A Baker's Dozen

Hopefully you all know that a baker's dozen is 13…

Tom and Kate Baker, 12 kids, happily married; living in Evanston in the biggest house I have ever seen. But yet, sometimes, the kid part could be confusing. Nora had moved back into the large house, and was sharing a room with Lorraine. Of course, after the whole "fed-ex" thing, the family had been closer than ever.

"Hey Kate," Tom said, "All the kids are spending the night somewhere except Lorraine, who won't be back 'til 12, and Nora who won't be back 'til later. We're all set to get out of here."

"I hope our trip to Florida for the weekend will be fun," Kate sighed.

"Well it's only going to be us two together," Tom said.

Kate agreed, "Count me in!"

Later that night, Tom and Kate boarded their plane to Florida. It was the next day.

"Tom, I don't feel too good," Kate started.

"Holy crap," Tom sighed.

"I kissed him!" Lorraine shouted as she woke Nora up.

"Are you serious?" Nora, suddenly awake, asked.

"Yes!"

"Wait, who?"

"This guy named Cody; he plays main quarterback on Charlie's team!"

"Oh, that guy! He's so cute!" Nora replied. "The guy that has dark skin, brown hair, totally muscular?" Lorraine nodded.

"Oh, and he wants me to go to a movie with him tonight!" Lorraine added.

"Go!" Nora shouted. "See, I told you it pays off to be a cheerleader!"

"You're right," Lorraine agreed. "What should I wear?"

"Your first kiss," Nora sighed. "Oh, um, jeans and a cute t-shirt."

"Sure," Lorraine nodded. "We're going to see a scary movie!"

"That's the best kind!" Nora shouted. "Then you guys can hold hands."

"Who's holding hands?" Jessica asked as she walked into the room.

"Nobody," Lorraine lied. "What are you doing in my room?"

"I need some glue," Jessica replied.

Nora asked, "Why?"

"Um, got to go, bye!" Jessica said as she grabbed Lorraine's glue and ran.

"Hey, get back here!" Nora shouted and ran after her.

"Lorraine," Sarah said, entering the room, "Something's kind of going on at school…"

"What's the problem, butch?" Lorraine joked.

"Well," Sarah started, "There are these girls, and they have nice girly clothes and stuff, and they kind of make fun of me because I'm not girly."

"And you haven't hit them yet?" Lorraine asked.

"Remember what happened last time I hit a girl?" Sarah reminded her. "Can you just like show them off or something?"

"How about I give you a makeover?" Lorraine asked.

"No way! All I want is for you to show up and tell them to buzz off!" Sarah shouted.

"Fine, whatever," Lorraine sighed. Sarah always crushed her dreams of her giving her a makeover. "I'll be there after-school on Monday."

"Thanks sis!" Sarah exclaimed as she jumped up and ran out of the room.

Nora came back, "They're making Paper-Mache! So, I let them do it.

The phone rang, Lorraine picked it up. "Hello?"

"Lorraine, hi honey. It's mom, we can't be home on Monday, so tell Nora she has to get everyone from school and you're in charge of making dinner. Charlie has to make sure everyone is in bed on time, so you all have to work things out, okay?"

"Fine, mom, but why aren't you coming home?"

"I'll tell you Tuesday night when we get home."

"Alright," Lorraine sighed as she hung up the phone. She turned to Nora, "You have to pick up everyone from school on Monday, mom's not coming back 'til Tuesday."

"Okay," Nora shrugged.

The doorbell rang later that day. "Kimmy, get that!" Lorraine shouted. Kimmy opened the door and Cody stood there. "Hi Cody," Lorraine shouted from the top of the stairs.

"Hey, are you ready to go?" Cody asked.

"Almost," Lorraine answered. "Kimmy, take him into the living room to meet everybody." So Kimmy did. Charlie sat down on the couch across from him.

"So," Charlie started, "I'm hoping you already know my name." Cody nodded. "This is Nora, Henry, Sarah, Jake, Kimmy, Jessica, Mark, Mike, Nigel, and Kyle." He pointed to each member of the family.

"Okay," Cody nodded, "You're going to have to help me out with that."

"Easy," Jessica said. "Nora's the oldest, Henry plays the clarinet, Sarah's a tomboy, Jake skates, Kimmy is my twin but she doesn't look like me, I'm Jessica, Mark has glasses, Mike is weird, and Nigel and Kyle are twins."

"Oh, that's easy," Cody lied. Charlie laughed.

"Our parents are out of town," Kimmy said, "You'll like them too."

"Wait, they're not here, and they're not coming back tonight?" Cody asked.

"Um, yeah, what's your problem with it, pretty boy?" Sarah asked.

"Oh nothing," Cody grinned.

Lorraine stepped down the stairs, "I'm ready."

"Your family has made me change my mind," Cody said. "Why don't we stay here and invite a few friends over?"

"Oh, you mean like a party, right?" Charlie grinned.

"Exactly," Cody replied.

An hour later, and the house was definitely jumping. The Baker kids were on the tables, Nigel had passed out from too much sugar and Nora was meeting some high-school guys. Lorraine sat by herself in her bedroom, crying.

"This was supposed to be my date with Cody," she said to herself.

Downstairs:

Charlie had invited Beth to the party, and they were crazier than ever before. They danced and danced for what seemed like forever. Sarah came up to Charlie, "Charlie, those guys won't let me watch TV with them and I can't find Lorraine."

"What?" Charlie asked. "Where's Lorraine?"

"I told you," Sarah said, slightly annoyed, "I can't find her!"

Charlie jumped away from Beth and went looking for Lorraine. She wasn't at the party at all; he searched the whole bottom floor. That meant he had to go upstairs. He looked in her room, and she sat on her bed crying.

"What's up Lorraine?" Charlie asked her.

"Oh nothing," Lorraine sighed. "It's just my date was ruined, thanks to someone telling him our parents were out of town."

"Don't look at me, it was Kimmy," Charlie replied.

"I wasn't looking at you; I am looking at the mirror, at my ugly dark-circled face!" Lorraine shouted at him.

"Your face isn't ugly, trust me, I know," Charlie answered. "If you can get a date with Cody, then your face isn't ugly."

"Leave me alone," Lorraine pulled the covers over her body.

"Nighty-night," Charlie said as he turned off the lights and closed the door.

"What's wrong with Lorraine?" Mark asked as Charlie stepped out of Lorraine's bedroom door.

"She's just tired," Charlie answered.

"When are these people going home?" Mark asked.

"When you tell them to leave."

"ME?" Mark replied. "Why me?"

"Because you don't go to their school!"

"Can I tell someone else to do it?" Mark asked.

Charlie answered, "Sure, whatever."

"Nora," Mark asked, "Can you tell these people to leave?"

"Are you kidding?" Nora was shocked. "These guys are so hot; I can't believe I ever dated Hank!"

"Nora!" Jessica shrieked as she entered the room. "Tell these guys to leave me alone. They want to play strip poker with me, and I don't even know how to play poker!"

"What?" Nora asked. "No one tells my baby sister she has to play strip poker!"

Nora followed Jessica to a card table in the kitchen where 5 high school boys sat with their underwear and undershirts on. "Hey, you," Nora shouted, "Leave my sister alone! And better yet, put your clothes on and leave my house!" They grabbed their clothes and ran out of the house.

"Nora!" Kimmy shouted as she ran into the room. "Those guys are throwing darts at me!"

"High school guys are so immature," Nora turned to Mark, "Forget what I said a few minutes ago." So Nora went upstairs and yelled at the dart-throwers, who ran out as fast as they could.

"Nora!" Jake shouted as he also entered the room, "Those guys broke my skateboard!"

So Nora yelled at the guys who broke his skateboard and they all ran away.

"NORA!" Sarah screamed from the other room. "Help!"

Nora ran into the living room, "what's going on?"

"They're going to give me a makeover!" Sarah shouted as she pointed to a group of girls sitting on the couch. Nora yelled at them and they went home too.

By the time Nora had dealt with all the Baker family's complaints, the house was clear, except for the large mess they left. The only person left except the Bakers was Cody.

"Hey," Cody asked Charlie, "Where's Linda?"

"You mean Lorraine?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah," Cody blushed, "I haven't seen her all night."

"Hmm, I thought maybe if you were supposed to go on a date with someone, you went alone, and when I say went I mean go somewhere!" Charlie shouted sarcastically.

"Geez, Carl," Cody said, "I know I was kind of ignorant to Lorraine, but…"

"My name is Charlie, and you were a lot ignorant, you didn't even remember her name!"

"Where is she?" Cody asked.

"None of your business," Mark butted in.

"Are you talking to me?" Cody intimidated him.

"No," Henry interrupted, "He's talking to your imaginary friend."

"Shut your hole!" Cody yelled at Henry.

"Are you talking to me?" Henry mimicked.

"You want a piece of this, little kid?" Cody asked.

"You want a piece of this, little kid?" Sarah threatened.

"Oh look, the family freak circus has joined in to fight the bigger than you kid!" Cody laughed.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrr!" Nigel and Kyle shouted, making their famous arm flexing movements.

"Oooooh, I'm so scared!" Cody joked.

"You should be," Lorraine interrupted from the stairway, "Because you're getting kicked to the curb by one of the family circus!"

"Hey, Lorraine, we were just kidding around," Cody blushed.

"Oh, but I'm not. Good bye mister not-nice-guy!" Lorraine motioned for Charlie to kick him out the door. So he did.

"Good choice, sis," Charlie smiled.

"Thanks," Lorraine grinned back.

Okay, so it was my first Cheaper By the Dozen fanfic, don't be too mean, it was a just an idea that popped into my head. Oh, and you can try to guess what happens to Kate because I know you already know, trust me, it's not that hard to figure out. Tell me also what you think of Cody, because I kind of had to make him up. REVIEW PLEASE!