orokid/disclaimer: Okay! Yes, I don't own this either, and you have no idea how much I wish I owned all the things I love but don't have my name to. Once again, me own nothing- and that includes both this song and the thought, the idea, the comic, the movie, etc of Spider-Man.
PS- Please enjoy
Broken
Peter Parker gazed longingly at the nineteen year-old struggling actress, not minding that it was through the eyes of New York's famous, or infamous (depending on who you are), Spider-Man. For one long year, he had done this, watching her from afar, hoping for the courage to form inside his super-hero body. It was one long year of never asking her for her love back.
She started laughing at a joke one of her friends said. God, he loved her laugh! It was like hearing heaven for the first time over and over again. If only he could make her laugh like that instead of hiding in the shadows, outside her bedroom window. Maybe it'd stop the pain he knew she felt every time they saw one another- Peter and MJ.
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I
wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
He dug into his school bag that had been slung onto his back, bringing out into the moonlight the picture he had supposedly taken for the school newspaper. In truth, he had taken it for personal wishes. Nobody knew that she hadn't appeared in the paper, nor did they really care probably.
He placed the photo carefully back into his bag. Aunt May was going to call home soon with all the gossip from back home in Queens. He just needed to get back to his dinky little apartment.
His eyes looked back at her residence, and he only let out a sigh. If only this were his home.
The moment their eyes met, Spider-Man had released a web-line and was gone.
I
keep your photograph and I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you
high and steal your pain
Mary-Jane Watson was surprised to see the red-and-blue clad figure standing outside her window, gazing at her with the most solemn look. It was like he was a love-torn fool, and it made her heart ache just to look at the sad man. Her heart belonged to another- the poor photographer with the name of Peter Parker.
But it always felt colder when she saw Spider-Man leave. Maybe she had a crush on his once again, but she highly doubted it. Her love for Peter had been strong. That would only make her wonder about the man behind the mask.
'Cause I'm broken when
I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
Mary Jane remembered how it felt to be in his arms, to fit so well with his body. She knew that he was still hurting from his dear uncle's death, not to mention Norman Osborn's as well. All Mister Osborn's death did was remind him of his loss. She could only assume that he was scared to loose someone, anyone, who was close to him. Ben Parker's death made him fearful for that. All she wanted to do was hold him, to take all his fears away, for him to fill the hole unseen within her heart. She wanted him to be good ol' Pete again, and not the sulking or tired one she knew all too well now.
The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I
wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
She wished that he could learn how to trust again. The science scholar, the brave man she began to admire back in high school… She wished for him to come back.
Mary Jane wouldn't admit that she had seen new scars on him every time she laid her eyes on him. Sometimes, she'd see him limp away after their meetings. He was obviously getting into fights wherever he lived now. Harry kept saying that he'd tell her where, but then he'd get sidetracked and forget. If only she could save him from the pain that he tried to hide, whatever the reason.
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to
fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
Spider-Man launched himself towards his apartment, jumping inside the open window. He couldn't even bring up the courage to tell her that he was there. Why couldn't he just admit that he was Spider-Man? Why couldn't he just say that he loved her more than life itself? Why wasn't he strong enough to open up to the ones he loved the most/
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't
feel like I am strong enough
Peter looked at the wall. Eight PM. May was right on time with her daily phone call, but it was still a little early for her.
"Hi, Aunt May," he said, pulling up his mask. "Didn't really expect your call so soon. I was hoping that I could change after… uh… work."
"Well, Tiger, I didn't know your aunt calls around now." Her voice made him freeze. How had she gotten this number? Did she actually go through the fifty thousand Peter Parkers in the phone book before hitting this number? "Do you think she'd mind if I borrowed you for a little bit?" MJ questioned softly.
"N-No!" he said, trying hard not to sound excited or surprised. "I mean, I don't think she'd mind it. After she was in the hospital last year, she hasn't really minded if I skip or forget or am late to things I have with her if it's with you." Doh! "I mean-"
"It's alright, Pete," she said, slightly laughing. There was a silence after a while, unnerving the man in the Spider-Man costume. "It's been a while, huh, Pete?"
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't
feel right when you're gone away
"Yeah. A while." Peter grinned softly. It had been such a long time since he had heard her say his name, since that day in the graveyard. "How are you? Busy? Acting?"
"Acting small parts. None that really matter." Her voice lowered. "Do you… Do you want a free ticket to… to the next one I'm performing at?"
Peter found himself close to jumping for joy as of right then. She was inviting him out for a play- one that she was acting in, or course, but it was still a play. Maybe… Maybe this would count as a… a date or something? But then his mind did a 360 degree turn, and he noly hated when the logical part of his brain kicked in. He couldn't do it.
He had to be Spider-Man, which meant that he didn't have time for a social life.
'Cause
I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
"Look, I… I can't…" He sighed, pulling off his mask almost completely now, holding onto the rim as he ran a gloved hand through his hair. He didn't like his job when times had done this to him, although he should've figured that the man who became the spider wouldn't ever have a chance for true happiness. "Uh… Um… JJ will probably have me out of a photo shoot or something when he learns that I have actual plans. That always happens to me." He gave a small chuckle, wishing that the words would just spill from his lips, saving him the trouble of actually being the one to do the work.
"Oh. A-Alright, I guess…" She sounded as if he had just dangled her favorite thing in front of her, only to snatch it away from her grasp. He was a jerk, and he knew it. But it was only natural that he wouldn't ever get the chance to truly smile for once.
He opened his mouth, ready to give her an empty promise that he just knew he wouldn't be able to keep, but he still felt as though it were needed, but a siren went off in the city. Peter had to go, to don the mask of the web slinger and save the innocents. "I'm sorry but… I just remembered that I had a photo of Spider-Man that I had to develop. I promise that we'll talk later. Bye!"
He didn't even give her enough time to answer him when he had hung up the phone, and his heart once again felt empty.
Life just wasn't fair.
'Cause
I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're
gone away
Mary Jane stared at the phone, lying in her bed as she looked up to the ceiling. Somewhere, although she didn't know where, a siren had gone off, and she had found it somewhat interesting that he had so suddenly remembered a photo he needed developed right then and there. She knew that her mind was just playing tricks on her, and that it wasn't true, no matter what, but…
Still, there was a piece of her that wanted to believe that Peter and Spider-Man were one in the same. And it was the piece that had a large torn hole in her heart that made that wish.
She wanted him there with her, smiling, telling her of the feelings she knew that he hid within himself, but she knew that that would be impossible. He was stubborn as much as he was smart, and things would stay that way until secrets would slip off the tongue and he'd be caught in a corner.
Secretly, she couldn't wait until then.
'Cause
I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're
gone away
Peter once more found himself at her window, watching her, wishing that he had the strength to tell her what was in his heart…
You've
gone away
You don't feel me here anymore