A/N: Alright, so I got this up a little late, but it's here...
ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY REVIEWERS:
IndesElfwine: Yay! Chickens! Queen is a great band, and I completely agree with your opinion. He influenced so many musicians, and not just in rock, but from a variety of different genres.
iamnotachipmunk: I SWEAR, I'm not trying to do anything to you! Yes, Kyle and Austin's forbidden romance can now blossom...j/k (I think...ha!). I'm sure a straight-jacket would look very nice on you...and bubble rooms are fun!
Nanners-77: Yes, Fresh Prince, totally awesome! So I built up the sexual tension nicely, huh? I don't know if you were right either. I hate when my reviews get cut off, it so pisses me the frell off! And yes, she finally broke up with Kyle. I don't know if they'll be another fight between Freddy and him...there wasn't much of a fight before. Really, Freddy just pounded him, because Freddy's awesome like that. Originally I started this out with the Notebook in mind, I wanted it to be similar to that story, but it kind of changed as the characters took over. So, it's kind of ironic you would say that. I'm pretty sure all the fangirls would love this sequel, and then they'd form a "Kill Summer Because She Keeps Hurting Freddy's Feelings" mob, or something like that...and yes, your reviews are getting pretty long. I also noticed, that you never have any criticism in them, as I've seen in some of your reviews to other fanfics, which makes me feel so proud! You are one of the harshest reviewers in this fandom, and I idolize you for it. -I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror...
sweetcaroline: I know all the words too! I sing along when it comes on and my family looks at me funny! So my update didn't come incredibly soon, but it's up.
vaguely specific: YAY! You reviewed twice. This replies going to be long, wyverna might get jealous...I adore Seth Green. He's a really talented comic too. Creative genius is more like it. He did great as the voice of Chris on Family Guy (and various other voices), and have you seen his new show, Robot Chicken? Awesome! Your right, there was no Kyle. But wasn't he there in essence? Speaking bad things in their minds, making them (Freddy especially) feel a little less than he was worse and making him question his motives. Its actually totally cool that you overthought that whole thing, because when my readers do that, it makes me realize things I didn't about my (I say mine, though technically they are owned by Mike White)characters. Yes, even I don't know everything about the characters I'm writing for. Yeah, Freddy's a little frustrating at times, but he has difficulty understanding his feelings. I may or may not explain that later. John Lennon is awesome, he wrote some great songs. I almost said both John Lennon and Paul McCartney, but that was a bit much, so I chose Lennon (who the world did mourn for when he was shot). Your story about the teeny bopper reminded me of this guy at work who listens to R&B and Rap. Now, I don't usually mind them, and I won't say anything about how crappy most of it is, but when I put my music on (albeit, at the time it was the Monkees and the Carpenters), he's all saying "this is gay shit," and crap like that. I was livid. I was like, "dude, your music has a two-week lifespan, and this stuff has been playing on the radio for generations!" He said the same thing about Aerosmith, Lynard Skynard, Supertramp, Blondie...erm...what else did I play...oh, the Eagles. I don't usually bitch about other peoples type of music, because I think it's wrong, but when someone says something about my type of music I will politely point out how truly unoriginal and crappy their style of music is. The record store was supposed to demonstrate that Summer was (deep down) a rocker, not to herself, but to Freddy and that guy at the record store (was his name Greg?) You can't say that not all the bands nowadays aren't as good as the classics. I mean, Greenday is great, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Maroon5, Blink 182. Now, of course, these aren't rock in its purest form, but they're still just as good as the classics. AND WHAT ABOUT NIRVANA! I wouldn't say better than, but just as good, yes. I was raised on the classics myself. I wouldn't mind Seth Green as a present...
Alex: Wow! Zealous! Yup, lots of Freddy/Summer, a little Katie/Zack, and no Kyle. Seems to be the combination that makes most of the readers happy! I love your description of Kyle "EVIL, NASTY, FOUL, RATRINK", ratfink really helped with the imagery, the rest is lost without it...hehe...The Austin/Kyle thing is no problem, and I've bitched about the "one post per chapter" policy myself on occassion. I would invite you to my party...if I was having one...but I'm not. I may go out drinking though. That would be fun. Oh! Maybe I get a karaoke night out of my friends or family. That would be fun. I LOVE LOST TOO! Charlie especially...but Jack is hot. And yes, I did watch the Chipmunks. But I've never had the urge to watch Desperate Housewives. I don't watch a lot of television...
wyverna: I was watching Fresh Prince of Bel-Air when I was typing up the end of the A/N, and the lyrics just came out...Keep in mind, we haven't seen the last of Kyle. Just because she broke up with me, doesn't mean he's gone forever. I don't think I could have worked in Summer kicking Kyle in the "painful parts", as you so humurously put it, but that doesn't mean he hasn't gotten the last of his beatings. He may have, I'm not saying anything, but you know...err...what am I saying? Meh. You'll be my friend? Cool! I have a friend! This review was really short, I should point out, which is why this reply is so short. Sorry...
pancake whackee: You think I effing rock? That's so sweet!I think I fucking rock...but you can go with effing. J/K. It's cool that you connect with Summer so well. And like I said before (to another reviewer) I like when my readers analyze my characters, because it points out traits about them that I didn't see before. Like you did. I didn't really notice how much she thought everything out. Bashfully I admit I took a lot of Summer's character in this story from me, same with Katie. Summer gets her trust issues relating to friends from me, and Katie her shyness covered up with sarcasm. If you think about it, they both push people away...hm...Freddy does too, same with Lawrence. Tomika and Zack don't seem to...and the others...haven't really gotten into them very much, now have I? I hope to see more reviews from you, and your S/N is 'effing' awesome. hehehe...
Parcie05: So long as you don't love them now, I won't shake my head in shame of you. That's flattering, but I think there are a lot of other really good (probably better) stories out there. Phish Food's was really good, and she reviewed my story and mentioned she'll be continuing it...which makes me so happy, which reminds me...I have to say something in the END A/N...the answers are soon, and yes, Summer's mom is a real bitch. She's kind of based on what's her name...from Mommy, Dearest.
BadFaith: I was wondering when you would review again! That would be so cool if you went back and reviewed all those chapters, it would make me so happy! I love Spike/Buffy too! Though I haven't read any of the fics in that fandom, seeing as how I haven't felt the need to, and Spike is so much better (and hotter) on tv.And I'm not so sure about Hermione/Draco, I really don't ship anything for Harry Potter(as I don't read Harry Potter fanfics, or any book fanfics for that matter).Iwould however, not mind seeing Harry paired with Hermione in the actual book, though I thinkRowlings is kind of leaning more towards Ron and Hermione. Sigh. Phillipines? Sounds like fun. A friend of mine is studying abroad in China right now. They're both kind of close to eachother...kind of...sort of...okay, so I don't know, geographically where they lie, but they're both in Asia!I'm sorry the Nintendo and Super Mario Bros. comment upset you, really I am. But you see, I may not be old enough to have lived through the Mario Bros. craze, but I was raised on Classic Nintendo myself. Where everyone else was getting these Sega systems, and Super NES systems, we had my father's shitty ass old game system, because we couldn't afford the new ones. So we had to sit there blowing on the cartridge, jiggling it around in the game, and all that shit for like ten minutes in order to play a game, and we played all the greats. Super Mario Bros. (1,2,and3), Gauntlet (1 and 2), Legend of Zelda (the second one, with the gold cartridge), and lesser known games, Tropical Island (great RPG), and Swords and Serpeants (or whatever it was called) and a few others I can't remember the titles of. Tetris, and Dr. Mario also, my older sister ruled at these games. So that's why that comment was there, it had to do with my growing up more than anything. I let a little of myself slip in there, so I hope you can forgive me. I think the recent craze is more attributed to the fact they're releasing all those old games on gameboy and whatnot (which I think is totally awesome!) But I understand where your coming from. Zack and Katie, well...actually...Katie's character in this story is a lot like me. She's shy, self-conscious, a feminist and activist, and her feelings towards her family...well, I used to have the same feelings, she uses sarcasm to protect herself, isn't very good at displaying emotion...and well, Zack is kind of becoming the type of boy I would go for. He's intelligent, smart, funny, easy to hang with, and kind of a little nerdish. But it's cool if you aren't down with it, so long as you keep reading for something (Summer/Freddy), I'm fine. How nice, that the awards made you think of me. I've never heard of the Streets, maybe I should look them up. Greenday is always great, and SNOOP DOG! I love him, he's one of the few rap artists I can stand! I mean, he's so cool, and he has been around so long. Him, Usher (because the guy is so goddamned hot, has no inhibitions about taking his shirt off, and has a great singing voice), and...well, I'm sure there's more, I just can't think of them now. Fan voting, yeah, that's the way all awards shows are nowadays, which is why I don't watch them. Judging by your last comment, are you a guy? Just wondering...
Whew, that was long.
ENJOY!
Chapter 12: All's Fair In Love And War
Summer watched the cab turn off of her cul-de-sac and fell into a sitting position on her front porch, the light flickering on and off. Her pack was left lying there on the doorstep, and she took that to mean the keys were inside and she could let herself in. The house was dark, and she assumed her mother and brother were asleep. By morning, the whole event of shoving Summer out the car door and abandoning her on the other side of town would be completely forgotten.
Summer sighed, pulling her pack into her lap and slumping against the door. She thought of Freddy and touched her bottom lip, closing her eyes and relaxing on the cool cement and hard wood. She wouldn't go inside, wouldn't give her mother the satisfaction of seeing her defeated and dependant. Didn't want to hear her mother mock her, or her mother's angry words asking where she'd been and what had taken her so long.
Freddy Jones. She, Summer Hathaway, Horace Green's renowned good girl had just spent the evening with Horace Green's resident bad boy. His words reverberated in her mind. I probably only want you now because you have a boyfriend. She wondered how he felt about her knowing she didn't have that boyfriend anymore. She tightened her grasp on her pack. The idea that even for a moment he wanted her, even if it was motivated for the wrong reasons, was oddly unsettling, and strangely, Summer liked it. But it was different than with Kyle. Knowing Kyle wanted her, all she could think about was that someone wanted her, and liked her, and wanted to kiss and hold and be with her. But with Freddy, all she could think about was that he wanted her and liked her and wanted to kiss and hold and be with her.
Breaking up with Kyle had been so easy. The words had just fallen from Summer's mouth. It's over. And she hadn't known why, at the time, she felt so desperate to end things with him. She was certain it had a lot to do with his lying to School of Rock. But after that evening with Freddy, she realized something. Her thoughts had been on the drummer when she'd said those fatal words. He'd played the greatest role in her break-up with her now ex-boyfriend. She wasn't in love with Kyle, and while one wouldn't expect her to be in love with him after such a short courtship, it would seem she was falling for someone else all together. Oddly enough, someone who couldn't help but get on her nerves, someone who drove her up the wall, someone who was a complete opposite of everything she'd thought she'd wanted in a significant other. But it was the truth. Every moment she spent with Kyle she thought of Freddy. Everything Kyle did she compared to Freddy, and Kyle always seemed to fall short. And near the end, when those words had tumbled from her lips in her blitz of anger, one thing was vividly clear in her mind. Kyle wasn't Freddy.
"I don't feel that way about Freddy," she mumbled, as though saying it aloud would make it logical, clear, and true. But deep inside, she knew better. That evening, with Freddy, punctuated by their awkward make-out session, and more importantly, the quiet moment in his arms waiting for the taxi cab was more than evident of her feelings. She was like so many other girls at Horace Green, drooling over the attractive blonde drummer as though he were nothing more than a face and body. She shook her head, frowning. That wasn't true. She knew a lot more about him than those other girls, and the more he revealed to her, the more he let her into his life, the more she found herself wanting to be with him.
What did it matter now though, Summer wondered. Maybe Freddy was using her. He probably was. He couldn't want her any other way. She drew her knees up to her chest and buried her face, hot with blood and flustering. Tears began down her cheeks and she felt so ashamed.
You push people away to protect yourself. God, if that weren't only the half of it. Stop making excuses, she commanded herself. I have known them for six years, longer even. And never have they given me reason to doubt their friendship, never have they betrayed me.
So why do you push them away.
The light inside the living room flickered on and Summer glanced up to the window. Her mother was still up. She settled herself back, rubbing her bare legs and arms furiously in an attempt to warm them up. She had no intentions of going in the house, as her eyes drifted shut and her senses blurred. It was cold, and lonely, dark and unclean, but she would rather stay on the porch the entire night than face her mother.
Several hours later, Pink Floyd's melody rang in Summer's ear, awakening her to the dim sunrise. She fumbled with her pack, procured the tiny phone, flipped it open and pressed it groggily to her ear.
"Erm…'ello…?" she mumbled, trying to straighten. Her hair fell in messy tangles around her face, her muscles were stiff, and her clothes wrinkled and mussed. She felt like hell.
"Summer?" Katie's voice filled her ear, underlined with worry. Summer felt a pang of guilt. She had told the bassist that she would call the night before, but everything had gotten so confused, she'd forgotten, "Where are you? What's going on? Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, everything's fine," Summer assured her friend, grimacing as she straightened and tried stretching. Her left arm, that she had fallen asleep on, and the leg tucked under her body were pins and needles. She yawned, squinting out at the street. The sky was a pale orange, and the sun was just beginning to peek out from behind the horizon. It was early, that much she could discern.
"You didn't call," Katie pointed out, and Summer nodded, before realizing she had to speak or her friend wouldn't understand her. Whatever the time, it was too early in the morning to talk on the phone.
"I know. I'm sorry. Last night was hectic and I…well…kind of forgot," Summer admitted, swiping at her legs to knock the dirt off and a pebble that had imprinted itself in her skin.
"Gee, thanks. Here I am worried sick about you, and all you did was completely forget about me," Katie muttered cynically, "I really feel the love." Summer shook her head, smirking, as Katie lightened her tone, "So, how did the dinner go?"
"Oh, I just woke up," Summer groaned, "Please don't make me recall that nightmare. It's too early…"
"That bad, huh? What happened? Don't tell me Mr. Alumnus wasn't impressed by the almighty Summer Hathaway, who leaps huge academic achievements in single bounds! What was he expecting? Ghandi?"
"Well, it wasn't so much me that he wasn't impressed with as…my current extra-curricular activities…" Summer murmured, licking her dry lips, "Turns out Ivy League Universities really don't look highly on managing rock bands…"
"You didn't," Katie gasped.
"Oh…I did."
"Oh man," Katie broke into laughter, "I really wish I'd been there! God, just to see his face! Oh…oh man…Summer, that's hilarious…oh man…I mean here's this guy expecting prim and pert little princess of a prep school, and he receives a badass rocker!"
"Since when am I a rocker?"
"Since when are you not?"
Summer sighed, glowering up at her house. Her mother had probably left for work already, and, Summer was relieved to know, her mother always went out the garage. She hefted herself to her feet, and dug through her pack for her keys, opening the front door and stumbling in.
"So you gonna give me the details?" Katie interrupted her silent entrance.
"Huh? What details?"
"About your lovers' spat with your boyfriend?" Katie pressed.
"My who?" Summer scrunched her nose, trying to conjure the image of whatever person Katie was talking about, only for Freddy to fill her mind. She flushed. He had never been her boyfriend, and probably never would be.
"You know, Kyle?" Katie hissed, growing impatient.
"Oh," Summer exclaimed, eyes wide. She crept up the stairs, feeling ever more guilty. They'd only been broken up a day. How could she completely forget about him? Freddy, that's how. She smiled softly, touching her hand lightly to the banister, and almost opened her mouth to spill all the details of dinner at the Jones' Estate. But she caught her tongue.
A drunken evening with the band's drummer was hardly something to brag about, Summer told herself. And you don't know what it meant. She was too ashamed of the feelings pestering her, flooding her stomach with annoying butterflies, pervading her thoughts with his face. She couldn't share any of this with Katie. Best friend or not. It was too embarrassing, and it wasn't fair, she realized, to Freddy. Who himself seemed to have no idea what was going on between the two of them. She'd have to talk to him. She felt sick suddenly.
Forget that.
No. There would be no talking to Freddy Jones. He did not talk about his feelings, and Summer did not talk about her feelings with him. Avoiding. That was a better solution. Avoid him like the plague.
"Well…?" Katie broke into her thoughts.
"Huh? Oh…yeah…Kyle…my ex-boyfriend," Summer mumbled, and was overwhelmed with squealing on Katie's end.
"What? Your what? Ex-boyfriend! Details! Spill! Now!"
"Oh…okay," Summer stammered, surprised by the fact her friend just addressed her like a drill sergeant. She entered her room, and quietly shut the door before plopping on her bed and falling onto her backside wearily, "Well…you didn't honestly think I could stay with him after he lied to all of you, and then lied to me. He had no right to say those things, and then to presume he knew what the conversation with my mother had been about…and, not to mention, bringing my mother into it!"
"So you ended things with him?" Katie cried, then giggling, "I'm sorry if I seem a little excited…I really don't mean to," then deadpan, "God, this is so awful."
"I'm really upset about this," Summer exclaimed, undoing the buttons of her blouse and searching her room lazily for a change of clothes, "I mean…I really wanted things to…well…I wanted a boyfriend. I admit it. I was in way over my head, and he made me feel special. Oh god, that sounds so stupid. I am so shallow."
"Summer…"
"What? It's the truth. I was dating Kyle because I wanted a boyfriend, and he was Mister Popular at school," Summer went on, sitting up and throwing her discarded blouse to the floor, she rolled off the bed and headed towards the closet, sliding it open and flinging her many ensembles to the side, "I just wanted to feel like somebody wanted me…somebody wanted to be around me, because I was me…or something like that."
"Summer. We want to be around you, and we want you, because you're you," Katie said carefully. Summer tugged a t-shirt off the hanger, and, holding the phone to her ear with her shoulder, she slipped her arms through the sleeves. She bit her lower lip, not sure what to say to that proclamation, wondering if it were true. Could she let herself believe it?
"Katie…I just…can't…let myself…I can't rely so fully on someone's regards towards me," she stammered.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means…" Summer sighed, pausing to slip the shirt over her head and sort out what she wanted to say, "It means I can't trust anyone completely."
"Not even me," Katie's voice was soft, solemn, almost scared. Summer immediately felt horrible. This was her problem, not Katie's, but she didn't know how to get that point across.
"Katie, I don't really have good luck when it comes to friends, and friendship, and everything…call it trust issues, or whatever you like…but I just…" Summer crossed the room, back towards her bed, falling onto the soft mattress, "I don't want to get hurt."
Katie was silent, and Summer lowered her head, her hair falling in a sprawl about her face. She knew she sounded stupid, whiny even, but she didn't know what else to say or do. She wanted to be able to trust all of her friends blindly, to trust Katie unconditionally, but she couldn't allow herself to do that. And she knew, regrettably, that her good friend wouldn't be able to understand that.
"Getting hurt happens, Summer," Katie began reluctantly, "But it's the price you have to pay, to let yourself feel. You can't feel happy, you can't feel loved, if you don't return it. And you can't feel good without feeling bad as well. It's just how it is. If we've given you any reason to think we'd hurt you…I know that I'm sorry…and I'm not sure about the others, but I think they'd be sorry too."
"It's not that," Summer sighed, "It's just…oh god, forget about it. I can't even begin to explain…it's just…it's not you guys, it's me. I know that sounds like a bad break-up speech, but I can't say anything else, it's all just stupid and complicated, and it has to do with something else entirely. Just forget I said anything…"
"Alright," Katie mumbled hesitantly. She'd never been one to push things, and Summer felt relieved, suddenly loving that about her friend. They were quiet again. "Hey, Tink," Katie started, trying to get the mood back on a pleasant level, "I was thinking of heading to the mall. I need to get some new strings for my guitar, and there's a book Zack said I should check out…so…uh….you want to come hang with me?"
"Um…" Summer flipped a strand of hair from her face, smiling despite what they had only moments before been talking about, "Yeah. Sure. I just need to shower, and maybe eat something."
"Oh, cool. I'll be over in say…an hour and a half?"
"Okay. I'll be ready by then."
"Great. Then you can give me all the gory details about Kyle and that dinner," Katie exclaimed, and Summer flustered, before reminding herself that Katie was not talking about the dinner with Freddy, but rather, the dinner with Mr. Philbur, and there was nothing to get worked up about.
"Right," she piped, "I'll see you then."
"Later."
Closing the phone and flipping it to the end of the bed, Summer fell back on her comfy blanket and thought momentarily about curling up and falling asleep. Never had her bed seemed so inviting, so warm, so…she shook her head and tugged herself up, swaying towards the bathroom. A shower would definitely wake her up, and then clean clothes. She would grab a bite to eat, brush her teeth, scrounge up some money so she didn't spend the afternoon window shopping while Katie bought a bunch of things, and then wait on the curb for her friend. She smiled. That seemed like a good plan.
Freddy. Summer squeezed her eyes shut, rubbing her face. Stop it, she commanded herself. She was determined to go the entire day without thinking about him. More than determined, downright steadfast. She would not think of the annoying, obnoxious - albeit sometimes sweet and very attractive - but, oh so arrogant and jerk-like drummer. She smiled, touching her fingertips to her bottom lip. He was a good kisser. But his kisses were nothing compared to being held tenderly in his arms. She knew a lot of girls that could vouch for Freddy's kissing ability, but she wondered how many could claim to know what it felt like to be gently cradled against his chest.
Bad Summer. That was not, not thinking about Freddy.
She sighed, staring impudently at her pale, disgusted, sickly looking image in the mirror. It was going to be a long day.
0-0-
Katie hopped down the stairs, attempting to pull a shoe on her foot while holding the phone to her ear, the other end of the line ringing. Once, twice, three times…oh, where was he, she thought. She ran into something soft, fleshy, and hard, stumbling back and landing on her bottom gracelessly, before glancing up at her obstacle. She frowned, her brother Scott frowning down at her sprawled out, hopeless form.
"Why don't you watch where you're going?" he demanded. She frowned up at him, shaking her head, as a "hello" buzzed from the other line of the phone. Scott shuffled past, decidedly ignoring his little half-sister, and jogging the rest of the way up the stairs. She could see her older sister, Miranda, watching her callously.
"Are you just going to sit there blocking the stairwell, or what?" the elder girl questioned, flipping a frizzy blonde strand of fried bleached hair over her shoulder.
"Puh-osh…" the voice in Katie's ear droned, "Puh-osh…"
"I'm going, jeez," Katie hissed to her sister, pulling herself up and rubbing her bruised rump. She limped away from the staircase towards the kitchen for food. Shifting the phone to her other ear, she shot a bug-eyed glare Miranda's direction as if to ask 'what?'. The blonde had chosen to follow her, somewhat like a puppy, or more like an annoying insect.
"Who's on the phone?" Miranda asked, "If it's someone for me, don't tell them I'm on the toilet constipated again. That wasn't funny. Jason never called me after that, and he gives me weird looks in the hallways at school now!"
There was a snicker on the other line, "You actually told Jason MacAfee that? Awesome!"
"It's one of my friends. Contrary to popular belief, there are people in this world that want to talk to me," Katie hissed, "Do you mind?" then turning her attention to the phone, "Yeah, dude, it was awesome. So what's going on in the Frank-N-Furter residence?"
Miranda rolled her eyes, crossing the room to open the pantry and shift around it for some cereal. She kept a fixated stare on Katie from the corner of her eye, as she poured herself a bowl, and began popping the dry pieces in her mouth, while leaning on the counter, and peering at the unopened newspaper, trying to appear as though she were scanning the headlines. But Katie knew better. Her sister didn't read the newspaper.
"Eh, you know…the same as always," came the chirped response, "My dad went on a rampage about something or the other I did or didn't do, then headed to work. My mom just left to drop baby brother off at soccer practice, and then she's spending the day at the club, and since I have the house to myself, I was thinking of blasting those CDs Dewey leant me and dancing around in my boxers. How's the Brady Bunch, Alice?"
"Sha-na-na-ing and getting happy all the way," Katie muttered, "Running into each other on the stairs and everything."
"What kind of loser name is Frank-N-Furter," Miranda commented, attempting a so-cal attitude, "Isn't he that guy that sits up front in my science class? The real nerdy one with thick glasses…that one that never washes his hair? Doesn't surprise me he's your friend…" then harshly mocking, "Or is he your boyfriend?"
"What's your sister talking about?"
"Like I know," Katie muttered, then glowering at Miranda, in a straight faced expression, she monotonously slicked, "That's exactly who it is. And you are so right, I am totally hot for Frank-N-Furter. The British accent turns me on…it turns me way on. And the whole transvestite thing," she puckered her lips at her disgusted sister, "Oh, yeah." There was uncontrolled laughter roaring in her ear and she couldn't help but smirk as Miranda shot her a dangerous look.
"You are such a bitch," Miranda growled, then shaking her head in confusion, "And that loser in my science class doesn't have a British accent."
"And you are such an idiot," Katie muttered, turning her attention back to the phone, breathing dramatically heavy, and jokingly gasping, "Zack, I'm having an uncultured moment! Losing…IQ…points…as…we…speak…"
"Zack?" Miranda's eyes bugged out, "As in Zack Mooneyham? You're talking to Zack Mooneyham?"
Katie narrowed her eyes to threatening slits. The fact her sister knew Zack was not a big deal, because most everyone at Horace Green knew him. It was the tone in her sister's voice that made her heart thud. That was the unmistakable squeal of Miranda speaking the name of a crush. It was not possible. Her blonde, bitch of an older sister could not have a crush on Zack. Miss Queen of the Pep Squad, Miss Extra-credit Assignment, Miss Straight-laced of the Preparatory Academy, could not have a crush on Katie's Zack. Well, he didn't exactly belong to her, but he was her friend, and he was definitely more hers than Miranda's.
"No, Zack Miller," Katie muttered sarcastically, trying to hide the harsh bitterness in her voice.
"The one man rock band?" Zack questioned in Katie's ear, having no idea what was going on. Katie snickered, shaking her head, running a hand through her hair. Miranda was staring at her blatantly now, and it was making her nervous. Please don't ask about Zack, please don't ask about Zack, she silently pleaded.
"Since when are you friends with anyone cool?" Miranda finally asked, examining her fingernails and chipped pink polish. Katie rolled her eyes.
"I'm not," she replied coyly, "This is Zack. He's a loser. Just like me."
"Hey!" Zack cried, mock hurt, "I can hear you, you know. And I do have feelings…"
"Shut up, Zack Attack," Katie laughed, and Miranda rolled her eyes.
"Alright, fine. Since when are you friends with Zack?" she pressed. Katie shook her head, moving towards the fridge for a drink. She pulled the orange juice out and headed towards the cupboard, "Tell me," Miranda persisted, in a low hiss, "Since when does Zack Mooneyham give a damn you exist?"
Katie lost the grip on the glass she'd grabbed, and it shattered to the ground. Her heart pounded madly in her chest, and tears sprung to her eyes. She turned to her sister, trying to fight back the anger and hurt wallowing in her chest and head, trying to think of a snide comeback, but her mind was swimming. He did care she existed. He'd said so himself. He didn't, however, care Miranda existed. That's right, she told herself, just keep going with that.
"Katie? Is everything okay? What's going on?" Zack's urgently concerned voice flooded the phone, "Katie? Katie, answer me!"
Taking a few steadying breaths, Katie whispered, "I'm fine, Zack."
"Shit, don't scare me like that," Zack sighed.
"You freak. What's your problem?" Miranda screeched, after getting over the initial shock of the breaking glass, "Jeez. You better clean that up before mom sees it! Those are her favorite dishes, you know! And you'll only upset her…"
"I've got it, alright?" Katie hissed, "Just go away!"
"This is my home, I don't have to go anywhere," Miranda responded snidely.
"So what…it's my home too," Katie muttered, searching beneath the sink for the dustpan, pushing her cell phone against her ear with her shoulder. Zack was silent, and she tried to discern if he were attempting to listen to her conversation with Miranda, or if he was trying to make himself scarce and not nosily pay attention to her conversation with Miranda. She didn't care, either way. She could feel him, on the other end of the line, and that was enough for her.
"It's more my home than yours," Miranda stated smugly, and Katie glanced wild-eyed over her shoulder, "After all," she continued, drawing her words out carefully so as to take advantage of the full affect of their painful meaning from the younger girl, "I have both my mom and dad here. And everybody loves me. I'm not unwanted, like you. I'm not a mistake."
Katie lowered her eyes. I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry. She took a deep breath, before clasping the dustpan and making her way to the shattered glass. She forced her face to stone, etched with an impassive frown. Her chest was convulsing, her lungs constricting, and it felt as though her throat were closed off. She wasn't getting air. I will not cry, she chanted, as she always did, and it always worked, I will not cry.
"Hey, Posh, what do you want to do today?" Zack's voice interrupted her thoughts, "I mean, we have band practice later, right…? But the rest of the day…we have to do something. I'm bored! Oh, did you ever hear from Summer."
"Yeah, that's actually why I called," Katie managed to choke out, and she saw Miranda turn up her nose and leave the room. The kitchen seemed brighter somehow, and her airway felt clear. She could breathe again, "I had to call Summer this morning. Can you believe she forgot that she was supposed to call me last night? But from the sound of things, the night was a little hellish. But…big news!"
"Better be the good kind…"
"Oh, it's the best kind! Summer broke up with Kyle," she exclaimed, then waited with a broad grin for Zack's reaction.
"What?" he gawked.
"Isn't it great?"
"But…when…how…what? She broke up with him?" Zack cried, "I mean…sheesh…then I guess this whole Battle of the Bands thing is off, huh?"
"Oh! I don't know," Katie murmured, "I probably should have asked about that…"
"Katie! Have you lost sight of what's important?"
"No," Katie moaned, then curiously, "What's important?" Zack gave an exasperated gasp.
"Beating Kyle at Battle of the Bands!" he shouted, "Jeez, Katie…"
"Oh…I'm sorry. For some odd reason, I had it in my head that keeping Summer as a friend was what was important. Silly me," Katie muttered sarcastically, tossing the broken pieces of glass into the trash can and heading to return the dustpan under the sink.
"Yeah…well…don't let it happen again," Zack joked, then in a serious tone, "It would be a major disappointment if I wasn't able to cream Kyle in the Battle of the Bands competition. Freddy and me are seriously ready to take those jerks on"
"You and Freddy are way too competitive," Katie commented, "Don't forget the music, alright? It's not about winning, it's about putting on a really great show."
"And sticking it to the Barber Boys," Zack insisted. Then, almost as a last minute thought, "Oh...and getting our manager back, too." Katie rolled her eyes, retrieving the OJ and rummaging for another glass. She poured herself some juice and placed the carton back into the fridge.
"I'm going to the mall with Summer," Katie said briskly, "Want to come?"
"Uh…I…no," Zack stammered, "I mean…you and her will be talking girl stuff…and you know…I'd rather not…"
"We're hitting the music store, and you can invite Freddy."
"I'll see if he wants to go," Zack piped excitedly, his tone quickly changing, "I want to get new strings for my guitar…oooh, a new songbook…and then there's that Fender…"
"Good-bye, Zack," Katie interrupted.
"Oh, yeah…see ya', Posh."
Katie hung the cell phone up, tucking it securely in her pocket, and drinking her juice. She turned and nearly ran into the hulking form of a tall, middle-aged, blonde man. He frowned down at her and she ducked her chin to her collar bone.
"Where are you going?" he demanded.
"Out," she answered quietly, "With friends." He snorted lightly, walking past into the kitchen, searching for breakfast.
"Have you done your chores?"
"I'll do them later," Katie whispered.
"Do them now. You know the rules…if you're going to live in this house then…" he trailed off as Katie's mother whisked into the kitchen.
"Oh, Katie, where are you going?" she asked.
"Out," Katie murmured, feeling very much like a broken record, "With friends."
"Oh, who?" the woman peered owlishly at Katie, and while she made no comment about her daughter "lacking a social life", her expression was evident that she was thinking that exact thing.
"Summer…Zack and Freddy might come too."
"Summer…Summer…you mean, Summer Hathaway?" her mother mulled, looking curiously at her. Katie nodded. "Oh. She's such a sweet girl. Remember, Hal, we met her at the Open House last year. She was in Miranda's math class…didn't she tutor Lydia for a short while?"
"Yeah, mom," Katie muttered.
"I didn't know you and Summer were friends," her mother went on, "You should have her over for dinner, she could get to know Miranda and Lydia. All of you girls could hang out and…"
"Pass, mom," Katie shook her head, quickly lying, "Summer wouldn't be into it, anyways. Her mom doesn't like her hanging out at friends' houses. She's real overprotective…pretty anal about those things."
"Oh, yes, I remember her mother too. I'm not surprised. But who are these boys? Zack…Freddy…"
"Zack Mooneyham. Freddy Jones. What's with the twenty questions?"
"You don't go out often. Can't I ask? Oh, Zack Mooneyham…he's a nice young man. I had brunch with his father the other day…Freddy Jones…erm…why does that sound familiar? Oh, Freddy Jones. Of the Jones family…"
"That would explain his last name, mom."
"Don't give your mother lip."
"Freddy, now he's a handsome young man," her mother wiggled an eyebrow, as though she knew a secret of Katie's. Katie shook her head, rolling her eyes, "Very attractive."
"Didn't Lydia mention something about him," Hal commented and Katie's mother nodded.
"She does have a huge thing for him, doesn't she?"
"So does every other girl at Horace Green," Katie muttered, taking a sip of her orange juice and trying to suppress the urge to run from her house, drive away, and never return. She thought about hiding out at Zack's house. He wouldn't mind, Mrs. Mooneyham loved her, and Katie simply adored Zack's baby brother, "Doesn't mean anything."
"Oh, come on, Kitty Kat, she's your sister," her mother hissed, playfully slapping her arm. Katie cringed at the baby name her mother often used under the assumption they were bonding or getting along like a normal family should. Hal looked disgusted as well. That was something Katie and him shared, even if they had no DNA in common. He could barely humor her mother's pretending that everything was fine as well. "Lydia has grown to be such a pretty girl," her mother went on, ignoring the looks, or simply not noticing them, "I'm sure she's much better a catch then any of the other girls who have their crushes on this little Freddy boy."
"You're right, mother. She's perfect for him. I hope she catches Freddy's attention, they date, and she lives as happily ever after as any of the other girls Freddy has taken out," Katie inflected cynically.
"Is that a hint of jealousy, I detect?" her mother chuckled, then taking her daughter's unwilling arm, "Is there something between you and this Freddy? Oh, sweetheart, do you have a crush on him?" Katie's eyes flew wide and she pulled away mortified.
"Mom," she gasped, "Don't make me sick! Freddy…oh god," she moaned, "He's Freddy." She shook her head, "Maybe when I was twelve…and naïve…but…oh, ugh!" She shook her head again, "Mom, you are so clueless. I'm going. I have to go pick Summer up."
"Alright. Good-bye," her mother chirruped, and as her daughter was leaving, "Oh, Katie, your chores, did you -"
The door slammed shut and Katie jogged down the walkway to her car. She slipped inside and sighed, leaning back into her seat and rubbing her hands over her face. Her phone rang, at her side and she fumbled to flip it open and grunt a greeting.
"It's too bad I didn't take that course in Neanderthal when it was offered," Zack teased in response, then in a more lighthearted serious tone, "Freddy's in. We'll meet you girls at the mall."
"Cool," Katie conceded.
"He was a little hard to convince. He nearly backed out until I mentioned you and Summer were coming…it was weird. I would have thought Summer being there would put him out of going. I wonder what's up with him. He's been acting really strange lately. You think maybe I should have told him that Summer broke up with Kyle?"
"No," Katie mumbled, "I probably shouldn't even have told you…it is Summer's news, it's a personal thing. I'll see you guys at the mall."
"Yeah. See ya'…uh…hey, Katie, you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"You know, what your sister said…"
"So, you were listening."
"She wasn't exactly discreet," Zack sighed, "If it ever becomes too much…you know…the parents, the siblings…I'm here. I just…you know…want you to know that."
"I do," Katie said softly, smiling and feeling a blush creep to her cheeks.
"We're all here, actually," Zack went on quietly, "I know it sounds stupid but…if they don't want to be your family, I'll be your family."
Katie grinned, taking a small moment to let his words sink in. Just having him say those kinds of things, just hearing his voice, was enough to wash away everything that had happened that morning, the night before, her entire life. She wanted to tell him that. To tell him he made everything better just being there, just by being. But she couldn't. The shy side of her took over with her sarcasm in overdrive.
"Okay. So…since we're family and all, can I tease you about how corny that sounded?" Katie joked, and Zack snickered lightly.
"Good-bye, Katie."
"Bye, bye, bro."
"Shut up…"
Katie tucked her phone into her back pocket, and tugged out her car keys. She rounded away from her house, and began down the road the same route she'd come to memorize after several morning and afternoon trips. She was surprised to find Summer waiting on the curb, but said nothing as the petite young woman slipped into the passenger seat beside her.
From appearance, Katie guessed Summer had rushed from the Hathaway house. She had quickly towel dried her hair, leaving it damp on her shoulders, and simply tugged on a faded pair of jeans and a wrinkled baby-tee. She hadn't even bothered with the light make-up that usually adorned her face. Katie tightened her grasp on the wheel. The break-up with Kyle must have been harder on Summer then she'd let on.
"How's it going, Tink?" Katie finally broke the silence, and Summer shrugged, a small, distant smile, finding its way to her face.
"Oh, fine," she answered, "You?"
"Great," Katie mouthed, pulling onto the main road and pulling to a stop at a red light. She tapped the wheel, licked her lips, and said, "Freddy and Zack are meeting us there."
"What?" Summer squeaked, "I can't!"
"Huh?" Katie turned, stunned by the strong reaction, "Why not? It's just Zack and Freddy…they're cool…they'll be fine. It'll just be us. No talk about all this 'Battle of the Bands' nonsense, none of that. We'll just hang out, like old times…"
"I just…I…well," Summer sputtered, then folding her hands in her lap, she concentrated on the taillight of the car in front of them, her lips pursed, "You tricked me," she accused.
"I…what? No…Summer…I talked to Zack before leaving the house…I mentioned we were going to the mall…and I thought it would be cool if he came and kicked it with us and…" Katie flustered, "Well…the only way he would come is if Freddy was there too, so he wasn't the only boy, and…" she trailed off, hands sweating. Now was the time, she realized, to put into effect their best friend relationship. She took a deep breath. Here goes nothing, "I like Zack."
There was a long silence, in which Summer's brow slowly drew together, trying to comprehend the statement, and her lips did a wonderfully amusing twitching act. Then her eyes widened, and her whole body tensed. She turned to Katie, as though trying to decide something, then an awkward, almost confused, smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.
"You…you…" but the words didn't seem capable of forming. Katie nodded stiffly, scared, glancing to Summer, trying to decipher the other girl's reaction. All of a sudden, a great squeal escaped Summer's throat. "Oh my god, Katie!" she cried, "You like Zack! As in…like, like? As in…crush like?" Katie nodded confirmation, meekly. Another squeal of excitement followed, in which Summer thrust her arms around Katie's neck, making driving a slight difficult, and the car veered somewhat to the right.
"Summer…Summer!" Katie squeaked, "I love you too, but could you not get us killed?" Summer pulled away, falling giddily back into her seat, her face red.
"I'm sorry…I'm just…wow…does he know?"
"Does he know?" Katie screeched, incredulous, "Of course not!"
"Why? You two are perfect for each other," Summer insisted, straightening, and pushing wild loose black strands of hair from her face. Katie flustered despite herself. She wouldn't say they were perfect for each other, but well in-tune with the nature of one another. Suddenly Summer's eyes widened once more, as an epiphany struck her, "So you invited Zack, because you like him?"
Katie took a deep breath, and nodded. That broad smile, and overzealous excitement of Summer's was infectious, Katie decided, as she herself was toothily grinning.
"But you can't tell him," Katie commanded, glancing to her friend worriedly, "And…you know…no playing matchmaker. No interfering…nothing! Please. And you can't tell anyone…" she paused a moment, taking another deep breath, "You're the only person that knows." Summer peered at her in wonderment. This was their first official 'best friend' secret. She nodded.
"Of course, Katie, I would never tell anybody," she agreed. Katie looked a great deal relieved.
"Great. Thanks, Tink."
"Best friends, right?" Summer pointed out, and Katie's smile widened somewhat as she nodded. Then a thought struck the smaller girl, "Zack is…well…Zack is really dense."
"That was…blunt…and kind of…mean," Katie stated, confused and stunned by the odd remark.
"Well," Summer persisted, a little exasperated, "What if he…never…picks up that you like him? Do you plan on telling him?" Katie flushed, pulling into the mall parking lot. She tapped the wheel nervously.
"No. I don't," she admitted sheepishly, pulling into a parking space, "I guess…I guess if he never figures it out, then…then…I'll invest in cats and die an old spinster."
"Oh, Katie."
"You think I'm being dramatic, but it's the truth."
"You? Being dramatic? Not possible," Summer muttered, and Katie killed the engine, turning to her friend.
"I'm serious, Summer. Zack's the first guy who's ever made me feel this way. I mean…hasn't a guy ever made you feel all sick and gushy and girly and lightheaded inside? Wait…what am I saying? You had Kyle."
"And he did make me feel all those things," Summer put in, then frowning, "But I really wouldn't want you to feel for Zack what I felt for Kyle."
"You going to tell me what that was? We never really had the chance to talk about your…ahem….feelings for Mister Emerson."
Summer ran her fingers through her hair, looking out the window and sighing.
"I felt something, that's for certain," Summer elucidated, "You know that feeling they describe in the movies? About being swept off your feet, feeling sky high, wanting to see and be with him all the time?" Katie nodded reluctantly. "Well, I didn't feel all those things. So I kept telling myself…it's not like in the movies. There's a reason those things are movies, and that they're labeled fiction…but…then…I started to feel those things for…" Summer shook her head, "It doesn't matter. Someone just made me realize that…well…the movies were right when it came to that feeling. It's something you're supposed to have, and I didn't have that for Kyle."
"Are you telling me there's a new boy that's caught your eye?" Katie smirked, "Tell me who."
"It's not important. It's nothing," Summer insisted, undoing her seatbelt and gripping the door handle, "It's nothing," she repeated, "It's completely ridiculous. It's a never-going-to-happen kind of…thing."
"Summer," Katie groaned, but the other girl was already stepping out of the car, so she sighed and followed suit. They began towards the mall side-by-side, "I wonder if the boys are here yet."
"Are you sure Fre…they…mind me coming?" Summer questioned nervously. Katie scrunched her nose, then slinked an arm around her friend's shoulders.
"I know Freddy has been a serious ass lately," she confided, "And he did pick you to zero in on with his bully tactics. But somehow I think his grump mood has more to do with something else entirely, and that you just got targeted because of recent bad decisions. "
"He's picking on me because I may possibly leave the band," Summer concluded and Katie nodded, then skeptically, "But he's not really angry at me, he's angry about something else."
"Sort of…yeah, I guess we'll go with that."
"Even though he is completely angry with me?" Summer pressed, "Seemingly nearly to the point of hating my guts?
"Okay, yeah, he is angry with you," Katie sighed, defeated, "But I bet he'll warm up a bit more, once he knows you broke up with Kyle."
"He does know," Summer muttered subconsciously, before slapping a hand over her mouth in realization, she hadn't meant to say that. Katie pulled away, a slight surprised.
"He does?" she questioned. Summer took a deep breath, winding through her head what to say. She had decided before leaving the house that nothing that had passed between Freddy and herself the night before would be revealed that day, or ever. That she would forget about it completely, and that she would never speak a word of it to anyone, including Katie. But now…now she would have to explain herself, and possibly talk about her dinner/make-out session with Freddy.
"Well…yes," Summer murmured.
"Oh, that would explain why he didn't mind coming to hang out with us," Katie said, cheerfully, "I should call Zack, find out where they are."
Summer nodded, waiting as her friend turned to make the phone call before breathing a sigh of relief. I'm not supposed to be thinking about Freddy, she thought, but now he's here. How am I not supposed to think about him, if he's going to be right in front of me! Or around me…or near me…or whatever!
You couldn't possibly of not thought about him the entire day, anyways, she sighed, admit it, you're happy he's going to be here. But don't make the mistake of assuming there's anything between the two of you. He just came because…because….why did he come?
Katie hung the phone up, slipping it back in her pocket, and looking bemusedly at Summer, "Three guesses as to where they are."
Momentary pause to think.
"Food court," they said in unison, rolling their eyes. Katie linked arms with Summer and they marched together into the large building.
Both girls were not heavy shoppers, and did not traverse the mall as often as other members of the School of Rock band. But they did, however, know the way to that large spacious nook surrounded by small vending counters. The area wafted with the aroma of Chinese food, hamburgers, pizza, corndogs, Philly cheese steak, ice cream, and was booming with the sounds of a little less than a hundred people ranging in age from sixty to newborn crammed in close quarters. Chairs scrapped, people yelled, a disgusting variety of fatty concoctions were shoved into wide open mouths, and the chatter never ceased. Summer cringed at the disorganization and lack of healthy eating, Katie shied from the noisy crowd of strange people. They chose to stand by the outer rim of the food court, near the Hotdog On A Stick counter where an annoyed looking young man in the usual red, yellow, and blue uniform stared disinterestedly their direction, while they scanned the crowd for the two boys.
"There they are," Katie called, pointedly looking through the crowd, and beginning to stumble her way towards the bar seats.
Summer's eyes quickly shot the direction Katie had indicated, and caught sight of a particular blonde spinning in a barstool. She blushed, her heart catching on its beat, and she felt her stomach drop. I can't do this, she realized. I can't face him. Not this way. Not when I don't know how I feel about him…or how he feels about me. He was grinning lopsidedly, chatting with Zack. They laughed about something, and he stopped spinning when Katie approached them. They looked to her with greeting, and then the boys' eyes trailed to where Summer stood, hands clasped in front of her, lips pursed, evidently scared. Katie and Zack began towards her, and for a moment, it was just Freddy and her, holding one another's gaze. He broke the connection, then, looking down and lifting himself up, trudging behind their two friends.
"Where did you want to go first?" Zack asked Katie, as they all stood semi-circle. Freddy took a stance behind the two, somewhat awkward, scratching his forehead. Summer studied her feet.
"Let's just walk," Katie suggested, "Hit whatever pops out at us first." They nodded agreement and began away from the noisy food court. Summer walked close to Katie, who was beside Zack. Freddy trailed behind.
"So…Summer," Zack started, "Um…how you been?"
"Fine," Summer answered carefully, looking perplexedly to Zack. That soft concern in his voice suggested he knew something. A guilty look crossed Katie's face, and Summer rolled her eyes. "You told him," she accused.
"Well…" Katie began, shamefaced, "Yeah."
"Told me what?" Zack asked, barely capable of holding the lie, and looking meekly towards Freddy, who didn't appear confused at all, but slightly disturbed. Summer shook her head.
"That I broke up with Kyle," she seethed, "Since we all know…"
"We all know?" Zack exclaimed, now blatantly staring wide-eyed at Freddy, as though preparing for some adverse side-effect of the news.
"Yes, we all know," Katie whispered roughly to the lead guitarist and he seemed embarrassed.
"Oh," he mouthed.
"Since we all know," Summer began again, clearing her throat rather loudly, "Can we not make a big deal about it?" They nodded and fell silent, walking aimlessly.
"Why did you break up with him?" Freddy asked, breaking the quiet with his first words to Summer since they'd arrived. She flushed, fighting the jitters and butterflies racing in her veins and stomach. It's just Freddy, she told herself, nothing to get worked up about. But she knew how wrong that thought was. He was everything to get worked up about.
"He lied to all of you," she stammered, though she'd practiced this excuse to the point she nearly believed that it was the entire truth, rather than just partial, herself. Then daring a peek back to the drummer, "And he lied to me about your fight. He led me to believe that you had started it for some ridiculous reason or the other, and frankly, I'm appalled at myself for being so gullible."
"Yeah, because we all know, Freddy has never started a fight for no reason whatsoever," Zack teased, and they all chuckled nervously. He was hoping to lighten the mood, but it only managed to point out how tense it really was.
"So you broke up with him because of us," Freddy continued. Summer paused, fighting the urge to blurt out, 'well, it was more because of you', then nodded, waiting for some snide or cruel comment to follow. Freddy simply shrugged, running a hand over the back of his neck, conceding, "That's cool." Everyone seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.
"Um…there's the record store…let's go browse," Katie suggested, crossing towards the small inlet. The other's followed and they immediately made their ways for the rock section, spreading out over the A all the way to the Z racks.
Katie stood near the end of the A-D's, picking up CDs that interested her, glancing them over and putting them back. Zack scanned the small aisle, standing back to have a full view of the entire rack. His lips were moving as though he were talking to himself, but nothing he seemed to be saying was audible.
Summer made her way to the back aisle, glancing over the few CDs available in the X-Y-Z area. She pondered on how few rock bands had names beginning with those letters. It was better, she decided, then thinking of Freddy. She chewed her inner cheek. But then, even as she thought that, she was thinking of him. She sighed, thankful that the high CD racks effectively blocked her view of her friends browsing the other aisles and slipped down to squat near the floor, her forehead resting in the palm of her hand.
Why was everything so complicated, Summer wondered. It was Kyle's fault. It had to be. Never had she thought such wild and lustful thoughts before she went out with Kyle. Before then, Freddy had been Freddy. Never had he been a boy capable of making out and dating. Of course she knew that he spent time with other girls, and she found that all very tasteless of him. But she'd chosen to be oblivious to that little fact. It was his personal life, and who was she to deliberate over it? Well…I am his friend, she told herself, I should care He did leave them, the band, often to spend time with young ladies. He did flirt quite a great deal, and she had called him on occasion for practice confirmation only for his phone to be answered by various groggy young women with seductive voices. She'd always hung up immediately on those occasions, and chose to assume that she'd dialed the wrong number, even if it was on speed dial. She'd always given him the benefit of the doubt. He didn't deserve it, she knew.
Maybe you were jealous all those times, Summer mused. Because you would never be one of those girls. He would never want you.
She bit into her tongue, a little too fast, a little too hard, and a metallic warm oozed into her mouth. She winced from the sudden stinging pain.
I never displayed any indications of jealousy, she silently argued, I could care less what girls he'd been with.
You wanted to be somebody a boy wanted. You wanted to be somebody Freddy wanted. Kyle asked you out, you said yes because you would never be someone Freddy wanted. So you gave in to somebody.
No. It was never about Freddy. I was never jealous of those girls, Summer told herself. I was never one of those girls.
But you are. And you were. Pining over the heartthrob blonde drummer, just like every other girl at Horace Green. Giving in to the spoiled rich boy, giving him exactly what he wants. You're both using each other. He's using you, you're using him.
I wouldn't do that, Summer tried convincing herself, but she was already trembling with the fear of uncertainty. Was it true? Had she used him? And if she'd used him…was she using all of them? But for what?
Suddenly, Summer was aware, she wasn't alone in that aisle anymore. The hair on her arms stood on end, as did the bristles on her neck. The warm pervading presence of another body, another form, another person invaded her senses. She glanced at this intruder in her once private domain, and frowned. Freddy stood slackly at the edge of the aisle examining the back of an old Yardbirds' CD. He deftly watched her from the corner of his eye. She folded her arms in her lap and focused her attention on the CD rack in front of her. Hm…Frank Zappa had a new album out? Nope, just a compilation of his old work.
"Did you get home okay?" Freddy finally asked. He had been itching to talk, and Summer fought the urge to flee. It was too much, being so near him, so alone with him. She thought of the night before, and her eyes clouded over. She could barely breath.
"Evidently. Thank you," she answered quietly, stiffly. Plastic cracked against plastic, as he slammed the CD back into place and turned abruptly to stare down at her.
"Summer, I…" he began, and she stood suddenly, grabbing the Zappa CD and marching, flustered, from the aisle.
"Katie, Zack, you should see this," she stutteringly called, all at once feeling completely awful as she left Freddy standing behind with his mouth hanging uselessly open. Their two companions startled, coming to where she was. Zack took the CD and gave it a once over before shrugging and handing it off to Katie.
"Have it," he explained before walking back to the aisles and his beloved world of rock music.
Katie raised an eyebrow, studying her friend with a careful gaze. Something was wrong, she discerned. Summer was shaking, subtly, her eyes were wide, and her face white. She was standing too rigid, too uncomfortably for things to be alright. And her eyes glistened, as though tears threatened to spill from them. Katie glanced over towards the direction Summer had come from and was surprised to find Freddy standing at the end of the last aisle watching them. He had his arms crossed over his chest, and was glaring more than anything, at Summer's back. Something was definitely wrong. But she didn't know what. And knowing her friends, she knew neither would tell her. So she slipped an arm over Summer's shoulder, leading her back towards the CD racks and chatting amiably about the albums she'd found.
Freddy shook his head, turning back to lean against the rack. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. What was he doing? What was he thinking? He shouldn't have come.
Want to go to the mall? Zack had asked and No had been Freddy's immediate answer. The mall equaled long, boring hours of endless shops. Why the hell Zack was asking him to go to the mall was beyond him. It made no sense as boys didn't usually just 'go to the mall'. Not to mention, Freddy had drank a little…well…a little for him, a party and a half for non-drinkers, a short while before. He'd polished off five more bottles of beer and then half a bottle of tequila through the middle of the night to morning. He'd needed a drink, but settled for a fountain.
Alright, that's cool, Zack had conceded, being stubborn had never been his strong suit, I'll just tell Katie her and Summer are on their own. I'll call them now. Later, dude.
Summer's going, Freddy had blurted out before he could catch himself. And Zack had confirmed it. Without taking the moment to consider why, Freddy had found himself quickly agreeing that he could use a little time out of the house and the mall seemed like a good a place as any to hang. So there he was, at the mall. Because Summer was going.
But why? Why? Why did it matter if Summer was going to be there?
Because…because…Freddy frowned. He didn't want to think about the answer. But he knew it. He knew it very well. He wanted to talk to her. That was it. But about what?
Making out.
He scowled. That had been a mistake.
But god, it was a good mistake. It was a really good mistake. It was the kind one would want to make repeatedly.
Summer had been drunk, Freddy realized sickly. A bottle of beer was hardly anything, half a bottle of beer was next to nothing, but of course, prim, proper, perfect Summer Hathaway could get drunk off a sip of beer. And only drunk, would she ever allow him to kiss her more than once. But even then, even completely wasted, she was still able to push him away. She could never be drunk enough to want him entirely. And she shouldn't want him. He'd known she was lightheaded and a bit tipsy. He'd taken advantage of it.
You'd find her at a weak moment, and take advantage of that. Freddy hated how much truth was actually in that statement. He hated to admit that Kyle was right. That he did go after things, merely because he didn't want anyone to have what he didn't. That he took advantage of girls. That he was a spoiled rich brat. And that all and all, he was a really bad person. He toyed with peoples' emotions, used people, for his own pleasure. How was Summer any different?
She made him feel.
She would smile at him, and for a moment, he was fooled into thinking that somebody - that she - cared about him. She would touch him, brush against his arm, slip her hand into his out of fear or need to be near someone, and he would feel wanted. And that night, the night before, when he had kissed her, it wasn't the same feeling he always had when he kissed a girl. He didn't feel as though he were a bad person, and that she was worse for letting him kiss her. It wasn't as he'd always imagined kissing the pristine Summer Hathaway to be, either. The thing that was dark inside of him, that thing that lurked in his heart, in his head, in his soul, did not creep out from within him into her, as he'd always thought it would. It did not seep into her clean, pure form and ruin her completely and utterly. She was not destroyed. It was almost the exact opposite. It was as though that goodness, that light that shined inside her eyes, had come into him, overwhelming him and that darkness. Perhaps, even beginning to purify him. For her, he thought….for her he could be that good boy.
Then she pushed him away. It hurt so much, feeling her hands press against his chest and force him off of her. He was rejected, suddenly washed with loneliness, and being unwanted. He was discarded, he was trash. He was still the bad boy, and she was still the good girl with her good boy. It was like he hadn't even touched her. He hadn't tainted her, as he always thought he would. He had simply further tainted himself.
But nothing compared that night, he knew, to when she'd slipped her arms around him, taking his trembling, broken form into her warm hold. And he felt it wasn't out of sympathy or pity that she'd taken him into her arms, as he would have normally felt in that situation. Rather, he felt…from her…he felt…loved.
Yes. Summer was different. She was so different, it scared him. Because those feelings she gave him, that she inspired within him, were so new, so alien, that he couldn't even comprehend them. They scared him witless, and he lost all airs of confidence, all of his charm, and it was all quickly replaced with anger and frustration because he was confused. Why did he feel so insecure, and so different around her? God, he wished he knew.
Or maybe he did know, and that too, scared him.
He needed to talk to her. He needed to ask her so many things. Even as he didn't know what they were. He needed answers from her. Answers he was afraid of.
And he wanted more than anything to just kiss her again.
"Freddy?" Zack's voice broke into his thoughts. He looked up, seeing his three friends standing at the entry way of the store, "You done?"
"Yeah," Freddy murmured, straightening, and shaking his head slightly. He caught sight of Summer, standing silently beside Katie, as though the taller girl was a centre of strength for the smaller. As though she offered some soft of protection from…from what? He smirked, casually running a hand through his hair and falling into step behind the three other teens. Why, him, of course.
They went to a clothing store next, where Katie and Summer made fun of the new fashions, involving short mini-skirts that neither girl would be caught dead in, and skimpy halter tops that Katie jokingly held up to Zack's chest. The guitarist blushed, noticeably, but put on a good show of humoring her. Then they entered the music store, where Freddy attempted to say something to Summer, who put on a grand display of crossing the store, accidentally knocking over a few music stands domino style in her rush, latched onto Katie's arm and dragged her back to the counter to point out some rubber picks. After hitting a few more stores, and Freddy making three more futile attempts at speaking with Summer, he got the hint. She didn't want to talk.
And nothing pissed him off more. She could not treat him this way. There was no way in hell he was going to let her turn her back on him. She couldn't make him feel the way he did, and then leave him with no explanation, no understanding, with nothing. You deserve more than you're giving yourself. That's what Dewey had said, and the old rocker had yet to lead Freddy or any of the other band members astray. He decided he deserved, at the very least, acknowledgement.
The book store was next on their list. Zack was eager to show Katie a book by Jimmy Buffett, and Summer, being the scholar she was, quickly skipped off, disappearing amongst the many shelves. Freddy was out-of-sorts in the store. Books were not his thing. But as he wandered aimlessly about, he caught Summer in between the science-fiction and the fantasy, sitting on the floor, several paperbacks littered about her. She had one opened in her lap and was quietly reading. He took a moment, to admire how endearingly beautiful she seemed. This was her element, after all.
Her hair had dried, and now fell wisp-like about her face. She sat cross legged, and her sneaker-ed foot tapped un-rhythmically against the floor to an unheard beat. Her tongue pressed against her upper lip, and she brought a hand up to delicately push the hair behind her ear, then flip the page. Freddy leaned against the book shelf, and folded his arms in front of him. She was in her own little world, and guiltily he knew, he had her trapped. He cleared his throat, and she looked up shocked. In a hasty shuffle to her feet, the book she was reading fluttered to the ground, and she made to run off, but found, her only exit was past him. She glanced behind her at the wall of books, like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming vehicle, and it was ironic, how moments ago she had been welcome in the company of those books only for them to suddenly betray her, becoming her prison.
"You're avoiding me," Freddy accused, and she looked down, defeated.
"Of course not…" she stammered, but she'd never been a great liar, and even now, her words faltered in credibility.
"Why won't you talk to me?" he demanded roughly. She shook her head.
"I have to find Katie," she quickly whispered, making to move past.
He caught a hold of her, and roughly pushed her, backside, against the book shelf, pinning her there with his right hand firmly on her waist, the other clutching the shelf beside her ear. He caught her lips with his own, having no idea as to what he was doing, moving on instinct, carnal desire alone. He flushed, aware how warm his body felt against hers.
She didn't move at first, which made him feel worse. He was taking advantage of her again. He was the bad boy, after all. Taking what he wanted with no regard to anyone else's feelings. But, god, did he want her to return that want, that desire, that kiss.
And then her small hands came up to cup his cheeks, pulling him closer down to her, deepening their intimacy. His heart leapt flippantly, and suddenly, he felt alive. A spark of hope flickered inside of him, where the emptiness of despondency had long since taken over, that perhaps he did deserve a great deal more than he was giving himself. Perhaps he did deserve a good girl. Daringly, he considered, perhaps he deserved her.
With regret, he pulled away suddenly, his other hand falling to rest on her waist, his forehead pressing against her own. His eyes were squeezed shut.
"Why are you doing this to me?" she whimpered, "What are we doing?" He didn't have an answer, so he simply pulled her closer, briefly brushing his lips against hers once more. Those questions, that he didn't know, lay on his tongue. He couldn't voice them, couldn't even figure out what they were. He wanted to say something, resting his cheek against her shoulder, but there was nothing to say. Nothing he could sort out in his mind. He was holding her, breathing her in once more, she was in his arms, there was no room for understanding and comprehension. For a moment, he let himself believe entirely, that he had her.
And then Summer's hands came to touch his face, pulling it up to look into her eyes. Something was in there, behind their soft brown glow. But he didn't know what it was, and because of that he was afraid. And then her fingers slipped around his neck, and laced there, drawing him down. She stood on tiptoe, her lips touching his, tentatively at first. It was a shy movement, so careful and powerful, that it was too slow for him to bare. So, he wrapped his arms about her waist, pulling her into him, and her own arms tangled around his neck.
His heart was pounding erratically in his chest. Their mouths were working against one another, pushing, pressing, nipping, testing, exploring. She tightened her grasp on him, he dragged her until she was braced against his chest, and was relying solely on him for balance, lest she fall over. It was too much, he felt as though he would burst with that outpour of emotion rushing from her small frame, he had to break away. Both were breathless, gasping in air, both feverish and lightheaded. He relaxed her against the bookshelf once more, laying his head in her neck and hair and shoulder. Her hands fell to grip his upper arms, curled in the fabric, and she lay her head back, licking her lips. They tasted of salt and him.
"What do you want from me?" she quietly asked, when she'd finally caught her breath.
"I wish I knew," he answered honestly, a hot blast on her skin. She shuddered, tracing the contour of his muscle from the bottom of his ear down his neck to where it disappeared into the collar of his shirt, with her finger. "What do you want from me?"
"I'm too scared to want to know," she whispered, "I can't face you…not like this…not with the possibilities…"
"So you are avoiding me."
"Yes."
Freddy pulled away gently, leaning against the bookshelf opposite her, and staring directly into her eyes. She chewed her lower lip, folding her now empty arms over her stomach, as tears squeezed from her lids and trekked down her cheeks, leaving twin stain trails behind.
"What are you afraid of, Summer?" he questioned harshly, barely able to hide the bitter in his voice. He could take a few unkind guesses as to what her answer would be.
"Hurting you." That was not one of them.
His eyes fell to the ground and, for a minute, he forgot to breath. But then, it wasn't as though he could, with the sudden pressure against his chest. What did she mean by that? Nobody was afraid of hurting him. Nobody thought they could hurt him. Nobody cared if they hurt him.
"What if what I think I feel…is completely wrong?" Summer went on softly, "What if…what if my intentions are not what I think they are? That they're actually really awful? What if…"
"You screw up?" he looked back up to meet her eyes and it was her turn to look down.
"What if I already have?"
Freddy drew in his breath, focusing wholly on her.
"Summer, we care…" he paused, took another deep breath, and a step forward, his voice dropping to just below a whisper, "I care too much about you for any of that to matter. You're driving me insane, Summer, and I don't know why. You're in my head, you're all I can think about and…goddamn it." He lost it, the nerve, as he fell back against the bookshelf. He was certain he knew what to say, but then he'd just…lost it. "You know, it's ironic," she peered curiously up at him, "You're the first person I've ever wanted to say how I really feel to…and I don't know how."
"I know what you mean," Summer sighed, "Except it's not that I don't know how…it's that I don't know if I can." She lowered her head, looking up at him through her lashes, her voice breaking into a soft quaver, "Am I like those other girls? The ones that like you and don't even know you…the ones you play…the ones that throw themselves at you…I don't want to be like them…I don't…"
"You're not, Summer," he cried, reaching out to pull her forward into his arms once more. She buried her face in his chest, hot tears seeping through his shirt. He rubbed her back soothingly, brushing her hair from her face, "You're not like them. Not to me, you're not."
"Are we…are we…using each other?" she choked out and something similar to fear gripped Freddy's heart. He trailed his fingers along her spine, deep in thought.
"I don't know, Summer…I don't know."
A/N: Uh huh...more making out on Summer/Freddy's part. Fun. From what I know of kissing and making out, once you start, it's kind of hard to stop. Because of this chapter, I've put 'book store' on my 'Places To Make-Out At' list. Yeah...
In this chapter: We got to see why Summer broke up with Kyle and her thoughts on the matter, Freddy's feelings on the make-out session with Summer at his house, Katie/Zack interaction, and...oh, a little Summer/Katie friendship interaction (if it seems a little weird, keep in mind, they are each other's first official best friends), and...I can't think of anything else.
Does anyone know who the Yardbirds are? I was looking for some band names that would feet in the X-Y-Z section, and I found the Yardbirds. I was like, "Dude, they're bandname is so frelling awesome, I have to reference them in this chapter". So...I did. I think I'll look them up, see if I know any of their songs or if they have any good songs out...hm...and Frank Zappa! His daughters have the weirdest names. Moon Unit and Diva Zappa. Sheesh...and Alice Cooper, his daugher's name is Calico. I should really stop watching so much VH1...
One last thing: Phish Food is writing a really awesome fanfic entitled "Should I Stay or Should I Go". Really it was the inspiration that started this story, and I kind of took a few leaves from her book when it came to the characterization of Freddy, Summer, Dewey (sort of), a little on Katie and Zack as well. But anyways. She mentioned to me (in a review) that she planned on finishing the story (which totally has me psyched). If you haven't read it, I really recommend you do (because it's soooo totally awesome and powerful), and I think she may need a little more motivation to finish it. So could you all go review her story for me and bug her to finish it? Tell her SD sent you, if you want, but just beg and plead with her to hurry up and update it!
Oh, and you know what, because it got deleted with my story the first time: sweetcaroline's "Mr. & Mrs. Jones". Read it. Review it. That's all I'm saying to that matter.
Okay, before I get in trouble for long A/N. Please excuse any grammatical and typing errors. Please REVIEW!
And, Thanks for Reading, ya'll. Peace and nachos! This rocker is out.