Disclaimer – I do not own any of Team Ninja's Characters or anything else related to Dead or Alive. Also, i do not own any other various Fighting Game Characters that magically appear in this work of fiction.
Ryu Hayabusa chills out in a euphorias state, much similar to his daily post-coitus stance, comfortable and lax. He's located high in the mountains surrounded by a beautiful landscape of green vegetation with the sounds of the harmonious animals everywhere. A slow moving stream runs underneath the ledge he stands on as he exhibits his expert fly fishing technique, the long bamboo pole carved by hand.
Ryu wears his favorite triangular straw hat which shades his dazzling green eyes from the powerful rays of the sun, which is complimented by his commando style headband. The term commando comes to mind two feet below as well, his loose brown pants always at the ready for any sort of horny mountain sprite or group of pixies that might be lurking about.
Ryu catches a pull on his line and quickly flips his wrist, ready to catch his fourth fish, the other three unlucky fools already cooking below at his fire. Unfortunately however, the tricky fish escapes. Ryu sighs and lowers his head, closing his eyes for a second, hating to ever think about the word 'failure' at all attached to his name. Ryu Hayabusa, Son of Joe Hayabusa, son of Jimmu Tenno himself.
"I think you have underestimated me, Sakana-Chan." Ryu whispers hoarsely and immediately tosses his massive rod down, strips off his green tank top, exposing his sinewy, magnificently sculpted, godlike chest, and leaps off of the rocky ledge. He dives headfirst into the pure waters and searches everywhere at once, his eyes like a hawk's. Frightened, big eyed fish dart here and there, but Ryu knows the scent of the one that escaped his judgment.
Ryu scans the area until he notices the foolish fish with a fake fish lure stuck in his mouth and like a barracuda, launches himself forwards. A coquettishly smiling mermaid begins to swim towards Ryu, but he sends her backwards with a peremptory hand to the face. He's much too busy, even if she does happen to be one of the few reverse, doable mermaids.
"Escape is impossible...your fate, is unavoidable." Ryu says, his words somehow sounding clear through the water without any of the liquid infiltrating his lungs. A special technique that he discovered while he was with his wet nurse as a baby, so he could nourish himself and dirty talk his mother's servant at the same time.
The horrified fish quickly attempts to evade, darting behind a large cluster of seaweed, but Ryu slashes forwards with his mouth open. He chomps down with perfect timing, his excellent white teeth catching the fish's golden tail and Ryu leaps out of the water in a series of flips. Ryu lands on the shore of his campfire, the desperately wriggling fish held tightly in his gloved grip.
"You knew you couldn't elude me. Not with my reputation of putting my mouth on every fish possible." Ryu snickers and looks down at the sad faced water creature, "You are a formidable opponent, Sakana-Chan, use this second chance well. Do good for the rest of your life, and carry out Justice in the watery depths." Ryu turns and mercifully tosses the fish back towards the stream with a radiant smile creasing his full lips.
The fish readies its gills to accept the bosom of its home, but just then, a speeding bald eagle swoops down and catches the poor soul in its mouth, calling out to Ryu for the free snack. Ryu growls furiously and dives into his pocket, rummaging around seldom used condoms for a shuriken, but the cackling eagle lifts away in victory, allowing the half eaten fake fly to float back to the earth.
"Damn..." Ryu hangs his head low, but notices the cast of shadows from the trees and realizes what time it is. His wondrous package is about to be delivered and he must accept it. It means life. He was promised the most glorious gift for saving Shanghai from a hoard of Monkey Fiends not two years passed, the gift promised by a quite impressionable young Chinese girl. Ly Fing maybe? He can never remember those weird Chinese names.
Ryu rushes towards his campsite where the fire is already blazing, the three fish charred beyond edibility. They don't matter though, he's going to be nourished impeccably in a few short seconds. He can already hear the whiz of the speeding arrow cutting through the trees. The wind calls out to him to accept his prize.
"To me, my hat!" Ryu holds out his gloved hand and his straw hat obeys his will, flying to his outstretched hand, too bad it doesn't realize it shall be used as an inertia reverser. Ryu catches his hat and quickly throws it into the air, spinning through the air as the arrow appears and slashes through its center, slowing the arrow's momentum only slightly. The speed decrease is just enough for Ryu to twist his torso, and catch the wooden shaft in his left hand.
Everything seems to slow down as Ryu reaches to the tied letter at the end of the arrow, close to the fletching. His heart rate increases, something that didn't even happen during his first foursome, but this is much more important. Ryu takes a deep breathe, grasping the paper in his hand and pulls it away. He unfolds the paper and reads, the widest smile ever recorded in history creasing his lips.
"DOA 4 NUDE CODES! INCLUDING NEVER BEFORE SEEN SHOWER SCENE BETWEEN HALF SISTERS, HELENA AND KOKORO. ALL IN HIGH DEFINITION. TO ACCESS SECRET CHEAT WINDOW, ENTER--(turn page)" Ryu licks his lips as he turns the paper over and attempts to read the secret input code for unlimited access, but it is written in characters that he doesn't recognize. To an American, it might all look like odd looking Asian symbols, but Ryu knows the difference between Kanji and Mandarin Chinese.
"This can't be happening..." Ryu says as motion normalizes and sweat begins to drip down from his headband. He flips the paper over, reading English, and then swaps it back and stares incredulously at the Chinese, "Why would she write one side in English and the other in Chinese? I eat the oranges, I don't understand the language!" The paper squeals its last as Ryu crumbles it into a tight ball, his fist enclosing upon it through rage.
"This will not be forgiven." Ryu says solemnly, dropping the crumbled sheet of paper into the fire, sending tendrils of hatred into the air, "I will launch a one-man war against the Chinese Ancestors. I will destroy the men who spawned the Mandarin language...and defile their women for emphasis." Ryu grabs his katana and straps it to his back, looking up towards the sky, his face displaying stark vengeance. He knows of a time traveling technique, but first he must visit Muramasa to load up on Monomates and Telepipes.
He takes one step and out of nowhere, a flying purple flowered kunai slashes through the air, impaling itself into a nearby tree with a loud clunk. A frightened Ryu peaks up from the ground, looking around everywhere at once with paranoia, but although he doesn't see the source, he knows where the blame lies.
"Damnit Ayane, stop throwing those! They scare the shit out of me!"