Disclaimer: I own nothing except the idea. No money is made and everything belongs to the creator of Garfield, J. K. Rowling and the Monty Python crew. No intention to offend the Slytherin fans.

The Pacemaker

The Pace maker

The Maker of the Pace

The Makious Pacer.

Has quite a ring to it, doesn't it?

I'm trying to find a new name to my new invention. It's a thing with things on and to top it all off there are things on top of the things on top of the things.

Confusing?

I thought so too when I invented it. It is supposed to destroy all purebloods in this school. But how do you make a Pacemaker (the name I decided for it) deadly?

I'll tell you how.

It is the Muggliest of all things. Even more Mugglier than Muggles! It is such a Muggly invention that even the Muggles would cringe if they saw the Muggliest Muggle invention of them all.

It is so Muggly that…that… uhm… That even ol' insane Moldy Shorts would die by just seeing just a little of it.

(And if you're wondering about the different versions of the word Muggle… It's just to express how Muggle like this invention is.)

It is made of three things: A television, a phone, and a Garfield cartoon.

Why is this deadly?

Because the Pureblood is so curious that they take the remote control to the television and soon they figure out that the red button turns the telly on and off. So they turn on the telly by pressing the mysteriously big red button and that sets the phone off. The phone now rings for a minute before the Pureblood finds out that you have to lift it to turn off the sound. When the Pureblood the lifts the Phone, it wakes up Garfield, which will then kill them by his dead funny jokes that he cleverly adapted from the Monty Python's Flying Circus.

And now to something completely different (if you don't know where this comes from you are not worthy of the knowledge. Nah, just kidding):

-From an article in the Hogwarts newspaper:

NEWSFLASH

-The Death Eaters of Hogwarts (TDEoH for short).

TDEoH just died from a tragic event. Lily Evans (Muggleborn) just invented a new weapon called the Pacemaker that destroys the Death Eater using it by aiming with laughter. The Deadliest Joke In The World was also used enthusiastically (A/N: I actually spelled that word right!). Now that our dear school is free of the evil Death Eaters, the pranksters (As in: Marauders) have no victims to prank because the entire house of Slytherin has tragically died.

The list is endless but the most important Death Eaters are:

Severus 'Snivellus' Snape

Regulus Black

Bellatrix Black

(Unknown) Bole

The reason for Mr. Bole unknown first name is that his mother and father died before they could name him, so he took their last name. If called on he would only answer to 'Bole'. Not Richard or any of the names that the orphanage tried to give him. Only Bole.

That was the only important Death Eaters as all the others escaped before hearing the ending of The Deadliest Joke in the World and are doomed to spend the rest of their life in a Muggle mental hospital and the rest of the bodies were not recognizable because of the way they just couldn't stop laughing. Very tragic indeed.

-Written by: Rita Skeeter

So, what do you think? I have an exam in Icelandic tomorrow and I suck at the grammar, so I just wrote these as a quick 5-minute drabble. Please review and tell me what you think!