5
The white and black-trimmed mansion known as Olympia suddenly spilled forward with two hundred beautiful women pouring from its front doors. Reese Witherspoon hit the gas of her red jaguar trying to get away and rolled over the toes of the red-headed Titaness looming over her. Her jaguar flipped over and she raced away between her friends and comrades scattering to the neighborhood beyond their gated community. Markie Post jumped out of the way of the plate glass window in the foyer shattering. Jessica Alba pulled Alyssa Milano from the giant hand reaching into the structure. The roof groaned from weight atop it and the third floor attic vanished under crushed roof beams and shattered support beams. Anna Faris began screaming her head off as she felt herself lifted up by giant fingers, tossed up into the air like a peanut and dropped into the gullet of the cannibal goddess attacking the mansion.
"Scooby Doo!" Shaggy's voice cried out. "Where are you!"
"Raggy!" Scooby looked round while Crystal Bernard and Cheryl Ladd tumbled over the Great Dane stopping before them. The front of the house was being ripped off by Daphne's starving clone. Drew Barrymore clutched at the banister of the stairway to keep from being lifted up but instead felt herself pulled away from it and lifted up out of sight. There was a gulp, a swallow and then the return of two giant hands scoping out the mansion interior.
"It's times like this I wish we really were witches." Holly Marie Combs turned to Robin Tunney.
"I wish you were witches too!" Fred screamed over the sounds of the crunching mansion, female cries of terror and panic and rushing bare feet on the parquet floor.
"We're not witches?" Melissa Joan Hart wondered why her incantations weren't working then found herself lifted up off her feet by giant fingers. A twenty-five year old Liz Montgomery rushed to save her, but instead had to be rescued herself by actress Beverley Owen and a twenty-something Jane Leeves.
"This way!" Raven Simone and Lynsey Bartilson pushed Fred and Velma to the garage on the estate. The second floor was now caving in and plaster walls cracked as Giant Daphne cracked the once opulent mansion apart at the seams. Lindsay Lohan ducked under a fallen floor beam ahead of Shaggy. Scooby Doo was rushing up beside actresses Renee O'Connor, Jaclyn Smith and Britney Spears. Reunited with Scooby, they saw the Knight Industries Two Thousand from the TV series Knight rider being driven away with Kristy Swanson at the wheel. Alicia Silverstone jumped into the Batmobile parked in the garage of classic cars trying to get away. Between Herbie the Love Bug and the Munsters Coach, the Mystery Machine sat pinned down by a section of ceiling.
"Out of the way, Buffy!" Fred pushed Sara Michelle Gellar out of the driver's seat. "I drive!"
"My name is..." Gellar cried and found herself pushed over the seat by Daphne and Velma.
"I hated your show!" Daphne squeezed next to Fred. Turning over the engine, Fred watched as Lohan and Duff evacuated under the legs of the giant Daphne tearing the house apart. The tires started spinning under the Mystery Machine as the weight of the second floor prevented it from moving. Debbe Dunning bolted out of their way for the Tool Time van. Looking out the back windows, Scooby and Shaggy were joined by Ali Larter and Brigitte Wilson saw Kate Winslet in another classic car. Hitting the gas and trying to push them out of the way, Kate was pushing against them with that magic motor car Chitty Chitty Bang Bang . Mila Kunis and a very twenty-something Erin Moran jumped into the seats with her as Fred continued gunning the engine. The garage entrance was gradually collapsing. There was a crunch of wood, a squeal of tires and the Mystery Machine suddenly lurched forward and launched forward.
"Here we go!" Fred screamed in victory, but as the roof of the Mystery Machine grazed the top of the garage entrance, the wheels suddenly left the ground and was hoisted up into the air. Velma looked out at the windows as Giant Daphne's body passed up before them.
"We're going to die!" Gellar screamed and Daphne punched her out.
"I can't believe I'm back here!" Fred recalled being in another Mystery Machine in this same predicament hours earlier. "Strap yourselves in!" The engine cut out while the van started tilting back and Ali and Brigitte held on tight in back. The back popped open and Gellar tumbled out, bounced off Giant Daphne's left breast and landed in a tree. Scooby stretched out over the back of the van's four corners and looked down below. Down below them, the giant clone opened her mouth wide.
"Shaggy, hold on!" Velma screamed clutching her seat.
"I can't!" Shaggy's fingers slipped from the back of the front seat. Tumbling past the two actresses, he knocked Scooby out of the way and began falling. Giant Daphne opened her mouth wide ready to swallow the skinny amateur detective clutching his dog for solace. There was a sound of something in the air, and Shaggy and Scooby were suddenly jerked through the air. They opened their frightened eyes and found themselves in the arms of a webbed wall-crawler descending to the ground with them.
"Are you guys okay?" The voice of Tobey McGuire came from behind the mask of the man in the Spiderman costume.
"Spiderman!" Shaggy and Scooby screamed idol-struck.
Garbed as Superman, Dean Cain tore the Mystery Machine from the hands of the giant clone and delivered it to safety. Growling at the intervention, Giant Daphne reached out again and felt her wrist restrained by Lynda Carter's magic lasso. Velma looked out wondering what was happening and saw the star-spangled actress once more playing Wonder Woman and coming to their rescue. The Michael Keaton Batman restrained the giantess's other arm with bat-rope to the mansion.
"Okay, this is officially the weirdest mystery we've ever had!" She reacted stunned and awe-struck. Giant Daphne quickly began throwing the two heroes around like toys. A living CGI Hulk leapt to the air trying to knock her over while James Marsden as the X-Man Cyclops blasted her several times with eye beams.
"I think we're in one of Nick's crazy daydreams!" Daphne looked out over Velma's shoulder.
"Scott!" Nicole Kidman as the red-haired X-Man Jean Grey screamed as the giant redhead clutched her up. Dean Cain used his Kryptonian power to hit Giant Daphne with a section of train track and then rushed the rescue the redhead. Brian Austin Green blasted into the scene as the Human Torch trying to stop the giantess. Knocked out of the sky in Iron Man Armor, Tom Selleck replaced his helmet and rocketed off again to save the actresses fleeing the mansion.
"Daphne, that's it!" Velma deduced the last of what was happening. "If my guess is right, we never left the school..."
Tyler Mane as Thor rescued Calista Flockhart from the giant clone. Britney Spears and Jane Leeves were rushed to safety by John Wesley Shipp reprising his TV role as the Flash. Cast in the adventure as the hero Green Lantern, Dylan McDermott used energy-created restraints to try containing the redheaded giantess. Back again as Daredevil, Ben Affleck rescued Jennifer Lopez from the collapsing mansion.
"I think we are in some sort of chamber created out the gym of our old school to create incredible holograms." Velma continued as Fred left the van to check the engine. "Everything here is computer-generated like some sort of Star Trek holodeck. That's the only way to explain the incredible illusions being created for us. Everything here has been created from Nick's imagination!"
"Okay, sugar..." Carmen Electra was a different Rogue for the X-Men. Using her powers, she tried clutching the leg of the giant Daphne and forcing herself to gain the giant redhead's power and stature. She only reached ten feet tall before a green-skinned version of obscure actress Roberta Vasquez in the form of the heroine known as the She Hulk had to rescue her. Kevin Sorbo as Hercules swatted the giant once more with an uprooted tree while a living CGI Fantastic Four hero known as the Thing launched himself with the Hulk to help Dean Cain as Superman. On the ground, Hugh Jackman sprouted Wolverine claws and slashed at the giantess trying to cut her tendons.
"Incredible deduction, Velma." Nick Danvers emerged from the shrubbery for the Mystery Machine. Garbed as Indiana Jones, he sent Ali and Brigitte off to safety and stood safe and unharmed from his friends. "What are you guys doing here?"
"Nick!" Fred turned around to face him. "Do you know what sort of things we've been through?"
"Well, it shouldn't be nothing like the trouble I've had trying to turn off my simulations." Nick answered. "I mean, I can only visit the Brady Bunch, Mayberry, Stalag 13, Gilligan's Island and the Munsters about so many times." He paused as Spiderman swung overhead with Kate Winslet in his hands. "You're in my holodeck and I can't shut it off. The ambient noises of the merged programs are drowning out my voice commands."
"How about getting to the computer itself?" Velma asked as actress Roberta Vasquez as the She Hulk was being rescued by Dean Cain as Superman. As the mutant Dazzler, Nicole Richie hurled off a dazzling array of lights to blind the colossal redhead.
"Because..." Nick tossed a piece of mansion off the wall of the disguised gym. "The proximity sensors in line with the tactile floor are designed to keep me fifteen feet from the walls at all times. It's part of the routine distorting perspective and horizon while creating distance. The tactile floor rolls like a treadmill so that no matter how far I go, I never leave the gym."
"Just turn off the illusions, dude!" Shaggy cried out amidst the flurry of bikini clad actresses, heroes and the giant clone.
"Don't you think I've tried?" Nick roared a bit upset then pushed the gang out of the way of a giant foot. "I've been in here for a week! A week! Velma, you must have an idea how to help me turn it off!"
"I haven't a clue!" Velma realized that if Nick couldn't stop his creations then she had no ideas. "Could you create something to trick it into turning itself off?"
"Guys?" Shaggy looked up to Giant Daphne finally keeling over. She was finally falling backward, but they were going to be crushed under her. Daphne clutched Fred as Nick paused and realized what to do.
"Enterprise..." Nick tapped his chest. "Five people and one dog to beam up." He replied. Daphne started screaming as her immense clone started falling. Fred clutched her trying to protect her. Shaggy and Scooby hugged each other for solace and Velma clutched head fearing being crushed under Daphne's giant clone. There was a flash of light and nothing happened. Looking out, she found herself on the transporter pad of the Star Trek Enterprise.
"Ambassador Danvers," Lt. Commander Geordi LaForge stood before them at the console. "Is everything all right?"
"Good job, Geordi..." Nick congratulated a person he considered a better friend than his real-life counterparts. Behind him, Nick noticed Fred, Daphne, Shaggy, Velma and Scooby in stunned silence upon living through a real Star Trek transporter.
"Come on guys..." Nick looked to them. "You don't think I'd be dumb enough to forget to create safeguards against injury."