Disclaimer:All you recognize isn't mine!
Author's Note: Very Important, this takes place in the Hogwarts world before HBP. The release of the book hit me right in the middle of my plot, so kinda got caught in a pickle. Anyway, hope you allenjoy yourselves. Please be patient with the first chapter because like many, it only gets the ball rolling and not much else.
Chapter One: Life of the Slytherin Smart-Ass
Someone lit up the dormroom and rolled over angrily. I know appearances are important but couldn't they start at a decent hour. "Wake up, Marlow!" Pansy Parkinson shouted from the bathroom.
"Isn't it still break?"
"McGonagall will slaughter you if you sleep through her class again."
"Fine, fine," I grumbled throwing my covers back and swinging my legs to the floor. "Oh you bitch, Pansy, you know we have Snape today."
"Had to get you up somehow."
I glanced into the bathroom. My roommates were crammed in that tiny space trying to do their makeup as fast as they could because let's face it, they use a lot of make up. I ran a hand through my long dark and hideously tangledtressesbefore Iwalked over to them.
"Oh my god, Daphne," I said with a fake gasp. "What happened to you? I thought you said you watched your weight over Christmas vacation!"
"What!" she screeched and ran to check the full length mirror, allowing me the space to grab my hair brush and makeup. "Do I really look fat?"
"No, no, it was just the angle." Daphne Greengrass cared more about her looks than any other girl in slytherin house. Understandable because that girl wasn't going to get anywhere on brains alone.
"How was your vacation, Moon?" I called as I whipped the brush through my hair.
"Stayed here," she replied. "Have to stay on top of my quidditch skills."
"Sure," Pansy replied. "You're messing around with that captain from Ravenclaw aren't you? Nick Bradley?"
"No comment." Morgan Moon was a chaser on the house team, the second female player since Morgana Montague three years ago. Her family would kill her if she ever even tried for the pros, her family has been lawyers since the beginning of time, even the girls no way Moon could ever end that.
"What about you, Marlow?" Pansy asked. "Anything exciting happened with you over vacation?"
"Just spent some quality time with good ol' dad," I said fumbling for my cigarettes. I don't much want to talk about what happened with my father and vacation. It will be in the papers later. I like many, come from a family of recognition. Gryffindors would call it a family of deatheaters but they like to distort reality, in my opinion.
"Oh so you spent time with Draco?" Pansy continued. Despite what you may think and those gryffindors might have narrated, Draco and Pansy are far from an item. Nor is Pansy stupid. She isn't the next Hermione Granger but she is certainly savvy. Pining after Draco seemed to be a good plan until she was introduced to other offspring of powerful people.
"No, I spent time with my father and his father in meetings." Then there is me: Alexandra Marlow,but if anyone called me by my full name except my father's lawyers it would feel awkward and wrong. Daddy Dearest is right up there with other seniorfather figures such as Nott, Avery, Malfoy and what have you. But that is all trivial, and irritating. All that really matters at the moment is that I am a nicotine addict who isn't cosmetically gifted nor savvy and I am in no hurry to get to Potions.
Puffing on a cigarette, I left my dorm with my books slung over my shoulder lazily. "Xan, do you go anywhere without your fucking fags?" I didn't need to look up to know who it was. One of the only tall, dark and undeservingly smug slytherin who likes using first names; yes, that includes the horrendous shortening of my legal name bestowed in first year. One would think only 'alex' would come out of Alexandra but oh no, there are far more ugly combinations once you start skipping syllables.
"I, unlike you Blaise, am not looking forward to seeing gryffindors for first period. I need the nicotine to sooth me."
Blaise Zabini came over and walked beside me. "You know, I did nothing but wank off to the thought of the Granger girl all vacation."
I gave him a long-sided glance. Why me? Why does he always tell me and only me these things? Well probably because I just happen to be enjoy getting people to tell me things but it isn't exactly an on-off gift. "The day you actually score with one of the golden trio is the day I pay you a thousand galleons." Okay, so perhaps I am flattering myself a bit too much, but who is there to stop me?
"Is that a promise?"
"You're dreams never cease to entertain me," I replied with a snarky grin.
We exited the portal and found two other slytherins in the hallway. "Oi, Draco, Theo!" Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott spun around. Ah, the four are reunited again. I cannot think of a single teacher that doesn't loathe having the royalty of slytherin in their classes. Certainly other slytherin families were well known but between the four of us, Malfoy, Nott Zabini and Marlow nothing was sacred. Hah, but that is of course if you pay attention to social structures in the wizarding world. Those who don't (nearly everyone but professors) see all slytherins as members of Draco Malfoy's posse. And doesn't he just love the attention.
"How was your vacation?" I asked.
"Fucking Potter," Draco said. Oh god, not another Potter rant. Oh well guess it is the swing of the new year. "After his oh-so fucking publicized efforts and convictions about the Dark Lord, Aurors are the new fucking police! My father wouldn't get off the subject for a second.
"Ah the price of power," I said cheekily exhaling over my shoulder. "Don't worry too much, Malfoy. Potter can't be perfect at everything at the same time."
He shot me a look, "Do you know something, Marlow?"
I smirked, "Don't I always know something, Draco?"
"Don't be a bitch, Marlow," Theo said.
"Well, Teddy," I said, it was my personal way of keeping that boy's ego in line, "apparently Ginny Weasley is single again and for one short reason."
Draco's jaw dropped. "Are you serious?"
"Mhm," I nudged my hips back and forth. "Apparently . . . Potter hasn't figured out how to make motion in the ocean." Actually, I made that up off ofthe general knowledge that the gryffindor couple split up. But who the fuck cares, it made the morning more interesting.
"Call me an optimist," Blaise said clasping his hands behind his head. "But I can't see Potter being that bad in bed. It seems like all he has to do is lie there while the girls do it for him."
"No, no, you're confusing him with Draco."
"Oh yes but who was your source?"
The other two got a bit irritated at our playful exchange but I paid them no mind. "One of Baddock's ex-girls is roommates with the Weasley girls."
"How did you get her to talk to you?" Theo said shaking his head. "You think people would have figured out who you were by now. Are gryffindors daft or something?"
"Of course they are. We are just Malfoy's posse, don't you know? Besides, I had but to show her Baddock making out with another girl and the information was flowing." Another tiny rearrangement of words but it's more digestable now.
"This is a brilliant way to start out the day," Draco said, looking off into space and undoubtably imagining Potter's penis in comparison to his own.
"When did you start getting cozy with Baddock?" Theo asked.
"Teddy, everyone is cozy with Baddock, it just comes down to knowing how to talk to him." Actually, I have been cozy with Baddock since birth. He is one of those astranged third-cousins who you pretend isn't your cousin in case you have to marry them.
"True, he is a bit of a man-slut."
"He is worse than Zabini."
"Hey!" Blaise was about to get a word in when he caught sight of Hermione Granger unconsciously crossing are paths.
"Bloody slag," Theo muttered.
"We have an unofficial bet of a thousand galleons if he can sleep with her," I said taking another drag of my cigarette. "At least he gets laid."
"You know, Goyle is always available."
"Disgusting!" I exclaimed at the wretched image. "Fuck, Teddy, I was talking about you."
"Do you think Zabini would mind if I hassled the mudblood a bit?" Draco thought out loud, bringing his faithful foot soldiers to their attention.
"Does it matter?"I asked. "Since when do you listen to us?" he threw me a glare and I grinned.
"Why 'allo Hermione," Zabini saidwalking suggestively close to herjust as she entered the great hall. Gotta give him points for timing even if he is taking a page out of Malcolm Baddocks book (not a bestseller mind you).
"Zabini!" she screeched in surprise. "I thought I told you to leave me alone you!"
"But darling," he said jerking back in fake hurt. "After last night I thought we were on first names."
She went beet red and I couldn't help but snicker.Oh this was going to be an entertaining semester. She ran back into the corridor to avoid the gaze of all the students and right past me. I stuck my foot out just in time to trip her.
"Oh Granger are we really such poor company?" I asked. Sure, I sound like a bitch right now but this is the first time I have actually talked to Hermione Granger. Sure, I knew pretty much everything about her via my grapevine (perfection is my goal in life) but she apparently had no idea who I was and – I don't even want talk about what happened on the train ride here from the holiday vacation.
She and Draco exchanged some nasty words but from a bystander's perspective-- repressed sexual energy. Of course, he wouldn't hesitate to beat the shit out of me if I said it to his face. Believe you me. Anyway, before anything exciting could happen, Wonderboy and the Weasley is our King (aka ron, I enjoy referring to him as ronaldo don't ask why) showed up.
"What do you think you're doing, Malfoy?" Wonderboy shouted getting all worked up and shoving Draco away from Granger. I moved to the side so they could have access to the wall. Wonderboy, in case the nickname doesn't make sense, is the Harry Potter, my primary headache nearly every time I spend more than two seconds with my father. Earlier in the year he had an encounter with the Dark Lord and was now seen as a hero by all and a future head auror.
Note the sarcasm. I hate aurors and Harry Potter.
I hate aurors because of recent developments and by association, I am prone to disliking Harry Potter and if you so much speak a good word about him in Slytherin House you will be crucified, no joke, it happened to someone from that ridiculous DA.
Potter had Draco up against the wall and – ouch spit in the eye, point for Malfoy! Anyway it was about time to intervene before no one got any food whatsoever and living off nicotine is painful. I signaled for Blaise to get Granger, Teddy to get Potter and I would handle the talking. I enjoyed handling the talking because Draco is a bit of a repressive dictator.
I blew smoke in between causing Potter to move back and cough. "Boys, boys, boys, couldn't this wait for a more appropriate time, place and provocation? Granger isn't heardly worth killing eachother over."
I had a fist holding my collar and I was now the one up against the wall. God, fucking rash gryffindors. While I took it in a stride, one of my finer qualities, that and lying through my teeth.
"What did you say about, Hermione?" he snarled.
"It isn't like I called her a mudblood or anything," ouch the collar grip tightened. I glanced back, what loyal friends I have. They are taunting Weasley while I have to slither my way out of this mess.
"Then what did you say?"
"I am just saying that I have a betting pool going and killing eachother, here, now and over Granger isn't good for me." He gave me a look of pure hate and I just put on my best slytherin innocence.
"What are you picking on girls now, Potter?" Draco said about ten times too loudly. I glanced about and yes, there were indeed questioning students everywhere. "You throw Marlow up against a wall, what other slytherin girl is next on your agenda of assault?"
Potter backed off and I rubbed my neck. Fuck that kind of hurt. "Marlow?" Obviously, he wasn't familiar but who expected the Boy Who Lived to know the names of random slytherin girls?
"Marlow, at your service," I said taking a drag of my cigarette. "Come on guys. Draco, thanks your antics I bet there are no sausages left." We left the gryffindors stranded in the corridor, responsible for answering questions. Sure they would say we insulted them and blah blah blah, but everyone listens to Wonderboy anyway so why bother? I wanted some ruddyfood.
"I hope Snape doesn't continue this ridiculous idea of interhouse-pairings," Draco complained on the way to potions.
"You're just sour because you got that Brown girl and couldn't get into her pants," Blaise said. "I on the other hand was with that um... vicky girl. She was certainly worth the extra hours if you know what I mean."
"Do you think about anything but sex?" I asked bluntly.
"Oh come on, Xan, don't tell me you're a celebate!"
"Hardly, but the constant commentary on your neverending hard-on is a bit too much."
He muttered something about 'Marlow in need of a good lay' but I take him about as seriously as I take Braddock but that is with his shirt on, with it off he is notoriously persuasive. At least I keep my clothes on and remain persuasive.
"Ah if it isn't my favorite students," professor Snape said, ushering us into class. I liked Snape for all the wrong reasons. I should like him because if I wanted to I could do nothing, blame everything on Longbottom and still pass but my father was close friends with Snape and he is guardian of large portions of my financial and business estate.
"Class has begun!" he shouted. We were being placed in partners again for some potion in our books. I wasn't exactly listening, it was still early and all the sausages were gone.
"Malfoy-Nott!"
"Baddock-Brown!"
"Oh that should be interesting," I whispered to Draco. He seemed pretty happy with his group."
"Marlow-Weasley!"
"Bugger!" All eyes turned to Ronaldo. Glad to see I am well liked.
END OF CHAPTER 1