Disclaimer – I do not own any of Team Ninja's Characters or anything else related to Dead or Alive. Also, i do not own any other various Fighting Game Characters that magically appear in this work of fiction.
A/N : (This one goes off the deep end, but i just couldn't help myself. As usual, i hope you enjoy!)
Leon rocks back and forth as he rides atop his trusty camel, Binny, across the windblown desert somewhere in the Middle East. The dusk, cloudy sky announces the beginning decent of the sun and although the air becomes cooler, Leon's throat is still dry. He is in desperate need of some sort of oasis before nightfall or things could go terribly wrong.
As luck would have it, Leon spots a watery promise of survival in the near distance and heels Binny forwards, relief floating to the forefront of his mind. The several thriving palm trees surrounding the sparkling waters are evidence enough that its not a mirage and Leon leaps off of Binny's high back, landing swiftly on the soft sand.
He walks towards the water, but pure white flowers on the ground catch his attention, perhaps daisies, but either way, they definitely don't belong. There are no flowers in this desert that he knows of, and he's sure they just appeared out of nowhere. He studies them intently for a second, but right before his eyes, with a magical swirl of wind, a young woman appears, brown haired and beautiful.
Leon immediately recognizes the kneeling woman as his only true love, Rolande. She wears the patchwork cloak he quilted for her when he was feigning sickness the first week he met her so he wouldn't have to fight the renegades of the land. Her smile still warms his soul and sets his heart beating faster than it normally should. As she stands, he quickly peeks down at her pretty, blue sandaled feet, pedicured and painted wonderfully. They should have sent a poet for assistance, but Leon thinks of something romantic to say on his own.
"This has gotta be a sex dream." Leon says earnestly as he surveys her stunning curves, but then thinks about it for a second, "But if so, why are we both dressed like we're Eskimos? And is Binny gonna watch, because...last time was weird." Leon begins to turn towards Binny with suspicion, but Rolande's smile deepens and she places a white flower petal in his stiff, open hand.
"The man I love is the strongest in the world." She says confidently in her melodious voice, like singing chirp chirp birds from way back home. Leon's breathe catches at hearing her statement, and anger seeps into his already furious looking face.
"You're in love with Wolf Hawkfield! But how could you?" Leon asks angrily in his deep, foreboding voice, ready to grab her and shake the hell out of her.
Rolande quickly shakes her head defensively and places her hand to Leon's cold blooded cheek,
"No, Leon, you are the strongest man in the world." She answers reassuringly and Leon bites his lower lip pensively,
"I'm not sure about that, my love. I can't even best Jann Lee and he's a straight poser." Leon then remembers that this is a dream and can probably get away with anything. He quickly straightens his back and flexes his massive bicep,
"Of course I'm the strongest man in the world, woman. I pwn in the DOA Tournament." Leon snickers deviously and readies himself for a much deserved kiss, but a swift wind blows again and the petal takes off from his stiff hand, because he doesn't know how to close it. Unfortunately, the wind takes Rolande with it, her lips stopping inches from Leon's face before she transforms into sand and is blown away.
Leon's eyes narrow furiously as he watches his beloved swept away, but before he is able to start cursing in Italian about not closing the deal, his eyes burst open...and he sits up quickly in his wooden cot located in the basement of a pottery shop located somewhere in Northern Africa. Leon wipes his sweaty forehead and looks to the dirt ceiling, but his words reach further,
"Okay, Jupiter, i understand now. No more dropping acid before i go to bed."
"And what else have you learned?" The deep, wise voice sounds, but before Leon can answer, a floating apparition of Edge Master appears above Leon's cot, "Listen Leon, i need your assistance in this world. To sustain Inferno, we need the other three Power Stones. Here, use the Dragon Radar." Edge Master reaches out his tattooed hand and Leon yells out in fear, climbing away from his cot and the wrinkled hand.
He quickly rushes to the only other piece of furniture in the crammed room and begins ripping open his dressers. He throws his ecstasy supply to the ground, breaks his crack pipes underfoot and reluctantly tears his magazines of erotically posed Israeli women to shreds.
"There! No more sinning of this sort! Just promise to make the voices go away." Leon pleads, looking around quickly, everywhere at once.
"Good, Leon-San, you have finally learned to turn away from your vices." Jupiter aka Zeus aka Odin aka Izanagi aka Itagaki says in a pleased voice. Leon sighs through relief, and for once, an actual curved expression creases his mouth, "You can now begin your journey to true enlightenment."
"Sweet, I'll start after i smoke up." Leon says, unraveling his nickel bag of freshly bought weed and Itagaki shakes his head,
"I thought we agreed, no more vices. How can you become the Ultimate Doa Character if your--"
"Hey, I never said nothing about the chronic. It's 4:20 and you can shut it." Leon sticks the paper between his teeth and reaches out his hand, "Yo, Dante Leon, hand me my lighter." On the other side of the room, Leon wearing his long red jacket and black undershirt tosses the hunting knife shaped lighter across the room, but white turban wearing, Terrorist Leon starts scratching the side of his neck impatiently,
"Yo, yo, Player One Leon, don't bogard! Seriously, we've talked about this. Puff, puff, half circle, half circle, pass, son, it's in the manual."