Chlexville
Season 1 Episode 17
HEART SHREDDER / SOUL REAPER
//Hello. I'm not home right now. Following a scoop because nothing scares me! If you have information pertinent to the weirdness that is Smallville, leave your message after the beep. If it's personal, don't clog my machine.//
BEEP.
"Chloe, where are you? I was just going to tell you I have to go to Metropolis to deliver back my dad's trash. What scoop? How many times have I told you not to chase after every damne-"
BEEP.
"Your machine did not just cut me off. What the hell is wrong with it? I haven't even been on for a full minute! Chloe, if you are there and not just picking up-What am I talking about? You're probably really chasing down mutant freaks. Chloe, I'm telling you again that you're not suppose to- "
BEEP.
"Shit. I'm buying a new answering mach-"
TUT-TUT-TUT-TUUUUT.
Lex looked at his mobile phone in disbelief. What the-The batteries had died down. "Piece of crap." He tossed the phone to the passenger seat and took the wheel in one hand. With his free one, he dove into the glove compartment for his charger. "Where is it?" he muttered.
He carefully maneuvered his way through the almost nonexistent Smallville traffic. He debated whether or not to just pass by the Sullivan house or the Torch office to inform Chloe personally. He quickly vetoed the idea. Dominic may be a weasel, but too long confined in the trunk might hurt his feelings. The real reason though was that he had been staying away from her physically. The change in his feelings occurred when he saw her again after so many years. Maybe not seeing her will change it back to the way it had been before he arrived back in Smallville. He'll give it a few years. Maybe.
"Great. You pay several hundred dollars on a cellular phone and it's useless," he muttered, giving up on finding the charger. When he steered his way out of town, he found the charger plugged in. Lex quickly connected the phone.
~~
"Ooooh messages!" Chloe's mind ran with all the source information that was contained in that mini tape. It was a miracle of technology, this receiving messages while you're not home. She pressed the red button and leaned back, preparing her Pulitzer prize speech about the spontaneous combustion killing off the people in Smallville.
BEEP.
"Chloe, where are you? I was just going to tell you I have to go to Metropolis to deliver back my dad's trash. What scoop? How many times have I told you not to chase after every damne-"
BEEP.
"Your machine did not just cut me off. What the hell is wrong with it? I haven't even been on for a full minute! Chloe, if you are there and not just picking up-What am I talking about? You're probably really chasing down mutant freaks. Chloe, I'm telling you again that you're not suppose to- "
BEEP.
"Shit. I'm buying a new answering mach-"
TUT-TUT-TUT-TUUUUT.
She giggled madly. Of course she was pretty disappointed that there were no prize-winning information that would get her name on the front page of the Daily Planet. That was priceless though. It did not hurt that it was evidence that Lex cared enough to inform her of his plans.
Chloe decided to return the favor. She picked up the phone and dialed his mobile number from memory.
'Sorry. The phone you are trying to reach is out of network area.'
She turned off the phone and frowned in confusion. Sure, Smallville was no man's land. But Metropolis was not that far. She refused to believe that cellular companies believed that civilization was so distant from Smallville. She tried again.
'Sorry. The phone you are trying to reach is unattended.'
"All right, what was that?" she demanded of the air.
Chloe dialed again.
'The number you have dialed is either busy or unattended. If you wish to leave a message in the voicemail, press 8.' Chloe pressed 8.
"You leave me frantic messages and then you turn off your phone. How polite was that? Anyway, thanks for telling me. But why on earth didn't you get one of your lackeys to deliver for you if that's trash. I never figured you for a hands on type of guy, Lex. I'll be waiting for your call for a few minutes but I have to head out after that. Journalism is a demanding endeavor."
~~
Lex picked up his phone and looked at the battery icon. There was one full bar charged. He turned it on and checked his voice mail. It would just be his luck if Chloe picked that full twenty minutes that the phone was off to return his call.
BEEP
"You leave me frantic messages and then you turn off your phone. How polite was that? Anyway, thanks for telling me. But why on earth didn't you get one of your lackeys to deliver for you if that's trash. I never figured you for a hands on type of guy, Lex. I'll be waiting for your call for a few minutes but I have to head out after that. Journalism is a demanding endeavor."
BEEP
He pressed number 2 and the call button.
"I am a hands on type of guy."
There was a short stammer in the background, and Lex grinned. It was a power rush to know that he can affect Chloe so much.
"I know you're a hands on type of guy, Lex. You've impressed me with your work ethic since you arrived. I admit I never expected so much from you," came an older man's voice from the other end of the line. "What prompted this call? Is it that accountant Senatori?"
Shit had never been more conspicuous.
"Gabe," Lex replied calmly. "Yes. I was looking for some reassurance that you approved of the way I do the job. Thank you for that."
"Uhhmmhmm."
"Is Chloe there?"
"Well she was sitting right here beside the phone for a while but she headed out a while ago. She brought her mobile with her though. She said to tell anyone who calls for her that she's answering until she has to turn it off when it gets dangerous. You have any idea why my daughter is talking about being somewhere that can get dangerous?"
"No. Well I have to go. Goodbye, Gabe."
"Bye Lex."
Lex hurriedly dialed Chloe's mobile number. It would be even luckier for him if the time he spent talking to Gabe Sullivan was enough for Chloe to get into a situation when she would need to turn off her phone.
"Come on. Come on."
"Hello!" came the cheery answer.
"Turn the car around and drive home now."
"Oh hey Lex! Finally!"
"Chloe, whatever it is that you're planning to do, I don't need to know. I do know that it's going to be illogical and brash. So go home now."
"So are you having fun driving yet?"
"Chloe-"
"Relax, Lex. I'm with the ever heroic Clark Kent. He'll save me from spontaneously combusting."
"That's not funny."
"Oh relax. We're here in the morgue. He's at the other end snooping."
"Well, it's dark, cool, forbidding. What a romantic setting."
"Can I say eewww?"
"You already did. Are you enjoying your time with Clark?"
"You wouldn't believe how much," she said dryly.
"Well I'm going to meet Victoria for coffee," he told her, "just like we agreed."
"Couldn't you have picked anyone other than Victoria Hardwick? I mean, seriously, Lex, you're like looking for pain."
"She can't affect me anymore," he assured her. "How about you and Clark who I believe you said only has eyes for the illustrious Lana. You would have done better with Pete Ross."
"Yeah but Pete will kill you while Clark can kiss you back to life."
"For the last time, it was mouth to mouth resuscitation."
"Mouth to mouth, lips to lips, what's the diff?"
He growled. "Okay, I see Victoria coming towards me, wearing a slinky red shimmery top. I have to go."
"Sure," she replied brightly. "Have fun!"
"You too, Chloe."
Lex turned off the phone and continued driving. He still had about an hour before he arrived in Metropolis, enough time to think about what to tell his dad.
~~
Chloe was still grinning, blinking back the moisture that suddenly clouded her vision. Something did not sound right with that conversation but she was too upset to think about it.
"Hey Clark! Find anything?"
"Not yet, Chlo!"
"Oh okay." After a while, she asked, "You're having fun right?"
Clark looked up at her from under the gurney and frowned. "What, Chlo?"
She shook her head. "Never mind."
//Hello. I'm not home right now. Following a scoop because nothing scares me! If you have information pertinent to the weirdness that is Smallville, leave your message after the beep. If it's personal, don't clog my machine.//
BEEP.
"Chloe, where are you? I was just going to tell you I have to go to Metropolis to deliver back my dad's trash. What scoop? How many times have I told you not to chase after every damne-"
BEEP.
"Your machine did not just cut me off. What the hell is wrong with it? I haven't even been on for a full minute! Chloe, if you are there and not just picking up-What am I talking about? You're probably really chasing down mutant freaks. Chloe, I'm telling you again that you're not suppose to- "
BEEP.
"Shit. I'm buying a new answering mach-"
TUT-TUT-TUT-TUUUUT.
Lex looked at his mobile phone in disbelief. What the-The batteries had died down. "Piece of crap." He tossed the phone to the passenger seat and took the wheel in one hand. With his free one, he dove into the glove compartment for his charger. "Where is it?" he muttered.
He carefully maneuvered his way through the almost nonexistent Smallville traffic. He debated whether or not to just pass by the Sullivan house or the Torch office to inform Chloe personally. He quickly vetoed the idea. Dominic may be a weasel, but too long confined in the trunk might hurt his feelings. The real reason though was that he had been staying away from her physically. The change in his feelings occurred when he saw her again after so many years. Maybe not seeing her will change it back to the way it had been before he arrived back in Smallville. He'll give it a few years. Maybe.
"Great. You pay several hundred dollars on a cellular phone and it's useless," he muttered, giving up on finding the charger. When he steered his way out of town, he found the charger plugged in. Lex quickly connected the phone.
~~
"Ooooh messages!" Chloe's mind ran with all the source information that was contained in that mini tape. It was a miracle of technology, this receiving messages while you're not home. She pressed the red button and leaned back, preparing her Pulitzer prize speech about the spontaneous combustion killing off the people in Smallville.
BEEP.
"Chloe, where are you? I was just going to tell you I have to go to Metropolis to deliver back my dad's trash. What scoop? How many times have I told you not to chase after every damne-"
BEEP.
"Your machine did not just cut me off. What the hell is wrong with it? I haven't even been on for a full minute! Chloe, if you are there and not just picking up-What am I talking about? You're probably really chasing down mutant freaks. Chloe, I'm telling you again that you're not suppose to- "
BEEP.
"Shit. I'm buying a new answering mach-"
TUT-TUT-TUT-TUUUUT.
She giggled madly. Of course she was pretty disappointed that there were no prize-winning information that would get her name on the front page of the Daily Planet. That was priceless though. It did not hurt that it was evidence that Lex cared enough to inform her of his plans.
Chloe decided to return the favor. She picked up the phone and dialed his mobile number from memory.
'Sorry. The phone you are trying to reach is out of network area.'
She turned off the phone and frowned in confusion. Sure, Smallville was no man's land. But Metropolis was not that far. She refused to believe that cellular companies believed that civilization was so distant from Smallville. She tried again.
'Sorry. The phone you are trying to reach is unattended.'
"All right, what was that?" she demanded of the air.
Chloe dialed again.
'The number you have dialed is either busy or unattended. If you wish to leave a message in the voicemail, press 8.' Chloe pressed 8.
"You leave me frantic messages and then you turn off your phone. How polite was that? Anyway, thanks for telling me. But why on earth didn't you get one of your lackeys to deliver for you if that's trash. I never figured you for a hands on type of guy, Lex. I'll be waiting for your call for a few minutes but I have to head out after that. Journalism is a demanding endeavor."
~~
Lex picked up his phone and looked at the battery icon. There was one full bar charged. He turned it on and checked his voice mail. It would just be his luck if Chloe picked that full twenty minutes that the phone was off to return his call.
BEEP
"You leave me frantic messages and then you turn off your phone. How polite was that? Anyway, thanks for telling me. But why on earth didn't you get one of your lackeys to deliver for you if that's trash. I never figured you for a hands on type of guy, Lex. I'll be waiting for your call for a few minutes but I have to head out after that. Journalism is a demanding endeavor."
BEEP
He pressed number 2 and the call button.
"I am a hands on type of guy."
There was a short stammer in the background, and Lex grinned. It was a power rush to know that he can affect Chloe so much.
"I know you're a hands on type of guy, Lex. You've impressed me with your work ethic since you arrived. I admit I never expected so much from you," came an older man's voice from the other end of the line. "What prompted this call? Is it that accountant Senatori?"
Shit had never been more conspicuous.
"Gabe," Lex replied calmly. "Yes. I was looking for some reassurance that you approved of the way I do the job. Thank you for that."
"Uhhmmhmm."
"Is Chloe there?"
"Well she was sitting right here beside the phone for a while but she headed out a while ago. She brought her mobile with her though. She said to tell anyone who calls for her that she's answering until she has to turn it off when it gets dangerous. You have any idea why my daughter is talking about being somewhere that can get dangerous?"
"No. Well I have to go. Goodbye, Gabe."
"Bye Lex."
Lex hurriedly dialed Chloe's mobile number. It would be even luckier for him if the time he spent talking to Gabe Sullivan was enough for Chloe to get into a situation when she would need to turn off her phone.
"Come on. Come on."
"Hello!" came the cheery answer.
"Turn the car around and drive home now."
"Oh hey Lex! Finally!"
"Chloe, whatever it is that you're planning to do, I don't need to know. I do know that it's going to be illogical and brash. So go home now."
"So are you having fun driving yet?"
"Chloe-"
"Relax, Lex. I'm with the ever heroic Clark Kent. He'll save me from spontaneously combusting."
"That's not funny."
"Oh relax. We're here in the morgue. He's at the other end snooping."
"Well, it's dark, cool, forbidding. What a romantic setting."
"Can I say eewww?"
"You already did. Are you enjoying your time with Clark?"
"You wouldn't believe how much," she said dryly.
"Well I'm going to meet Victoria for coffee," he told her, "just like we agreed."
"Couldn't you have picked anyone other than Victoria Hardwick? I mean, seriously, Lex, you're like looking for pain."
"She can't affect me anymore," he assured her. "How about you and Clark who I believe you said only has eyes for the illustrious Lana. You would have done better with Pete Ross."
"Yeah but Pete will kill you while Clark can kiss you back to life."
"For the last time, it was mouth to mouth resuscitation."
"Mouth to mouth, lips to lips, what's the diff?"
He growled. "Okay, I see Victoria coming towards me, wearing a slinky red shimmery top. I have to go."
"Sure," she replied brightly. "Have fun!"
"You too, Chloe."
Lex turned off the phone and continued driving. He still had about an hour before he arrived in Metropolis, enough time to think about what to tell his dad.
~~
Chloe was still grinning, blinking back the moisture that suddenly clouded her vision. Something did not sound right with that conversation but she was too upset to think about it.
"Hey Clark! Find anything?"
"Not yet, Chlo!"
"Oh okay." After a while, she asked, "You're having fun right?"
Clark looked up at her from under the gurney and frowned. "What, Chlo?"
She shook her head. "Never mind."