Titled: Stories of the Damned

Author: MeruMarsters

Summary: Spike/Willow fic, dramatic, angsty, and overall, a story of love. Kind of AU. Set right after "Smashed." after the prologue. Everything just sort of takes it's own course. Just go along with it and see what happens.

Disclaimer: I have no claim over any aspect of Buffy the Vampire Slayer whatsoever. BTVS is owned and copyrighted by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, et al. You get it. I'm merely a fan.

Feedback: Please. All happy little praises and constructive critisism will be noted and appreciated. All spiteful, and may I mention lame and really pointless flames will he sent to the poof in L.A. to be filed. Then, sent to a random hell demension that will be chosen by a pair of dice. Spooky, all knowing dice.

A/N: -sigh- Just go along with it.

I sat on the bathroom floor, crying. How could Tara do his to me? Didn't she know she was my light? My everything? I didn't mean for all of it to get out of hand, I swear. I just wanted things back the way they were...and now it's all gone to hell. I'd been crying every night since the Tabula Rasa incident, when everyone was out. I just couldn't help it. But tonight, something was different. I was at my end. There wasn't even any hope left. I got up, got dressed, and went out. It was close to sunrise, but there was time. Maybe I could go out slaying, get myself killed and everyone would just forget me. "Stupid little WIllow, magick addict," they'd say, "what was she thinking?" They'd never even guess I'd be thinking this. I walked to the nearest cemetery, quick and quiet, keeping to the shadows. If they couldn't find me, they couldn't save me, and I didn't want to be saved. I didn't want...anything.

That's when I heard the explosion. Despite my despair, I couldn't help but wonder what was happening. I started to jog over that way, and hid. No need to attract any attention. I recognized where I was, Spike's crypt. Then Rielly walked out, soot on his face. What was he doing here? Shouldn't he be trying to find Buffy? He started to run back to Buffy's house, probably to Samantha. Nice woman, even if I'll never tell Buffy. Speaking of, where was she? And what happened to Spike's crypt? I inched closer, hoping to find my sort of life, or un-life, since it was Spike's crypt.

"I can't love you. I'm just ... being weak, and selfish..."
"Really not complaining here."
"...and it's killing me. I have to be strong about this...I'm sorry, William."

Shock coursed through my body. It all made sense. The late nights, the impromptu leavings, Buffy and Spike. And somehow, it wasn't all that hard to believe. He loved her. He really did. And she...I couldn't blame her. I was my fault. I brought Buffy back. I tore her out of heaven, because I was too selfish to let her rest.

Buffy appeared at the crypt door, and walked out into the early sunlight. She looked crushed. But it wasn't Buffy I wanted to cry for. Spike. Spike... He loved her. So much. Even when I was so concerned about my next fix, I'd see him, and my heart would hurt for just a second. His eyes told so much. He would do anything for Buffy. Like I would do anything for Tara. I would have done anything for Tara. I loved her so much. But I was weak. I let the magick get to me, and it oulled me under.

I made a decision. I entered Spike's crypt. He looked up at my sound, a glimmer of hope in his eyes, but it was quickly put away the minute he saw me. I didn't care. He was hurting so much, that I wanted to hurt with him just a little too. I sat down, I stared him in the eyes. So much pain I could see in him, so much he could see in me. I reached out for his hand and took it, a question. He nodded ever so slightly. I crawled next to him and in a moment, he was holding me.

"I'm sorry, Spike."

No other words were spoken. I sobbed into him, and soon, he was sobbing just the same. We held eachother as we cried, unaware of the midday sun outside, unaware of the blackened walls and everything else. A little while later, we fell asleep, neither knowing, nor wanting to know, what would happen when we awoke.