RUNNING OUT OF PHOENIX
Her hands were trembling as she took the glass that Lionel offered. Chloe closed two hands around it and nursed it with a small sip. When the fiery liquid burned down her throat, Chloe coughed. She gave the glass back to Lionel.
"Look, Mr. Luthor, there is nothing else I could possibly offer you," she began. He had drawn her away from the crowd, away from Helen, not an hour earlier. If he wanted to know more about Clark, she would have to say no again. It would not even be just because she had nothing more to say. She just could think of anything anymore. Not today. Not after that experience.
Lionel took the glass and put it on his desk. He then looked out his broken window. "It doesn't occur to you that we have more than that to talk about?" he asked the girl.
Chloe closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Lex did not protect their secret only to have her spilling everything just because she was so tired of the lie.
"Abraham threw Isaac on the pyre to prove his faith to God."
Chloe's lips parted, but her eyes remained closed. She could not dare hope. If she expected it too much, her heart would once again be trampled on the ground.
Yet the same voice came again. "What was your excuse?"
Both Chloe and Lionel turned towards the hooded new arrival. Only Lionel found his power of speech. "Lex?"
Like a mirage suddenly come alive, Lex walked into the room and pulled the hood back. His cold gaze settled on Lionel. He trained the gun on his father. Without looking at Chloe, he said, "Whoever you are, I suggest you get out of here now."
Chloe covered her mouth with her hand as she drank in the sight of Lex, after months of hoping and dying inside, standing in front of her and not even sparing her a look, a touch. She walked backwards towards the door.
"Son," Lionel said. He watched Chloe leave, and then looked at Lex again. "Put the gun down."
Lex was empty and full at the same time. He could almost remember, at the very periphery of his memories, that he had once been happy beyond belief. He had loved and been so loved. At the same time, there was one name that hung over his head, the last face he had seen when before the crash. It was Helen. He had to know where she was.
After his conversation with his father, Lex had to answer the questions that overcast his mind. He went to his mansion to wait for the woman who was, for all intents and purposes, his wife.
"Home sweet home."
"Lex... Oh thank God!" Helen turned around and threw her arms around him.
The embrace left him unmoved. Where was the great love he could barely touch? "Trust me. I've done that already. He seems to be the only one on my side lately."
Helen's eyebrows drew together in confusion. "But the rescue was called off. How—"
It was then that he named them—all the schemes and theories that he had worked out. She had to have done something. All the women in his life were out to kill him or hurt him. Helen had to be one of them.
"You don't believe me?" she asked.
Lex could not let go of the emotion that he could associate with her. He loved, and it had to do with the woman in front of him. This feeling, that he remembered when he remembered nothing else, was likely real. "I know you worked for my father. After I gave you the blood back and you apologized, you turned around and sold it to him."
"Your father said if I gave him the blood he'd leave us alone forever. He's playing us against each other."
"We seem to do a good job of that on our own."
Tears rose in her eyes. "If you want to annul this marriage, I'll get out of your life," she said. She turned to leave, then stopped. "But for what it's worth, I do love you."
Lex's jaw tightened.
She was not going to lose this easily. "Before I go," she told him, "I want you to think about a few things. These may not affect you, because you could have just as easily chosen to forget everything between us, but I still want to say them. I can tell myself I tried."
He turned to look directly at her.
Helen walked towards him and took his hand, then pressed her cheek into his palm. "Can you imagine loving someone who had always been your best friend? Can you hear poetry in your head? Can you see us trying, no matter how unsuccessfully, to bake cookies and cakes there in your kitchen?" Helen paused. This was her last effort, and it could easily prove to be against her. "You always told me you'd take care of me," she related. "Whenever I'm hurt, I'd always wake up to find you there." Lex watched the tears streaking down the doctor's face now. "And when I thought I was pregnant, and I asked you to stay away, you stood back and you waited. Then when we found out that I wasn't, you let me cry."
His fingers on her cheek moved so that he could brush away her tears too.
"Do you remember any of that?"
~~
Chloe tucked her backpack under her coat. She sniffled the entire way to the bus station. There was no way she could stay in Smallville—not after what she saw of Lex. She would always be grateful that he was alive and well. Still, to see him every day and to know that he remembered nothing of what they had would be more painful than to lose him completely.
She played back his words to her, and again heard the coldness, the distance that characterized his speech. He had never been indifferent to her—not in love and not in arguments. She would not live with his dispassion.
Chloe paid cash for her ticket and half-ran to the bus that bore the tag PHOENIX. It was the destination bus that was leaving soonest. The earlier she could get away, Chloe figured, the sooner she would heal.
On her way to the line, a heavy body bumped into her. Her bag dropped on the ground and she knelt to pick up the scattered contents. Seeing her pressed powder now shattered brought on another wave of tears. Chloe sobbed while gathering her possessions.
The man who bumped into her cared enough to stop and help her. Chloe quickly inserted everything in her bag.
"Chloe Sullivan?" asked the deep voice.
Chloe looked up and found herself staring into the eyes of Lucas Dunleavy. "Lucas," she breathed. What was he doing there?
Lucas held out a picture that spilled with her things. It was a shot of her and Lex, one of her most hidden secrets. Despite the fact that she needed to forget him, she could not leave with that one remembrance.
"Why are you here?" Lucas demanded, taking in her appearance. "You look like hell. Where's my brother?" He looked around, not believing that Lex would have allowed Chloe such unsafe public transportation, especially in his obviously distressed condition.
Chloe snatched the photograph from Lucas. "He's not here." She closed her bag and stood up. "Now get out of the way. I'll miss my bus."
"Chloe." She walked towards the line. "What's going on?" Lucas grabbed her arm to ask. When she whirled around to face him, Lucas saw her face go pasty white. He slackened his grip on her arm.
Chloe ran to the washroom and bent low over the sink, breathing, heaving. She looked up at herself in the mirror and saw her image weaving. Chloe closed her eyes.
"Sullivan!" she heard Lucas yell from outside. He pounded on the door. "Sullivan, what's going on?! Chloe!"
She took deep calming breaths and told herself that she could handle any obstacle. She would survive. Lex told her she was strong. She would hold on to that.
Chloe walked to the door and stepped out. She gave Lucas a small smile. "Your brother was in an accident. He has no memory of me," she said, simply and to the point.
"And you're leaving," he stated matter-of-factly, but she could detect the sarcasm in his tone. "I never figured you for a quitter."
"You don't know how it feels like."
Lucas wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She was there when Lex took him from the depths of Edge City. Hers was the reason that he listened to when he was embroiled in the Luthor conflict. Whatever happened, and whomever Lex thought he loved now, Lucas knew how his brother felt for this woman. "Show me?" She looked up at him, wondering if she really wanted to take on that pain. "I'll be with you the entire time. Just don't leave him now."
~~
Lionel studied Lex's countenance, figuring out what his son was prepared and equipped for. He listened to the words, but could not find one sign that he should tell his son everything that he had missed.
"—I would have died on that island. All the tests you put me through . . . made me a survivor. If I keep my pride in check I know there's more to learn from you. I was hoping your offer still stands to run LuthorCorp together." Lex continued, "There are so many things I know I'll remember, I need to remember. A lot of them are linked to the plant. I'm glad you've considered this, father."
Sooner or later, Lex would encounter people who would mention his past, and expect Lex to answer. Even if his employees were told not to discuss anything personal with his son, Lex would soon find out. These things had a way a getting out. "I, um, I-I don't want you making a hasty decision, Lex. You've just been through an incredibly traumatic ordeal."
"No. I've learned to trust my instincts."
Lionel scrutinized his son's eyes. Then, he took Lex's hand and shook it. "Good to have you back... son."
Lex embraced his father and closed his eyes. One day, he would remember everything. Perhaps then he would see what he had done wrong for Helen to betray their love the way she did. After everything they had been through, all the things she enumerated and more, how could she forget?
And why, after the terrible betrayal, could he not erase the love he associated with each one of those memories?
Her hands were trembling as she took the glass that Lionel offered. Chloe closed two hands around it and nursed it with a small sip. When the fiery liquid burned down her throat, Chloe coughed. She gave the glass back to Lionel.
"Look, Mr. Luthor, there is nothing else I could possibly offer you," she began. He had drawn her away from the crowd, away from Helen, not an hour earlier. If he wanted to know more about Clark, she would have to say no again. It would not even be just because she had nothing more to say. She just could think of anything anymore. Not today. Not after that experience.
Lionel took the glass and put it on his desk. He then looked out his broken window. "It doesn't occur to you that we have more than that to talk about?" he asked the girl.
Chloe closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Lex did not protect their secret only to have her spilling everything just because she was so tired of the lie.
"Abraham threw Isaac on the pyre to prove his faith to God."
Chloe's lips parted, but her eyes remained closed. She could not dare hope. If she expected it too much, her heart would once again be trampled on the ground.
Yet the same voice came again. "What was your excuse?"
Both Chloe and Lionel turned towards the hooded new arrival. Only Lionel found his power of speech. "Lex?"
Like a mirage suddenly come alive, Lex walked into the room and pulled the hood back. His cold gaze settled on Lionel. He trained the gun on his father. Without looking at Chloe, he said, "Whoever you are, I suggest you get out of here now."
Chloe covered her mouth with her hand as she drank in the sight of Lex, after months of hoping and dying inside, standing in front of her and not even sparing her a look, a touch. She walked backwards towards the door.
"Son," Lionel said. He watched Chloe leave, and then looked at Lex again. "Put the gun down."
Lex was empty and full at the same time. He could almost remember, at the very periphery of his memories, that he had once been happy beyond belief. He had loved and been so loved. At the same time, there was one name that hung over his head, the last face he had seen when before the crash. It was Helen. He had to know where she was.
After his conversation with his father, Lex had to answer the questions that overcast his mind. He went to his mansion to wait for the woman who was, for all intents and purposes, his wife.
"Home sweet home."
"Lex... Oh thank God!" Helen turned around and threw her arms around him.
The embrace left him unmoved. Where was the great love he could barely touch? "Trust me. I've done that already. He seems to be the only one on my side lately."
Helen's eyebrows drew together in confusion. "But the rescue was called off. How—"
It was then that he named them—all the schemes and theories that he had worked out. She had to have done something. All the women in his life were out to kill him or hurt him. Helen had to be one of them.
"You don't believe me?" she asked.
Lex could not let go of the emotion that he could associate with her. He loved, and it had to do with the woman in front of him. This feeling, that he remembered when he remembered nothing else, was likely real. "I know you worked for my father. After I gave you the blood back and you apologized, you turned around and sold it to him."
"Your father said if I gave him the blood he'd leave us alone forever. He's playing us against each other."
"We seem to do a good job of that on our own."
Tears rose in her eyes. "If you want to annul this marriage, I'll get out of your life," she said. She turned to leave, then stopped. "But for what it's worth, I do love you."
Lex's jaw tightened.
She was not going to lose this easily. "Before I go," she told him, "I want you to think about a few things. These may not affect you, because you could have just as easily chosen to forget everything between us, but I still want to say them. I can tell myself I tried."
He turned to look directly at her.
Helen walked towards him and took his hand, then pressed her cheek into his palm. "Can you imagine loving someone who had always been your best friend? Can you hear poetry in your head? Can you see us trying, no matter how unsuccessfully, to bake cookies and cakes there in your kitchen?" Helen paused. This was her last effort, and it could easily prove to be against her. "You always told me you'd take care of me," she related. "Whenever I'm hurt, I'd always wake up to find you there." Lex watched the tears streaking down the doctor's face now. "And when I thought I was pregnant, and I asked you to stay away, you stood back and you waited. Then when we found out that I wasn't, you let me cry."
His fingers on her cheek moved so that he could brush away her tears too.
"Do you remember any of that?"
~~
Chloe tucked her backpack under her coat. She sniffled the entire way to the bus station. There was no way she could stay in Smallville—not after what she saw of Lex. She would always be grateful that he was alive and well. Still, to see him every day and to know that he remembered nothing of what they had would be more painful than to lose him completely.
She played back his words to her, and again heard the coldness, the distance that characterized his speech. He had never been indifferent to her—not in love and not in arguments. She would not live with his dispassion.
Chloe paid cash for her ticket and half-ran to the bus that bore the tag PHOENIX. It was the destination bus that was leaving soonest. The earlier she could get away, Chloe figured, the sooner she would heal.
On her way to the line, a heavy body bumped into her. Her bag dropped on the ground and she knelt to pick up the scattered contents. Seeing her pressed powder now shattered brought on another wave of tears. Chloe sobbed while gathering her possessions.
The man who bumped into her cared enough to stop and help her. Chloe quickly inserted everything in her bag.
"Chloe Sullivan?" asked the deep voice.
Chloe looked up and found herself staring into the eyes of Lucas Dunleavy. "Lucas," she breathed. What was he doing there?
Lucas held out a picture that spilled with her things. It was a shot of her and Lex, one of her most hidden secrets. Despite the fact that she needed to forget him, she could not leave with that one remembrance.
"Why are you here?" Lucas demanded, taking in her appearance. "You look like hell. Where's my brother?" He looked around, not believing that Lex would have allowed Chloe such unsafe public transportation, especially in his obviously distressed condition.
Chloe snatched the photograph from Lucas. "He's not here." She closed her bag and stood up. "Now get out of the way. I'll miss my bus."
"Chloe." She walked towards the line. "What's going on?" Lucas grabbed her arm to ask. When she whirled around to face him, Lucas saw her face go pasty white. He slackened his grip on her arm.
Chloe ran to the washroom and bent low over the sink, breathing, heaving. She looked up at herself in the mirror and saw her image weaving. Chloe closed her eyes.
"Sullivan!" she heard Lucas yell from outside. He pounded on the door. "Sullivan, what's going on?! Chloe!"
She took deep calming breaths and told herself that she could handle any obstacle. She would survive. Lex told her she was strong. She would hold on to that.
Chloe walked to the door and stepped out. She gave Lucas a small smile. "Your brother was in an accident. He has no memory of me," she said, simply and to the point.
"And you're leaving," he stated matter-of-factly, but she could detect the sarcasm in his tone. "I never figured you for a quitter."
"You don't know how it feels like."
Lucas wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She was there when Lex took him from the depths of Edge City. Hers was the reason that he listened to when he was embroiled in the Luthor conflict. Whatever happened, and whomever Lex thought he loved now, Lucas knew how his brother felt for this woman. "Show me?" She looked up at him, wondering if she really wanted to take on that pain. "I'll be with you the entire time. Just don't leave him now."
~~
Lionel studied Lex's countenance, figuring out what his son was prepared and equipped for. He listened to the words, but could not find one sign that he should tell his son everything that he had missed.
"—I would have died on that island. All the tests you put me through . . . made me a survivor. If I keep my pride in check I know there's more to learn from you. I was hoping your offer still stands to run LuthorCorp together." Lex continued, "There are so many things I know I'll remember, I need to remember. A lot of them are linked to the plant. I'm glad you've considered this, father."
Sooner or later, Lex would encounter people who would mention his past, and expect Lex to answer. Even if his employees were told not to discuss anything personal with his son, Lex would soon find out. These things had a way a getting out. "I, um, I-I don't want you making a hasty decision, Lex. You've just been through an incredibly traumatic ordeal."
"No. I've learned to trust my instincts."
Lionel scrutinized his son's eyes. Then, he took Lex's hand and shook it. "Good to have you back... son."
Lex embraced his father and closed his eyes. One day, he would remember everything. Perhaps then he would see what he had done wrong for Helen to betray their love the way she did. After everything they had been through, all the things she enumerated and more, how could she forget?
And why, after the terrible betrayal, could he not erase the love he associated with each one of those memories?