"In the Crininal Justice System. The Imperial Starfleet is responsible for investigating and prosecuting crimes occured in this galaxy. These are their stories."
"Look what you did now, you stupid greaseball." C-3PO was ranting because R2-D2 had tripped him and caused him to spill a pot of coffee. R2 beeped a response to him. "Why should I care that we're stuck working for the Empire. After all, it's better work than what we were doing how much use have they found for us." R2 beeped for him to shut up. "Oh, switch off. I'm not the one carrying the plans to the Death Star. Remember that next time Master Tevin mentions his father looking for you." R2 ran off with 3PO chasing him and still yakking. David watched the exchange and turned to Hector.
"Remind me why we have them"
"They were left in Tevin's custody along with Khayman's Hummer." Liz walked up on them. "I found them rummaging through secure files. Tevin figured that Khayman left them here because 3PO tends to be very annoying at times." David agreed with his wife's reasoning. Compared to Erik and Joe's constant back and forth regarding the things women do on Jerry Springer that David found annoying, 3PO was very annoying. "No, I will not stop following you. Last time I let you go off by yourself you got lost. You blind tin can." The droids were arguing again. David watched this exchange between the two droids. C-3PO kicked R2 as R2 went on about how 3PO always seemed to fall apart. "That's beside the point, so what if I was built by Darth Vader himself. You always seem to be insulting me. That is going to stop." Hector stared at the two droids.
"Vader built that"
"The files say that Vader was a 9 year old named Anakin Skywalker when 3PO was built. R2 was in the service of the Naboo Royal Court. He was gray as of the start of the Clone Wars. After Genosis, he was plated gold by Senator Amidala and had his memory wiped after the Clone Wars. Because he has a big fat mouth. He spent the next 20 years with various masters doing various jobs along with R2, before winding up back at the Alderaan Royal Court in the service of Captain Antillies and Princess Leia Organa. There they found themselves nearly working for Owen Lars on his moisture farm, but Tevin's father got there while R2 was running away looking for Obi-Wan Kenobi. They then found themselves on the first Death Star assisting in the escape of Princess Leia. At the Battle of Yavin, R2 was in Luke Skywalker's X-Wing." Liz stopped to take a drink. "At Hoth, the droids were separated with 3PO going to Bespin and getting blasted apart, a Wookie put his head on backwards, and R2 going with Skywalker to Dagobah. At Endor, they went with the ground team where R2 got blasted and the locals thought 3PO was a god. After Endor, they found themselves in all sorts of adventures, until the Solo children were born and Skywalker began training new Jedi, Khayman and Durron among them. Then they came here and that's where Khayman's detailed accounts of their use begins." Liz took a few breaths, then turned to her husband and brother-in-law. "Read the files yourselves, unless you sleep in a crib. I don't read stories." She handed them the files on the two droids.
"You know Hector will lose them. Better make copies"
"I do not lose stuff"
"Where's your cellphone? I rest my case"
"You are extremely stupid. It's on the charger"
"Oh really, then why is Erik calling a 900 number on it?" Liz stepped in.
"Before it comes to blows. Their cellphones look alike"
"We don't fight in front of Erik"
"I've seen you two fight in front of him several times." Liz was used to them arguing all the time.
"Hector, go screw with the Roosevelt Tram. David, go get something to eat." That caught Davin's attention.
"Those two are in charge here"
"They spend more time arguing then working. Hector finds the Roosevelt Tram amusing to have TIE Fighters screw with on a weekly basis"
"I was told that had to stop"
"Tell Hector then. I'm not responsible if it takes a squad to hold him back."
76 St. & Amsterdam Av.
"Carrie, is he your boyfriend?" Terry asked the young lady.
"Of course he is"
"I've been doing this for a while now. That's the oldest lie in the book." Paul stood behind Terry.
"So he's your boyfriend. Mind if I ask him"
"She your girlfriend"
"Yeah"
"How long you been seeing her"
"Bro, why you need to know that"
"Bro. I look like your bro to you"
"No, but she really is my girl"
"Step out"
"Why? What did I do"
"She's a prostitute. How much did she say it was"
"What"
"Terry, place her in hooks"
"Don't tell them anything"
"Right, listen to wannabe lawyer"
"I'm not working"
"You're lying to me again"
"No I'm not. Jackson, you're lying"
"I don't buy the crying routine"
"You're under arrest for solication of prostitution. You are under arrest for prostitution." Paul didn't like liars anymore than Terry and if you lied to them you would regret it.
The next few hours continued with Davin and the droids telling various stories about the Galactic Civil War which seemed to catch Erik's usually perverse interests. One of the better stories was when Daala attacked the Jedi Academy. Davin explained that the Jedi had used the Force to toss 17 Imperial-class Star Destroyers out of the system. R2 played a clip of an AT-ST being smashed which Davin explained was not supposed to be there after the failure of them at Endor. He went on about how Daala used the turbolasers on her Star Destroyer to strike from orbit.
"One of better commanders was Thrawn. Show him a piece of art and he'd figure out how to defeat them"
"What happened to him?" Erik asked.
"His bodyguard killed him. Gilad said the bodyguard never made it off the ship." Tevin had thought Davin's arrival meant that Imperial procedure was going to be followed to the letter. Which was true until Davin found out that would make him very unwanted. So he had resorted to telling war stories with the droids that he had been sent after when he was a fresh faced Stormtrooper. This of course set off another argument between R2 and 3PO. R2 decided to shut 3PO up by playing old data. "Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope." The message played several times before 3PO told R2 to shut it off.
"Very interesting. I assume that this droid's memory was never wiped"
"No, Sir it wasn't. Oh shut up, you malfunctioning tin can." R2 played another clip. This time of Khayman.
"You are trying my patience today." Khayman snapped at a suspect. R2 beeped a question. "I suppose there would be no issue playing that." Of Khayman again.
"If this is being played for Imperial High Command, then I am dead and this droid is now in Imperial hands. If this is being played for some DA, then I am dead and at least 1 Imperial Officer is in the defendant's chair. Hello to whoever you are. This story begins on a fateful September morning in the year 2001. That day will never be forgotten. It was the day that changed America and the Earth forever. Jen keep 3PO and the kids out of here. Imperial Admiral Firmus Piett, General Maximilian Veers, and Moff Thomas Jerjerrod are mass murderers. No, R2 this is fine. We are at the site of the World Trade Center one of many sites in this war." Khayman paused for a moment. "That was the beginning, a Death Star was going to be built, far from prying Republic eyes. The first one that was built claimed the planet KO-35 as its first and thanks to the Empire's utter stupidity at awakening a sleeping giant and filling it with a great resolve the only victim of it. The war was long and hard but America's resolve kept on leading the charge even with New York being invaded by Stormtroopers during a citywide blackout. A few months after this, I was contacted by a Stormtrooper and a young woman regarding the construction of another Death Star." Khayman paused again. "This time I wasn't letting Piett and his goons get away. Armed with arrest warrants and a fleet twice the size of the Rebel fleet at Endor, I set off to capture Piett and his goons and bring them back to Earth and make them stand trial. The Death Star was eventually destroyed along with the Knight Hammer. Piett just wouldn't stop, a few months later he was in Europe attempting to rebuild Adolf Hitler's Empire. The US once again went after him, thanks to the efforts of Palpatine we had clones of several historic Generals including Rommel; who is in charge of rebuilding Germany, Patton; who is assisting Rommel, and Eisenhower; who led the charge into Berlin. After that was over, I basically settled into a normal life." R2's beeping was heard in the background. "No, R2 I'm sure that might bore someone. I don't think the Empire would care about the mob anymore than I care for Jen's cooking." Jessie was shocked. R2 noted her look and paused the recording.
"You think you know a person, then they tell this crap to a droid, thinking it would never be revealed"
"Wonder what other dirty little secrets R2's been keeping for people." Liz made a habit of posing questions as statements. David stared at her nervously, he had told R2 that he couldn't stand her cooking at times. R2 continued with the recording. "Piett continued to escape from justice. He attempted to murder me on several more occassions, the last one was foiled by his own son who said he disowned his father. Jack McCoy eventually prosecuted Piett for his actions, jury's still out. As for me, well I have yet to hear about Veers and Jerjerrod's trials. I'm sure no jury will acquit them for--" A gunshot was heard and Khayman fell to the ground lifeless. R2 was heard beeping at him. Two men came up to the droid. "We can't let this be heard in court now can we. General Veers will be most displeased if it is heard." Davin seethed in rage. Veers would pay dearly for this. Liz turned to the droid.
"So who else are you keeping secrets for"
"Liz, leave the droid alone. It just played one of the most horrible things in its memory bank." R2 accidentally played a clip of David. "R2 was my wife's chicken tossed like I told 3PO to do?" R2 beeped a response. "Why is 3PO off? That question's as bad as Liz's cooking at times. Mainly her chicken." Liz punched David in the chest.
"You can sleep on the floor for that"
"I didn't know it recorded that. Liz, I didn't mean it." R2 could be very devious at times. C-3PO was horrified.
"R2, stop this at once"
"No, keep it going. I want to know all the dirt about people." Davin chose to step in before there were fights breaking out.
"All right R2 we've seen enough and I need that part where Khayman gets shot for the ADA handling Veers' case"
"Thank you, Sir."
Fin had continued his search for Mike's attacker with Elliot Stabler. They interviewed several witnesses who were refusing to answer their questions, that is until they were threatened with a trip to jail.
"Where's Munch"
"Banged in sick. Where's Bensen"
"Caught a child abuse case at the hospital. What's with Munch? This is the third time this week he's had West Nile"
"He's paranoid about standing water." Typical Munch, claiming he caught the illness of the season. They met up with Hector who was watching two Stormtroopers putting someone into a car.
"What did he do"
"Walked into a triple-X joint, parole violation." Hector often enjoyed following parolees whenever watching David and Liz argue grew boring. He would sit in a car and watch the parolee give in to his temptations. When he did, Hector would spring the trap and violate the parole. It was time-consuming, but it kept parolees on their toes about who was watching them.
"You have a tail light out, Sir." Tevin said to the man in the van he and Mike pulled over.
"I didn't know about that." Mike smelled something funny.
"Have you folks been smoking anything lately"
"No"
"I detect the presence of an illegal substance. Step out." Tevin called for another car.
"Do I have permission to search the van"
"If I say no"
"Same thing as if you say yes." Two Stormtroopers arrived.
"Place them in the back"
"Yes, Sir." The other trooper began searching the van.
"We're screwed." The two men looked at each other. Tevin was going to find their stash of drugs and stolen property. The Stormtroopers appeared carrying several boxes. That did it.
"Step out"
"What's going on"
"You both are under arrest for possession of CDS with intent to distribute and possession of stolen property. Those skateboards belong to Target. Your van is being impounded and you will spend the night at IDC. Read them their rights." He said to the Stormtroopers.
"You planted that"
"That's a new one. I've never heard that before." The next few hours passed by slowly. Mike complaining about the cost of things; food mainly. Tevin wrote a couple of speeding tickets and complained some more about the neighbors annoying him to the point of him putting them in IDC for a week or more depending on how long the paperwork can be lost or screwed up. They had decided to walk along Queens Boulevard and get something to eat. They passed a man wearing dirty clothes. Mike looked at the man and tapped Tevin on the shoulder.
"Are you sure"
"A face as ugly as that." The man reached for the pipe in his jacket. Tevin grabbed his blaster. The man charged at Mike but fell to the sidewalk after Tevin fired a stun blast at him. A pair of Stormtroopers arrived and put the man in a pair of stun-cuffs.
Kelly had stopped by the office later that day. Tevin had decided to be a jerk again, not that she cared about it. She had grown to tolerate it, for he could really be extremely sweet when he wanted to be or when he knew she needed him.
"What are you doing here"
"Dropping off Jessie's bundle of terror. What are you doing here"
"Waiting on Fin, Mike caught his perp." Tevin ran his hand through the boy's hair and went to find Joe. "Joe, your little bundle spent the day driving my wife crazy." Kelly watched as Erik Jensen ran over to grab the boy.
"Erik, do you mind not pushing me into things." David said from behind him.
"You don't mind being pushed into Liz"
"That's different, she's not a table." Jessie and Liz appeared.
"You're comparing me to a piece of furniture"
"No, I'm not. Erik started it." Liz pushed him into a chair and sat on him.
"Don't let 3PO see that." Jessie giggled as Joe came up behind her and grabbed her. Tevin attempted to grab Kelly but wound up face to face with her. Kelly pushed him into a chair. Tevin snickered while she played with his hair. Erik shooed the two kids away and left himself. Tevin kissed Kelly softly as she murmured something about the weather into his chest. The light rain had turned into a downpour. Kelly was grateful that Tevin was giving her, R2, 3PO, and the baby a ride home.
"Tevin, where are you going"
"Battery Tunnel"
"Why"
"Avoiding the mess on the LIE"
"Where's Mike"
"With Fin, he said he'd get a ride home from somewhere." She looked back at the baby who had fallen asleep despite the pounding rain and Tevin screaming at a bus to move. After a stop for dinner and several twists and turns, they finally made it home. Tevin put dinner and the baby at the table with C-3PO. R2-D2 was spinning around the house and Kelly had jumped onto Tevin's back. Tevin went to sit down and leaned back into Kelly who kissed him again.
"What are you doing to me"
"Nothing"
"Excuse me while I get out of these wet clothes." He stood up and went upstairs. Kelly stared at him and wondered if there was something amiss in him. She decided to get dinner out. C-3PO was standing behind her.
"Excuse me ma'am, but is there anything I can do"
"Get the dinner plates out of the dishwasher and set them up." Tevin returned with a little more energy. Dinner was the same as every night despite R2 and 3PO arguing in the background and Tevin ordering way too much food.
"Nice and quiet without the freeloaders here." Kelly was being sarcastic, who could have any conversation with the droids in the background.
"Mike knows he's got cold food waiting for him and I'll probably be up eating A.J.'s share during the middle of the night"
"If Mike doesn't eat it first"
"Mike will eat anything that's left sitting out." The rest of the night went by quietly thanks to Mike coming in and shutting down 3PO. Kelly had gone and sat on the porch swing where Tevin soon joined her.
"Hey, don't want to be out here alone"
"Being with you makes things alot better"
"How long has it been"
"Three enjoyable years since I took a Stormtrooper for a boyfriend"
"And yet here we are. Married, baby, nice house, two cars, two droids, and I'm not worrying about some overzealous DA trying to put me in jail for no reason." She put her head in his chest. Life seemed so perfect for him now. Mike came out.
"You guys eating that extra food"
"At least he asked first." Kelly mumbled against Tevin's chest.
"That was for A.J., but since he isn't here to eat it"
"Great. His loss, my gain." Tevin turned to Kelly. She was asleep. He began stroking her hair. It might have been the weather, but he didn't want to move her. She was so comfortable there and he felt that moving her might cause her to awaken.
The next morning, Kelly awoke to find that Tevin had put her on a couch. She stared at him.
"You didn't want to get soaked. Did you"
"I wouldn't have cared"
"Would you?" Tevin was playing mind games with her and she didn't like it when he did. He snickered as she tried to pull herself to her feet.
"You could help"
"What fun is that." She threw a pillow at him. Now he was being annoying and she hated that even more than his mind games. She finally made it to her feet. Tevin's amusement turned to worry after she fell down again.
"How much did I drink last night"
"Not as much as Mike." Mike came out of the basement and fell down. C-3PO stood over him.
"Such torrid behavior for Imperial Officers. I expect this out of General Solo but not you, Sir. If there ever was a reason for this behavoir, I have not found it yet. The many problems with this planet and this city never cease to amaze me. After all, I am programmed for protocal and etiquette and this drunkeness is clearly not either of those. But, you people would never know or care. Somedays I wonder what came over Mistress Jennifer to do this to me. She never expressed any unhappiness with..." Mike shut him off again.
"I don't need that going this early in the morning"
"Neither do I"
"You two did get wasted last night"
"We all had a wild night. What did you do to your arm"
"Mike, you got me a tattoo"
"You got one yourself. I just held you down." Tevin stared at him. Kelly stared out the window.
"Look at the car"
"What"
"It's covered in mud and you tore up the front lawn"
"Tore up their lawn too." The neighbor came over.
"Do you know what you did to my lawn you ingrates. I spend alot of money on it. You are going to repair it. Even if I have to sue you. This is even worse than the casino in the tree, the time you people brought your heavy equipment here, the time you were throwing parties every night, when you blasted a hole in my car, I can continue if you want me to"
"Where's 3PO"
"Mike shut him down because he was running at the mouth again." R2-D2 had appeared and activated 3PO.
"Oh my, R2 what happened to me?" R2 rolled away.
"R2, come back at once. I'm not finished with you. Do you even hear me?" R2 began beeping a string of curses.
"I'm going to wash the car and get something to eat"
"I'll join you." Kelly folowed him out.
INTERROGATION ROOM, IMPERIAL BASE
"Name." Joe stared at the man who had been arrested in connection with the attack on Mike.
"Stauf, Namon. Wing Commander. Imperial Starfighter Corps. 152654"
"Place of Birth"
"Stauf, Namon. Wing Commander. Imperial Starfighter Corps. 152654." Joe left the room.
"All he knows is name, rank, branch of service, operating number." A young man stared through the window as Davin commented on the fact their suspect thought he was a POW. Joe turned to the young man.
"You are"
"Colonel Ryan Pratchard. Imperial A.G"
"General Joseph Rodgers. I'm CO here"
"I thought he was the CO"
"He and his kid wish"
"Joe wishes that the Navy would leave"
"So where are you living and where did Rommel find you"
"Greenwich Village and I was assigned to the Firestorm when the first fleet arrived. After Veers pulled all his stunts and pinned it on Piett, Myself and numerous others deserted. We settled in various locations and found civilian work. I went into civil law and was hired on by Legal Aid where I did some criminal work, tore Khayman and his brother to shreds several times. Eventually Rommel found me and told me what happened with everything. By the way, congrats on being a grandfather. So here I am"
"I still have no clue what possessed Tevin to have kids here"
"Try talking to our perp while I show Ryan around. Maybe he'll talk to you." They found Erik Jensen being his usual self.
"Erik, are you doing something right now"
"Uh, I was getting coffee"
"Go get the donuts before Hector gets here. He will keep you on your toes. Tevin and Michael too, but Mike's Navy so he's Hector's problem."
DINER, JAMACIA AVENUE & WOODHAVEN BVLD
"So, what's this rumor that the guy who jacked up Mike was a TIE pilot"
"He claims to have an ID number but I think it's still being checked." A waitress came over.
"We have bacon, sausage, or ham"
"Surprise me"
"Home fries, hash browns, or OBrians"
"Fries. Am I your only customer"
"You're the only one who tips well"
"Why did you order all this"
"I'm hungry"
"You're always hungry." The waitress returned.
"More coffee"
"Yes." Kelly stared at the usual traffic. Trucks, cars, Q11s, Q53s, Q56s, BQM1s, other express buses, cabs, and the J/Z trains overhead. She wondered if Tevin even knew or cared about things that were important to her. He sat there eating, no stuffing his face full of pancakes. A loud noise was heard outside, Kelly presumed it was the subway again. Tevin's head beamed up, and stared at a Q11 that had backfired. "Typical, Green Lines disturbing my breakfast again." He went back to stuffing his face. She grabbed at the french toast before he stuffed his face full of that. A Z train slowed to a stop. As the train stopped a bottle fell from the tracks and shattered on the roof of the Hummer. A J train stopped in the other direction as the Z left leaving a few more bottles to drop onto the Hummer's roof. The waitress returned.
"Anything else"
"Something to keep those bottles from falling off the subway"
"We've complained to the MTA, but nothing's happened yet. We've complained to Green and Triboro about their buses backfiring, but no answer"
"Green's management doesn't seem to care about anything except money. I've complained about being blinded by the Q60 numerous times. The other problem is that Green, Triboro, Command, and Jamacia are an alliance. She wants coffee." Kelly smiled as Tevin began assulting the sausage. She grabbed at the bacon when he looked out at two filthy Q11s.
"Hey, don't eat my food"
"You'll leave it out and Mike ends up eating it anyway"
"So"
"Share some of this." She took a piece of toast. Tevin kicked her legs. Then they burst out laughing. After they paid for their food, Tevin decided to go give the Q11 that had backfired earlier a piece of his mind. Kelly watched as the bus sped away from him.
"He just ran a red light. I got his bus number for DOT"
"Get in the car and leave Green Lines alone." Tevin ducked when she threw some of the mud on the car at him. The mud hit a parked truck.
"Missed me"
"I'll get you later." Tevin picked at the glass shards.
"Ten year-old scotch. What a waste"
"Move it." They went to wash the mud and the rest of the gunk that had been collected off. Kelly had tried to spray Tevin with the hose, but he had ducked and threw a sponge at her.
"You want to fight"
"Why? We only wind up doing it." She threw the sponge back at him hitting him square in the chest. He pulled off his shirt and grabbed a hose. She brought the bucket of soap over to his side. He sprayed the glass shards off the roof. "What a waste." She flicked some soap at him. He grabbed her from behind and pressed her against the car. She spun around to face him. "You really think, I'd do it right here with you?" He responded with a soft, gentle kiss on her lips. "I know you'd do it with me anywhere." She grinned at him and he pulled her shirt off.
"What am I going to do with you"
"I don't know." Kelly took a breath and toyed with his hair. He opened the car door and placed her on the seat. She moved the child seat out of the way. Tevin smiled softly and went to grab the camera that he kept in the car. He took several pictures of her laying across the seat.
"Why do you take pictures"
"Because I do"
"I really wish you would stop." She kicked at him. Tevin jumped back to avoid her foot. She wished that she was a bit faster. He closed the door and sprayed the side of the car. Kelly opened the door and hopped out. Tevin was finished with the car. After he had put the bucket in the car, he sat on the back and stared at the traffic. Kelly sat next to him. He had begun showing signs of stubble, but she could care less.
"Did you remember to put the hose back"
"I don't have blonde moments." Tevin was as blonde as Kelly was and they often teased each other about it.
"Let me see, the time you nearly let the car roll down Steinway Street. Or the time you got on the BxM2 instead of the X68 and called me from Riverdale"
"Yeah, well both buses looked the same. And, let's not forget the time you went on the Jersey-Staten Island-Brooklyn circle tour"
"Well if Green, Triboro, and those morons who can't drive hadn't stopped up the Midtown tunnel and jammed up everything else, I wouldn't have taken the trip." Kelly put her arm around his back. He pulled her closer to him. Life was good and it could only get better.