----------------------HAVING A BLAST----------------------
"So I says to the mayor, 'mayor', I says!" Michael said again. The group of girls giggled yet again.
"Oh, Michael, you're so funny," one of them said.
Michael puffed out his chest. "I know." Then he said the mayor thing again.
"Enough with the damn mayor already!" said Sawyer irritably.
"Hey, I thought the Other Others kidnapped you!" said Michael.
"No, they didn't want me." he sniffled, then began to sob. "I wasn't incredibly sexy enough for Ebay."
"That's too bad," said Michael.
"I think you're incredibly sexy, Sawyer," said Jin, desperate for some attention from the camera. Michael and Sawyer looked at him. Jin's face reddened.
"Never mind," he said.
MEANWHILE, ON THE BEACH...
Claire plucked the wrong string once more. "Darn it!" she said.
"It's all right, Claire," said Charlie, whose ears were aching from Claire's bad guitar playing.
"Oh, Charlie. You play." said Claire, handing him back his guitar.
"All right," he said. "This one's going out to a little lady named Claire." he smiled at her. She smiled back.
"The farmer in the dell, the farmer in the dell..."
Aaron began to cry.
"Well, I'd like to see you try, TURNIP HEAD!" Charlie said.
Aaron continued to cry.
"Make him stop crying, Charlie!" Claire cried.
"No." said Charlie stubbornly, crossing his arms. "He insulted me."
"He's only a baby, Charlie! Please, make him stop crying!"
Charlie sighed. "Oh, all right." he said. He picked up the baby and began to make faces.
"Who's a stinky little turnip head?" Charlie said in a babyish voice. "Who won't keep his mouth shut?"
Aaron cried louder.
Claire was bent over a box, looking for something. She stood up. "Charlie, we're all out of mangos."
"I suppose I should go get some?"
"Yes, please."
Charlie handed Aaron back to Claire. He set off into the jungle.
"Hey, Claire?"
"Yeah?"
"What's a mango?"
"I don't know. But it says right here in the script for me to say 'Charlie, we're out of mangos'."
"Oh," said Charlie. "Well, if the script says so..." He set off again.
WHILE OUT IN THE JUNGLE...
As they walked, Hurley whistled "Tiptoe Through The Tulips", Locke looked up at the sky every now and again and said, "Yup, any minute now.", and Jack pestered Kate.
"So what's it like? Killing someone?" Jack pestered.
"Eh, it's all right. Robbing a bank is a lot more fun, though." Kate replied. "Hey, guys?" she said to the group at large. "How come we're still in the jungle? Didn't we already blow the door off the hatch?"
"Yeah!" said Locke. "Let's go back to the hatch and see who's stupid enough to climb down there and see what it is!"
"Sounds like a plan to me," said Jack. "And since I'm the doctor," he looked around, making sure everyone was paying attention to him. "what I say is best."
Hurley snorted. He continued to whistle "Tiptoe Through The Tulips".
Jack glared at him. "What was that, Hugo?"
"Nothing." said Hurley.
Jack advanced on him. "YOU'RE INSULTING MY MEDICAL TRAINING!" Jack yelled. He turned around and pointed at Hurley. "KATE! Make him stop!"
"Hurley, stop insulting Jack's medical training." said Kate, not really paying attention.
Locke cleared his throat, looked up at the sky, and said, "Yup, any minute now."
"What are you going on about?" Hurley said to him. Jack crossed his arms and made a pouty face. "Oh, grow up," said Hurley to Jack, who replied by sticking his tongue out at him.
"Yup, any minute now." said Locke again.
"Can we please get over to the hatch already?" said Kate irritably.
"Yes, let's," said Locke. He looked at the sky again. Kate, Jack, and Hurley joined him in saying, "Yup, any minute now."
MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE CAVES...
Sun approached Claire, who was rocking her baby. "How's Pumpkin Head?" asked Sun cheerfully.
Claire glared at her. "It's Turnip Head. Geez, Sun. Get your vegetables right."
Sun looked up at the sky and said, "Yup, any minute now."
Claire looked skyward, too. "What's going to happen any minute now?"
Sun didn't respond. She just gazed at the heavens once more and said, "Yup, any minute now."
Claire stood up and patted baby Aaron's big turnip head. She looked up at the sky and repeated Sun: "Yup, any minute now."
WHILE IN THE JUNGLE...
"Damn it! What does a ruddy mango look like, anyway?" Charlie said to himself. He gazed at the treetops, as if a sign would point him in the right direction.
And who should rear their ugly head once more but...
THE GHOST OF ARZT!
"Charlie," The Ghost Of Arzt moaned. "Charlie..."
Charlie replied to this with, "That's my name, don't wear it out."
The Ghost Of Arzt made a face. "Hey, Sunny Jim. Don't you get fresh with me or I'll send you straight to your room."
Charlie stuck out his chin. "Uh-uh. You aren't my mommy."
"I AM TOO!" The Ghost Of Arzt hollered. "NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Charlie covered his face with his hands and ran off, crying. He yelled back, "Mommy?"
"What?"
"Where's my room?"
The Ghost Of Arzt looked around. "I don't know. Just go somewhere."
WHILE OUT ON THE RAFT...
"Four thousand, nine hundred and fifty-seven bottles of beer on the wall, four thousand, nine hundred and fifty-seven bottles of beer..."
Sawyer had been singing for three hours straight and Jin wished Sawyer's gun hadn't sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Otherwise he would have shot either Sawyer or himself.
Preferably, himself, because Michael would not shut up about the mayor.
"You know," said Jin through gritted teeth. "Could you switch catch phrases for a while and stop talking about the dentist?"
Michael made a face, but he said, "So I says to the plastic surgeon..."
Jin smacked his forehead and wished he hadn't said anything.
A/N: I know this wasn't my best work, but I told you, I've been really busy. If you want to hear more I'll write another chapter. Maybe that'll be better than this, seeing as school will be over soon. :)