I HAVE REVIEWS! YAY! Kudos to glowing-ice, it's a riot, and singdownthemoonHorselver. I'm glad you liked it! She fainted because of James, and I didn't particularly feel like writing a shouting match, so, as the idiot playing God here, I made her faint instead. Personally, I can't say I like Windex all that much, once I sprayed it at a window and it rebounded to hit me in the eye. And I may or may not add new characters. Which hurt. It depends on how much my friends beg to be put in it. Because I really need a new calculator, and if one is offered, I just can't resist. So…since I have nothing else ramble on about…here's chapter 2!

Disclaimer: Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I could say this is mine,

But that isn't true!

Chapter Two: Kumquat

"Evans…Evans…C'mon, Lily, wake up!"

"Huh?" Lily said, as a vaguely familiar voice was calling her name. She opened her eyes, to see James Potter leaning over. She shut her eyes, and then opened them again. He was still there. "Where are we, Potter, and why are you here?" she asked, frowning at him.

He smiled back at her. "We're in the Heads' compartment―"

"So what are you doing in here?"

"I'm, uh―" he coughed "―I'm Head Boy, actually," he finished, his smile fading slightly as Lily looked at him like he had suddenly morphed into Freddy Krueger.

"You―but―what―how could you―Head Boy!" she spluttered.

"Am I really that irresponsible?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied without hesitation.

"Aw, c'mon, Lils, give me a chance."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you are the most selfish, rude, big-headed, arrogant prat I have ever had the displeasure to meet."

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaase?"

"No!"

And so the train ride went.

"You know you love me."

"Shut up, Potter," Lily said as she and James climbed into a thestral-drawn carriage. Not that either of them knew that.

"I'll shut up if you go out with me, sweets."

"Prongs, mate, girls really don't like to be called food names." Sirius Black had followed them in, along with Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and a couple of Lily's friends, two girls called Jessica and Abigail, also known as Jessi and Nerd.

"I love you, Nerd," said Jessi, seating herself, not realizing that the seat she tried to take was already occupied. Remus looked quite shocked at this turn of events, and Jessi, blushing furiously, slid off his lap and into the seat next to him instead. "Sorry," she muttered, smiling at him.

"I love you, too, Jessi," Abby said, politely ignoring the fact that her friend had just done something extremely stupid. "What do you want?"

"Help with my Arithmancy homework when we get some," Jessi replied. "Why am I even taking that subject, anyway?"

"Because after graduation you can't just sit on your ass 24/7, and you may as well try to do something useful."

Meanwhile, James and Sirius were continuing their conversation about girls and food names.

"But why not?"

"Dunno. I'd want to be called food names. Let's see...I'd want to be called chocolate...and apple pie..." a look of rapture filled Sirius' face as he considered all the wonderful delights of being named after food.

"...peanut butter...and roast beef...and steak..." James continued, assuming the same expression as Sirius.

Lily rolled her eyes as the carriage rolled to a stop. "We can call you food names, kumquat," she said, climbing out. Jessi and Abby laughed. Sirius frowned. "What's a kumquat?" he asked.

"It's a type of fruit," Jessi answered. "Right?" she glanced at Abby, who nodded, and added, "If you don't like the name, blame the Chinese. They came up with it." The girls followed Lily out of the carriage.

Once in the Great Hall, Lily looked for some open places at the Gryffindor table through the sea of students milling about aimlessly. After about five minutes of fruitless searching, someone shouted her name.

"Oi, Lily, over here!" Now having a direction to focus in, Lily quickly spotted her friend Grace and sat down across from her. Jessi and Abby soon joined them, along with, to Lily's horror, the Marauders.

"Hope they hurry up with the Sorting, I'm famished," Sirius said, staring in longing at his empty plate. James, Remus, and Peter laughed, while Lily glared at them. Her friends assumed carefully neutral expressions; they couldn't bring themselves to glare at people who shared their sentiments.

Abby rolled her eyes after Lily had been wearing one of those "if looks could turn people into jelly, you'd be a pile of mush on the floor" expressions for at least five minutes. "You know, Lils, it's not a crime to be hungry. I could use a nice, cold glass of pumpkin juice right now," she paused. "And a drumstick or three, and some mashed potatoes, and some corn, and a couple of biscuits, and―"

"―and the Sorting's about to start!" Lily hissed at her, but she got the point. The Sorting Hat opened it's rip and began to sing. Sirius and James started a game of Exploding Snap, and Abby took out a book while Jessi and Grace took out a piece of parchment and began to write something that looked suspiciously like a note. Remus gave them all a look that said, "I'll just pretend I'm not seeing this," but Lily didn't notice anything until a house of cards blew up in her face, causing her glare at Peter, who was, incidentally, directly across from her, and right between James and Sirius. She scowled all through Dumbledore's speech. Then the food appeared, and she was distracted from her dutiful scowling by Abby, who had yet to glance up from her book. She poked the bookworm in the ribs. Abby squeaked and jumped slightly, then forgot all about her extremely ticklish ribs as she spotted the victuals before her.

"Food!" she cried happily, grabbing a plate of mashed potatoes and covering her plate in them. Satisfied her friend would be eating, Lily turned to her own plate.

Sirius, however, wasn't eating. Instead, he was staring at the fruit in front of him, trying to figure out what it is. Remus looked at him concernedly, Sirius never skipped meals. "You okay, Padfoot?" he asked.

"Yeah," Sirius replied. "But what are these things? They look like a cross between an orange and a pear," he said.

Grace paused in her eating and looked expectantly at Abby. "What?" she asked through a mouthful of potatoes.

"What are those?" Grace repeated Sirius' question, pointing. Abby swallowed and grinned.

"They're kumquats," she answered.