursting a major artery. Mina and the remaining X-laws quickly transferred some of their furyoku into him, saving him from a certain death.
" Tsk. How stupid, " Kanna shook her head in mock pity, looking at the X-laws, and Marco sprawled on the ground.
The Iron Maiden is STILL giving off a blinding white light, and is STILL opened only a crack. Yoh expected the Iron Maiden to open, and the leader of the X-laws to step out wearing her ridiculous metal headdress (Well to Yoh, it IS ridiculous). He tensed his muscles (Hao does seem to have a lot) and waited. And waited.
Minutes ticked by, and yet the doors of the Iron Maiden didn't open. Like it was jammed. No it WAS jammed. At least that's how it looked. They heard a violent banging sound coming from the inside. Apparently Mistress Jeanne's attempt to kick open the malfunctioned doors were all in vain.
" SHIT! KUSO! WHY WON'T THIS DAMNED DOOR OPEN!" The leader of the X-laws normally more, er, gentle voice rang out from inside the Iron Maiden.
" GREAT! NOW THIS STUPID DOOR HAS RUINED MY GRAND ENTRANCE!"
Marco, who had just woken up, gasped in shock as his eyes became bloodshot and bugged out of his head, at hearing his great Iron Maiden Mistress Jeanne… CURSE! That was against the code of the X-laws! (Okay, fine, so maybe all of them had already violated it, but, Mistress Jeanne would NEVER CURSE!) She couldn't have done! He must be hearing things! Lyserg looked kind of shocked too, but at least he didn't look as shocked (and stupid) as Marco, whose mouth was hung open in shock.
Marco fainted for the second time in the day, in under ten minutes.
Yoh looked slightly amused at X-laws trying to shake Marco back into consciousness, and at the enraged leader of the X-laws trying (and failing) to kick open the doors of the Iron Maiden.
" GREAT! OPEN YOU STUPID IRON MAIDEN! I AM NEVER GOING INTO YOU AGAIN, IF THAT FOUL FIEND ASAKURA HAO DOESN'T KILL ME THERE AND THEN! NOT AFTER I HAVE BEEN IN YOU FOR 156 CONSECUTIVE DAYS SINCE I LAST CAME OUT!"
The Hana-gumi's jaw dropped.
" 156 DAYS WITHOUT EATING, DRINKING, SLEEPING!" Macchi screamed in shock.
" Do you know what IT MEANS? 156 DAYS WITHOUT BATHING! Ohmigosh! That Mistress Jeanne probably STINKS like CRAP!" Kanna said, gasping in revulsion.
At this, all of the Hana-gumi screamed in terror, and Yoh amusedly watched as the already enraged Iron Maiden started yelling at the Hana-gumi, while trying to get the doors of her contraption to open without breaking her leg.
" OH SHUT IT YOU IMBECILES! " Was the Iron Maiden's very frustrated reply.
Yoh stood there, a sheepish smile plastered on his face. H'mm…this would be a VERY good time to escape. Okay, how does Hao do that vanishing thingy…Oh well, here goes nothing-
Suddenly, the Spirit of Fire appeared, engulfing him, the Hana-gumi and Opacho in flames.
" Ja-ne! Lyserg-kun I hope to see you soon!" Yoh smiled triumphantly at the furious X-laws, especially Marco who was going red in the face in fury on seeing Yoh's smugness.
" HELLO! I'M STILL STUCK! " Mistress Jeanne was screaming. " DON'T TELL ME THAT EVIL HAO ESCAPED!"
All the X-laws confirmed the fact, which led to the Iron Maiden yelling and cursing for yet another hour, much to the other X-laws' shock and horror.
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So, how's this chappie? Sorry to those of you who were hoping that Yoh would fight the X-laws in this chapter. I originally intended the fight to be in this chappie, but it would be too long. I promise it'll be in the next chapter. So anyway, pls review! I'd like to know what you think of this story!
P.S Yes, I know some characters, especially Mistress Jeanne are OOC.