AN: And this would be the wonderful beta-ed version.
Every Christmas, a certain number of professors must remain at Hogwarts to watch over the students who elect to remain during the holidays. The number of professors remaining, of course, is directly proportional to the number of students.
That Hagrid, McGonagall, and Albus would stay was granted, as was Severus' presence, because I cannot remember a year where he didn't. In addition, however horrible this might sound, it seemed very impossible for Snape to have anyone to go to. He had no living family, and it didn't seem he had very many, if any, close friends.
I thought it was given that three Weasleys would return to their family. Their large Christmas gatherings were something of a Legend.
The remainder of the professors, excluding perhaps Sybil, would go to relatives and friends as well.
And what were my plans for the Christmas holidays?
I left for my chambers after an extremely brief meeting with Albus. I had told him that I planned to spend most of my holidays at Hogwarts, except for Christmas Eve, the weekends and New Year's, though I wasn't entirely certain.
It was nice to know I was needed at Hogwarts over the vacation, but that brief chat with Albus only served to remind me of what I was planning to do on New Years Eve.
There would be a band contest, which I'd offhandedly mentioned before. It's the crowd at the bar each night over the course of the year that decides the three bands that will play, so the more gigs you do there, the better your chances of getting picked. Fortunately, our band had won unanimously last year, so we were guaranteed a place, though it didn't stop us from playing there.
Each band would play one cover song from each of the six categories; classic rock, alternative, punk/ska, Metal, something uncharted, and the bands choice. In addition to that, they could choose another three songs from any genre, and the audience would choose which song they would play.
At the end of the night, the crowd voted on there favourite song from each category. The bands with the most votes in a category got a point, and the group with the most points won.
Last year we'd won with Aerosmith, Sevendust, the Black Rebel Motorcycle club and Bush.
This year there were supposed to be scouts from small record labels. Not anything big, but enough to get noticed and maybe signed.
I didn't really want this as much as the others, having taken a small aversion to fame, but I'd do it for them. Unfortunately, their desire led to several problems.
Playing in the contest meant knowing the music we would be playing, and also practicing it. Practicing it meant having a copy of it, as well as a way to play it. Playing meant having spare time. While I had a rough idea for each on of these problems, I didn't have any definite solutions.
What I did have was a month to solve them (though I didn't really want to take that long) and then another month to put the solutions to work.
Of course, getting the music would be easy; I just needed time to do it.
Basically, the biggest problem for the moment was finding time to do everything I needed to.
This, fortunately, was also the easiest problem to deal with. My distinct lack of time was due to those pesky defence classes I was stuck with teaching, the promised Duelling Club and the final Hogsmeade right before the holidays that allowed students to buy their family's Christmas gifts.
I could easily beg off the Hogsmeade trip, seeing as how I was staying to supervise over the holidays, and there were other teachers who could take my place. I needed that weekend to practice with my band because it was getting close to the concert date.
The Duelling Club, which was currently on Friday nights, could easily be moved to Thursday nights, giving me the full weekend to do what I wanted. In addition to the extra time for myself, I was giving Severus his weekends back, worming myself into his good graces. Why exactly this was so important, I wasn't sure, but it certainly was an added bonus.
Finally, I did have four bright students willing to help me grade papers and do class prep. If I did the older grades during the week, and gave the younger grades to my victi… volunteers, that was more weekend time.
With all the extra time during the weekend I could practice with my band, as well as learn the music we would be playing.
There. I little brain storming and all of my problems were solved but one. Once I had the music we would be playing, I still had no way of getting an electronic CD player to work within Hogwarts walls.
Sure, I could have gone to Hermione to work the problem out, but it offered no guarantees. What it did offer was the promise of many sleepless nights, a lot of frustration from one failed attempt after another and the wrath of an extremely jealous Ron, despite his knowing that I didn't swing that way.
The only solution to this final dilemma that made any sense at all was the only one I really didn't want to think about at the moment, but no my conversation with Remus was at the forefront of my mind, and his parting words were starting to nag me.
"Tell Sirius before anyone else knows. How do you think he'd feel if he found out after everyone else?"
Those words held more than a grain of truth to them, and as much as I despised the idea of a confrontation with my Godfather, Remus did make a valid point. He needed to know, and no one could tell him for me.
I will be the first to admit my reasoning for finally going to Sirius wasn't entirely unselfish. In addition to saving myself trouble down the road, and a worse confrontation, once he forgave me, Sirius could help me with my CD player. He had experience with Muggle technology. He was the man with the Flying Motorbike, for Merlin's sake!
But neither were my reasons wholly selfish. Sirius was my Godfather, and the closest thing I had to family. It's one thing to cut ties with friends, but it's quite another to try and do so with family. You can't choose them, and no matter what, you're stuck with them.
I decided, with that wonderful burst of logic that I could go to the Black Estate that weekend, and I was actually looking forward to seeing family again… but first I had to survive tomorrow's classes, and the next day's and the day's after that…
As well as a conversation with Severus.
~*~*~*~
I decided to forgo breakfast in the Great Hall and cook for myself the next morning. I was a little sceptical, because I didn't have a lot to go with, and hadn't cooked anything since the summer, but my misgivings at my culinary abilities were outweighed by my misgivings of going to face the student population after last nights little confession.
After a barely passable breakfast, mostly due to the lack of ingredients, that almost made me regret not dining with the faculty, and a quick shower, I changed into clean robes and made my way to my classroom, nearly tripping over Chie on the way as I navigated through the throng of students.
My first class after my outing à la Ron was a group of sixth year Hufflepuffs. I had a lesson planned for them, on the subject of Harpies, but part of the way through I was somewhat interrupted by one of the students. He wasn't truly causing any problems, but I could see he desperately wanted to ask me a question.
"Yes Mr. Jamis?" I asked, pinching the bridge of my nose and turning away from the class. I was starting to get a headache and I had a feeling I knew where this was going. "Would you like to say anything?"
"Are you really… um… an… a… h-h-homo…"
Several students snickered at his stuttering, while the rest were holding they collective breaths, waiting for my reaction?
"Am I gay?" I finished for him, turning back around to fix my narrowing gaze on the room. I was trying to discourage this topic. "Yes, I am."
Most of the class gasped in unison at my bluntness.
"So you're saying you enjoy sleeping with other men?" a muggleborn girl asked shrewdly. She surprised me by being even more direct then I was. She wasn't very adept at hiding the disgust in her voice, however.
"I don't believe this has anything to do with who I sleep with," I replied quietly, barely able to contain the anger. I fixed her with an icy-glare that rivalled one of Snape's. When I got over the shock, I added, "Nor is my personal life any of your concern."
I moved to continue my lesson, but she wouldn't drop it. "But my parents told me that being gay wasn't normal. That it was wrong."
I sighed at this. There went my carefully planned lesson, washed away under the tide of misunderstanding. In the back of the room I heard on girl whisper to another, "I think it's kinda hot."
"It may not be normal," I said clearly, "and it may not be particularly desirable for the survival of a race, but it certainly isn't wrong… Now turn to page 168 of your text. Read the section on Harpies and write a summary for next class. And no more talking."
I realized this was going to be a very long week.
~*~*~*~
I gained a lot of respect for my former professors that day. It even made me re-think my current opinion of Severus… Well, no so much re-think, but come to understand certain aspects of his personality.
I'd have to say the irrational paranoia would have come from his work as a spy, and his snarkiness from having to deal with brats like that all day, every day for only Merlin knows how many years. I was beginning to comprehend the perverse enjoyment he got from taking away House points.
When I studied with him before the end of the war I'd come to accept his quirky personality. I even accepted some of the blame for making his life miserable. Now I think I actually and truly understood it, and I empathized!
God damn it! I hope I was never like that, or if I ever had children, that they'd never be like that.
I pitied Severus, because he'd probably still be teaching when the next batch of Weasleys came around. Fred and George were great fun, but only if you were on their side.
I was muttering about the horror of children silently to myself as I walked towards Severus' chambers. I was going to cancel the Duelling Club that Friday and move them to Thursdays starting the next week, and I figured telling Severus might be a good idea.
My muttering turned into full out profane exclamations when one of the brats all but ran into me while being chased by fellow Housemates. I was lucky I hadn't dropped anything. "Great Merlin! I hate them all with a fiery passion!"
"One to rival the pits of Hell, I'm sure," came the unforgettable wry, bland voice.
I turned to face Severus with a small, involuntary smile. "Oh, this far surpasses anything Hell could produce."
"I'm sure," he replied before brushing past me.
I couldn't help myself when I blurted, "I'm incredibly sorry if I ever acted this way around my Professors."
"I'm certain they've already forgotten you," he replied, though no maliciously. "All children are brats… though some never grow out of it."
I have no idea who he was referring to with that final comment, though the name Sirius Black filled my mind. As for his first statement, I wasn't sure if I should be upset or content. Had Severus forgotten what a brat I was when I was younger, or had he forgotten what we'd had to go through during the war.
I forced myself to believe that what the older man had, or hadn't forgotten wasn't important to me and called down the hall after him. "Snape, wait! I have something to discuss with you."
The potions professor stopped, but fully expected me to walk over to him, which I did. "And what would you like to discuss, Mr. James?"
Something in his tone made me feel like a misbehaved student, but I managed to ignore the feeling. "I'm cancelling the Duelling club tomorrow, unless, of course, you'd like to go it alone."
I received a derisive snort, followed by a "Hardly."
"Also, with you approval, I was thinking of moving it to a Thursday night. This way you'd have the weekend to yourself."
"And I'm certain your reasons are entirely selfless."
"Of course not," I replied happily, "but you consent?"
Severus didn't reply, he just turned and walked away, his robes billowing behind him.
Wonderful. Now all I had to do was survive tomorrow, survive a confrontation with my Godfather, and get to my friends. Then everything would be super.