AN: Nicely reposted. Big thanks to Jade R for beta-ing this. Give me a couple of days to a week and I might have the next chapter up. Depends on homework, how busy I am, and what I end up doing on the weekend. (Last weekend was spent in Toronto, so I wasn't around at all to type more.)
CHAPTER XV
By Friday I had decided that not matter what Albus did, I would not return to teach at Hogwarts, or at any other school for that matter. I would go so far as to say children were completely out of the question. The last three days had served to show me the truth about children as well as keep Argus occupied with late night detentions. I swore that if I ever heard another question about my sexuality, someone would find themselves hexed six ways from Sunday.
There were a few high points, however. Many of my fellow professors were beginning to trust me again, somewhat. My guess is that Hermione's acceptance, and Albus' insistence went a long way in helping my case. I was talking about plants again with Sprout, and even Severus had become a little more civil, though I believe that was because I'd freed up his weekend.
So, when Friday finally came I was moving own the hallway after my last class as fast my crutches could carry me to my chambers, desperate to escape children and enjoy myself. I changed out of my school robes and into something more comfortable and more…..muggle-ish. Then I packed a light bag with whatever I would need for a weekend at my apartment. Chie sat on the back of the sofa, watching me as I did this and looking at me expectantly as though saying, "You're abandoning me here?"
I finished packing and ushered the cat out of my rooms, rubbing his head gently before locking the door. I was in no way under the impression that the cat belonged to me, and therefore I was not going to lock him in my rooms, though I was fairly certain he could come and go as he pleased.
My first stop was Dumbledore's office. I was going to follow his advice and tell him I was heading out before hand. I didn't tell him where I was going, only that I would be visiting a few people. He gave me a knowing smile, which I didn't understand at the time, but learned later was because both Remus and Sirius had been at Hogwarts when Remus had spoken to me. Albus, along with the smile, gave me permission to leave. "But I fully expect you to be back in time to teach on Monday."
I made my way out of Hogwarts and past the anti-apparation wards before apparating to my small apartment outside Hogsmead to drop off my belongings. It took me a while to steel myself for a visit with Sirius. I was going to reintroduce myself to my godfather, but first I was going to pray very, very hard to all existent and non-existent gods that he would forgive me. After the prayer I apparated a second time to a place I'd only been to once before in my life, but after Sirius had been cleared of all charges, and just before the final battle.
A house elf named Libei let me in, but it seemed like I hadn't come at a very good time, because Sirius and Remus were involved in a full-blown argument. I absentmindedly stopped Libei from banging her head on the wall as I watched the animagus and werewolf argue. I currently had more important things to think about than whether or not a house elf was going to knock itself unconscious. It turned out that in escaping my students I had jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire.
Briefly, I considered leaving them to their argument, but I couldn't bring myself to move. I stood, transfixed, as I watched them yell at each other. In retrospect, this was a good thing, because if I had left, I would never have gathered the courage to return.
"What possible right do you have to tell me not to look for my Godson?" Sirius snarled.
"Calm down! Harry is as much my Godson as your own, but you're being ridiculous."
"Ridiculous, am I now? If you weren't a cripple I'd…"
I winced when I heard that, and so did Lupin, visibly. Those words obviously struck a chord with the werewolf, and if he had been able to stand, I would have been terrified. Even sitting, he looked formidable at that moment.
"Sirius, stop this," he said bluntly, though the anger, frustration, bitterness and pain in his voice were mixed into a mealy of emotion. "Arguing about this and getting worked up about it won't help you find Harry like you want to…"
"How can you say that so calmly!" the animagus exclaimed, his voice quivering with rage. "He could be anywhere! He could have amnesia! He could be buried six feet underground for all we know!"
Remus was shaking as well, unable to control his own anger anymore. He tried to compose himself, aware that he would get nowhere if he started to act like a child as well. "Harry's fine. I'm certain of it. I'm also certain that he will come back to us when he's ready."
"How can you be so certain? How can you know that he's alright and doesn't need out help…?" My Godfather trailed off and I had a sinking suspicion that he had caught on to the fact that his companions knew something about this. It didn't help when I saw Sirius' expression change from anger, to understanding, before melding into a mask of contemptuous rage.
He laughed, and it was one of the ugliest things I'd ever hear. "Great Merlin! You know where he is. You know where he is and you never told me."
I saw Remus' jaw work in an effort to speak, but no sound came forth. Any capability I had of motion, either to step forward and stop this or to flee, was taken away from me. I was helpless to easy my own discomfort or those of my Godfather and his friend. Sirius took a menacing step forward. "How long have you known about this Moony?" His voice dripped with venom as he spoke. "How long have you and Albus been keeping this a secret from me? Why didn't you tell me!"
Remus shook his head and stuttered. "I wanted to. I truly did, but I couldn't. I made a promise."
"Well, I can tell you know that if you don't tell me where he is I'll have you would of here so fast you'll…"
I was so shocked by this statement that I dropped one of my crutches. No way was Remus going to be kicked out of his home because of me. I simply wouldn't let it happen. The only problem was that I needed my crutch to move, and by the time I'd bent down to pick it up, the argument had resumed.
"Sirius," his friend pleaded. "I can't tell you where he is."
"Why not?" the other growled.
I finally found my voice, my mobility, and my crutch, and I moved forward into the room. "Because I made him promise not to."
The scene might have been comic, save for the fact that I was part of it. Sirius' head snapped around and he looked towards me. I found myself under Remus' gaze as well, and the look of worry and pride on his face clearly said, "I'm glad you came, but you couldn't have come at a worse time."
Sirius looked at me wondering who the hell I was, and how I'd managed to get into his home. In all fairness, I probably had the appearance of a criminal. He was about ready to tell me to leave when suddenly it dawned on him. I wasn't distinctly recognizable as Harry Potter, but when one know what one was looking for hints of my old life could still be seen.
"Harry?" he asked, startled. He looked at me, eyes sparkling as though he'd one the lottery, or like a dog who'd just been given a bone. He moved towards me with open arms, and I was prepared to be enveloped in a giant bear hug, but he stopped suddenly in mid stride. "What do you mean, you made him promise not to?"
I tried to smiles at him, but my weak grin only betrayed my unease. My Godfather could overreact on small things, and an unexplained six-year absence certainly wasn't small. "I'm sorry, Sirius," I tried to explain. "I haven't been back in the Wizarding World for a very long time and I wasn't ready to deal with everyone. Albus only knows because he conned me into coming back, and Remus has only known since Wednesday when he accosted me at Hogwarts." I smiled at him a little more strongly this time. "I came to tell you today, but things didn't really turn out the way I'd planned."
My godfather didn't smile back, instead staring at me and sternly saying, "You could have told me earlier, before you disappeared." He paused for a moment, controlling his temper. "And what do you mean, 'At Hogwarts?'"
I felt my heart sink again. "I'm a teacher there…" I struggled for the right words. "I didn't tell you because you wouldn't understand, and I knew you would act like…" I trailed off, knowing I'd said the wrong thing.
"Act like what?" he demanded angrily and accusingly.
Remus stepped in to rescue me with, "Because you would have acted like this," but it didn't do much to truly help my cause.
"What do you mean 'act like this?'" he spat. "You mean angry because my Godson and my best friend, my family, betrayed me, letting everyone know where he was but me."
"Sirius, it wasn't like that!" I cried, completely unlike my self. "No one else knows." I was pleading.
Remus chimed in. "Just calm down, get some air, and then we can all sit down like adults and Harry can explain to you what's happened and where he's been."
"I don't think that's a very good idea, Remus," Sirius replied so deadly calm that I was frightened. Remus gave him a questioning look. "Harry said I wouldn't understand, so I don't want to waste his time. I'm going to go get changed, and when I come back, I expect him gone. Harry Potter is dead to me, and I don't particularly like ghosts haunting my home."
He left, and I blinked stupidly at his retreating form, my jaw hanging. I had expected a lot of things to go wrong with this encounter, but I'd never expected anything like this to happen. I'd been disowned. When I finally regained myself, I half ran, half stumbled, with my crutches, after my Godfather. Remus stopped me by physically blocking my path. He shook his head softly and looked at me with sad eyes. He even apologized to me for something he hadn't even done! "I'm sorry Harry, but I never thought he would react like that. I thought there would be a lot of explaining to do, but never anything like this."
"Well then let me go explain things to him!"
Remus shook his head and spoke, his words mirroring Sirius' earlier ones. "I don't think that's a good idea. He wants you gone. I'll go talk to him, make him see reason. You should just go home and do something a little less futile."
I thought that over and decided it probably was the best solution, at least better than me pleading and embarrassing myself. Sirius was a lot more stubborn that I was, and he wasn't going to change his opinion any tome soon on my account. My best chance was to have someone else reason with him on my behalf.
I nodded to Remus. "Yes, that's probably the best idea."
Remus smiled sadly and watched me leave. I apparated back to my apartment and called Kestor. To my disappointment, he wasn't home. After checking my voice mail I found several messages from him, the last telling me they'd gone off for the weekend to play at a few clubs and to try to get a hold of him during the week.
I had a miserable weekend, spent moping about, wondering what I would do if Sirius didn't forgive me, and less frequently, what I was going to do about the concert. The only high point is that I learned I could pick up my drums from the music shop, so I was able to amuse myself on them a little.
I received my first pleasant surprise in a while when I returned to my rooms at Hogwarts, for I found Chie sitting on the lap of none other than Sirius, with Remus sitting across from him. They had been waiting for me all day. "I'm sorry Harry. Please tell me everything."
I was unexpectedly enveloped in that big bear hug I had expected before, and for the moment, I was content.
AN: Hey, sorry for the long delay (even though I said I had the chapter ready to be put up). I don't really have any excuses, but I assure you I haven't given up on this story. I have another chapter I need to get typed up, and I'm already working on 17th (Which happens to be the one from Snape's point of view filled with plenty of wonderful Snape action).
I also need to know if anyone is interested in a lemon in this? I've never written one, though I'm sure I could get help if I actually tried. I'm just trying to figure out what people want. Yes? No? Shut up and get on with the next chapter?
Either way, I need a response, so please hit the Go button and review.