A/n: Hey, another chapter! Please R/R! Is probably going to be fluffy. Geez, sorry this is taking so long. Oh, and btw, THIS DOES NOT FOLLOW OOTP!!!!

Chapter 3

After a week of tension almost too much to bear, they would finally get the chance to get everything off their chests. Remus was in his room changing when Sirius accidentally opened it.

Sirius's eyes grew wide and he said, "Oh! I'm so sorry," and was about to close the door and leave when Remus said, somewhat curtly, "Don't worry about it. It's nothing you haven't seen before." Sirius had seen him not fully clothed many times.

"It's not that, it's just… it's just…" Sirius couldn't say it. It's you, he thought. It's you. You're the reason I'm so uncomfortable right now, and have been all week. Now why can't I just tell you that? I have to, or it'll kill me. Just like it was back at Hogwarts.

"It's just what?" Remus asked.

"It's just…" Sirius began. "Nothing." He finished, lying. "It's nothing."

"Ok." Remus said, not believing him.

"Ok, Remus, so I was lying." Remus looked at him. "I want to talk about us."

"Us?" Remus said, as he put on an unbuttoned button-up shirt. "There hasn't been an 'us' for 13 years."

"Exactly." Sirius said, walking closer to him. "That's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about."

"There's nothing to talk about." Remus lied.

"You're wrong." Sirius said. "I want to be with you. I need to be with you. I love you."

Remus sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. "Oh, god, Sirius. Don't do this to me again."

"Do what? What happened was not my fault."

"I know that."

"Then what's the problem!"

"Oh, god, Sirius. Do you know how many endless nights I spent crying about you?"

"Probably just as much as I spent crying about you."

"Oh, Sirius. I love you. I've always loved you. I never stopped. But I can't stand feeling like that again. It's too much for me too bare. I know it wasn't your fault, but it still hurts. I gave you my heart and you tore it apart without meaning to. I love you so much that it's so easy for you to hurt me. I was afraid of this from the beginning."

"You're right." Sirius said, taking a step forward. "So was I. But all that doesn't matter. Whenever I'm with you it seems like the whole is in a standstill. I love you. I always have and I always will. Don't you understand that?"

He reached out to touch him, but when he did, Remus jerked his arm out of the way and said, "Don't touch me."

Sirius looked at Remus in wonder. "Did I hurt you that much?"

"No," Remus said, "it's just that… when you touch me… I can't seem to say no to you."

Sirius walked over to him and put his arms around him. "That's what I want."

Remus stepped out of his embrace. "Sirius, you don't understand."

"I think I understand perfectly well." Sirius said. "You're scared. Just like you were when we first got together. Remember?"

Remus sighed. "Yes, I remember."

"Remus… you can't deny us. You couldn't then, you can't now." Sirius said, getting even closer to him.

Remus tried to avoid him, but to no avail. Sirius grabbed him around his waist and kissed him. Remus's body tensed at first, but very soon relaxed to enjoy the kiss.

When Sirius broke the kiss, he kept Remus in his arms and said, "How can our kisses feel like that, but you deny everything?"

Remus lowered his head and began to sob. Sirius lifted up his head and kissed him again, love and concern in his eyes. "Whatever happened, Remus, I had nothing to do with. If I could go back and change all the hurt that I've brought you and all your hurt, even your transformations, I would." Sirius began ran his thumb along the edge of Remus's cheekbone and said, "I hate seeing you hurt. I wish I could take all your pain away forever."

"But you can't." Remus said, no longer sobbing.

"I know," said Sirius. "But how I wish I could. You're my everything, my love. When you hurt, I hurt. We are one. Without you, I am not whole. When we're apart, I feel empty."

Remus began to cry. Not out of sadness, though. When Sirius was like this, he always made him cry. Sirius cupped his face in his hands, and kissed him. He then slid that hand down Remus's back, enjoying the passion that ignited when they touched and when they kissed.

Remus looked up into Sirius's eyes when he broke the kiss. He put his arms around his neck and just leaned into him. Sirius lifted up his chin and kissed him passionately.

I can't keep fighting him anymore. Fighting these feelings that I am unable to deny. And when we touch… and when we kiss…what am I supposed to do? Remus thought. I can't keep fighting. I love him… he loves me… but my heart can only be broken so many times. But he does love me…Oh, why am I even debating! I know what will happen. I know him. He knows me. I will give into him eventually… and he knows it. So why stop it? And with that, he fought no more.

Why is he fighting me? Fighting us? Fighting the feelings I know he holds in his heart for me. Sirius thought. He can't fight forever. We love each other… we always have… this is true love. How can he deny what everyone yearns for? I learned long ago that was impossible… although how I tried to believe it wasn't. He will give in eventually. I know it. I know him. In the end, his heart and soul and body and one part of his mind will triumph over the part of his mind that denies it and seeks seclusion from love and emotional attachments. You can't fight love… no one can… it's inevitable. He can't. I know it…I know it…

Then Sirius found that Remus was no longer fighting. Remus (who had his hands around Sirius's neck) leaned back and deepened the kiss. This pleased Sirius greatly. He had been right.

Remus slid his hands down Sirius's back enjoying the sensation he always got when he and Sirius touched or kissed. Remus then started to move Sirius' shirt (his robe had come off when he had arrived) up and down his back as he rubbed his hand over Sirius's back He then moved his hand to front of Sirius's shirt, and ran his hand along the collar and began to tug on it, and was about to take it off.

This startled Sirius. He broke the kiss and said, "Since when have you been so aggressive?" In the old days, Remus would not push such matters. Sirius always took off his shirt eventually. I mean, what is making love with your shirt on? But now, unlike then, Remus wasn't going to wait. He waited over 13 years. He had waited long enough.

Remus blushed at Sirius's remark. "Well… things change."

Sirius smiled. "Yes, they do. They do."

Sirius practically tore off his shirt.

Then, Sirius – who had moved his hands around Remus' waist – slowly moved them up his back, igniting more of the passion that was always so evident with him and Remus. He then slowly brought one of his hands around to the collar of Remus' shirt (he had never buttoned it up) and slid it off and threw it across the room, Remus never tensing up.

Sirius moved Remus slowly towards the bed. He slid his hands towards the front of Remus' pants, and removed them. (With Remus' help and cooperation, of course.) He pushed Remus on the bed. This reminded him so much of the first night they truly made love, many years ago, when James and Lily were still alive.

Throwing unpleasant thoughts out of his head and concentrating on the moment, he removed his clothes, and got on the bed. Remus had moved up near the pillows to be more comfortable.

Sirius removed Remus' boxers, and they made love until they were too tired to go on. Then they just lie down and fell asleep in each other's arms, and woke up there, in the same position, the next morning.

In the morning, Remus woke up right next to Sirius. He could still not believe that last night had happened. I was stupid to even deny my feelings, he thought. We both knew that nothing could ever change. I mean, he can stop loving me, but I can never stop loving him. Werewolves mate for life. I chose Sirius for my mate, and I can't choose any other.

Eventually Remus felt the once sleeping form of his lover stirring in the bed next to him. Remus turned over, smiling. "Good morning, love."

"Morning, darling." Sirius greeted. "What's the time?"

"Who cares?"

"Good point."

Remus snuggled into Sirius and sighed.

"I missed this so much, love." Sirius said.

"What?" Remus asked. "Making love with me?"

"Well, yes, of course, but also, just laying here with you." Sirius said. "Just holding you in my arms."

"I missed it, too, Sirius." Remus said. "Both of them. I used to dream about them."

"Me, too," said Sirius. "But not a lot." He said, his tone becoming dark. "I never have good dreams anymore. I don't dream at all anymore." Remus didn't have to ask what Sirius was talking about. Sirius had nightmares, and Remus knew it.

Remus kissed him, and tried to think of something to change the subject. Then he thought of something: food. "Hey, love, you hungry?"

"Hungry?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah, hungry, you know, food."

Sirius glared playfully at him. "Yes, I know that, I was just wondering how you could food at a time like this?"

Remus smiled. "Aren't I supposed to be asking you that question?"

Sirius laughed softly. "True… I guess I am."

"Alright then, let's go." Remus said. "Get dressed."

They got dressed and then walked down into the kitchen. Remus began to make breakfast, and Sirius sat down and watched. Then a thought occurred to him. "You know?" he said. "Isn't this how the morning after the first night we made love started?"

Remus smiled, and then started to laugh softly. "You're right. I didn't even realize…"

Sirius smiled back. "Just an interesting thought…"

"Yeah…" Remus said. "Doesn't that say something about us?"

"What?" Sirius asked.

"We're set in our ways."

Sirius smiled again, and said, "When you get to our age, I think you are already."

"'Our age?'" Remus repeated. "You make it sound like we're old men."

Sirius laughed his first true laugh in a long time. "I feel like one sometimes." He said.

"Well don't bring that feeling on me. I feel tired enough as it is." Remus said, a wide smile on his face.

Sirius sighed. "I miss this."

"Don't dwell on the past, Sirius." Remus said. "Please, not now. We don't need that."

"No we don't." Sirius agreed, but the sad, haunted look remained on his face. Remus noticed and became worried.

"Sirius?" He asked.

Sirius looked up and acknowledged his presence, but said nothing, and then put his head back down.

Remus stopped what he was doing, and pulled up a chair in front of Sirius, who was sitting sideways. He put his hands on Sirius' legs and stared into his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Everything I have is in the past." Sirius said, tears threatening to spill. "Lily… James-"

"I'm not." Remus said.

Sirius looked up at him.

"I'm right now, in the present." Remus said. "Harry's in the present. You have more than you think you do."

Sirius smiled serenly and sadly, and put a hand on the side of Remus's face. "I didn't to forget you or Harry. You're the most important things to me."

"I know." Remus said, and he put a hand on the hand that Sirius had on his face. "Don't dwell on the past, Sirius; it only brings you heartache and pain. Focus on what little good you have: Me and Harry… Don't forget that. Hold on that."

Sirius smiled into a look of seriousness. "I do." He said. "Believe me. You two are the only things that keep me going sometimes. Just knowing that you are alive and alright..." The tears started spilling down Sirius's face. Remus shushed him sweetly.

"Sirius, don't be sad. Please, don't be sad. I hate to see you sad. It breaks me heart." Remus said.

Sirius's breathing became uneasy with his tears. "I've lost so much… my freedom… my name… everything." Then he smiled, despite the tears, and said, "Almost everything. It's so hard to go on sometimes." The tears became harder, and Sirius broke down for one of the very few times in his life. The first had been when he had found out that his father had died. The second: at his father's funeral. And the last time had been after a few days in Azkaban. Sirius had such a strong demeanor, but the strong could not be strong all the time. Everyone has their moments of weakness.

Remus gathered Sirius in his arms, and rocked him back and forth, shushing him and telling him that everything would be alright. He felt so bad for him. Sirius had so much heartache, he had lost so much. What could Remus say? What could he do? The answer: Nothing. All he could was be there, and hope slowly, little by little, he could the long-standing wounds on Sirius's heart and soul made by Azkaban. Harry would help there, too.

Sirius' crying calmed, and Remus let him go. He gave him a sweet smile, and then got the food. (He had finished right when he had gone to Sirius." "It's still warm." He said. Sirius took it gratefully.

"Thank you." He said.

"Your welcome." Remus said, smiling once again.

They ate in silence, and as Remus cleaned up, the silence reigned. When he finished, he took Sirius by the hand, and led him into the living room, and they sat down on the couch facing one another. Remus put his hands on either side of Sirius' face and said, "You don't have to be strong for me."

"I know." He said. "But, I don't like feeling weak and vulnerable."

"You think I do?" Remus said. "I hate it. You know, you are the only person that has ever been able to make feel so emotional. I've always had this wall that built up around me to keep me from feeling too much, because of my condition, so I wouldn't get too attached to people. And then-"

Sirius interrupted him with a wide smile on his face. "-and then I come along and crash your wall to bits."

Remus laughed. "Yes, that you did." Remus just kept laughing, and, as he was laughing, Sirius just couldn't help it. He started laughing, too. I guess laughing really is contagious. Remus' hands feel down off of Sirius' face and they just enjoyed laughing for a while. When the laughing subsided, Sirius was visibly happier.

"I love hearing you laugh." Remus said.

"Same goes for me." Sirius said, grabbing Remus around his waist, and pulling him into him. Remus laughed and giggled, and then readjusted himself so he was more comfortable, and put his hands on Sirius'. Sirius kissed him, and the leaned back. They just feel asleep there in each other's arms.

A/n: Well, hope you enjoyed it. Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. Sad, I know. Hopefully from here on I make the updates more frequent. Almost 3000 words! Wow!