Disclaimer: I don't own, nor do I want to own, Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling owns them. I've no intention of making any profit off of this, it's mere used to satisfy my desire to write and possibly to amuse you, the reader, though you can pay me if you want. Lyrics to Bleed America belong to Jimmy Eat World. They're only in this chapter because that's the song I'm listening to now.
Warning: This will be R and will contain *SLASH* You don't like it, don't read.
Summary: Harry returned to Hogwarts after six years of self-exile into the Muggle World and the defeat of Voldemort.
AN: Someone confronted me via review about my promise of having a chapter up by Monday. If I say that by Monday I meant next Monday you guys would all believe me, right? *Nods* I blame it all on tests, school, work and family. That and plain lack of inspiration. Thanks to all of the reviews, Rubberboots and Diagonalist, who inspire/force me to write more.
Me3gogi- Thanks for all the food. Yum!
Mars- Confrontation in this chapter, more coming later too.
Katrina- Death Eaters weren't mentioned. Yoda would have been a great name!
Amythest- Go doggy!
Draconical- Ducks are great, and I'm stealing your random duck thought.
Teigra- Friends aren't moving on. They're waiting.
Sorry if I forgot anyone. I love anyone who reviews.
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Chapter XI
Victims… I mean volunteersI'm not alone cause the TV's on yeah.
I'm not crazy cause I take the right pills everyday.
And rest, clean your conscious, clear your thoughts with speyside with your
grain.
Clean your conscious, clear your thoughts with speyside.
Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt.
Our hearts littering the topsoil.
Tune in and we can get the last call.
Our lives, our coal.
Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt.
Our hearts littering the topsoil.
Sign up it's the picket line or the parade.
Our lives.
I'm not alone cause the TV's on yeah.
I'm not crazy cause I take the right pills everyday.
And rest, clean your conscious, clear your thoughts with speyside with your
grain.
Clean your conscious, clear your thoughts with speyside.
Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt.
Our hearts littering the topsoil.
Tune in and we can get the last call.
Our lives, our coal.
Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt.
Our hearts littering the topsoil.
Sign up it's the picket line or the parade, our lives.
(I bled the) greed from my arm.
Won't they give it a rest now?
Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt.
Our hearts littering the topsoil.
Tune in and we can get the last call.
Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt, our hearts littering the topsoil.
Sign up it's the picket line or the parade.
_.~*~._.~*~._.~*~._.~*~._.~*~._.~*~._
I was sitting in front of
Severus, which really meant I could feel his gaze bearing down on the back of
my neck. It was rather uncomfortable, not unlike the feeling of walking
through the Forbidden Forest alone at night with some large creature lurking
behind you, watching your every movement, waiting for the perfect instant to
pounce!
Well,
maybe not that intense, but it was uncomfortable, and it made me want to squirm
in my seat, but I wouldn't give the older man the satisfaction of seeing me do
that. I was determined to sit still and listen to what Albus was
saying. I wasn't going to dwell on Severus' eyes trained on my body while
thinking of what else Severus could be doing to my…
I squashed that train of thought before
it even took off. Not something I needed to be thinking about right now…
not that that's what I was thinking of to begin with…
This
is where the intelligent part of me would be coughing politely in an effort to
change the topic of conversation.
I
dutifully turned my attention to the man with the long white beard standing in
front of us.
"As
I'm sure you're aware, there have been threats against Hogwarts from a certain
group of individuals who at the moment are unwilling to name themselves.
For this reason, and for the safety of the students, Minerva and I have decided
to implement chaperones for the students. Could we have any volunteers
for this job?"
There
was a twinkle in the Headmaster's eyes, as though there was some devious plot
he wanted to implement and this was a means to an end.
I
heard Ron mutter beside me to Hermionie. "Volunteers? Doesn't he
mean victims?"
A
soft "oof" came from Ron. Presumably, Hermione had skilfully and
discretely elbowed him in the ribs. "Ron!" she scolded in a harsh
whisper.
"What?"
he whispered back innocently. "Those students are hellions. I don't
see how Hooch could tolerate teaching them. D'you remember in first year
when Harry…"
"Ah!"
Albus interrupted brightly, looking direct at the Weasley couple. "Could
you speak up, I'm not sure I heard you right. Did you just say you two
would be our first victims? How nice of you two to volunteer."
I'm
not quite sure anyone else noticed the slip of victims in there, but it was
amusing.
Ron groaned inwardly again, half from
annoyance, and half because Hermionie had elbowed him again in annoyance.
"With
my bloody luck Snape's going to volunteer just so he can spite me. Make
my life living hell," Ron mused.
"Ron!"
Hermionie hissed again.
I
leaned over and whispered into his ear. "Snape that bad?"
"Worse."
"Maybe
I should volunteer, increase your chances of not getting stuck with him," I
offered helpfully, half for the reason I'd stated, half so that I could get
back into Snape's good graces. He'd been almost human just before the war
ended. I thought it would be nice to see that side of him again.
"What's
that, Ethan?" Dumbledore asked cheerfully. "You would like to volunteer
as well? Wonderful. That makes five."
I
briefly wondered who the other two were, but my attention was drawn towards the
Potions Master when he whispered to himself, "Just what I need, another Golden
Trio."
I
whispered just loud enough for Severus, and consequently, Ron and Hermionie,
who were sitting right beside me, to hear. "Talking to yourself is a sign
of mental instability, Severus."
Ron
snickered, Hermionie looked shocked, and from the silence behind me, I think
Severus was unsure which to be more offended over, that I had insulted him, or
that I had used his first name.
"Watch
it, brat," Severus muttered in response for, I presume, lack of anything else
to say.
"Oh,
Severus? You too? That's just wonderful, now we need two more."
The
Headmaster looked like a child in a Muggle candy store… or maybe a better
analogy is himself let loose in a Muggle candy store. Or maybe like it
was Christmas, Easter and Halloween all wrapped into one. He was tricking
people into this. To put it bluntly he was manipulating people.
He
was in his element.
It turned out the rest of the
Professors had learned their lesson through example, and they were all silent.
The last two people sucked into the job actually volunteered out of the
goodness of their hearts.
It
was McGonagall who announced the next order of business.
"There
have been requests that extra tutoring sessions be given to those students who
request it, so Albus and I have considered it, and we have decided that instead
of giving lessons that are recaps of what is taught in class, we thought it
would be better to give joint classes, such as Defence against the Dark Arts
joint with Potions, or some such example."
The
Transfiguration Professor continued in her brusque manner, while I heard
Severus groan at the implication. Almost as if he thought this was all
some horrible plot against him.
That's
right; Albus and I had spent the time during my disappearance locked away in
his office plotting ways to make Severus' life miserable.
I
laughed inwardly. As much as I thought that would be fun, I would much
rather have had the professor as a… friend than as the butt of my jokes and
malicious plotting.
I
once again turned my attention back to Minerva as she finished her proposal for
joint tutoring classes.
"All
in favour of this say 'Aye'"
There
was a course of 'Ayes,' followed shortly by one 'Nay' coming from
Severus. I briefly remembered a Muggle television show where, through out
the entire episode, there were consensuses taken in the same manner, and every
time there would be one high-pitched voice saying 'Nay.' I pictured
Severus with a high-pitched voice and it made me laugh inside.
"Finally,
as the last item to be discussed, Professor James has told several students he
was willing to aid in Duelling lessons. For safety reasons, he will be
required to have an assistant or co-instructor willing to supervise, preferably
one with duelling experience." McGonagall turned to Severus. "You've had
experience, so would you be willing?"
The
tall, black haired man groaned semi-audibly, before muttering something along
the lines of: "The whole faculty is conspiring against me," before agreeing,
very grudgingly.
The
staff meeting was about to come to an end when suddenly a fuzzy blur darted
into the room, around several sets of legs and then right onto my lap. It
was that Himalayan that I'd forgotten about.
Albus raised and eyebrow
questioningly. "I didn't know you owned a cat," he said cautiously.
I
understood the caution. In some cases, animals could be taken as
familiars, and when they were they could become very vicious.
"Neither
did I," I replied, easing his fears. "It showed up in my room when I got
here."
The
expression on his face was one of cool calculation, but I let my suspicions
slip when someone asked, "Does it have a name."
"I
don't know," I replied stupidly. "I've never thought about it. I
wasn't planning on keeping it."
"You
should name him," Charlie said cheerfully, "because I think it's adopted you."
I
shrugged. The naming thing wasn't really my thing. "Mittens…" I
said hesitantly.
"Awe,
don't do that!" Hermionie protested. "Name him Chee-ay."
"Why?"
"I
don't know. It seems to suit him."
I
figured that was as good a name as any, and since the cat didn't protest, Chie
he became.
I
left the staff meeting along with everyone else, much more slowly, however, due
to the crutches, with Chie following behind me. I'd briefly considered
asking Mme. Pomfrey to heal my broken calf, but it would have been suspicious
to my friends if I showed up miraculously healed.
"Oh
yes, that pesky break. I just had a mediwitch heal it. And by the
way, I'm a wizard who defeated the Dark Lord to save the Wizard and Muggle
world from certain darkness… And you were saying?"
I
could just imagine that going over well. That would probably land me in a
padded cell at the local mental institute…
I
immediately went back to my rooms, took a quick shower, careful not to get the
leg cast wet. Then I towelled myself dry, before slipping between the bed
sheets and falling asleep. I needed it too, I was going to be bombarded
with questions from both staff and students the next morning.
_.~*~._.~*~._.~*~._.~*~._.~*~._.~*~._
Breakfast
was eventful.
That
was an understatement.
My
re-arrival was interesting, to say the least. First, a buzz developed
among the students, a hushed whisper of speculation.
The
staff table wasn't much better, at least until someone finally asked me what
had happened.
"I
was checking on my apartment, and I got into a car accident."
Professor
Flitwick, the charms teacher, shook his head. "Hermionie over here has
been telling me a lot about the Muggle world. I've heard about
cars. Dangerous things if you ask me."
I
laughed a little and shook my head. "It was more my fault than anything
else. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
Flitwick
shook his head; firm in his belief that cars were an evil Muggles should do
without. In a way I agreed with him. They caused so may problems,
but unfortunately, Muggles didn't have the ability to apperate or use Port
Keys, so they had to get around however they could.
Hermionie,
upon hearing her name mentioned, drew herself away from her husband and asked,
"You lived in the Muggle world?"
"Yes," I replied hesitantly. "I
needed a break from magic."
"Really…
What did you do there?"
I wasn't sure what to say. It
felt odd being interrogated by someone I'd considered a sister at one
point. Finally I managed to answer, "I worked at a restaurant as a cook
and played in a band."
Hermionie's
eyes lit up. "Really? What type of music do you play?"
I
found it suddenly easier to talk to her, now that we'd found a common
topic. Flitwick, who had been sitting beside her, got up and moved so
that I wouldn't be talking over his head.
"We
mostly do covers, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Oasis, Pearl Jam… Tom Petty is a
personal favourite."
"Really?
I've never listened to Pearl Jam, but when I was a kid my parents had all of
Tom Petty's albums. What about Led Zeppelin? Or Pink Floyd."
I
laughed at that. I could just hear Kestor's reaction to even the smallest
suggestion that we play Pink Floyd or Led Zeppelin. "My band would have
an aneurysm if they even heard you suggest that. It would be sacrilege,
or blasphemy, or something!"
I
burst into insane laughter, earning me a wide variety of looks from my peers
and students.
Hermionie
just smiled. "I guess I could see that. They were both amazing
groups… What instrument do you play?"
"Drums,
mostly, but I'm learning the guitar."
I
noticed absently somewhere during this conversation that Ron had started
listening, but as I said, it was absent.
"I
always wished I knew how to play the guitar…" she said wistfully.
"I
don't really know how to, but I could teach you what I know… chords and stuff."
I
noticed Ron was going to blow something if I didn't back away from his
wife. I should have paid more attention. He was always the
jealous type, even though there was nothing to be jealous about. I was in
no way interested in his wife.
The
red head seemed to ease off though once I moved away.
"That'd
be great, but with all of the stuff we're doing I don't know how we could find
time. Especially you. You've got that Duelling Club."
"Oh
yeah… well…" I trailed off.
"Maybe
though. It's nice to have an option," she said with a smile. Then
she stood up. "I should probably get ready for class."
"Probably."
I
watched as the two people I'd considered best friends during my youth walk
away, and I smiled. It was nice to know that some things didn't change
too much.
I
got up myself to walk to my class, feeling full, even though I hadn't eaten
anything. I guess hospital food does that to people.
Walking past Severus, he said the
oddest thing to me.
"I'd
watch out, if I were you. Be careful where you go and such. We
wouldn't want you to get into any more accidents, now would we?"
I
ignored him and continued walking. I wasn't sure if what he was a warning
or a threat, but I knew immediately he wasn't talking about cars.
That
left me feeling a little odd for the rest of the morning.
_.~*~._.~*~._.~*~._.~*~._.~*~._.~*~._
AN: I've been told this chapter was funny. Tell me what you think. I had a lot of fun with it. Review! You know you want to. It would make me feel better, and it would make you feel better. Who knows, maybe it would solve all of the world's problems.
You're probably shaking your head right now, saying I'm crazy, but, who knows? I mean honestly. Won't you be wondering later as to whether or not you could have saved the world by reviewing? I bet you'd be really mad at yourself when you realized you hadn't saved the world.
So go ahead, hit that nice go button in the bottom left corner and feed the author. You know you want to find out if it would save the world's problems.
Would you have more incentive if I told you I might put Remus and Sirius in the next chapter, and that I'll have it up by next Sunday if you reviewed this chapter?