YOUR VISAGE IS ETCHED IN MY MEMORY
He should be guilty. For the last few days, he had been giving a huge bulk of the responsibility for LexCorp to Gabe Sullivan. Nobody doubted his decision. At the factory, all the employees believed that Lex had been entrusting the work to Gabe because he was a senior employee and because he was a damn good manager. But Lex knew the real reason why he had been making Gabe unavailable. Gabe had been sleeping in the office for several days. Just yesterday afternoon, the man had been sent to Metropolis on an urgent check up with one of their suppliers. Admittedly, these were concerns that could have waited until Lex could attend to them himself. In fact, he had been attending to these even when he was still in LuthorCorp.
But the cause of Gabe Sullivan's overtime hours this week was lying on his bed right now, silk sheets covering her from the small of her back down to her toes. Lex appreciated the wonderful glow of morning sunlight on the bare skin of her back. He touched her shoulder gently and brushed a kiss on her nape.
Lex hated waking her up. He always feels something beautiful whenever he looks at her sleep. It was almost as if for that long moment he was as clean as she always seemed to be. But he had to wake her now. Morning had broken with a burst of sun that confirmed that their private time had ended. It was no longer night, when they could hold each other in the dark, and drown in each other's scent and sound.
The rings under her eyes told him that he should give her an hour more, perhaps two. They had stayed up late last night when Chloe had a heavy heart. He found out that Helen, whom Chloe had grown so close to since their first meeting, was not who she pretended to be. Looking at the pictures that now sat on the nightstand, Lex felt anger. Chloe, on the other hand, felt betrayal. He could understand what she felt. At five, her mother left her. The past weeks bonded Chloe to Helen, who at twenty-six, may have been the only woman other than Martha Kent that Chloe saw a mother, or at least an older sister, in. Helen would probably be pissed if she knew the reference but after what he found out, he really did not care what Dr. Bryce thought.
He spent the night subtly comforting Chloe, who never admitted that she was deeply hurt by Helen's duplicity. But that was Chloe. She would tell you that she had not been affected but her eyes would scream otherwise.
He watched as her eyelashes began to flutter. Lex met the reluctantly opening eyes with a soft smile. "Feeling better?"
She groaned, but still reached up to pull him down for a kiss. "Not really. But I have to get up anyway right?"
"You have Hero-Defrocking 101 with Ms. Bisery. You know how much you adore that subject?"
"I do not," she answered, chuckling. Chloe appreciated how he made an effort to make her laugh. "It's an insult to what I've previously been taught."
"Not everyone is the way you believe him to be, Chloe. When you learn to accept that, you won't set yourself up for too harsh a disappointment."
She shook her head, her eyes clouding. "I refuse to live my life distrusting every person that I meet."
"Yet you're surrounded with evidence to the contrary. You and I both know that Clark has a secret that he won't share. Underneath the veneer of jollity that is Pete Ross is a boy with a considerable loathing for all things Luthor. When the entire school pretty much believed Whitney Fordman was nothing but a heartthrob athlete, he proved you wrong by actually having the guts to enlist," Lex enumerated. "And now Helen."
"They can have a thousand secrets for all I care," Chloe answered. "I know someone who will never hide anything from me. That's why I know I can put my faith on one person."
"Your dad," Lex stated.
"Even parents are allowed to hide things. I meant you, Lex."
Lex's eyebrows furrowed, and he looked as if he were reading her. Slowly, he nodded. "That's right."
"Can I hold on to that?"
He closed his hand around hers on top of the blanket. "You know you can." Lex pulled at the hand in his. "Now come on. We have to haul you to the shower fast. You don't want to be late."
She shot up from the bed. "It's a thirty minute walk from here!"
"Relax. I'll drive you."
"You're dropping me off at a time when students are actually arriving, and we'd be in full sight. You're a regular daredevil, aren't you?" His eyes gleaned, and she remembered that the decision not to be open about the relationship was now only hers. "Well, I'm not." At his crestfallen look, she gave him an adorable smile. "You have something to take care of for us. I'd rather you get it over with as soon as possible. All right?"
~~
Lex sat in his study, his thoughts far away, filled with thoughts of his father, of Chloe, of the mess that he and Chloe entered when they involved themselves with Helen Bryce. He did not know how to approach the matter at hand. But he promised Chloe he would, and he will. He was used to people and their acts. Maybe he allowed himself to lose some of his defense instincts since beginning this relationship with Chloe. He did not need them with her. It was a wrong move on his part. It seemed that he needed them now more than ever, if he were going to protect both of them from people like the good doctor.
The door open, and Lex shifted his focus to the brunette who stepped in with that lopsided smile and dry wit.
"Sorry I'm late. I had a patient go into cardiac arrest and saying, 'Sorry, I have a date' might have come off as slightly insensitive." Lex fixed his cold stare at her. This was a woman who Chloe spent time with, laughed with, invested trust in. "The patient's fine now. Thanks for asking." It was all he could do not to spring from the table and wrap his fingers around her smooth neck. He had too much to live for. So he remained where he was.
It was time to get this over with. "You told me you never met my father." He slid the pictures that made Chloe shake her head in denial last night.
"Who took these photographs?" He really did not see how that made a difference, but he still answered. "You had me followed?"
She was defensive. If there was anything Lex hated, it was a woman who was too overcome with what she felt that she could not manage a logical and calm answer. "Who are you?"
Someone who would not let a money-grabbing stranger hurt the person he cared most about. Someone who made a mistake trusting his happiness with Chloe to a woman he did not even know. There was one lesson he took from his father. That was to never trust anyone else. Lex opened his mouth to reply when he saw one of the newest house helps wiping the railing right outside his study, surreptitiously listening to every word exchanged. He said instead, "Someone who's been burned by the opposite sex more times than he cares to admit. So tell me. Why does a Harvard-educated physician, a woman of supposed integrity, accept a six-figure sum to spy on a man she claims to have feelings for?"
Helen looked at him puzzled and angry at the same time. "First of all, I don't recall anything of the sort. And second of all, if you think I'm going to put up with your pathetic paranoid attempts art invading my privacy, you're even more arrogant than everyone said you were." She stepped very close to him and hissed, "You know what, I pity a girl like Chloe being stuck with a guy like you." She turned around and stormed out.
~~
Chloe leaned back her head on the seat of the plush car. They were parked outside the hospital. Try as she might, she could not think of anything else to do. If Lex were right and Lionel was having him followed, then it was most likely that Lionel suspected something. She could not risk the chance that it was her relationship with Lex that Lionel was observing.
She could not believe that this was actually happening. It was one thing to have the pretension under control. Then she could put a stop to it if she could not handle it anymore. It was another thing if they were being forced to do it because of a threat. And Lionel Luthor was a threat.
For the hundredth time, she blamed herself for not being brave enough to just face up to the reality that she was involved with Lex-Smallville and its opinions be damned.
Now she had to watch the man she loved pretend to feel for a stranger what he whispered to her in the dark. Even more than before, she felt like the mistress. Sure, she teased him about the word when they could not admit their friendship. But now, when she was certain that he was hers, it stung with wordless pain to accept that she had to be content with stolen moments.
His hand around hers was warm. It always was.
"Are you okay?" She nodded. "You don't have to come with me."
Chloe smiled, but her eyes remained closed. "Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea how much worse it would be in my imagination?"
She felt his lips on her temple, where they remained for thirty endless seconds. "You've talked to her," he stated. Still, she nodded in answer. "I love you so much."
"I know that."
"It doesn't make a difference, does it?"
"I'll be watching my nightmare unfold," Chloe admitted.
He took a deep breath. "Open your eyes." She found herself staring into the blue depths of his. He held her gaze, so that he would be sure that she heard every word. "Every word that passes through my lips later, Chloe, are meant for you. Not for her. What I'll do with Helen, I'm doing for us."
"I know that," she said lightly. "I got you into this mess."
Lex shook his head. "Let's forget the forced levity for a minute, Chloe. I know you're scared. You don't have to be." He pressed a kiss on her parted lips. "You'll be the first person to hear this. You're the one this is meant for. When my mother died, I began to build a wall around my heart. You know that, Chloe. You were with me the entire time. Every year after that wall grew taller and more fortified until eventually it became impenetrable. I can't count anymore how many people tried breaking it. But there was one girl who effortlessly stepped past it and chipped that thing block by block."
"You don't-"
"You, Chloe, beyond anything else in my life, are the reason why I will never become my father."
He should be guilty. For the last few days, he had been giving a huge bulk of the responsibility for LexCorp to Gabe Sullivan. Nobody doubted his decision. At the factory, all the employees believed that Lex had been entrusting the work to Gabe because he was a senior employee and because he was a damn good manager. But Lex knew the real reason why he had been making Gabe unavailable. Gabe had been sleeping in the office for several days. Just yesterday afternoon, the man had been sent to Metropolis on an urgent check up with one of their suppliers. Admittedly, these were concerns that could have waited until Lex could attend to them himself. In fact, he had been attending to these even when he was still in LuthorCorp.
But the cause of Gabe Sullivan's overtime hours this week was lying on his bed right now, silk sheets covering her from the small of her back down to her toes. Lex appreciated the wonderful glow of morning sunlight on the bare skin of her back. He touched her shoulder gently and brushed a kiss on her nape.
Lex hated waking her up. He always feels something beautiful whenever he looks at her sleep. It was almost as if for that long moment he was as clean as she always seemed to be. But he had to wake her now. Morning had broken with a burst of sun that confirmed that their private time had ended. It was no longer night, when they could hold each other in the dark, and drown in each other's scent and sound.
The rings under her eyes told him that he should give her an hour more, perhaps two. They had stayed up late last night when Chloe had a heavy heart. He found out that Helen, whom Chloe had grown so close to since their first meeting, was not who she pretended to be. Looking at the pictures that now sat on the nightstand, Lex felt anger. Chloe, on the other hand, felt betrayal. He could understand what she felt. At five, her mother left her. The past weeks bonded Chloe to Helen, who at twenty-six, may have been the only woman other than Martha Kent that Chloe saw a mother, or at least an older sister, in. Helen would probably be pissed if she knew the reference but after what he found out, he really did not care what Dr. Bryce thought.
He spent the night subtly comforting Chloe, who never admitted that she was deeply hurt by Helen's duplicity. But that was Chloe. She would tell you that she had not been affected but her eyes would scream otherwise.
He watched as her eyelashes began to flutter. Lex met the reluctantly opening eyes with a soft smile. "Feeling better?"
She groaned, but still reached up to pull him down for a kiss. "Not really. But I have to get up anyway right?"
"You have Hero-Defrocking 101 with Ms. Bisery. You know how much you adore that subject?"
"I do not," she answered, chuckling. Chloe appreciated how he made an effort to make her laugh. "It's an insult to what I've previously been taught."
"Not everyone is the way you believe him to be, Chloe. When you learn to accept that, you won't set yourself up for too harsh a disappointment."
She shook her head, her eyes clouding. "I refuse to live my life distrusting every person that I meet."
"Yet you're surrounded with evidence to the contrary. You and I both know that Clark has a secret that he won't share. Underneath the veneer of jollity that is Pete Ross is a boy with a considerable loathing for all things Luthor. When the entire school pretty much believed Whitney Fordman was nothing but a heartthrob athlete, he proved you wrong by actually having the guts to enlist," Lex enumerated. "And now Helen."
"They can have a thousand secrets for all I care," Chloe answered. "I know someone who will never hide anything from me. That's why I know I can put my faith on one person."
"Your dad," Lex stated.
"Even parents are allowed to hide things. I meant you, Lex."
Lex's eyebrows furrowed, and he looked as if he were reading her. Slowly, he nodded. "That's right."
"Can I hold on to that?"
He closed his hand around hers on top of the blanket. "You know you can." Lex pulled at the hand in his. "Now come on. We have to haul you to the shower fast. You don't want to be late."
She shot up from the bed. "It's a thirty minute walk from here!"
"Relax. I'll drive you."
"You're dropping me off at a time when students are actually arriving, and we'd be in full sight. You're a regular daredevil, aren't you?" His eyes gleaned, and she remembered that the decision not to be open about the relationship was now only hers. "Well, I'm not." At his crestfallen look, she gave him an adorable smile. "You have something to take care of for us. I'd rather you get it over with as soon as possible. All right?"
~~
Lex sat in his study, his thoughts far away, filled with thoughts of his father, of Chloe, of the mess that he and Chloe entered when they involved themselves with Helen Bryce. He did not know how to approach the matter at hand. But he promised Chloe he would, and he will. He was used to people and their acts. Maybe he allowed himself to lose some of his defense instincts since beginning this relationship with Chloe. He did not need them with her. It was a wrong move on his part. It seemed that he needed them now more than ever, if he were going to protect both of them from people like the good doctor.
The door open, and Lex shifted his focus to the brunette who stepped in with that lopsided smile and dry wit.
"Sorry I'm late. I had a patient go into cardiac arrest and saying, 'Sorry, I have a date' might have come off as slightly insensitive." Lex fixed his cold stare at her. This was a woman who Chloe spent time with, laughed with, invested trust in. "The patient's fine now. Thanks for asking." It was all he could do not to spring from the table and wrap his fingers around her smooth neck. He had too much to live for. So he remained where he was.
It was time to get this over with. "You told me you never met my father." He slid the pictures that made Chloe shake her head in denial last night.
"Who took these photographs?" He really did not see how that made a difference, but he still answered. "You had me followed?"
She was defensive. If there was anything Lex hated, it was a woman who was too overcome with what she felt that she could not manage a logical and calm answer. "Who are you?"
Someone who would not let a money-grabbing stranger hurt the person he cared most about. Someone who made a mistake trusting his happiness with Chloe to a woman he did not even know. There was one lesson he took from his father. That was to never trust anyone else. Lex opened his mouth to reply when he saw one of the newest house helps wiping the railing right outside his study, surreptitiously listening to every word exchanged. He said instead, "Someone who's been burned by the opposite sex more times than he cares to admit. So tell me. Why does a Harvard-educated physician, a woman of supposed integrity, accept a six-figure sum to spy on a man she claims to have feelings for?"
Helen looked at him puzzled and angry at the same time. "First of all, I don't recall anything of the sort. And second of all, if you think I'm going to put up with your pathetic paranoid attempts art invading my privacy, you're even more arrogant than everyone said you were." She stepped very close to him and hissed, "You know what, I pity a girl like Chloe being stuck with a guy like you." She turned around and stormed out.
~~
Chloe leaned back her head on the seat of the plush car. They were parked outside the hospital. Try as she might, she could not think of anything else to do. If Lex were right and Lionel was having him followed, then it was most likely that Lionel suspected something. She could not risk the chance that it was her relationship with Lex that Lionel was observing.
She could not believe that this was actually happening. It was one thing to have the pretension under control. Then she could put a stop to it if she could not handle it anymore. It was another thing if they were being forced to do it because of a threat. And Lionel Luthor was a threat.
For the hundredth time, she blamed herself for not being brave enough to just face up to the reality that she was involved with Lex-Smallville and its opinions be damned.
Now she had to watch the man she loved pretend to feel for a stranger what he whispered to her in the dark. Even more than before, she felt like the mistress. Sure, she teased him about the word when they could not admit their friendship. But now, when she was certain that he was hers, it stung with wordless pain to accept that she had to be content with stolen moments.
His hand around hers was warm. It always was.
"Are you okay?" She nodded. "You don't have to come with me."
Chloe smiled, but her eyes remained closed. "Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea how much worse it would be in my imagination?"
She felt his lips on her temple, where they remained for thirty endless seconds. "You've talked to her," he stated. Still, she nodded in answer. "I love you so much."
"I know that."
"It doesn't make a difference, does it?"
"I'll be watching my nightmare unfold," Chloe admitted.
He took a deep breath. "Open your eyes." She found herself staring into the blue depths of his. He held her gaze, so that he would be sure that she heard every word. "Every word that passes through my lips later, Chloe, are meant for you. Not for her. What I'll do with Helen, I'm doing for us."
"I know that," she said lightly. "I got you into this mess."
Lex shook his head. "Let's forget the forced levity for a minute, Chloe. I know you're scared. You don't have to be." He pressed a kiss on her parted lips. "You'll be the first person to hear this. You're the one this is meant for. When my mother died, I began to build a wall around my heart. You know that, Chloe. You were with me the entire time. Every year after that wall grew taller and more fortified until eventually it became impenetrable. I can't count anymore how many people tried breaking it. But there was one girl who effortlessly stepped past it and chipped that thing block by block."
"You don't-"
"You, Chloe, beyond anything else in my life, are the reason why I will never become my father."