Disclaimer: Gravi isn't mine. (I need a new disclaimer, hehe)

A/N: Wow, I'm not dead! Hehe, sorry for the long absence. Summer vacation was...busy, but I guess that's no excuse, right? Well, I won't bother taking up your time with worthless excuses. Here's a chapter, to make up for it! Sorta...


Disillusionment

Chapter 11-Waiting

sunny1388

When they arrived at the cautery room, the nurses left Shuichi's bed in the waiting room with Yuki as they went to prepare the special instruments. Cauterization wasn't a standard procedure, but it was used as a last resort in rare, critical cases. One nurse stayed behind for a few moments to quickly check Shuichi's vitals again and painfully inserted another IV.

Finally, she left too and Yuki and Shuichi were alone. Avoiding his lover's eyes again, Yuki let his eyes wander around the room as Shuichi nervously hummed a little tune under his breath. There were only a few scattered words. The rest was mindless humming. And after about four measures, he would trail off and start over again.

The repetition was getting to Yuki, who finally whirled around after the sixth repetition with a flare that was toned-down from his usual scorching ones. Not that Shuichi didn't have a good voice. His soft humming was soothing and at the same time, incredibly disturbing for some reason that Yuki couldn't quite pinpoint,

"Damnit brat, you can't shut up for one minute?" Yuki growled, but Shuichi didn't seem to care about his lover's gruffness,

"My concert's in a month, did you know that, Yuki?" Shuichi chirped.

Of course Yuki had known. It had been mentioned to him several times a day since it had been planned, sometimes at the most inopportune moments,

"And the new CD. Remember the CD?"

Of course. Sometimes Yuki got the feeling that he knew more about Shuichi's career than the singer did himself, considering Shuichi's habit of simply forgetting things. But, of course, the new CD and the concert planned to launch it was excluded from that habit. And how could Yuki forget anything that had deprived him of sex for a whole week and counting?

Shuichi was still rambling when Yuki slipped out of his musings, "But I still have a whole 'nother song to write…" Shuichi's voice had drifted off into silence and Yuki's gaze didn't move from its fixed position somewhere around a corner of the room,

"Yuki…" Shuichi's soft, trembling voice was almost enough to tear Yuki's eyes from the wall, "What if…what if I can't finish the song? What if I can't make it to the concert?"

A small shudder went through Yuki as his eyes slipped closed and he turned to make sure his face was blocked from Shuichi's view. His voice, when he spoke, was rough and strained,

"Quit being stupid, Shuichi."

Shuichi blinked at the reply, then a slow grin spread over his face. He sat up quickly, even though this time he carefully set the wires and tubes that were attached to his body aside, and before Yuki could protest, had wrapped his arms warmly around him. With his face pressed warmly into Yuki's back, Shuichi mumbled a muffled 'love you'.

Wordlessly, Yuki sat down on the edge of the bed and laid his hands on Shuichi's, which were clasped and resting against his chest. There was nothing to say to that. It seemed too much like a chance farewell. A just-in-case-something-happens farewell. Replying to it might somehow affirm it.

A sudden banging on the hallway door shattered the moment and Yuki stood up abruptly and muttered an excuse in Shuichi's direction about 'your insane friends' and left the room to admit a flushed Hiro. The guitarist looked as if he had sprinted a couple hundred meters and his gasping breaths seemed to affirm that.

Shuichi quirked a smirk at his best friend,

"Did you think I died or something, Hiro?"

But apparently the attempt at humor was lost on the young man who quickly approached his friend's bed,

"Shuichi! Are you okay? What happened? Why are you here?" The questions tumbled from him as fast as he could catch the breath to speak them,

"Uh…" Shuichi scratched his head with a blush, but at that moment, a nurse that came in through the double doors and saved Shuichi from an explanation. Hiro's attempts at getting information from her didn't work either and he was told rather firmly several times to 'please take a seat and wait'. Finally after Shuichi had been wheeled through the swinging double doors, and waving like an idiot the whole time.

Hiro had gone to visit Shuichi in his room but had opened the door to find nothing. The bed was made with new sheets and rested empty in the middle of the room. He had panicked for a few moments before thinking to ask a passing nurse where Shindou Shuichi had been taken. When she told him the cauterizing room, a feeling of dread trickled through him. It had to have been something bad for the doctors to take such extreme measures. He had dashed up to the room and, after finding Shuichi still conscious and joking, relaxed a little. Now, Hiro let himself collapse into one of the plastic orange chairs that lined the walls. 'Not this again.' He thought to himself, before picking up a magazine with a soft snort at the date on it.

"Eiri, you have to eat something." Mika pleaded with her brother. Both she and her husband had been trying, ever since they had pulled Yuki away from that little room, to persuade the blond to eat some of the selection they had brought up from the cafeteria for him. They were worried for him. Ever since Shuichi had been rushed to the hospital, over a day ago, Yuki had been either sitting by his bedside, alone, or lurking in a dark corner of his room when Shuichi's friends came to visit. He had only left to use the bathroom in Shuichi's room every few hours but was otherwise glued to his lover's bed.

It was sweet but distressing at the same time. Mika knew that Yuki didn't take good care of himself, but usually he would, with some grouching, let them take care of him. Now, it seemed like her brother was in a daze. Almost as unresponsive as his unconscious lover had been. For Yuki's sake, Mika hoped that Shuichi would get better soon.

"Eiri-san, how about some of this strawberry cheesecake?" Tohma pushed the plate in Yuki's direction, hoping to elicit at least a glare. Although he did get the glare, Yuki pushed away the treat. He didn't feel hungry and wished that his relatives would stop badgering him to eat. When Shuichi was out of the damned cauterizing room safe and sound, then he might eat. If he was hungry.

"Eiri…" Mika tried again, but it only annoyed her brother, who stood up, pushing his chair back with a screech. He started towards the double doors of the cafeteria.

"Eiri-san, where are you going?" Tohma asked. His voice was tired, bordering on exhausted.

"Back." Yuki tossed over his shoulder and exited the room. He had no wish to deal with annoying sisters and brothers-in-law. He just wanted Shuichi. God, but he had grown attached to the damn brat.

As soon as Yuki stepped into the small waiting room he and Shuichi had shared a kiss in, he was shoved against the wall. Too surprised to react, he couldn't dodge the fist that hit him square in the eye.

"…the hell?!" he muttered, finally ducking away and staring at a furious Hiro. Ah. Apparently the boy had finally come out of his disbelief to start laying blame. And of course, he was the lucky one.

Dodging another wild punch aimed at his nose, Yuki sidestepped and quickly turned to meet his opponent again. He wouldn't raise a hand to Hiro. Shuichi would be so distressed if he did and Shuichi needed to relax. Plus, he wouldn't deny Hiro the peace he was trying to find. Hell, he knew that if he could find anyone else to blame but himself, he'd do it in a second.

"You bastard!" Hiro yelled, trying a kick that should've knocked Yuki off his feet, but didn't. Although it would leave a bruise on his shin.

"This is all your fault!" A kick that hit Yuki's jaw. A thin line of blood trailed down from the corner of his mouth. But Hiro didn't stop his assault. Instead, it seemed to make him even angrier, "You did this to him! You're killing him!" A punch that glanced off Yuki's shoulder but knocked him off balance, "You're killing Shuichi, you fucking son of a bitch!"

Hiro's punch to Yuki's stomach left the man winded and he gasped for breath as he stumbled back towards the doorway. A pair of surprisingly strong arms caught him as people rushed into the room.

"Oh my god, Eiri, what happened?" he heard Mika's voice as she stared at her brother being supported by her husband. Realizing who was holding him, Yuki shoved Tohma away and stood up. Hiro was being restrained by Suguru and K while Ryuichi was standing in the doorway, clutching his Kuma-chan wide-eyed.

Yuki let his sister lead him over to a chair across the room from Hiro and sat as she examined his wounds. Satisfied that they were only bruises, she sat down next to him with a weary sigh that said she was too tired to scold him at that moment but he could expect some sisterly yelling later. Tohma sat down on his other side quietly. He should have known something would happen. Nakano-san, in all the time that Tohma had known him, had been nothing if not righteous. He should have seen this and made sure that Hiro wouldn't get a chance to pick a fight, but he hadn't. Still, the fact that Yuki had been restrained and didn't fight back reassured Tohma and he felt a bit of pride in his brother-in-law.

Hours passed. Yuki, Mika, and Tohma sat silently on one side of the room, Hiro, Suguru, and K sat on the other side. Suguru and K whispered fiercely to Hiro, who didn't seem to hear them. His glare was focused on Yuki, who was intent on ignoring the angry youth.

Suddenly, when the silence was almost getting to much for Tohma to bear, he looked up and wondered what the uneasy feeling in his stomach was. It had been bothering him for hours until he truly looked around and realized that Ryuichi and his constant stream of chatter were missing. Not wanting to disturb any of them, he quietly left. When he was in the hall and the door behind him was closed, Tohma breathed a small sigh of relief. The tension that had been building in that room was so unbearable. Especially when combined with all the other stresses in his life.

Many of them were from his hectic career. But some of them were from other sources. Yuki, for one. This little event would likely be a difficult problem in Yuki and Shuichi's relationship. And, of course, something this big would definitely hurt Yuki in some way. Whatever hurt Shuichi hurt Yuki, it was a given. But the question of how much it would hurt them still remained to be seen.

Yuki was a private person. Shuichi, in his own way, was also extremely secretive and private. If neither of them talked about this, it would only be left to stew between them, creating a permanent barrier in their relationship, a glass ceiling. And also a permanent barrier to Yuki's happiness. Because Tohma had realized that Shuichi meant Yuki's happiness.

Shaking his head, Tohma sunk down on a plastic orange chair, his worry for Ryuichi momentarily delayed. Even he had certainly never expected anything like this for Shuichi. It was too out of character for the happy, carefree boy. Tohma wondered what he had overlooked that could trigger such a drastic action in Shuichi. He wondered whether it was depression? Possibly from the Aizawa incident?

Tohma had no idea how Shuichi had dealt with that. To his knowledge, Shuichi didn't talk about it with anymore. Not many people even knew. It was unlikely that Shuichi had gone to see a counseler. Something like that, if it had got out, would've been all over the news.

Deciding that thinking about the problem wouldn't do him any good. He would just hope that Yuki and Shuichi would be smart enough to clear up this situation and perhaps, forget it. He would speak with Shuichi when the boy was well enough to have visitors. Or perhaps he would charm a doctor into letting him see Shuichi. Seeing as how he was, of course, Seguchi Tohma. And whatever Tohma wanted, Tohma got.
A/N:
Sorry, it's kinda a boring chapter. Not much action. I wouldn't call this a filler chapter, but it's definitely not a juicy one. But finally there's some more happy stuff between Yuki and Shuichi! Anyway, sorry, I'm very sorry about the long time it took. Hopefully, I'll get another chapter up soon to try and make up for it!

But hey, in the meantime...hehe, I just wrote a Yu Yu Hakusho one-shot, so if there's any YYH fans, go check it out!

By the way, I got the dubbed Gravi DVD and watched episodes 1-4. My favorite part of the DVD has to be the subs. The english voices aren't that good, but the Japanese...I love Tomokazu Seki! I'm going to marry that man someday. Yep. Just you watch.

REVIEWS:

Kadzuki Fuchoin: Yay! I'm not gonna die for cliffies? Now I just hope you won't kill me after this really, really long update time!! Eep!

HikariChang: Shuichi on top?! Whoa, think Yuki'd ever let him? lol, but no, my fanarts aren't like that, hehe. They're more towards the fluffy side. Hugs and maybe a kiss on the top of the head or cheek, that's about the most yaoi they'll go. lol, like PG or G

Sweet Chaos: Same here. Angst is so cool and my favorite angsty fics are the ones that make me cry. Isn't that so weird??

GoldenWings: Aww! Sorry, hands you a tissue. Shuichi is cool, but I'd want to paired with any of the Gravi guys! Except maybe Sakano... But yes, Shuichi is so lovable, isn't he?

Kitty in the Box: Whoa, did you change your username? lol, anyway, Yuki's not finding out yet. It'll be later. Perhaps a couple more chapters. Yuki's getting tortured a little more. Unfortunately, so is Ryu-chan. Awww. Anyway, thanks! And I did update. Just...a little...late. Ehehe?

Black Dios: lol, Shu-chan is alive. For now. Muahahahahahaha! And I think you would get along well with Shuichi? ne?

Suki: Thanks, but as always, I must respond with maybe. Shu might live or maybe not. I dunno.

SlightlyPsycho: Ack, I'm arrogant enough. I don't need any more, lol. Yeah, probably found it through Amy. Damn it. I knew that Soul Hunter fic was a mistake. Ah well. So, now you'll get to say more stuff in Japanese! Lucky! Give me a few phrases that I can add in here, lol

Aeryith: Hehe, 11 chapters now! You probably missed my fic because I sometimes take a little long between updates and it gets pushed back. I'll try to update more, hehe. And about Shu, I'll say what I always say. His fate is undecided. He may live...or he may not. Eep. But I'll try and get Yuki to save him or something. I don't want my Shu-chan to die!

Lara: Shuichi's not dead..yet... insert evil laughter. Actually, I don't know. We'll see, I guess. I don't know why I torture Yuki so much, I mean, I totally love the guy. Hm. I'll try and be nicer to him...maybe.

Ash of Mine: Poor Yuki, he will be devasted. I have that particular section already written. Poor guy. Poor Shu-chan! Why must I be such an evil author??

yume: lol, hehe

StrawberryPockyPoo: Yes, I know what you mean. I can't believe I can't do my anime smilies anymore! I can't express myself! Hehe, I guess angst is like sad drama. Maybe. I dunno. Eep, I hope I didn't kill someone! Did this count as taking too long to update? Sorry!!

cerillion: Hehe, yeah, my summary is pretty boring, but I'm glad you like my fic!

KrissKittie: Pocky? Gimme!! Hehe. So how did you like the dub Gravi? Personally I preferred the sub, but then again, Seki-san is my god. Hehe. I like your idea of the 'thought process' thing, probably at the end though. Ryu, we're getting to later. Couldn't get him in this chapter, but definitely the next one. btw, I LOVED your Ryu fic! I've read it three times now, hehe. I should blame you for how long this chapter took. J/k, but anyway, the cauterization thing is not gonna be in detail because I don't think I could write it very well. Plus, enough angst, more YXS! Good luck with school!

Puppy Girl: Yeah, I like the "Don't go" part too. Can you guess where that's from? Let me give you a clue: it's a song lyric. (from my fav Gravi song)

kisstherain: Yuki will find out, of course, but later. Not now. Must play with characters some more, hehe. Minus pictures, yes. I can't draw that well. I'd ruin them! But no, my fic cannot even COMPARE to Murakami Maki's manga. I mean, come on! I agree that Suguru is much better for Hiro than Ayaka. I mean, Gravi's shounen-ai! In my ficcy, Hiro's definitely NOT straight! Hehe

demonic faye: Maybe I need a new warning for my fic then, "May cause starvation and/or dehydration" lol, We'll see about Shuichi's fate.
Again, thank you for all the great reviews!